Dillards 41: Chocolate, Cheese, and Other Things More Interesting

[VixenToast]

Since when has kneeling ever been a sign of disrespect? It's not like they're walking off or flipping the bird during the anthem. Never understood the anger over it. It's beautiful, still respectful, and peaceful protest. It hurts no one.

JFC Derick , get off your self-righteous high horse.

[singsingsing]

I wonder if he'll be using all his extra free time to not masturbate. 

[Satan'sFortress]

Did anyone read the three tips on how not to masturbate?  I couldn't bring myself to click on the link, but I am curious.  I'm guessing they have something to do with Jesus.

[Bad Wolf]

I think Derick just likes to hear himself talk, or see himself tweet or something.

[Georgiana]

[fluffernutter]

OMG. What the hell is wrong with him. Pity Jill didn't actually get to really know the guy before they got married.

[seasonsoflife]

This reminds me a bit of M&JB pieces of your heart away crap. Like "we dated regularly as teenagers and used birth control after that but do as I say not as I do".  Derrick OBVIOUSLY masturbated as a teen (and good for him) and now that he has a woman that was programmed to tend to his every sexual need he is advising others to just control themselves.

Also....that article...how does "masturbation become the enemy of missions". It says that a guy who masturbates  "can hardly imagine witnessing to a pretty girl about the eternal plight of her soul, because he has so habitually looked at girls naked in his imagination". My imagining and seeing naked men has not prevented me from establishing non sexual bonds and interactions with pretty boys....but I am not a perverted who makes everything sexual like these people, so...silly me. Seriously, these people have the most unhealthy relationships with human sexuality. 

[Jinder Roles]

Yes Derick, peaceful protest of white supremacy is un-American, but apparently the racist jargon of the President (that you fucking voted for) and infringing on others' rights is super American. 

Actually, in an ironic way, white supremacy and unabashed nationalism is pretty American (just he ugly side of American-ness) 

[AtlanticTug]

It's like he is morphing into the stereotypical angry, hateful preacher right before our eyes. Think Steve Anderson.  I am not sure what's made him so angry recently - I don't think he had that anger in him when we first met him. He doesn't have the personality or discipline to hide it, so I think that it's a more recent development. I wonder whether he found his mission "work" disappointing, maybe he didn't save as many souls as he thought and he figures that a more public fire and brimstone approach will work? I don't know what else could have gotten into him, but he's just really unpleasant.

[QuiverFullofBooks]

24 minutes ago, Satan'sFortress said:

Did anyone read the three tips on how not to masturbate?  I couldn't bring myself to click on the link, but I am curious.  I'm guessing they have something to do with Jesus.

It's not quite as bad as I expected. The first one is "you are not alone" and the article admits that pretty much everyone (even women!) has done it. The second one is that doing it sometimes doesn't disqualify you from ministry. The third tip is oddly phrased, but it basically means to think about religion instead. I can't believe no one has mentioned that the blog's name is "desiring God." Hopefully that's what they're trying to do instead of masturbating, and not why they were masturbating!

[lomo6]

3 hours ago, VelociRapture said:

Add #blessed or #jesuslovesthemall to that post and she'd sound just like a Bates. 

I initially read the first hashtag as "Jesus loves the mall," which would seem oddly on-brand for prosperity gospel!

ETA: @Georgiana you are my hero for that meme. 

[Rachel333]

Kneeling for the national anthem is completely non-violent, peaceful, and unobtrusive, but those "white moderates" still don't like it. It's almost like it's less about the form of protest  and more that they're bothered that black people are protesting at all...

[hollywood]

Funny how I always used to think Jessa and Ben were gonna be the giant problematic ones and Derick and Jill would break away. Wow.  (Yes, Jessa and Ben are problematic too)

[FloraKitty35]

Kneeling and/or not standing for the national anthem or the Pledge of Allegiance is not illegal.  Also, if the person was protesting in this manner was doing it to express anger at legalized abortion or marriage equality, Derick Dillshit and the rest of the christo-fascist mouth breathers would be ok with it.

[cascarones]

....So does he realize this happens in college ball too? I believe it was Michigan and Mich. State last year,  if it happens at OSU will he forsake his Pistol Pete glory days?

[Jenn The Heathen]

I thought the Duggars didn't watch sports.  I'm guessing this is their thing and not a fundie thing?

[singsingsing]

30 minutes ago, Jenn The Heathen said:

I thought the Duggars didn't watch sports.  I'm guessing this is their thing and not a fundie thing?

Nope, they definitely watch sports, especially football.

[Jenn The Heathen]

25 minutes ago, singsingsing said:

Nope, they definitely watch sports, especially football.

Thanks.  I'm not sure why I thought that. 

[feministxtian]

Does Jilly-muffin stand in front of the TV when they show the cheerleaders so Derwreck won't be "tempted"? 

[Lurky]

9 hours ago, Rachel333 said:

Kneeling for the national anthem is completely non-violent, peaceful, and unobtrusive, but those "white moderates" still don't like it. It's almost like it's less about the form of protest  and more that they're bothered that black people are protesting at all...

There's literally NO way an African American can protest that's OK, it seems.  If people march, that's seen as violent and scary, so send in armed police - and the right wingers start finger wagging and saying "be more like Dr King".  Do a peaceful, respectful protest and it's so outrgeous the whole NFL should be boycott.  The only good protest, for these racist types, is one that's silent, and they never hear about.

As you say, kneeling to protest is a complete act of respect - it's respectful to the anthem, while making a really strong point about how in so many areas, black people don't have the same experience of the "land of the free" as white people. It's so simple, and so effective, and as everyone says, very American (it would never have the same impact in eg the UK, as our anthem means something very different).

(Hasn't Derick been on anti-abortion protests/marches?   He wears T-shirts that bring up his causes on TV all the time, and I wonder how he sees that as different... except of course his causes are inherently right and everyone else's inherently wrong)

[SapphireSlytherin]

Wait. Watching TV??? They have television???? 

But no masturbation. 

Ok. Whatever. 

[Casserole]

7 hours ago, feministxtian said:

Does Jilly-muffin stand in front of the TV when they show the cheerleaders so Derwreck won't be "tempted"? 

... he was Pistol Pete. Traditionally Pistol Pete travels and competes with the school's cheerleaders at the NCA College National Championships in Daytona Beach. I've competed in that competition and when I tell you that week Daytona becomes a hotbed of thousands of half naked girls, alcohol, sex, and some mild drugs it'd be an understatement. I doubt he skipped Pistol Pete's biggest obligation for the school/event of the year. 

Maybe he holed himself up in his hotel room and read his bible alone, maybe he had one wild weekend a year in college... We'll never know. 

[LurkerOverThePond]

Just the mental image of Mr. Dickhead "slapping his meat"... 

(where's that barfing emoticon when you need it most?!)

[VeryNikeSeamstress]

Derdork's ridiculous masturbation tweet is reminding me of a musical revue I saw about 10 years ago called Naked Boys Singing. There were five cast members singing songs about various aspects of gay manhood and nudity. One of my favorite numbers included rubber steaks, meat tenderizers and a beat boxing interlude. I couldn't find a video (obviously NSFW), but the lyrics are cute. Dirty Jesus, this one's for you.

Spoiler

Jack's Song Lyrics - Naked Boys Singing

When all those trials and tribulations gather daily at my door. 
When all those petty aggravations are attracting even more. 
In my hour of desperation something always pulls me through.
Thus I find rejuvenation doing what I always do. 
I beat my meat. 
I beat my meat. 
I get a grip and if it's stiff I'm gonna give myself a treat. 
I seek relief. 
I pound my beef. 
I breathe a sigh and yet if I don't feel contented and complete.
I just repeat. 
I beat my meat. 
You don't needan education. 
You don't need a PHD. 
All you need is concentration and the rest comes naturally. 
You don't need collaberation. 
Calvin Kleins or great physiques. 
Now we'll do a demonstration of a few of our techniques. 
I beat my meat. 
I beat my meat. 
I get a grip and if it's stiff I'm gonna give myself a treat. 
I beat my meat. 
I beat my meat. 
I breathe a sigh and yet if i don't feel contented and complete.
Then I repeat, then I repeat, then I repeat. 
I beat my meat. 

What in the (?) moralizing. 
But our favorite form of exercizing. 
Is socially correct. 
As well as as advertising. 
Cause who would serve a steak in need of tenderizing. 
So...I beat my meat. 
I beat my meat 
And since it's stiff I get a grip. 
I'm gonna give myself a treat. 
I beat my meat. 
I beat my meat. 
And when I do I'm telling you I'm contented and complete. 
I get a thrill. I get the grill. Change my attire. And light the fire. 
I salt I oil and then I broil then we say grace and then we eat. 
But first I beat, but first I beat, but first I beat, but first I beat but first I beat 

 

[HereticHick]

Oh Derrick, you are the gift that keeps on giving. OSU must be so proud