Joy and Austin 13: Another Duggar Pregnancy Grandbaby 10

[SuperNova]

2 hours ago, singsingsing said:

Plenty of 19-year-olds do just fine as parents. I get that it's not ideal and we all want to express our shock and sadness that Joy is stuck, has seemingly thrown away her potential, etc. but I'm pretty sure there are a lot of people who became parents in their teens or early 20s reading this and I think it's kind of unfair to keep up this narrative of, "Holy shit, 19-year-olds can't even tie their shoes, they'd be DOOMED if they had a baby!"

Joy has been taking care of babies from a young age. She's been training her whole life to become a mother. I'm not celebrating the fact that she's 19, married and pregnant, but she's going to be fine. 

Thank you for saying this. I've mentioned before on other threads that I was a 16 year old mom. I wouldn't advocate having children in your teenage years and I made plenty of mistakes but it didn't ruin my life. As a very misguided and directionless girl, it gave me purpose and focus and a reason to better my life.

On the other hand, I was so focused on being a good parent that I had no sense of myself till my kid left for college. It took me more than three years to see myself clearly outside of the role of mom. My fear for Joy is that the babies will keep coming and her only sense of indentity will be as a mom. 

[season of life]

I am exactly Joy's age. I can't even handle my college assignments, let alone a baby.

[Cheetah]

Catching up... various thoughts:

a) Joy is the first Duggar who is younger than one of my own kids.  My daughter is about 4 months older than Joy.  So this one hits a little close to home.

b ) On whether it's twins - some folks here have said that if it were twins, they would have said that yesterday with the rest of the announcement.  My own thought is that they were maybe hoping to wait another couple of weeks and use the baby announcement as a teaser once the season starts, but Joy is showing too much already.  But they could drop the news that she's pregnant, and save a twin announcement for another couple of weeks.  Guess we'll see.  Also I don't think Jessa will be the one dying of jealousy if Joy has twins first.  She seems pretty happy with her own little family.   (I could see Jill being jealous, and if Jinger is having fertility issues rather than preventing pregnancy it would be hard on her as well). 

c) on pregnancy dating:  so one aspect I didn't see brought up yet is that the actual order of things is ovulate, then 2 weeks later is the period.  If you are really irregular, you can ovulate out of the blue without having had a period any time recently.  If you don't then get pg, you'll have your period 2 weeks later.  If you get pg on that cycle, that's where it gets hard to date things without an ultrasound.

d) Taking Charge of your Fertility is a great book that explains in a ton of detail how to time things to get pregnant even if you are irregular, and also how to time things to not get pregnant.  If you are on the younger end here at FJ and just getting started with being sexually active (or you've been at it for a while but are thinking about changing up your birth control or thinking about getting pregnant) I'd recommend getting a copy of this book.  

[allthegoodnamesrgone]

1 hour ago, SnazzyNazzy said:

Personally, the worst thing to me, about having a baby at 19, is the possibility of becoming a grandma before you're 40 years old. I'm an ageist when it comes to becoming a grandma, I want to be OLD gosh darnit.

No kidding, my kids are 19 & 17 I'm 47 and I've told them under NO circumstances am I to be a grandma before I'm 50. Even that is pushing it as far as I'm concerned. I'd like them to hold off until I'm 55, because it is all about me you know. 

1 hour ago, Seculardaisy said:

Teen mom shaming is one thing I won't do. I don't mean to say you specifically are doing that, I've seen plenty of people use the same tone and say the same things on here.

I had my first child at age 18 and many people said the same stuff with many condescending judgements added to that to my (now) husband and I. Ten years later we are married with a couple more kids and doing VERY well for ourselves. Despite our young age when we had our first we were very stable together and did everything possible to educate ourselves on parenting.

Age doesn't automatically mean people will be  incompetent parents. Joy was unfortunately raised from birth to be a mother. I'm sure she will do just fine.

That is the thing for me, my son is 1 month younger than Joy and he is NO POSITION to be a good parent right now.  Joy is probably in a better spot AND Austin will be 24 when this baby is born, they have a home, they have money that will be 1/2 the battle for young parents.  My son has neither of those things, he still stays up all night playing video games and acting like a teenage boy.  I would kick his ass if he got some girl pregnant right now, he's too irresponsible.  I do have to remember not EVERYONE that age is like he is.

[veron1que]

Joy's quite bossy, I think she be fine as a mom. I worry far more about Jinger. She always seemed the least domestic to me. I'm happy for her and the lifestyle changes she seems to have made. I have a hard time seeing Jinger with 10+ kids. Of the married girls, I see Joy and Jess's handeling  large brood the best. 

[FloraDoraDolly]

What makes me feel sad about this situation isn't so much that Joy is having a baby at 19. It's that this will most likely be the first of many, many, many babies. If you have one kid at 19, you're still fairly young when the kid is grown up. You can go back to school, or start a business, or basically just live your life. But that's not likely to happen to Joy. She'll spend the next 20-plus years popping out one kid after another whether she wants them or not, and whether she can take proper care of them or not. She'll homeskool them. She'll raise them to be good members of the cult. She'll pimp them out to the TV cameras. Thus the cycle of fundie ignorance and dysfunction (and reality TV fk-upedness) is passed down to yet another generation.

[BackseatMom]

2 hours ago, singsingsing said:

The tragedy is that her family was so unsupportive. Shit happens in life. No one's life ever goes perfectly according to plan, with no pitfalls, sidetracks, or implosions. Also, sometimes people make decisions (i.e. a 19-year-old planning to get pregnant) that others think are appalling and terrible, but it works out for them and they're happy. There isn't one right way to 'do' life, and spending your late teens and 20s going to college, traveling, partying, dating and 'finding yourself' isn't the only path, or even the best path for everyone.

 

Well, first it wasn't a planned pregnancy.  By the time she realized, her baby daddy was in prison for drugs. She dropped out of school. And her family tried to tough love her into not being such an idiot, but ultimately rallied when she had the baby, and they are supporting her, the baby, and her recently released baby daddy/boyfriend. They all live in her parents' basement, and she drives an Uber. It was a mistake, and instead of acting like a grown-up and trying to finish he last semester of college and get a real job, she kept failing until her parents couldn't watch her fail any more. It was definitely a series of mistakes for her.

Just because some people rise to the occasion when it comes to young Parenthood (or even chose it and love it) doesn't change that for most people in present day America, it is a limiting and difficult choice.

[Honeysuckle]

Once again, I'm so confused by the people who say that Joy or any other Duggar will be a fine parent because they've been caring for babies for so long. Keeping the baby alive is not the part that worries me. It's the fact that Joy was indoctrinated into a set of beliefs where babies are capable of sin and malice, where the repugnant Pearls and their ilk are not seen as repugnant. Those are the skills that she's building on as she heads into parenthood.

If one of the boys started a construction company based on the skills they learned building the TTH, people would rightly be appalled. People were appalled at Jill's lay midwifery training. But for some reason, despite the Duggars showing over and over again that everything they do is half-assed at best and dangerous at worst, taking care of her siblings in a family where children are hit with a rod (as per the documents in the Josh case) is going to make Joy a great mom?

[singsingsing]

44 minutes ago, Honeysuckle said:

But for some reason, despite the Duggars showing over and over again that everything they do is half-assed at best and dangerous at worst, taking care of her siblings in a family where children are hit with a rod (as per the documents in the Josh case) is going to make Joy a great mom?

Saying, "She has a lot of experience raising kids, and she's been training for this her whole life. She'll be fine" does not translate to, "She's going to be the best mom ever, and that kid is so lucky!" It means that becoming a mother at a young age is probably not going to be a catastrophic shock to her system. That she'll probably adapt fairly easily. That she probably won't fall into a depression because she feels she was robbed of all her opportunity and potential. 

Whether she's going to be a 'great mom' is a separate question. Unfortunately bad (and even abusive) parenting is rampant in all segments of society, not just fundamentalism.

[BeccaGrim]

Maybe its twins.  Everyone is commenting on the size of the bump. Maybe its twins. 

[SuffolkNWhat]

I'd love to be a fly on the Seewalds wall if it is twins...

[SassyPants]

9 minutes ago, BeccaGrim said:

Maybe its twins.  Everyone is commenting on the size of the bump. Maybe its twins. 

Maybe it's the "eating for two" ice cream bowl.

I have now seen 3 photos of the PG Joy and in 2/3 of them she is consuming a syrupy ice cream concoction. 

I wish that the Duggar ladies got some PG nutrition counseling. 

[singsingsing]

Maybe it's quadruplets.

[Kimichaels147]

Well I get on my twitter to this little gem. Clearblue must be supplying the numerous pregnancy tests the daughters will be taking for the next upteen years. 

(I can't figure out how to put the picture in a spoiler on mobile, sorry)

Spoiler

 

[Dubiousclaire]

@allthegoodnamesrgone

My neice is in the same boat, but longer, her kids are 5 and 6 now. I just recently divorced myself from her drama because it was exhausting and exasperating. She played "chicken little" with me one too many times. On the upside, she provided a great example of what not to do for my teenagers. 

But in Joy's case, even if there are struggles, there are a kajillion family members to help her out. 

[mango_fandango]

Alyssa Webster had her first at 20 (like Joy will be, but a few months older) but IMO she seems more mature. She also said she wants around six kids rather than just "we'll let God decide", but that may be just talk. 

I agree that it's sad she has no intellectual curiosity or anything but that was all squashed out of her. Neither of her parents attended college like Kelly and Gil did. Even somewhere like Clown College is better than nothing; it may be all religious bullcrap but at least they get to interact with kids outside their family. 

[karen77]

1 hour ago, Cheetah said:

 

d) Taking Charge of your Fertility is a great book that explains in a ton of detail how to time things to get pregnant even if you are irregular, and also how to time things to not get pregnant.  If you are on the younger end here at FJ and just getting started with being sexually active (or you've been at it for a while but are thinking about changing up your birth control or thinking about getting pregnant) I'd recommend getting a copy of this book.  

This book is fantastic, and honestly, should be required for every teenage girl (with the extra caveat that teenagers seem to be extra fertile)

[SassyPants]

It's not just a lack of curiosity but also such a heavy dose of lack of motivation and laziness that seemingly permeates almost every single one of the Duggars. It's as if the kids ran with the notion that JB and M wanted uneducated, unthinking, unquestioning bumpkins and so each one of them strived to be just that. It's as if they do not even know where to begin to find an interest or to seek knowledge. I suppose Jill was doing the low level midwife helper thing, but once that ring was on the finger, the lips and sperm+egg met, her interests in MW melted away.

It's so stunted.

And we all know that with 19 kids, there will be a handful who WILL, eventually, want more out of life.

Perhaps Jana and JD ARE making a choice and controlling their owns futures in the only way that they know how.

And Ginger, you go girl. Attire, travel, living away from Duggarville- YOU do YOU.

[justoneoftwo]

Jill did continue with her "studies" after she had a baby.  She may not even know that her "studies" were not sufficient.  She did seem to have some interests.  I agree she wasn't planning on actually working, but she probably wanted to deliver all her sister's kids.  

[Analytica49]

I was trying to figure out why the news of JoyAnna's pregnancy bothers me so much.

It's not because it surprised me--It didn't.

It's not because I think she's not ready to be a mother. She probably is.

It's not because I think she will miss out on all the great life experiences she could have if she didn't reproduce at this age. She probably WILL miss out on them, but I don't care, and I'm guessing she doesn't care either.

No, the reason I'm bothered about it is this: Once again, the Duggars and their spawn are sending the message that the TRUE PURPOSE of a woman is to have babies, and the only real value of women is to get pregnant, birth, and raise umpteen children for Gawd. Once again, the public message is that women's only fulfillment is through procreation.

Just once I would like to hear the Duggars and their spawn acknowledge that women can do other things. I'd like them to recognize that, e.g., women doctors, nurses, lawyers, teachers, political leaders, etc., make important contributions to society, and admit that women who don't have children can have worthwhile and fulfilling lives.

Obviously they're never going to say such things. But it's just so annoying to see this celebration of fecundity without celebrating any of women's other abilities and talents.

 

 

[allthegoodnamesrgone]

1 hour ago, veron1que said:

Joy's quite bossy, I think she be fine as a mom. I worry far more about Jinger. She always seemed the least domestic to me. I'm happy for her and the lifestyle changes she seems to have made. I have a hard time seeing Jinger with 10+ kids. Of the married girls, I see Joy and Jess's handeling  large brood the best. 

This is my horse to die on.  She isn't bossy, she has leadership skills. Just because a girl/woman is authoritative doesn't mean she's bossy, you never say a man is bossy, you say he is a leader.  In other words when my parents tell me I'm too bossy (have I mentioned I'm 47?)  I tell them, "No, I'm not, I have leadership skills, damnit get it right!"  

[SuffolkNWhat]

27 minutes ago, allthegoodnamesrgone said:

This is my horse to die on.  She isn't bossy, she has leadership skills. Just because a girl/woman is authoritative doesn't mean she's bossy, you never say a man is bossy, you say he is a leader.  In other words when my parents tell me I'm too bossy (have I mentioned I'm 47?)  I tell them, "No, I'm not, I have leadership skills, damnit get it right!"  

 

 

Spoiler

 

[allthegoodnamesrgone]

33 minutes ago, Kimichaels147 said:

Well I get on my twitter to this little gem. Clearblue must be supplying the numerous pregnancy tests the daughters will be taking for the next upteen years. 

You know Jessa and Joy should hook up with Clear Blue or First Response, even Pampers, Huggies, or Luvs Diapers, they could do commercials.  They will be pregnant nonstop between the two of them for quite some time, they are pretty, they are conservative but have yet to be over the top assholes about it, they know how to work in front of the camera.  I can't believe no one has thought of it yet.  Even if the commercials just ran on UP and other "Christian" networks, and electronic and print adds on conservative sites and in conservative magazines. 

[singsingsing]

Just now, allthegoodnamesrgone said:

You know Jessa and Joy should hook up with Clear Blue or First Response, even Pampers, Huggies, or Luvs Diapers, they could do commercials.  They will be pregnant nonstop between the two of them for quite some time, they are pretty, they are conservative but have yet to be over the top assholes about it, they know how to work in front of the camera.  I can't believe no one has thought of it yet.  Even if the commercials just ran on UP and other "Christian" networks, and electronic and print adds on conservative sites and in conservative magazines. 

That's a good idea, but I think the Josh scandals doomed anything like that for them. They're just too controversial and divisive at this point.

[AlwaysExcited]

1 hour ago, SuperNova said:

My fear for Joy is that the babies will keep coming and her only sense of indentity will be as a mom. 

That might already be a reality. 

I mean, sure, she is also a daughter, but what kind of a relationship she has with her parents? She is a sister, but family dynamics are so screwed up and complicated. Her closest sister/real mother has a shit to deal of her own and they have spent a lot of time away from each other. She might have a friend or two. She is a Christian. And a TV "star".
But mostly is she is just a wife and mother to be.