Bates 22: Courting, Marrying, and Trying to not Look Fundie

[Berty K]

On 1/5/2018 at 5:13 PM, Seculardaisy said:

I’m guessing the Bates family gets this at a discount in exchange for the free publicity for Taryn because it doesn’t come cheap.

I don’t know, I think it’s just all regional. I’m northeast US and you’re not going to find a “bump bundle” or whatever she was calling it type package for less than a grand. It’s all relative. 

[BeccaGrim]

I wondered the same thing! Does she have trouble reading? Or is his handwriting the pits?  I mean the first one maybe you're so shocked you can't process but as the day goes on...what was going on there?  I'm dyslexic so I get issues...but all that education across the dining room table..maybe she didn't get the help she needed. 

[JessaBlessa]

Yes, I was guessing she was reluctant to read out loud because she can't.  But isn't she in "college"? 

[Kelsey]

Jessa had trouble with the scavenger hunt as well. There were a few times that Jinger basically guided her to the answer. I think it's just nerves/anticipation. 

[User error]

Does anyone know who Trace was sitting beside at the Church? 

[JermajestyDuggar]

On 1/5/2018 at 9:47 PM, Feministe9000 said:

They’re either teaching ala Tabitha; or what looks here to be mostly child rearing/teaching. 

So stay at home daughters in someone else’s house. Right. 

It seems fundie girls think they live in a Jane Austen or Bronte Sister novel. If they haven't married by a certain age then they become governesses to wealthier families 

[fluffernutter]

OMG that episode. My eyes hurt from rolling in the back of my head so much. An entire day, scavenger hunt?! For a courtship!? Ugh. And that song. Ugh. I think these two win the award for most annoying fundie couple ever. 

[HarleyQuinn]

On 1/8/2018 at 3:17 PM, Kelsey said:

Jessa had trouble with the scavenger hunt as well. There were a few times that Jinger basically guided her to the answer. I think it's just nerves/anticipation. 

I think Jessa's annoyance stemmed from the fact that she knew she was going to be proposed too and she just wanted to get to that.

I still think Ben and Jessa in that church during the proposal was probably the most genuine thing I've ever seen on the Duggar show. It's a shame they couldn't actually marry there like they wanted because of  Kim Jong Boob.

[IReallyAmHopewell]

On 1/5/2018 at 10:04 PM, Kelsey said:

If she's hubby-hunting, I hope she fares better than poor Tabi.

THIS.  Has anyone found anything about Tabitha and her icky husband yet?

 

I think it is "approved" that older SAHD can go and stay and help in like-minded homes. Yes, husband hunting has to be part of it I'm sure, but if Daddy is the one who must approve them then are the girls really doing the hunting? Or are they being placed where paths can cross before Daddy springs the news? I know the Bates have managed to pick their own spouses (or it seems more like they have at least) but I think of Tabitha and can't believe she picked him (wishful thinking on my part)

[OhNoNike]

Can you remind me why Jessa couldn’t get married in the glass church?  Was it the size?

[VelociRapture]

12 minutes ago, OhNoNike said:

Can you remind me why Jessa couldn’t get married in the glass church?  Was it the size?

Yes. There’s no way they’d be able to fit close to 1,000 guests in that Church. At least Ben was able to include it in the proposal though. 

[ariel9]

As much as we snark on the Bates the  girls dresses are gorgeous. Ok just wanted to say that. Carry on from here.

[MsSaylor]

I fit in the episode quick while husband went to the store to get us snacks for tonight. Kelly was kind of cute in it helping Erin decorate Michael and Brandons new house. I didnt understand why they were acting like they didnt know what bowling even was. Michael talked a bit about the infertility. She said they dont really have an answer and there was one more test she wanted to have done with Dr. Vic then they were going to take a break for awhile. 

[ophelia]

On 1.1.2018 at 10:01 PM, Seculardaisy said:

Katie is really stunning now. I am jealous of these Bateseses girls ability to do makeup so well.

I'm jealous too.. they always look stunning and Katie especially. I also love the modern modest style of the girls. Not so much when they wear skirts, but I love how they combine dresses with cardigans and jewelery. I mostly wear dresses and I'd love to style them this way. Althoug I am WAY bigger than Katie and Josie combined.

On 6.1.2018 at 3:28 AM, Seculardaisy said:

What is it with Chad’s sisters? They seem to travel around the fundie family circles. Tabitha had to live with the Duggars and now Abby with the Bates family? Why can’t they live at home?

Because their mothers don't need anymore help with schooling or chores since the family isn't as big as it was anymore. And not all fundie families dust of ceiling fans every two weeks.

[JMO]

17 hours ago, MsSaylor said:

Kelly was kind of cute in it helping Erin decorate Michael and Brandons new house. 

Erin was certainly a taskmaster with the decorating.  It seems to be one of her talents.  Wasn't she the one who used to create all the photo albums too?  I do agree with the poster from the Keilan thread, I now understand why her house looks like pinterest threw up all over it.  She seems to live by the "more is better" way of thinking.  And I hate those damn flag decorations that have gotten so popular.  I get it when they use them as a banner at a party or even to write the kid's name over the bassinet but the burlap flags on the painted fireplace irritated me. 

[fluffernutter]

Wow. Erin was practically rolling her eyes at Mama and pulling rank.  Reminded me of Jessa when they all went to decorate the Laredo apartment. Poor Chad. His "modern" decor is dust in the wind. Disclaimer: I once had a boyds bear on a swing in our foyer. My husband didn't like it (wonder why?) and only like ten years in the marriage did it dawn on me to actually ask him what he might like our house to look like. (Bears on swings was not one of his choices.)

[Eternalbluepearl]

I'm a minimalist and all that hobby lobby tchotchke crap was making me twitch. How many Jesus and we are married signs does one living room need? Bleh. I'm glad Michael and Brandon liked it though. I know I need to be nicer, that craft store overload look is very popular. Just not my personal taste. 

I do like how interested Kelly seems in her kids' lives. She gets excited for them and seems supportive of what they are each going through. My mom has 4 kids and has always seemed more distracted and time-constrained. Kelly seems to focus on the child (or adult) in front of her. My mom also works a lot at a job outside the home so that could be it too. 

[Percy]

@Eternalbluepearl maybe you can plan 1 on 1 time with your Mum?

l also work full time at a very busy job, but I like to think my girls are proud of what I have achieved.  They do seem to like to tell their friends that I am a urology nurse, or ‘penis nurse’ as one used to tell her friends at catholic school, just to get a reaction.  

I hope they have learned that they can achieve their goals in their desired fields with hard work and focus.

Daughter number 2 and I are planning a 1 on 1 holiday to the USA this year, combining a conference for me, and travel for her.  We are really looking forward to it.

[ophelia]

@Percy "penis nurse" made me spit tea all over my desk!!! 

[Percy]

Sorry, but that is my job.    The girls delighted in shocking their friends.

Daughter number 2 has a wonderful boyfriend, of 3 years now.

When they first started going out I was studying a prostate care course.  Daughter number 2 is not fazed by anything medical so she comes to talk to me about her day with boyfriend in tow.  I had a picture of diseased testes on the computer, he did a quick about face and left the room.

He is not fazed at all now.  

[Eternalbluepearl]

2 hours ago, Percy said:

@Eternalbluepearl maybe you can plan 1 on 1 time with your Mum

Yes, my mom is also a nurse and I've always been so proud of her and her career. Nurses are amazing!

[ophelia]

14 minutes ago, Eternalbluepearl said:

Yes, my mom is also a nurse and I've always been so proud of her and her career. Nurses are amazing!

They are indeed. My little sister is in nursing school and is going to finish this year and I couldn't be more proud of her! My mother and my grandmother were both medical laboratory scientist and I really don't know how they did while keeping a household and raising kids.

[Thorns]

Heh, I'm in the health field as well. Hubs is not, but he do a lot of search and rescue volunteering, so he is used to a lot. He does start to twitch tho when I start my Google picture searches of Infections, malformations and nasty conditions! My search history is...interesting. 

[fluffernutter]

@Eternalbluepearl off topic but the minimalist comment peaked my interest. We are trying to de-clutter and get rid of stuff. I've always been organized but totally got sucked into the primitive/country look for years. So the area above my kitchen cabinets- do you have a space there? It's about a foot tall and we have the most odd assortment of useless things up there. Thinking about totally getting rid of it and leaving it blank. I'm afraid it will look too sparse. I'd love your thoughts and any info/books/etc on what led you to minimalism. 

[Eternalbluepearl]

@fluffernutter in my current house, we don't have that space above the cabinets. The cabinets go all the way up. In the past, I have left that space blank though and been happy with it. I actually adore empty spaces and empty shelves where my eye can rest. I grew up with a grandmother who was a hoarder. I didn't know that word until I was an adult but it definitely influenced my feelings towards "stuff." I have anxiety and have been into minimaliam since around college age. It always made me feel a little strange that a lot of things made me feel uncomfortable. When I was older (I'm early 30's), I learned it is called minimalism and there are others like me. Now, I follow minimalism pages on Facebook and I love to read about it. I follow The Minimalists, Courtney Carver, Smallish, The Minimalist Mom to name a few. Dana K. White has the blog/facebook page called A slob Comes Clean. She has excellent decluttering advice and a wonderful book. I've gotten really inspired to declutter more seriously in the last few years and now I feel so happy with my home. With my husband, new baby and I, we are living with plenty but no clutter and no excess stuff on the walls and it feels great. We have a few wedding and family photos up and that's it. We always get compliments when family comes over that there is so much space, that things feel so open, our house is so clean, etc. But then I will be told I'm crazy for not wanting whatever trinket or kitchen item by these same people so it's kind of funny that way. Anyway, welcome to decluttering! It's awesome.