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Seewalds 25: Jessa is allowing Spurgeon to "jump for joy", er, dance


samurai_sarah

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19 hours ago, allthegoodnamesrgone said:

I honestly don't see any of the kids writing a tell all until after the last kid is either married or self sustaining.  

I wholeheartedly agree with this. It will be a while yet before the Duggar family implodes, but it's coming. It's definitely coming. You can't have that many people and that level of dysfunction without heading for major catastrophe eventually. I am sure there is some deep genuine love and caring between some of the siblings and that they are looking out for it. I don't think any of the children are going to break free and write a salacious gossip book for money. But I do think the shit is going to hit the fan one day and there will be one of them that breaks free from the cult and becomes an advocate for religious freedom. I don't know who or when it will be but the odds make it pretty darn likely.

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I like it when Jessa has on less makeup.  She is a naturally pretty woman, and she doesn't need all that slap.  She does look happy and Ben as well.  I think Ben had some rough times the first year, but they seem pretty solid together. 

If there were to be another scandal,  it might be enough to prompt one of the older middle kids to break away.  If the rumors are true about kendra first bonding with Jed,  that  is interesting.  We saw very little of Jed this past season and very few pictures in social media of him.  Neither Jer or Jed really seem as into this mess as the others.  But,  I just can't help but feel these middle duggar boys are lazy.  So would any of them have the gumption to actually go to the trouble to separate from the family.  Even with the promise of quick money from a tabloid or a book deal,  that sill requires work on their part.  I just think they will mosey along with life as they know it.  But if another scandal happened and if it had the potential to damage JBs fortune, one of the kids might  opt out and try to sell the story. 

And I wish the JD would meet a nice woman, someone that he falls hard enough for that he would be willing to tell JB and M that he is going to follow his own path.  NOt that he will publicly trash the family, but just quietly lead his own life. 

I do hope one of the kids gets smart enough to go to JB with a bill, for all of their camera time from childhood and up.  Add interest to that, and a penalty for  invading their privacy,  and demand JB pay them a specific amount and let them go, or they will go public.  I just like the idea of JB being backed into a corner and having one of the kids taking control for while. 

I have sort of wondered if Jeremy and Jinger did this?  Did Jinger in some way indicate she was going to court Jeremy, cuddle with him on the couch, front hug, etc, and then live a life away and different and if JB didn't like it, Jinger would make a statement about Josh and how JB and M handled that mess.  I know this didn't happen, but in my fantasy, I would like to think it did.  THe fact that Jinger's courtship was pretty different, that her wedding was actually elegant and somewhat sophisticated, that she wasn't coerced into living in NWA, and that she is publicly doing things that don't fit with the duggars, makes me think somehow Jeremy used his knowledge of the Duggar's skeletons to say, we will play as we see fit and you will just have deal with that.

 

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@calimojoIn the scenario you presented, instead of JD, can it be Jana that falls hard for someone and leaves to quietly live her own life?  Preferably soon so that Michelle has to take care of the house, the lazy middle boys, and the little girls.

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13 minutes ago, Jenn The Heathen said:

@calimojoIn the scenario you presented, instead of JD, can it be Jana that falls hard for someone and leaves to quietly live her own life?  Preferably soon so that Michelle has to take care of the house, the lazy middle boys, and the little girls.

That would be lovely.  I said JD just because he seems to have more freedom than jana does.  He is out and about, flying planes, and possibly working.  Jana is stuck in the TTH.  Who in the heck is that poor girl going to meet?  What I wish for Jana is that she be granted some more independence.  Perhaps even allowed to get a job outside of the compound.  Then, if that happens, perhaps, she would have a chance to meet more people her age and pursue what interests her.  I fear she will end up married off to some middle aged man who is widowed and needs a mama for his  brood of kids.  I guess there is nothing wrong with that if it is someone she meets, and falls for, but I just think it will be told to her, it is time for her to take one for the team. 

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I DO think something went down between Jeremy and JB. From what I saw on TV, it seems that Jeremy tolerates JB and his redneck stupidity but would rather not have a helluva lot to do with him. Jinger always came off as a bit more "outside the box" in terms of not being exactly "happy" in BFE Arkansas. She seems to be happy and content in TX with Jeremy. She's going places, doing things, wearing whatever she wants. Jeremy seemingly supports her photography and she's "allowed" to really enjoy that. 

Ben is growing up...and I think he and Jessa are rather happy with their lives and their sons (who make my shriveled ovaries scream). The one I see trouble with is Dwreck and Jill. He seems to have his head clear up his ass and no real concern for his wife or children. Jill is a fucking idiot playing around with the pregnancies...70 hours first time, 40 the second? Damn bitch, get you a fucking OB/GYN and just schedule the c-section. 

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Ben is growing on  me.  He doesn't fully walk the party line. And for as young as he is,  it is impressive that he will speak out on somewhat controversial things. 

Perhaps he has an ally in Jeremy.  I think Jessa is still very bonded to the family.  But, I also think that if Ben were to start to move further away from their ideology, particularly if he is able to financially support them,  Jessa would go with it.  Jessa is doing her best to keep the show afloat  and to keep an income from their fame.  I can't really blame her as that is all she knows.  But, sometimes I think somewhere deep inside her she knows much of it is bullshit. 

And as I said on another thread,  in some ways,  Jessa has broken with Duggar tradition.  She doesn't appear to blanket train her children.  She has let Spurg rock the sweet curls, instead of getting the requisite home "young republican" cut that Michelle did with her boys and Izzy.  She listens to contemporary Christian music, and seems to be watching some TV as she follows The Gaine's.  She seems to tolerate Ben listening to rap music and seems proud that he is studying at a real school ( moody bible institute). 

We make a big deal out of Jinger wearing pants, but when you look at Jessa she has also grown away from some of her upbringing in ways that might be even more significant and she is doing it right under the watchful eye of JB and M.  We could be cynics and assume she is doing all this so as to seem more mainstream to her fan base.  That may be true.  Jessa seems to understand the benefits of having a fan base.  Or we could say that in small ways, she is loosening up on some of rigid rules she was raised with.

The proof will come however, when her life gets harder.  Will she eventually resort to blanket training and rigid rules when she has 6 kids in less than 10 years? 

I think Jessa is less rigid than she was right after marriage.  Maybe she is just better at managing her image.  Maybe she is changing.  Maybe a bit of both

 

 

 

 

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I do enjoy to see how Jessa and Ben are raising their kids and that Ben speaks out on some important issues, but as long as they keep having kids at this rate she won't evolve much from her own mother. She'll stay home and be pregnant or nursing, her oldest kids will end up as sister-moms and she'll probably be dependent on JB and Michelle/TLC for help and money. 

 

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27 minutes ago, shiverful said:

I do enjoy to see how Jessa and Ben are raising their kids and that Ben speaks out on some important issues, but as long as they keep having kids at this rate she won't evolve much from her own mother. She'll stay home and be pregnant or nursing, her oldest kids will end up as sister-moms and she'll probably be dependent on JB and Michelle/TLC for help and money. 

 

But having Ben/their dad form a clear (normal) view on those important subjects, especially racism, can make a huge impact on their lives. 

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52 minutes ago, calimojo said:

And as I said on another thread,  in some ways,  Jessa has broken with Duggar tradition.  She doesn't appear to blanket train her children.  She has let Spurg rock the sweet curls, instead of getting the requisite home "young republican" cut that Michelle did with her boys and Izzy.  She listens to contemporary Christian music, and seems to be watching some TV as she follows The Gaine's.  She seems to tolerate Ben listening to rap music and seems proud that he is studying at a real school ( moody bible institute). 

I totally agree with this.  Jinger's pants seem more in-your-face.  But if you think JB or Michelle like Spurge's adorable long curly hair, you are very wrong.  And I'm pretty certain they don't care for Christan rap music.  Jessa seems to be a very different mother than her own.  I also think Ben is quietly doing his own thing and Jessa is supportive of it.  Ben is more laid back than Jeremy.  So IMO Ben and Jessa are also doing things that JM & M don't like, it just doesn't come across as quite so obvious.  I don't thin Jeremy and JB like each other at all.

Regarding the Duggar kids breaking away at some point, look what already happened with just one of them (Josh, the golden boy).  He caused them to lose their TV show.  Look at some of Anna's siblings, and that family is much smaller.  Look at Cousin Amy on Marriage Boot Camp.  So sit back y'all.  It's coming!!  These older ones don't want a repeat of the Josh humiliation.   All those younger ones have grown up very privileged because of the evil TV that they don't watch.  They will behave more like spoiled bratty kids do when they grow up or end up the way some child TV actors do.  The other thing that comes to mind for me is that even if JB could maintain full control over all of his children, it's already being proven out that he can't control the ones that marry into the family.  They won't all be like Anna.  That's for sure.  No family with 19 children will be immune from divorce either.  It will be interesting to see how many divorces they end up with.  It may take a while, but we've got lots more coming from the Duggars, for many years.

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Total speculation on my part, but I think the first year of marriage was difficult for Jessa. It must be scarey to go from never being alone to living your own life.  Jessa always seemed more of a realist to me, not the romantic starry eyed "this is my prince" type.  She also strikes me as the type that will want control of things when she is unsure/scared/nervous.  Unlike many, I have never not liked Ben, or Jessa and Ben.  They must be my pet Fundies :)  Although young, I think he is good for her.  And the previous comments are right, it seems that there has been a more laid back approch from the Seewalds....and he is definatley trying to be less extreme right and moving to the middle.  Not enough for most of FJ to really aknowledge the shift, but it is like a light bulb is begining to flicker in his brain. This is not a bad thing....there may be just a bit of hope for thier children

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I agree, and I guess I wish there was a way to reach out to Ben and give him some positive feedback for his journey.  Even though he often follows up one of his more 'woke' posts with something back to the fundie patriarchal nightmare,  he is taking baby steps.  I want him to know that while we don't support their lifestyle, etc, that we support that flickering in his brain that is telling him that there are other ways to look at things.  I want to support his cognitive dissonance and be gentle when he backslides, as he is also likely to do because that is human. 

And I really want Jessa, to take her practical personality  and open her mind to just how much she is thriving on her motherhood journey so far.  I want her to value this time with her beautiful babies and recognize that if she adds more and more it will diminish how special and precious this time is for her.  Not that the children are diminished or less precious, but the experience will become less precious.  I want her to be smart enough to know that the joy she has now,  the laughter the chances to film Spurgeon being adorable is going to drive up when she has 6 kids.  She will be fighting to just stay afloat and won't have the time to enjoy her kids. 

Kids should be enjoyed. 

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I will admit I thought Jessa and Ben were a bad combo...Ben seems to have matured lightyears since the wedding. I guess having 2 kids back-to-back does that to you.

I am happy for them.

Poor Jill and Derick- what a disaster that union has proven to be.

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I like to think that Ben and Jessa are growing together, whereas Derick and Jill aren't even in the same yard. 

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14 minutes ago, Carm_88 said:

 

I like to think that Ben and Jessa are growing together, whereas Derick and Jill aren't even in the same yard. 

 

Yes.  I think that's what you see with Ben & Jessa and Jinger too.  Definitely not will Jill and Derick.  And I think this personal growth is what Jim Bob and Michelle have always tried to prevent.  

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16 hours ago, calimojo said:

Ben is growing on  me.  He doesn't fully walk the party line. And for as young as he is,  it is impressive that he will speak out on somewhat controversial things. 

Perhaps he has an ally in Jeremy.  I think Jessa is still very bonded to the family.  But, I also think that if Ben were to start to move further away from their ideology, particularly if he is able to financially support them,  Jessa would go with it.  Jessa is doing her best to keep the show afloat  and to keep an income from their fame.  I can't really blame her as that is all she knows.  But, sometimes I think somewhere deep inside her she knows much of it is bullshit. 

This is pretty much what I think, too.  Ben seems basically a decent, kind-hearted person, and if he is still limited in his views it's because of his youth and sheltered upbringing. He clearly thinks about things independently and is actively learning - in stark contrast to (most of) the Duggars. Jessa meanwhile is pragmatic and probably aware of the fact that she is the strongest element of the Duggar brand at the moment. I believe there will come a point where she will see the wisdom of distancing from the Duggar herd. I hope it happens before she has too many babies.

I wonder what sort of nudge would be enough to set them on their way to freedom. This is a good-looking little family and I could think of some interesting spin-off scenarios! Say for example if they were offered a show where scholarly Ben, insta-mum Jessa and their cute kids get to travel the country/world and learn about different religions and traditions, would they refuse?

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I've always thought it was very clever of Jessa to marry a teenager. In their world where the man is the headship, having someone more experienced than you is like a lottery, they could be good to you (Jeremy, so far) or they could be bad (D-wreck, so far). With someone younger, though, it's harder for the supposed headship to assert his authority and easier for the supposed subservient partner to have a say in the new family's future. Agency over your own life = happiness. Jessa did the best she could manage with the hand she was dealt and it shows.

I'd argue it's even better to have marriages of equals and to live together before marriage to make it less of a lottery, but eh, I'm a heathen herectic.

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5 hours ago, Foudeb said:

I've always thought it was very clever of Jessa to marry a teenager. In their world where the man is the headship, having someone more experienced than you is like a lottery, they could be good to you (Jeremy, so far) or they could be bad (D-wreck, so far). With someone younger, though, it's harder for the supposed headship to assert his authority and easier for the supposed subservient partner to have a say in the new family's future. Agency over your own life = happiness. Jessa did the best she could manage with the hand she was dealt and it shows.

I'd argue it's even better to have marriages of equals and to live together before marriage to make it less of a lottery, but eh, I'm a heathen herectic.

Of all the couples so far, It seems like Jessa and Ben are more equals than the others. 

 

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With respect to Spurgeon's hair, my guess is, and always has been, that she has kept it that way because it brings in attention (oh look how cuuuuute he is) on Instagram AND it makes him look exactly like her. I don't think it's got much to do with rebelling or rejecting the young Republican cut, she's all about branding and right now the mop is good for her brand.

I would be a huge sum of $ that she'll announce her next pregnancy before Thanksgiving. Just a hunch. I don't see these two stopping anytime soon, particularly since they seem to be a pretty good pair and probably have good sexual chemistry + no birth control. Just inevitable given her fertility.

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17 minutes ago, AtlanticTug said:

With respect to Spurgeon's hair, my guess is, and always has been, that she has kept it that way because it brings in attention (oh look how cuuuuute he is) on Instagram AND it makes him look exactly like her. I don't think it's got much to do with rebelling or rejecting the young Republican cut, she's all about branding and right now the mop is good for her brand.

I don't think it is that, actually. I will give Jessa the benefit of the doubt on that one, I've seen more then one mother in love with her baby's curls. There have been tears over cutting it. Spurgeon would be cute no matter what.

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20 minutes ago, AtlanticTug said:

With respect to Spurgeon's hair, my guess is, and always has been, that she has kept it that way because it brings in attention (oh look how cuuuuute he is) on Instagram AND it makes him look exactly like her. I don't think it's got much to do with rebelling or rejecting the young Republican cut, she's all about branding and right now the mop is good for her brand.

Good point. I have a feeling that once Spurge is past a certain age, he'll get his hair cropped. That or until Jessa has a girl, who can be dressed up to look like a mini Jessa.

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Spurgeon actually did get a haircut not that long ago. He just has naturally curly hair. Do you want her to shave his head? I'd be letting those curls grow if he were my baby, too. They're adorable.

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jessa posted some pictures of Spurge riding a pony...now I don't want to say anything but picture number 3 is telling 

edit the last two or three aren't so maybe I am seeing things 

there I said it 

 

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2 minutes ago, nst said:

jessa posted some pictures of Spurge riding a pony...now I don't want to say anything but picture number 3 is telling 

edit the last two or three aren't so maybe I am seeing things 

there I said it 

 

Yep she looks pregnant... 

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