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Bad Christian Movies


L1o2u3

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So I've seen that there are a few threads for specific movies, but I haven't found a general thread for religious movies so I decided to create one :) 

The title says "bad" Christian movies, but that's of course always subjective. I think there are a lot of Christian movies out there that are worth discussing or that deserve some snark :D Feel free to share reviews and trailers and your experiencing watching these movies. 

I recently watched the Christian version of High School Musical, called Sunday School Musical and even though I expected it to be bad, it turned out to be even worse. If you though that the music in HSM was too simple and cheesy... lullabies are more exciting than the soundtrack of this movie :D and it's also a very cheep production. 

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Here's one of the songs from Sunday School Musical. Please also pay attention to the awesome choreography :D 

 

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Send me to the prayer closet:. The first time he sang "I feel it in my hands," I thought he said 'pants.'

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It's been awhile since I have watched a bad Christian movie. I think the last one Grace Unplugged which was about a year. It was bad, but there are much worse Christian movies. Grace Unplugged had decent cinematography/technical values and the acting wasn't completely horrible.

 

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@lilwriter85 I am always tempted to call those movies good that fulfill the last two criteria just because there are so many worse movies. 

I've got Grace Unplugged here, I still need to watch it. It came out in Germany only a few months ago but it was already on sale together with I'm not Ashamed, God's Not Dead 2 and some other movies because they don't sell very well (or at least it seems like they don't). 

 

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Thanks so much for the Sunday School Musical clip. All three of my kids are competitive dancers and this choreography is fabulous, lol. Older daughter is away at a two week dance intensive in the big city, so I'll have to send her this link. Cue harmonica!

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@lilwriter85 Wait, this isn't the trailer for God's Not Dead 3? :o I haven't seen the first two movies, but from the trailers, the conflicts looked about as serious as this one ^^

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Maybe not the right time of year for it now but Kirk Cameron's Saving Christmas

 

Spoiler

This review of it is hilarious (he's got many more religious movie reviews on his YouTube channel).

 

 

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I watched Miracles from Heaven last night, with Jennifer Garner and while I didn't think the movie was very good overall, I thought she was terrible in it.  Her facial expressions were painful to watch.

I should point out that I watched the last part of it 'cause it was on right before Twin Peaks.  

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On 8/25/2017 at 10:06 AM, L1o2u3 said:

Here's one of the songs from Sunday School Musical. Please also pay attention to the awesome choreography :D 

Where are their chaperones!  Nike indeed.

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@December What the heck did I just see? Woah. This totally looks like satire. 

I am watching Grace Unplugged right now. A 22-year-old playing an 18-year-old - okay (even though she looks more like 25). But some things are really ridiculous. Grace is "rebellious" because she's singing and playing the guitar too enthusiatically in church *gasp* ! And she's not always in the mood for youth group. She truly must be possessed by the devil. 

When her father packs to go and take Grace back home, her mother says something like "what are going to do, tell our adult daughter to come home with you?". Well, of course that's what he does, because he's the powerful patriarch and she has to submit to his authority. 

But fundies probably won't approve of this movie because her parents want her to go to evil college. 

I think the movie would have been better if one hadn't portrayed Grace as the one who has to repent because from how I perceived her, she never wanted to be the next Lady Gaga, she just wanted to play worship songs in her own style and maybe a few innocent and pure secular songs. But because of her controlling father, nothing of that was possible. Only when she returns and repents she is allowed to have her own worship band and to play in her own style. If this story had been told with the father learning to accept that his daughter is not a child anymore and that she has her own opinions, I would have liked it I guess. 

Two side notes: There's Mike from Twilight staring as Quentin in this book (edit: movie, not book) :o 

And the book that he recommends to Grace (Own It. Discover Your Faith in God) actually exists. It's the companion devotional for the movie. 

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I can't find it online right now because I don't remember who specifically made it, but there was a terrible homeschooler-made video called 'The Sword'.  (Not to be confused with Pendragon: The Sword of his Father, which was at least a decent attempt.)  It was basically a badly written and badly acted stage play which someone made the poor decision of putting on DVD and selling, at least temporarily.  The main line I remember from it is "But the Mohammedans!"

 

Not all homeschooler-made films are awful though.  This one is not only entertaining and amusing but also pretty well produced:

 

On 30/08/2017 at 2:26 AM, L1o2u3 said:

I am watching Grace Unplugged right now. A 22-year-old playing an 18-year-old - okay (even though she looks more like 25).

Well A Matter of Faith had an about 28-year old playing an 18-year-old (or at least a college freshman).  Now that's a more snarkworthy film than The Runner from Ravenshead:

 

bonus:

Spoiler

 

 

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On 8/28/2017 at 8:52 AM, December said:

Maybe not the right time of year for it now but Kirk Cameron's Saving Christmas

I wondered if someone would mention this. Urgh, Kirk's face on the poster... I just wanna punch it. 

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One excellent Christian film was "Spitfire Grill," about a young woman who had murdered her stepfather, who had raped her and then beaten her so viciously she lost her unborn child. After five years in prison, she went to a small town in Maine to find herself, working at the eponymous diner. The film's theme is redemption. It was conceived and produced by a Catholic non-profit organization. Strangely enough, there is no overt religiosity in the film--a refreshing change from those recent "Christian" movies that beat viewers over the head with their version of the Bible.

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@CyborgKin Oh I know that guy from the Demo Reel! Doesn't he usually play Mexican drug dealers? 

That movie trailer though. This looks even worse than God's Not Dead. "What, they teach EVOLUTION theory at school?" - yeah, they've been doing it for years :D I would have been very embarassed (as the protagonist seems to be uncomfortable, too) if my dad came to university to explain that evolution is wrong... but I guess in that movie she later repents, apologizes to Daddy and becomes a real creationist. Or does she even leave evil college? 

Edit: The Runner from Ravenshead looks so cute! I need to watch it. Awww.

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@CyborgKin, after seeing the "A Matter of Faith" trailer, my eyes rolled so far in their sockets I could see what's left of my brain. I first learned about evolution in the sixth grade, back in 1963, and the topic was utterly devoid of controversy then (same thing went for my Catholic catechism classes).

Fast-forward to the twenty-first century:  My sister, a grade-school teacher, had a worried parent ask her whether her child would be taught (horrors!) about evolution. We're talking a Connecticut suburban town here. My sister was able to dodge a bullet by saying, no, that wasn't part of the second-grade curriculum.

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Well, we learnt about Creationism and Intelligent Design and Lamark and things like that too. But the biggest focus was on evolution and it was clear to all of us that the others weren't accepted by scientists today. 

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49 minutes ago, L1o2u3 said:

@CyborgKin Oh I know that guy from the Demo Reel! Doesn't he usually play Mexican drug dealers? 

That movie trailer though. This looks even worse than God's Not Dead. "What, they teach EVOLUTION theory at school?" - yeah, they've been doing it for years :D I would have been very embarassed (as the protagonist seems to be uncomfortable, too) if my dad came to university to explain that evolution is wrong... but I guess in that movie she later repents, apologizes to Daddy and becomes a real creationist. Or does she even leave evil college? 

Edit: The Runner from Ravenshead looks so cute! I need to watch it. Awww.

Yeah the Good Christian Family came across as incredibly naive about basically everything.

And yeah you basically nailed the plot.  There was also a super coincidence that the Nice Creationist Christian College Guy who helped get her onto the repentance track turned out to be the same boy who grabbed a coin from her when they were kids - a coincidental encounter which coincidentally caused them both to Get Saved on that day, coincidentally.  Did I mention it was a coincidence?

There was also a sublot involving a bunch of college jock bros taking turns trying to get with Nice Naive Christian Girl, who ended up dumping the one who was still trying to get in her pants (though that wasn't quite explicitly spelled out, though the implication was clear) and apologising for leading him on.  And the film ends with her and Nice Creationist Guy going for some kind of lunch date, I think.

Oh and Nasty Evolutionist Professor inexplicably gave the debate away by randomly not saying anything and by letting Former Creationist Professor Who He Got Fired (and was bitter about it but is now Repenting and Getting Back in the Game) substitute into the debate halfway through.  The debate (which was basically a soapbox :P ) was probably the worse part of it.

On the plus side we got to see Nice Christian Girl crack eggs on a Football Jock Bro's head.  So that was something.

 

The Runner from Ravenshead folks have made another film since, which is also pretty decent and cute, and is more elaborate too:

 

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@CyborgKin, what in the hell was that Defense of New Haven thing about?  It reminded me of an Our Gang/Little Rascals  short although I'd much, much, MUCH rather watch Our Gang

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On 9/2/2017 at 8:01 PM, Hane said:

One excellent Christian film was "Spitfire Grill," about a young woman who had murdered her stepfather, who had raped her and then beaten her so viciously she lost her unborn child. After five years in prison, she went to a small town in Maine to find herself, working at the eponymous diner. The film's theme is redemption. It was conceived and produced by a Catholic non-profit organization. Strangely enough, there is no overt religiosity in the film--a refreshing change from those recent "Christian" movies that beat viewers over the head with their version of the Bible.

I have seen this one a few times. I remember Sundance or IFC used to air a lot years back. I thought it was a good movie and I agree it didn't beat viewers over the head.

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7 hours ago, lilwriter85 said:

I have seen this one a few times. I remember Sundance or IFC used to air a lot years back. I thought it was a good movie and I agree it didn't beat viewers over the head.

The only mention of religion was the time a character mentioned the church couldn't even afford a minister anymore. And this movie was made by Catholics--no jamming Catholicism in sideways.

There was an excellent Broadway musical made from Spitfire Grill, but it came out shortly before 9/11 and was overshadowed by the tragedy. It came to a local community theater a few years ago, and my daughter played Shelby (the Marcia Gay Harden role).

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@CyborgKin oh my gosh, Pendragon! We received it as a gift, and we make so much fun of that movie. "My name is Wenneveria." I always feel a little bad because bless their hearts, they tried, but that movie is just terrible. 

 

@Hane I think I saw Spitfire Grill in high school and I loved it. I had no idea it was a Christian movie. Now I'm all nostalgic for it, thanks for mentioning it. 

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