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A totally accurate and in no way sarcastic Duggar Cheat Sheet


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tabitha2

Forgive if this has been noted The biggest event that occurred with Jason Duggar is when he fell in that orchestra pit at one of their appearances... he literally fell into a deep dark hole landing on his back not being able to move for his injuries. Jill was giving an interview when you suddenly hear a horrifying scream.  As I remember she looks nonplussed for a  split second but goes right on. His "Loving" Family proceeds to pull out their phones to film the rescue and his ma mugs for the camera as he is rolled into the emergency room. As he recovers he must go along with family circus regardless. Anyone interested in seeing event can find clips I imagine.

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Update: All the summaries are now available and you are free to comment. Thank you for your patience! 3/16/2018: Shout out to @singsingsingfor posting her spreadsheets on another thread and to @n

Welcome one and all to the Official VelociRapture Cheat Sheet for the extended Duggar family. These are very basic summaries. I don't watch the shows, so I wrote these using a combination of FJ, socia

Hmm. You said that they use the modesty standards from the bible, but you weren't sure where from. I'm pretty sure there's a part in Genesis where Eve realized she was naked after eating the forbidden

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TuringMachine

Oh right, there was also that one time where Amy admitted on instagram that she's not allowed to have her adult cousins over for fear she'll "influence" them.

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3 hours ago, tabitha2 said:

Forgive if this has been noted The biggest event that occurred with Jason Duggar is when he fell in that orchestra pit at one of their appearances... he literally fell into a deep dark hole landing on his back not being able to move for his injuries. Jill was giving an interview when you suddenly hear a horrifying scream.  As I remember she looks nonplussed for a  split second but goes right on. His "Loving" Family proceeds to pull out their phones to film the rescue and his ma mugs for the camera as he is rolled into the emergency room. As he recovers he must go along with family circus regardless. Anyone interested in seeing event can find clips I imagine.

 

This is horrible! I have heard it referenced before but not in detail like this. Poor kid.

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tabitha2

Yeah... imagine being on your back it the dark being able to move hoping someone will hear you. Stuff of nightmares. 

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FundieFarmer

I've had a few horses in my day and been in a lot of barns. I don't know a lot of people who would tolerate the get up Michelle and Johannah were wearing. Sure, I've come from work and done a few chores around the barn in a work dress and boots, but I wouldn't ride like that. It's just unsafe. There's a lot to get caught on in the saddle, and outside of it too. Even with so-called bombproof school horses, I'd want the proper attire. If I were their instructor, they'd get away with one lesson dressed like that and that would be it. You can be modest without all the extra billowy fabric that can get caught in girths, on nails, in trimmers, get stepped on, or more. For all Michelle's supposed fear of horses, I'd add that to the list.

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onekidanddone

Michelle's eyes are to close together.  I I I I Me Me Me. I gave up trying to count the number of times she said "I" statements. Loathsome self absorbed twit. 

Edited by onekidanddone
removed quote box because...space.
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CorruptionInc.

I am a terrible person because here I am laughing that Austin's mum is called "Roxanne".

You're welcome to shoot me, I'm an ass.

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Bad Wolf

Does she have to put on the red light?

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InTheNameofRufus

May Rufus bless you @VelociRapture with continued wisdom and wit! Thank you for the summaries, they gave me great pleasure when I needed it most. I am impressed by how many FJers were able to add details I had forgotten. Thanks to all for an enjoyable thread! 

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sndral

Like, totally amazing VelociRapture.

Who could forget the 'sex talk' Jim Bob had w/ Josh just before his wedding when Josh opined that sex was just like leggos fitting together. Cringeworthy at the time, but even more so after certain skeletons came out of the duggar closet. Title of the episode was 'A very Duggar wedding.'

Or Josh's decision to spend one of the nights during their honeymoon in the very public space of an aquarium - every virgin bride's dream intro to the marital bed, er, sleeping bag I'm sure.

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6 hours ago, sndral said:

Or Josh's decision to spend one of the nights during their honeymoon in the very public space of an aquarium - every virgin bride's dream intro to the marital bed, er, sleeping bag I'm sure.

I was thinking of this. They lasted all of an hour or two before going back to their condo. The one where Josh insinuated that they'd have so many different bedrooms to choose from every night. Wink wink. 

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tabitha2

Hannie is a striking young girl. Can't figure out who she resembles but she might just be the prettiest Duggar girl of all.

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SapphireSlytherin

Roxanne (yes, I sang that) is a fairly common name in the South. I know four, off the top of my head.

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speller24

So, thanks to the power of illegally downloaded videos (Youtube) I rewatched the episode when Jana starts crying over the Jessa incident. I can't help that the reason she is so shaken up about it was actually not Jessa. She starts to cry when she says we have to forgive our siblings and show them love no matter what. Knowing what we know now, I just feel like it screams "Josh molested 4 of my siblings" to me. They were all forced to forgive him, so I think that's why she was so upset by that story. She probably has some survivors guilt too. She was the only older sister who didn't get hurt. That has to do something to somebody's view of the world.

Anyway... Perfect cheat sheet. I love it!

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cascarones

If there's going to be mentions of Joe's pocket, perhaps Jeremy's should get an honorable mention.

Did we ever figure out if the strange concocted storyline of Jeremy gives his friend Jinger's engagement ring to bring into the city was TLC made up or if he was so nervous he forgot how his pockets worked? He bought it in Arkansas, we saw him packing it in Texas, then for no reason he gave it to someone in a different state he was meeting for a post engagement dinner. I'm sure there's a valid reason in there somewhere, but I prefer to think he came down with a short lived, but very intense case of pocket phobia brought on by nerves.

 

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VBOY9977

I think you should pin this thread like you did with the Bates one so that newbies can see it as soon as they open the forum

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Jinder Roles
On 8/14/2017 at 8:24 AM, speller24 said:

So, thanks to the power of illegally downloaded videos (Youtube) I rewatched the episode when Jana starts crying over the Jessa incident. I can't help that the reason she is so shaken up about it was actually not Jessa. She starts to cry when she says we have to forgive our siblings and show them love no matter what. Knowing what we know now, I just feel like it screams "Josh molested 4 of my siblings" to me. They were all forced to forgive him, so I think that's why she was so upset by that story. She probably has some survivors guilt too. She was the only older sister who didn't get hurt. That has to do something to somebody's view of the world.

Anyway... Perfect cheat sheet. I love it!

Can you please link the YouTube video? I've never been able to find that clip and I keep hearing about it. Sounds interesting 

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VelociRapture

Just updated summaries for:

Jim Bob and Michelle (and how they're totes cool with beating kids)

Josh (lego talk)

Jill (C3 shit)

Jinger (Vuolo and The Baaaaaaaabe With Pocketphobia)

Jason (Duggar and the Orchestra Pit of Doom)

Hannie (and the billowy skirts for horsebackriding) 

Amy (and no cousins coming over)

ETA: Shoutout to all the posters who have added suggestions and tips!

Edited by VelociRapture
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Palimpsest
On 8/10/2017 at 10:59 AM, VelociRapture said:

Big Sandy (I believe this is a major IBLP family conference, but it could be ATI.)

@VelociRapture,  thanks for the changes.  Looking good except - I know I'm being very picky - but the way you wrote this sounds like ATi isn't IBLP.  This is a major IBLP conference.

To clarify:  IBLP is the institution that controls the whole thing.  ATI is just the homeschooling department of IBLP that also runs the conference.

Big Sandy, TX is the ALERT training campus.  ALERT is also IBLP although they pretend it is independent.  

So, Big Sandy is also the place were IBLP holds the largest (most popular) Family Conference every year.  They also have regional Family Conferences at all the other IBLP nests around the US.  IBLP owns a helluva lot of real estate.

To confuse us even more, when they closed down the main IBLP HQ building (but not all property and functions) in Oak Brook, they moved the ATi staff and function down to Big Sandy.  

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HarleyQuinn
On 8/13/2017 at 0:50 PM, tabitha2 said:

Forgive if this has been noted The biggest event that occurred with Jason Duggar is when he fell in that orchestra pit at one of their appearances... he literally fell into a deep dark hole landing on his back not being able to move for his injuries. Jill was giving an interview when you suddenly hear a horrifying scream.  As I remember she looks nonplussed for a  split second but goes right on. His "Loving" Family proceeds to pull out their phones to film the rescue and his ma mugs for the camera as he is rolled into the emergency room. As he recovers he must go along with family circus regardless. Anyone interested in seeing event can find clips I imagine.

Yep. It's on youtube.

 

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VelociRapture
1 hour ago, HarleyQuinn said:

Yep. It's on youtube.

 

@tabitha2So for clarification:

- Jill was sitting at a harp and she was playing with it a bit. She wasn't giving an interview, but they later did a TH with her about what happened (that may have been what you were remembering.) You do hear horrible screams and she looks kind of startled.

- Jill located the hole Jason fell into. She and John (and I believe Jana too) were lowered into the hole because they're all first responders. Jill and John immobilized/stabilized his neck until EMTs arrived.

- I didn't see Michelle "mugging" for the cameras. There were shots of her smiling a bit when they wheeled Jason down a hallway, but for the most part she seemed pretty focused on Jason and trying to keep him calm.

- Some of the other family members were filming it, according to Michelle. Not sure who or for what reason. I think Fuckface was shown taping Michelle and Jason as they were going down that hallway. 

@PalimpsestI'll see about editing that part. Thanks!

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tabitha2

Thank you for clarifying :) 

Yes, I was remembering the talking head segment I guess.   It has been a long time now but trying to be fair and accurate even to Duggars is only right. My bad.  I just remember Michelle got shit on so much here for smiling.  Maybe getting hysterical would have been more helpful and appropriate to some FJ'ers back then ;) 

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CorruptionInc.

One thing I will give Michelle is that when something serious is happening she doesn't use an alarming tone of voice. 

My mum was a midwife and she is the same, especially during births. A friend of mine went in to labour on her rug in front of me at 38 weeks. Called my mum because there was no way baby was going to wait (27 minute labour) and the first thing she says to me on the phone (in her calm voice): "don't you dare swear, and keep your voice low as not to panic the mum."

She's right, because I don't think my friend and her baby would've appreciated me going "holy mother of god !#%^$#&@#$&#%@$^@$^#^[email protected]#$^@$^@$^" while trying to help her. 

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