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Seewalds 24 - Bought the House from Grandma


choralcrusader8613

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The people who I consider a part of my family are not necessarily the same people that I share DNA with.  It all depends on a very complex set of circumstances.  Each person has to chose who they want to be in their core group of support. 

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9 hours ago, Nikedagain? said:

I must say, I'm totally intrigued by 3 year old Roman and his skinny jeans! 

With a name like Roman how can you not bow down to those skinny Jeans?

7 hours ago, HumbleJillyMuffin said:

Piggly Wiggly

I can't get over the fact that America has a grocery store called the Piggly Wiggly.....I heard it in a movie with Reece Witherspoon and thought it was a joke.....until I found out it existed.

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I think spending the last eight years with the Professor learning everything she went through with the illnesses of her husband, mother, sister and how to deal with the aftermath and what she went through during I will have a strong way on how to go about dealing with care takers, money situations, funerals and probates.  It was really great teaching. 

I needed to add why I felt what I felt 

carry on 

so every time jessa posts a toy she has to tell us that it was buy used and saved the difference - this last time she actually admitted they cleaned out a storage house 

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I have to say re: Jessa enjoying motherhood I agree and disagree. There is a lot of work that goes into parenthood. I do think that Jessa may really enjoy motherhood, she does appear to have help when needed living so close to family.  I enjoy motherhood (to the extent that yes  I go crazy some days, and I'm tired, I know I would greatly benefit from help now and then as I live near no help and have no babysitters) I have 3 under 3, it looks as if Jessa might also have 3 under 3. Motherhood becomes more enjoyable and manageable with help. I do worry though that with living near help, she may have 5 under 5 or 6 under 6 and then it will start to become more overwhelming parenting without that help and it may become more constant and difficult to to fully parent.

she may find herself at her parents home more often, or hopefully not following suit of letting the older care for the younger. I know there are some who don't want kids, and do best not having them, some do not have that calling. It looks like she's a devoted mom with the benefit of help when needed to me, allowing her to enjoy it more. Some women have that calling and are devoted to being a mom. I just hope she doesn't have so many that it starts to get ugly .

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11 hours ago, SassyPants said:

Yep...out of 19 kids, there will be one or more that look around and realize that they can be faithful, good, decent JESUS loving people and hold jobs, believe in education, sports, friends, frontal hugs and dating!!!!

That to me was one of the first things that woke me up as a young adult to the fact that fundie-ism wasn't really "all that"-- when I looked around and realized that the happiest people who really seemed to love Jesus the most weren't fundie at all... as a matter of fact, they wore pants, had a TV, wore makeup, dated, and some of them even *gasp* went to public school! The fundies, on the other hand, by and large spent so much time measuring each other by whether or not their personal standards matched closely enough to be considered "godly".

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I was just thinking about this, watching that thing they rigged up for Spurgeon with the balls and the racetrack. It was really cute, and he seems like a bright little guy. He was obviously having a lot of fun, and they seem to take so much joy in him (and Henry), which is wonderful. I just wonder if they'll be able to do that for their 4th, 5th, 6th, etc. child.

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18 hours ago, feministxtian said:

I am an only...and I resent it. When I was taking care of my mother, there was nobody to share the load with. Now there's nobody to share the memories with. That's why I knew I wanted more than one. I really wish I'd had a sibling that lived. But, that's now neither here nor there...but that's just my opinion. 

I was one of four. The two brothers both died sixteen years ago. The sister up and moved to Hawaii less than a week after informing me, which is 4000 miles away. Our mother is 91 and in a nursing home. There is no one to share the load with, sis didn't share the load before she moved. Having siblings guarantees nothing later in life.

My child is an only and is blessed. Non-blood related folks can be more family than blood, I thank God for those who love and support me that don't share DNA.

 

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1 minute ago, SilverBeach said:

I was one of four. The two brothers both died sixteen years ago. The sister up and moved to Hawaii less than a week after informing me, which is 4000 miles away. Our mother is 91 and in a nursing home. There is no one to share the load with, sis didn't share the load before she moved. Having siblings guarantees nothing later in life.

My child is an only and is blessed. Non-blood related folks can be more family than blood, I thank God for those who love and support me that don't share DNA.

 

I'm so sorry to hear about your brothers passing, and your sister moving away. I agree that even having more siblings doesn't guarantee anything. This is something I worry about and want my kids to be close growing up and as adults because I won't be here one day I can only do my best to try to instill a bond. There are so many different dynamics at play within a family. Sometimes there are favorites, sometimes there is resentment. My husband was the only boy with 3 sisters so his mom spent a lot more time with them  even to this day. I have one brother who speaks more to my parents than to me.

My husband has a best friend who became a brother since he was a teenager. Some people become family and that is so beautiful!

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1 hour ago, shock928 said:

I have to say re: Jessa enjoying motherhood I agree and disagree. There is a lot of work that goes into parenthood. I do think that Jessa may really enjoy motherhood, she does appear to have help when needed living so close to family.  I enjoy motherhood (to the extent that yes  I go crazy some days, and I'm tired, I know I would greatly benefit from help now and then as I live near no help and have no babysitters) I have 3 under 3, it looks as if Jessa might also have 3 under 3. Motherhood becomes more enjoyable and manageable with help. I do worry though that with living near help, she may have 5 under 5 or 6 under 6 and then it will start to become more overwhelming parenting without that help and it may become more constant and difficult to to fully parent.

she may find herself at her parents home more often, or hopefully not following suit of letting the older care for the younger. I know there are some who don't want kids, and do best not having them, some do not have that calling. It looks like she's a devoted mom with the benefit of help when needed to me, allowing her to enjoy it more. Some women have that calling and are devoted to being a mom. I just hope she doesn't have so many that it starts to get ugly .

Question about this---

What if they keep having boys?  Michelle could pass Joy to Jill, etc, because she had all those girls. Josh and JD (with Jana) and then her group of 2nd mothers.  Jill. Jessa. Jinger.  Break. Joy.  What do they do letting the kids raise each other if they keep having boys? Isn't this a patriarchal problem? 

Anna had Mack.  She can turn around and raise Meredith and the as yet not born boy yet.  (Although Anna seems to be very hands on.) What happens if Jill and Jessa just have boys?  I only have sons (and they are not raising each other. LOL)  But, that is my question. How does just having boys work? They can't 'buddy system'

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We always idealize what we don't have. All siblings are not close, all families are not functional, all intimate relationships are not healthy and fulfilling. It's important, for peace of mind, to embrace the advantages of whatever your status is in life, because there are some. I say this as a 62 year old woman who has been wildly unhappy at times because I wasn't married, etc. No more. My situation ain't perfect but it's mine and I can choose to be content within it, or not.

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I'm an only and also worry about taking care of my parents when they get older. My dad's dad had a stroke 9 years ago and has lived with one of his daughters ever since then. There are 4 children who share the load (with the daughters doing the bulk of the work) and there are still serious stresses on the relationships and finances of my dad and his siblings. My fiancee is one of 4 and his siblings have a very strong and sweet bond. I hope we can be close to them one day for the sake of an extended family, but then I worry about taking care of my parents from so far away, or what happens when his parents get old (already happening).

In happier news, this looks like an incredibly fun toy.

 

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I loved yard sales for stuff for my kids when they were little. So many Discovery toys, books, games....

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Ben's been outspoken against racism for a long time (in whatever sense that means to him - I doubt he has a super nuanced grasp of all the history and subtleties of racism in the U.S.). It's clearly something he feels strongly about. I would not be at all surprised if he didn't vote for Trump. He may have voted for Evan McMullin, or for some fringe Christian candidate.

I know a lot of people have this idea that Ben is dumb as a box of bricks, but I don't think so. He's not very charismatic and he's not a great communicator, but he clearly gives a lot of thought to things, questions the status quo, and has shown a willingness and tendency for independent thought.

Does that make him some kind of enlightened genius who's on the verge of embracing a moderate or even liberal ideology? Definitely not! But it does give me more hope for him than for, say, Derick Dillard, a typical fundie drone with no qualms about selling his soul to whatever's labeling itself 'Republican', and whose goal in life seems to be to emulate Jim Bob Duggar, just without any of the charm or business acumen.

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Ben's been outspoken against racism for a long time (in whatever sense that means to him - I doubt he has a super nuanced grasp of all the history and subtleties of racism in the U.S.). It's clearly something he feels strongly about. I would not be at all surprised if he didn't vote for Trump. He may have voted for Evan McMullin, or for some fringe Christian candidate.

I know a lot of people have this idea that Ben is dumb as a box of bricks, but I don't think so. He's not very charismatic and he's not a great communicator, but he clearly gives a lot of thought to things, questions the status quo, and has shown a willingness and tendency for independent thought.

Does that make him some kind of enlightened genius who's on the verge of embracing a moderate or even liberal ideology? Definitely not! But it does give me more hope for him than for, say, Derick Dillard, a typical fundie drone with no qualms about selling his soul to whatever's labeling itself 'Republican', and whose goal in life seems to be to emulate Jim Bob Duggar, just without any of the charm or business acumen.

He also seems to me to be a more

Equal partner in his marriage when it comes to being engaged with his kids. Maybe this is a glimmer of hope.

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I agree that Ben probably doesn't have a nuanced understanding of the history of racism in this country, but he seems much more willing to learn than others, especially Derick. I don't expect him to become liberal, or moderate, or anything either. 

I would love for them to get their heads out of their butts with their holocaust comparisons though.

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That xylophone ball ramp toy does look fun.

Jessa in the background saying "Yay Spurge, you're doing so good"- that name still sounds terrible.

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God bless you Ben, I hope Gary Johnson appreciated your vote.  (Who else is there, idk, some niche and Christian local candidate, maybe).

Did Evan Mcmullin run in Arkansas? 

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2 hours ago, JoiseyGoil said:

Has anyone seen this from Ben's twitter? Is this a glimmer of hope?

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I never thought that of all the Duggar spawn Ben would be the only one that's made me think  "well that's not a 100% terrible opinion" over the past few years.

 

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He could have voted for Evan McMullin. Who would have thought that Ben Seewald would be the most enlightened of the Duggar husbands (I use that term very loosely- the bar isn't exactly set very high over there). If he could just get his wife to not compare abortion to the holocaust anymore...

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22 minutes ago, seraaa said:

Did Evan Mcmullin run in Arkansas? 

Yes, McMullin was on the ballot in Arkansas.

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Maybe Ben has a distaste for the anti-poor and anti-minority sentiment that is permeating through the Republican Party and is especially elevated by Donald Trump. Most fundies proclaimed during the election season that a vote for a third-party was a vote for Hillary so Trump would be considered the only option, so I would say him not voting for Trump is a relatively large step for a fundie. Even Ben's own family voted Trump. I wonder how Jessa voted?

I doubt Ben would make a drastic change in his views on LGBT rights and abortion, but I think it's a step for him to recognize that Trump is pure evil.

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I seams there may actually be a G-d that meddles with our lives.  It seams Spud was gifted with looks and inelegance in exchange for the burden of his name.

 

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