Dillards 35: Waiting on People Magazine

[cascarones]

1 hour ago, PainfullyAware said:

Maybe I'm ambidextrous but most things I can only do well with one hand. Probably quite a few lefties do this to fit in a right handed world?

Same, to the point where I do my eye makeup for each eye with the corresponding hand. I write with my left, but most hand sports and scissors I'm right dominant, though it's not as if the schools had baseball gloves for your right hand so you could catch with it and throw with your left. I suppose the exception there is I crochet and embroider with my left. I was quite fascinated at college to see a left handed desk for the first time, then bummed because they were always right in the front row for big lectures. 

[Shadoewolf]

I have to wonder if People isn't interested in doing a story because of the backlash from Jill's first birth, where medical professionals and fans alike all said she took unnecessary risks. If  her labor really was 40 hours and the result was complications for her or Sam due to more stupidity, would People really want to publish it? 

Likewise for Jill. She (rightfully) got dragged over the coals for her stupid decisions with Izzy's birth. If her bad choices ended badly for her or Sam or both, is she really going to admit that? And how would that look to NARM, in terms of her ability to practice, even as an assistant? With her training she supposedly should know better. 

So maybe thats why the silence?

[justoneoftwo]

2 minutes ago, Shadoewolf said:

I have to wonder if People isn't interested in doing a story because of the backlash from Jill's first birth, where medical professionals and fans alike all said she took unnecessary risks. If  her labor really was 40 hours and the result was complications for her or Sam due to more stupidity, would People really want to publish it? 

Likewise for Jill. She (rightfully) got dragged over the coals for her stupid decisions with Izzy's birth. If her bad choices ended badly for her or Sam or both, is she really going to admit that? And how would that look to NARM, in terms of her ability to practice, even as an assistant? With her training she supposedly should know better. 

So maybe thats why the silence?

People would want to report it, it would make for drama and sales.  She might not want to admit it.  She also might not admit it to herself.

[MadeItOut]

8 hours ago, Ali said:

I think it is a bit much to be analyzing which direction she is holding the baby. Maybe she prefers holding a baby that direction? If she is breastfeeding, she could have just finished feeding him on that side. 

Was just thinking the same - really sorry I brought it up now! It wasn't an analysis to begin with, just a moment of genuine 'EH?!' - seems it just is a difference of cultures.

Can't tell you how much it makes my heart sing that there are evidently some places in the world where midwives, HVs, doctors et al  DON'T rake you over the coals as the world's evilest, most awful, cruel, unattached mother on the planet if you don't hold and carry baby head-to-heart at all times. Gives some hope at least...

[Daisy0322]

@ItsMeY'all I use to switch back and forth too! It took me a long time to develop fine motor but now I can use both hands really well. I have preferences though like when I golf, I use a driver right handed but I putt lefty. I bowl left handed too. I write right handed but only because it's more convenient and when I eat I use utensils im right handed and if I eat with my hands it's the left. I'm not diagnosing but there's a good chance she's ambidextrous.

[melon]

My son was a nail biter.When he was 4 he did almost everything with his left hand.Because of the nail biting,he had a painful abcess.I had to take him to the dr.so the dr,could lance it and he had antibiotics.It was at this time,he started preK( 4 year old pre k).He said ,Mama,  when I go to school,I will write with my right hand,so it won't hurt.His teacher said he'd reach for the pencil with his left hand ,then put it in his right hand.He does bowl left handed.When he played baseball,he could bat either way,he had a right handed glove ,cause he threw the ball with his left hand.My youngest son also started out left handed ,when he was small,but he began doing everything with his right hand,everything ,except writing,he always wrote with his left hand,he tried and tried writing with his right hand,but just couldn't.

 

[SassyPants]

10 days of antibiotics is often times a medical treatment plan, depending on an infant's diagnosis. Based on SSD's initial picture, and the fact that Jill was GBS + in the past, and she had another purported long labor, it all makes sense to me. I've seen this exact scenario 100's of times.

[Lurker]

@ItsMeY'all   Has your niece been evaluated by a neurologist?   My son was in an early intervention program and they were really big on the ability to use a scissors.   My response was who hands a 23 month old scissors but this was one of the list of things to justify occupational therapy along with speech in a language based special needs school.

[Gobsmacked]

58 minutes ago, MadeItOut said:

Was just thinking the same - really sorry I brought it up now! It wasn't an analysis to begin with, just a moment of genuine 'EH?!' - seems it just is a difference of cultures.

Can't tell you how much it makes my heart sing that there are evidently some places in the world where midwives, HVs, doctors et al  DON'T rake you over the coals as the world's evilest, most awful, cruel, unattached mother on the planet if you don't hold and carry baby head-to-heart at all times. Gives some hope at least...

I have 2. I have honestly never heard of this before. I always held them in my right arm and fed them their bottles with my left hand. I'm right handed normally but my left hand is quite useful!  Could I ask which country you are from?

[Daisy0322]

3 minutes ago, Gobsmacked said:

I have 2. I have honestly never heard of this before. I always held them in my right arm and fed them their bottles with my left hand. I'm right handed normally but my left hand is quite useful!  Could I ask which country you are from?

I've never heard of it being a must just used as a tool to help calm them down. I mean there are tons of ways to hold a baby.

[MadeItOut]

3 hours ago, Gobsmacked said:

I have 2. I have honestly never heard of this before. I always held them in my right arm and fed them their bottles with my left hand. I'm right handed normally but my left hand is quite useful!  Could I ask which country you are from?

Sure. UK originally (& all my obs/gynae history was there. Kids are no longer a possibility).

It was definitely prevalent when we were small through to specific health and childcare studies. I still have mid 80s OU material and various manuals (Miriam Stoppard etc - new baby care 1982 for one) that discuss to various lengths. It was just so normal - & tied up in that thing of 'there is no NVQ2 in childcare as that covers basic instinct'.

Later, I did believe the draconic thing was specific to one area and one team, but a bunch of us who all met at antenatal (very varying SE profiles), but by this point were onto subsequent births got together and complained to the NHS about it. Each of their conduct was upheld, though we were told that the HV was to be given a verbal warning over inappropriate threats of social service involvement to coerce cooperation.

At that point we were shocked and went back to everyone we knew and could trust. In every case except one, there was at least a couple of generations who had similar all over the country. The isolated case, her mother had worked when she was little (one of those 'I don't wasn't a child, but I'll have one for you' situations) and didn't remember holding her much at all as they'd had a nanny.

It really does sound like at least it's less of/not a thing anymore, which is awesome, because nobody orienting themselves into parenthood should be left in a position to have to field that.

 

 

[ItsMeY'all]

4 hours ago, Lurker said:

@ItsMeY'all   Has your niece been evaluated by a neurologist?   My son was in an early intervention program and they were really big on the ability to use a scissors.   My response was who hands a 23 month old scissors but this was one of the list of things to justify occupational therapy along with speech in a language based special needs school.

I guess if there were other issues at 23 months I might start looking at stuff (scissors at 23 months?!?) but, eh... Although I have seen early intervention work wonders! 

No, mom is a early child development specialist and told my sister the evaluators were idiots because my niece was still too young for them to worry since everything else is fine. She is ahead in everything else, social development is normal, physical seems fine aside from not being able to use scissors. Oh, and the evaluator was concerned that she wasn't yet using her dominant hand to work a puzzle. I've watched her work more puzzles than I can count and she uses her left hand for the left side and right hand for the right. The dexterity isn't at all an issue, they just want her to pick a hand. What is it that is supposedly the magic age where they start to worry about this stuff? Second grade or so? She is 3.5.  Oh, and they got her a leftie pair of scissors a few weeks ago and she does great with them in addition to  having no issues writing her name and coloring within the lines with her right hand.  Go figure. 

What is it with the scissor obsession?!? Scissors were what almost kept me from kindergarten and then from getting bumped up to first grade. Everyone placed sooooo much importance on their use and I noticed how worried my mom was and finally learned to use them right handed.  I wasn't great, but enough to pass their tests. In second grade the girl sitting next to me was a leftie and I borrowed her scissors one day, used them in my left hand and it was so easy and natural that I haven't used my right hand since then. My right hand is for writing (except for math which is left) golfing, using a mouse, and so on. Bowling, eating, scissors, and a few other things are for my left hand. Not ambidextrous since I can't use both hands for each task, but the dexterity and preferences are there for both hands. Both of my grandfathers were natural lefties forced to learn to use their right hands. They could do incredible things. One was an accountant and could be entering stuff in one calculator with his right hand while entering those totals into another calculator with his left hand at the same time. It was crazy to watch!

My youngest sister and I both use different hands for different tasks so if there is any genetic link to this kind of usage it would be a possibility for our niece. I have a niece on my husband's side that plays soccer and basketball as a leftie. Since she always wrote as a rightie that is how she was first taught many sports. Led us to believe she had zero athletic ability. One year she ended up with a leftie coach and suddenly she blossomed and is a straight up star! Seriously incredible. I really do wonder how often people aren't 100% R or L and if they get docked for this in their early education?

[JuicyDuggar]

42 minutes ago, ItsMeY'all said:

What is it with the scissor obsession?!? 

I was curious too since the elementary school I work with put a big emphasis on it. Here's what I got from a quick Google (retrieved from this blog that had linked the following quote from an occupational therapist's no longer active website):

Quote

A child who is following the appropriate developmental track should start cutting at the age of 2 years old. There are many reasons for this:

Cutting allows a child to build up the tiny muscles in the palm of their hand with the continuous open and close of the hand. These muscles are also used for writing, painting, and gripping things like a toothbrush, spoon or fork, and even pulling up pants.

Cutting enhances eye-hand coordination (using vision, processing what is seen, and moving the  hand simultaneously to accomplish a task). Other examples of eye-hand coordination: catching/throwing a ball, scooping food with a spoon, and zipping a coat.

Cutting encourages your child to use bilateral coordination (using both sides of the body at the same time while each hand is performing its own task). For example, when cutting a circle, a child must hold the paper with one hand (and continuously turn it) while the other hand is opening and closing the scissors and moving forward to cut. Other examples: zipping up a coat or pants, washing dishes, and opening an envelope.

More power to anyone who can work with both hands. I can't figure out the importance of picking a dominant hand. I say use whatever hand you're comfortable with!

[ItsMeY'all]

7 minutes ago, JuicyDuggar said:

I was curious too since the elementary school I work with put a big emphasis on it. Here's what I got from a quick Google .....

Makes sense. I'm sure mom has explained this to me before but being the stubborn child I am I must not have listened. I guess that is part of why mom wasn't stressed about her granddaughter. She can do all of the fine motor, bilateral coordination activities, and hand eye stuff with no issues. She just couldn't use rightie scissors. Who knew that one simple task could test so much. Fascinating.

[LacyMay]

15 hours ago, formerpastorswife said:

 Realizing the entire way you were raised was wrong is a monumental breakthrough that takes a VERY long, slow process to arrive at. And once the realization is reached internally, it can take another long while (and often, something happening in your outer life to "push you over the edge") to actually gather up the courage to take a public stand against it.

Thank you for your honesty and bravery and so succinctly saying what I've been wanting to. 

I can't imagine having to come to the conclusion that the things I had believed for my entire life  (all 30 years of it were wrong) let alone having to grapple with it in the public eye. I imagine it must be even harder for some of the older Duggars who likely feel their beliefs have blessed them in some way (the show, the honeymoons etc) 

There were parts of my childhood and how I was raised that I still have a hard time admitting shouldn't have happened and that's without them having any perceived positive impact. 

 

[nastyhobbitses]

9 hours ago, Lurker said:

@ItsMeY'all   Has your niece been evaluated by a neurologist?   My son was in an early intervention program and they were really big on the ability to use a scissors.   My response was who hands a 23 month old scissors but this was one of the list of things to justify occupational therapy along with speech in a language based special needs school.

I still can't use scissors correctly and I'm 25. I'm not in any occupation that requires me to be good at using them, and I can still make a mean paper snowflake even though I don't hold the scissors right, so I figure it's probably fine if someone's just not good at using scissors and nothing else is wrong.

[aprilx]

Did anyone notice cathys tweet last night in reply to someone asking after Samuel and Jill "both are fine! Thank you!" Good News I guess.

[WhatWouldJohnCrichtonDo?]

I consider myself left-handed, but I use my right hand for lots of things, too. I use my left hand for writing, cutting with scissors, using my phone (I'm typing this with my left middle finger), eating, cutting with sharp knives, and probably most things. I use my right hand for cutting with scissors, things I learned from right-handed mentors (sewing, stirring in cooking), knitting, and cleaning (especially icky cleaning tasks). 

Me using scissors with my left hand was how my mom and kindergarten teacher decided I was probably left dominant. I used my little-kid lefty scissors for years, because the larger scissors were always right handed. I got tired of using little scissors, so at around the age of 20, I learned how to cut right-handed. Then when I was around 30, I finally got some good lefty scissors and remastered cutting with my left. I keep both types of scissors in one spot and I don't have to worry about my husband borrowing any. He still can't seem to tell left-handed scissors from right-handed ones, even though I've shown him how to tell.

Both of our kids are righties, but I watched them both closely as they grew and tried to let them use what works best for them. It's cool to hear all these stories of people's hand dominance! I guess that's why this turned into a wall of text. 

[Jilli]

I'm similar to that, I consider myself left handed. I write, eat, cut with scissors all with my left hand. I grew up with right handed parents though, and hated left gadgets that basically felt weird so I learned how to open a can, use a mouse, etc. with my right. I hate either 'handed' notebooks and have gone to using a legal pad for most things involving notes that a post it won't cover.

[WhatWouldJohnCrichtonDo?]

8 minutes ago, Jilli said:

I hate either 'handed' notebooks and have gone to using a legal pad for most things involving notes that a post it won't cover.

I agree. I'll use a spiral notebook sometimes, but I prefer a legal pad or loose notebook paper on a clipboard. 

I also realized that if I'm cutting food on my plate, I use the knife in my right hand, whether it's a butter knife or a steak knife. If I'm cutting food on a cutting board with a kitchen knife, I use my left hand. Brains are weird.

[Pukingpearl]

I've never heard this heart/head thing and I have two toddlers. It does sound nice, but if you're the one actually holding the newborn 15 hours a day or so, your arms get tired and there's lots of shifting going on. I'm a strong lefty so I'm sure this has something to do with the glares I sometimes received from old ladies?

This reminds me of the whole Chrissy Teigen baby holding photo. I can't stand Jill, but her baby holding has nothing to do with it. 

[Knight of Ni]

I've used right handed scissors with my left hand my entire life. The one time I saw left handed scissors in school they were rusted shut. I wonder if using left handed scissors would make it easier now. 

[wandering woman]

Don't.want.to.hear.more.labor.and.delivery.stories.

[WhoompThereItIs]

As a southpaw, I actually preferred the right-handed desks because I could lean on my right arm while writing. The only thing I hate about being left-handed is this:

[Karma]

I've never heard of the head/hand thing and I've got a 20 yo and 17yo.  By contrast, my chiropractor stressed the importance of swapping them over to help minimise my back and shoulder pain.

DH, DD and I are right handed, but DS was nearly 4 I think before he showed a strong preference for writing/cutting etc with his left hand.  He uses his mouse, and played sport with his right hand, but left dominates for other things.