TAM 2: So Much WTFery

[Shoobydoo]

4 hours ago, Carm_88 said:

When I was in grade 9, we had a combined Junior High girls health class, we had a substitute teacher come in one day and we happened to be on sex ed. Never have I see a man stumble more over the word penis then this guy did in front of us. The sad fact is that most teachers barely want to deal with penis in vagina sex. They certainly don't want to talk about anal sex! 

Even within the same school system it can vary a lot. There were several teachers at my high school who taught sex ed. The one my sister had told them that premarital sex causes causes cancer. Luckily, I got the good teacher. He did things like correctly demonstrate how to use a condom (no bananas, though, he just drew little cartoon mushrooms on the whiteboard  ), and DIDN'T force us to look at the binder full of horrifying STD photos. There was also an anonymous Q&A, where someone did as about anal sex.  Note that all that was required by the state, I believe, was to explain how pregnancy work and tell us that sex is bad.

Even with all this extra info, it was really inadequate. He was never able to explain how hormonal birth control actually worked, and I'm pretty certain most of what I knew about female anatomy at the time came from outside the school system.  I would support a magazine aimed at teens that's nothing BUT accurate information about sexual and bodily health (aimed at both boys and girls alike), with a healthy questions to the editor section every month. Pipe dreams, I know, but can you imagine how TAM would explode? She might launch into orbit. 

[BlackSheep]

Normally I hang out in the Lori Alexander threads. She needs to up her game because TAM is surely taking away some of her attention and clicks.

[JermajestyDuggar]

52 minutes ago, BlackSheep said:

Normally I hang out in the Lori Alexander threads. She needs to up her game because TAM is surely taking away some of her attention and clicks.

Definitely. Neatly hand written notes of hate are nothing compared to a video of a fundie witch sacrificing a magazine in the backyard. 

[JillyO]

15 hours ago, Shoobydoo said:

Even with all this extra info, it was really inadequate. He was never able to explain how hormonal birth control actually worked, and I'm pretty certain most of what I knew about female anatomy at the time came from outside the school system.  I would support a magazine aimed at teens that's nothing BUT accurate information about sexual and bodily health (aimed at both boys and girls alike), with a healthy questions to the editor section every month. Pipe dreams, I know, but can you imagine how TAM would explode? She might launch into orbit. 

We have such a magazine in Germany. It's called Bravo, and has been around since 1956. It isn't ALL love/sex/health/body advice, but much of it is. The rest is typical teen stuff, mostly music and TV IIRC. I received good sex ed both in school and at home, but I still learned SO MUCH from Bravo. As did pretty much all of my friends. I'm sad American teens don't have anything like it.

The English Wikipedia article has some basic information if anyone is interested: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bravo_(magazine)

 

[ladyamylynn]

On 7/17/2017 at 2:28 PM, Rachel333 said:

 a sex act that most women find painful and unpleasant 

Maybe more women would enjoy anal if they knew proper technique? 

[Rachel333]

1 hour ago, ladyamylynn said:

Maybe more women would enjoy anal if they knew proper technique? 

Maybe. It's also okay if they just don't want to do it!

Nothing wrong with doing it if you want to, but I hate, hate, hate the trend where women are now expected to have anal sex, which, again, doesn't provide pleasure to most women.

I also hate it when people say that women who don't enjoy it just aren't doing it right. If it's painful and unpleasant women shouldn't feel any obligation to try it again! If some women enjoy it, great, but it's really wrong of them to say that their experience is more important than the majority of women who don't enjoy it. Women should not be pressured into sex acts they don't want to do, period.

With anal in particular a lot of men do actually get off on the knowledge that it's painful for women. Porn with anal often involves showing that the woman is in pain. There's even a subreddit called "painal." I've seen so many comments where men just laugh about this and take it for granted that seeing women in pain is a turn-on for men. It's really disgusting.

If you couldn't tell, this is a bit of a pet peeve of mine.  I do really have a problem with an article aimed at teen girls telling them how to do anal without discussing these issues. There's a comment or two saying it's okay not to do anal and mentioning enthusiastic consent, but the article portrays it in purely a positive light and even gives a guide on how to ask for anal without discussing issues of coercion and why you might not want to try anal.

I also don't appreciate being called a "vagina owner" (that's such an awkward phrase) but that's another issue.

Edited July 19, 2017 by Rachel333

[milkteeth]

On 7/17/2017 at 9:52 AM, FundieFarmer said:

I don't even know where to start with this family, but here's a rundown:

• Dad's a malpractice suit waiting to happen; a blog post he wrote tells people how to cover bruises from corporal punishment
• TAM herself doesn't know what part of the world she hates more 
• Her children rant with both mom and dad
• Anti-abortion, pro-life (but, you know, not any kind of enjoyable life), anti-gays, blah blah blah

Carrying on from here:

 

I generally try to be an empathetic person who truly believes that no one, no matter how vile, deserves physical abuse. However, I have to admit that there is also a small part of me that hopes their kids learn these lessons well, and in a few decades apply them for hiding bruises from people investigating elder abuse.

Actually, I really just hope their kids have positive people in their lives that will help them to grow up into better people and never speak to psycho Mommy and Daddy dearest ever again.

[ladyamylynn]

@Rachel333

I get it. I truly do, I have been kicking around the more rad-fem circles for many years. The whole sex-positivity thing always comes back to accepting how things are and minimizing harm. Like, I don't necessarily agree with the porn industry on an intellectual level, but it exists and should be regulated. Anal sex is something that a lot of people want to try (putting aside the reasons why that might be) so I'm all for young people being informed at least about how to have a good experience.

[Rachel333]

2 minutes ago, ladyamylynn said:

@Rachel333

I get it. I truly do, I have been kicking around the more rad-fem circles for many years. The whole sex-positivity thing always comes back to accepting how things are and minimizing harm. Like, I don't necessarily agree with the porn industry on an intellectual level, but it exists and should be regulated. Anal sex is something that a lot of people want to try (putting aside the reasons why that might be) so I'm all for young people being informed at least about how to have a good experience.

Sure, and I get that, but like I just edited my previous comment to add, I really have an issue with them portraying just one side of the discussion.

[milkteeth]

8 minutes ago, ladyamylynn said:

@Rachel333

I get it. I truly do, I have been kicking around the more rad-fem circles for many years. The whole sex-positivity thing always comes back to accepting how things are and minimizing harm. Like, I don't necessarily agree with the porn industry on an intellectual level, but it exists and should be regulated. Anal sex is something that a lot of people want to try (putting aside the reasons why that might be) so I'm all for young people being informed at least about how to have a good experience.

I think if anything giving people the information on how to have safe, non-painful anal sex is taking away power from chuds who enjoy it because it causes their partners pain. There is so much ignorance and shame about anal sex and that's how these assholes can get away with hurting and coercing their sexual partners.

 

32 minutes ago, Rachel333 said:

I also don't appreciate being called a "vagina owner" (that's such an awkward phrase) but that's another issue.

I agree that it's sort of awkward phrasing, but I think it's good that Teen Vogue is being trans-inclusive since not all women have vaginas but they might want to experiment with anal sex as well.

[JermajestyDuggar]

Without this article, a conversation about focusing solely on pleasing men and men laughing off the pain of anal sex would never have come up. 

Yet here's TAM wanting to take this article away completely. I have no problem critiquing sex Ed for teens. I think it's a good thing. But TAM wants to keep teens completely ignorant and I'm not ok with that at all. 

Edited July 20, 2017 by JermajestyDuggar

[Chocolatedefrauded]

Speaking of bad sex ed, try having a brand new teacher who graduated from Bob Jones University. First thing he said was that he was a virgin & believed in no sex before marriage. We all snickered! He had worse acne than we did & his face stayed bright red for the whole section on sex. Lots of emphasis on STDs. Very negative on abortion & birth control.

the previous teacher retired the year before. I think she had heard it all In 25 years of teaching. At least we would not make BJ jokes with her!

i think the best way to handle it is matter of fact, no big deal, everyone has these questions.

[Georgiana]

5 hours ago, milkteeth said:

I agree that it's sort of awkward phrasing, but I think it's good that Teen Vogue is being trans-inclusive since not all women have vaginas but they might want to experiment with anal sex as well.

While their motives may have been good, they needed to find a better way to do it because language like that is deeply dehumanizing. This was a mistake, and good motives or no, they don't deserve a pass for this, IMO.  I give them props for the attempt, but a 0/10 for the execution. 

Advocacy is not for the faint of heart.  It's easy to get carried away with your ideals and in the process steamroll over other marginalized groups. Maybe a better solution would have been allowing readers to choose their section based upon whether they have a vagina or not. Or use phrases like "if you have a vagina".

"Vagina owner" is almost exactly how patriarchal fundies view women. I object to being called that, I find it offensive and dehumanizing, and I don't much care WHY someone would call me that.  It's wrong, and it ought to be retracted with an apology.

Thats the REAL trick of the patriarchy, IMO: the powerful are SO well protected from the others, that even in activism it is easier for us to harm each other than to truly attack the system. We need to be very careful in our efforts, and firm but forgiving when others' efforts accidentally harm us.

[Rachel333]

1 hour ago, Georgiana said:

Maybe a better solution would have been allowing readers to choose their section based upon whether they have a vagina or not. Or use phrases like "if you have a vagina".

"Vagina owner" is almost exactly how patriarchal fundies view women. I object to being called that, I find it offensive and dehumanizing, and I don't much care WHY someone would call me that.  It's wrong, and it ought to be retracted with an apology.

I agree that something like "if you have a vagina" would be better. It would serve the same purpose without being so dehumanizing. I think I actually prefer "vagina owner" to "non prostate owner" though! The latter is not only dehumanizing but defines the female body solely in relation to the male body.

[seraaa]

Wait, TAM is the woman who burned Teen Vogue?

Lordy.

(Teen Vogue is doing great work and revolutionizing teen magazine, imo)

[JermajestyDuggar]

TAM is LOVING all the attention she's getting from her video. The vast majority of people think she's crazy but she doesn't care. She want the fame and money. She seems to spend most of her days online. Who is taking care of her ten kids? Oh that's right. She never took care of them anyway. So I guess she can spend her entire day online spreading her hate and doing interviews. 

[Carm_88]

I think education is important, talking about anal sex puts it out there. It not being taboo is a good thing, as are all aspects of sexuality. If you're a woman who enjoys anal sex, it's good to know that you're not some kind of a freak. It takes all kinds to make this world go around and if you're not doing anything illegal and there's informed consent on both sides, it's all fine with me! 

[Rachel333]

I would be totally fine with an article that's actually educational, but this one wasn't neutral and it read like an advertisement for anal sex. It's not good sex ed if they're only presenting one side! There wasn't a word about how for the receiving partner anal sex is the riskiest sexual behavior for getting STD's like HIV, for example, and this is especially important for LGBT males to know.

Good sex ed is so important, especially for LGBT teens, and this just wasn't it.

Edited July 20, 2017 by Rachel333

[MarblesMom]

11 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

TAM is LOVING all the attention she's getting from her video. The vast majority of people think she's crazy but she doesn't care. She want the fame and money. She seems to spend most of her days online. Who is taking care of her ten kids? Oh that's right. She never took care of them anyway.

Bolding mine.

This is the playbook for so many of the people on whom we snark!  ONLINE/TV ADORATION and ignoring those in your immediate presence.

Ay, caramba!

[JermajestyDuggar]

I feel so sorry for TAM's kids. I feel sorry for the for the typical fundie quiverfull reasons. But TAM is her own special kind of hateful. And now she's semi known for her ridiculous antics and hate. It must be hard to have a parent like that.

[Rachel333]

5 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

I feel so sorry for TAM's kids. I feel sorry for the for the typical fundie quiverfull reasons. But TAM is her own special kind of hateful. And now she's semi known for her ridiculous antics and hate. It must be hard to have a parent like that.

I had a friend whose mom was kind of like that. She (the mom) went on a big campaign to get a bunch of books banned from the school libraries in our city because the books discussed sex, homosexuality, etc. I remember my friend saying that she was just grateful she didn't share a last name with her mom.

[JermajestyDuggar]

I'm just going to leave this here....

[HarryPotterFan]

On July 17, 2017 at 3:08 PM, CelticGoddess said:

She looks deranged.  And if she thinks that burning a magazine *she paid for* is going to hurt the company, she's delusional.  She should just buy hundreds,  no, Thousands of copies and burn them while the publishers of Teen Vogue laugh all the way to the bank.

That reminds me of this marvelous gem from JK Rowling, queen of the universe:

 

[HarryPotterFan]

This mopped up on my Facebook time line:

[JermajestyDuggar]

George Takei's comment section on TAM is pretty hilarious.