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Real Life Fundie Encounters - Part 4


Coconut Flan

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On 07/10/2017 at 7:18 PM, QueenofHearts said:

My, my I’m a newbie and found this board today.  I have been chomping at the bit to write something.  I was born into a fundamentalist Pentecostal family. This may be OT for this thread, but want to get it out.

i have been thoroughly traumatized by the UPC organization.  My mom is on an online support group and wants me to blog there.  I don’t even know where to start and haven’t done it so far.

Even though they left the UPC, My family is now SUPER southern baptist and have very extreme ideas.  IE Texas should be it’s own country and Trump is a great president.  Fortunately, they didn’t have the opportunity to have a million kids.  So, there are only 3 of us.  

I am looking forward to showing what the UPC really is.

So sighting a fundie is part of my daily life :jawdrop:

Also my uncle is a pastor of a UPC church - he never got out and hasn’t realized the nonsense he is spewing - he probably never will - I find it fascinating that people can say with a straight face - everyone is going to hell but me because I follow xyz rules

What exactly is the UPC church? Id love to hear more about your experiences!

Also, sorry I'm not sure how to ship quotes. Do I just delete the irrelevant parts?

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I was on FB yesterday and read a post from my niece by marriage. She was talking about a church in Santa Clarita that basically was shunning and forcing a young woman who had been abused into forgiving her abuser and repenting in front of the congregation. She was furious about it. She and I have had some conversations about patriarchal churches and the whole SAHM thing.

I went on my usual rant about how these churches are so demeaning to women, we're the cause of men's lust...you know the drill. And I suggested that the young lady involved in this fracas, leave this church and find a community of believers that would support her and encourage her to get help. I didn't know what the niece would say, but she said in a comment that I hit it out of the park, and how she hoped too, that the young woman would have the strength to leave that circus. 

She and nephew have been pulling away from the fundie churches they were raised in and finding their own life. When his dad and new stepmom came to see them, they went to a church in their town in TX and were not comfortable at all in it. All I can say is that I have some hope that they will buck the trend. 

 

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I had a mass fundie encounter/ sighting this summer at my high school reunion (more than 20 years).

Growing up (1 of 2 Catholic families, small southern town) we had tons of Southern Baptists and Pentecostals. As well as Methodists, a scattering of Presbyterians and Church of Christ, and even some truly odd one-off churches headed by Brother Joe or Tom or Bill  who had a regular job in order to make ends meet.  It was openly talked about that some of the one offs practiced snake handling and speaking in tongues.

 So definitely fundies in school all the way through high school. No one I know was home schooled.

Anyway, at the reunion it was ... ummmm ..... interesting  ....... to see the number of classmates who had found conservative evangelical fundamentalism in the years since graduation, as well as deeply, deeply conservative Republican politics and an obsessive love/ hero worship for Trump.

I got to hear all about accepting Jesus as your Lord and Savior and their personal relationships with Christ.  Every single one of these people had been raised in a church  -- Wed night prayer meeting, 2 services on Sunday, and Bible school in the summer.

I was asked about whether I had found Jesus, was I "daily in the Word."  I was warned that I was in danger of losing my soul and going to Hell  ........ because Catholic =/= Christian and I needed to renounce the false pagan religion and ask God's forgiveness.   I was told I needed to "get right with God" before it was too late.  I was asked if my father had been born again before he passed away, because if not he wasn't in Heaven.

My fellow Catholic classmate was no help because he became an evangelical, born again, homeschooling, women cannot speak in churches, SAHM-only fundamentalist when he married his fundamentalist wife. [Interestingly only 2 of his 7 children are married, all 5 daughters have careers, incl the one with the only grandchild.] 

All of these fundie encounters were done with smiles and deep concern and kind voices.  Because they just hated the fact I hadn't realized that being a Catholic was worshipping false gods and idols, and that I would never know the "Joy of Jesus" and eternal life in Heaven if i kept on as I was. 

I reminded a few of them that the Catholic Church came first.  I was told I was completely wrong about that. I blew a couple of people's minds by saying I voted for Obama -- twice; that I thought Trump was a idiot, and although I didn't love Hilary, I preferred her over the orange man in the WH.

I got tons of tolerant smiles and head shakes and was told numerous times they would pray for me that I would "come to know the Lord."  No amount of mentioning I already knew the Lord worked because Catholic = absolutely not Christian at all, in the least.

It will be interesting to see how they all are at the next reunion in 5 years.

Adding:   The evening wasn't all bad. There were people who were still their normal selves, and we had a great time catching up.

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On ‎10‎/‎4‎/‎2017 at 6:34 PM, PumaLover said:

Ok folks. I had just had a real life encounter with a JESUS mobile!! I was heading up to the city and this truck passed me. He was driving hella fast, speeding into the Lord I guess! I was finally able to get pics when he slowed down for his exit. I wasn't looking at the phone while I took the pics so they aren't great but thought you all would appreciate them.

I blurred out the license plate but rest assured, it said something about GOD on it!!0d7593229e65cf6f86320b012d21d3db.jpg0a04a3d50ecd9c39ad8b309e8bb86ea9.jpg

Funny, that truck doesn't look like it needs all those stickers to hold it together...

 

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@JermajestyDuggar   I didn't have to leave early. The evening's soiree was done by 9:30. 

Arrival and class photos:   6:30 - 7:00 

Dinner buffet:   7:00 - 8:15 -- the restaurant began clearing away the food about 7:45.

Entertainment:   8:15 - 9:00.  I won't even describe how lame it was.  But it was lame, seriously, seriously, seriously L.A.M.E.  No music, singing or dancing was involved.

Everyone was gone by about 9:30.  No plans to go elsewhere and continue the party.  I heard numerous people say "Oh it's late. We have to get home. We have church in the morning."

On the Friday night there was a Happy Hour at a bar/ restaurant in the next town -- started about 6:00.  Mr. Dress and I dropped by for about an hour,  then left to meet friends who live 2 towns over for dinner.  I heard the Happy Hour was done by 8:00.

I realize we are all older than high school, but we're not 70 or dead.

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@Jana814 Yes interesting is one way to describe it.    :my_shy:    As a class we were all really fun, high spirits, lots of parties, and dances, school events and clubs, football games and after parties, summers on the lake at someone's parent's vacation house, the county fair in August,  etc, etc. etc.

Some of the guys got into trouble, nothing illegal, just normal teenage boy stuff.  Guys worked on their souped up muscle cars and drag raced. There were a couple or 4  girls who dropped out to get married and have a 7-month premature baby.  More than a few people married immediately after graduation and were divorced 5-6 years later. Most of the class didn't go to college, maybe 20% did, but the rest seemed to do well.

I'm just floored that most of them got so "old" and  boring and staid long before they are actually old.  I cannot imagine them at the 50th reunion.

 

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13 hours ago, Granwych said:

Funny, that truck doesn't look like it needs all those stickers to hold it together...

 

um, that picture looks like it was taken on Hwy 99 outside of Bakersfield and environs. It's those almond trees leaning in the wind. Lots of Billie Bobs in Central CA.

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um, that picture looks like it was taken on Hwy 99 outside of Bakersfield and environs. It's those almond trees leaning in the wind. Lots of Billie Bobs in Central CA.

Lol are you local? It was taken in Fowler on the 99, on my way to work. :)
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My, my I’m a newbie and found this board today.  I have been chomping at the bit to write something.  I was born into a fundamentalist Pentecostal family. This may be OT for this thread, but want to get it out.
i have been thoroughly traumatized by the UPC organization.  My mom is on an online support group and wants me to blog there.  I don’t even know where to start and haven’t done it so far. SNIP


Wow, this sounds so interesting, and welcome!! Look forward to seeing what you have to share.
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15 minutes ago, PumaLover said:


Lol are you local? It was taken in Fowler on the 99, on my way to work. :)

There is a house in that area that has become a shrine to trump as well. And as many "repent or die" and "god's way/man's way" billboards as vegas. Of course, I can also point out where the fundie compounds are. It's a special place .

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There is a house in that area that has become a shrine to trump as well. And as many "repent or die" and "god's way/man's way" billboards as vegas. Of course, I can also point out where the fundie compounds are. It's a special place .

Do tell!! There are a few JESUS IS LORD banners on my way to and from work. I'm moving to the foothills in a few weeks and can't wait to never drive the 99 again.

As a side note, in the last couple months, a huge billboard went up on our freeway (main highway through central California) that says, are you going to heaven or hell? And one day right after passing it, AC/DC's Highway to Hell came on on my playlist. Haha!
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15 hours ago, PumaLover said:


Lol are you local? It was taken in Fowler on the 99, on my way to work. :)

Nah I live south of LAX. We almost always drove 99 up to Sac to see the brother and to Fresno to go to Yosemite. The almond orchards are always stunning, especially springtime when they're in blossom. I love 99, the 5 just seems so impersonal. 

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I grew up IFB but all my encounters were boring. Just your typical "you brought the wrong bible, where is your KJV?!" or "You aren't dressed properly" or forced public shaming in front of the whole church for minor stuff....this is all so GREAT!

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The Hutterites were out in force today in front of the hospital.  Loud, LOUD, screaming in German.  Blocking traffic.

I was hobbling in on my walker, wondering WITAF is their issue.....?!

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My whole life is a fundie encounter so it's nice to have a place to share interesting tidbits. 

Let me recap my week... 

We had to go to my inlaws so Mr. EW could work on his car. (They have the carport and equipment we lack.) I met him there so I could use inlaws wifi because we don't have it. I thought it was going well and left a few minutes ahead of Mr. to get back home. 

After I left, both his parents went for him and told him how we really needed to be going to his brother's church he just became pastor of and "help him get it off the ground." (No thanks, both of us come from in ministry families and can spot a troubled church a mile  away, PLUS this is the same BIL is the one that came over and said women should keep home, tend their children and "maybe tend a garden" and that's it, & we don't have time for that shit.) 

Then when Mr. said "no thanks" they got vicious and said "well you don't go to church anyway so you might as well go there!" (They are freaking out because we are still church hunting and thinking about what will fit us best since we've left fundamentalism and radical conservatism both in life and politics.) Mr. said excuse me we DO go and it's none of their business when or where. (Super proof of him because he's very very laid back and chill and just doesn't do any sort of confrontation. He's a fluffy golden retriever. I'm the bulldog of the family) 

THEN they launched into "well you're the man of the house and you need to make a decision and lead your family" blah blah blah bullshit, at which point Mr. made a run for it and left. Yea, fun times with Frank & Marie fundamentalists. 

I had a run in with my mother when I stupidly offhandedly mentioned we thought we were going to have a pregnancy scare but it turned out to be nothing and we were grateful because neither of us want or feel ready for a kid yet. (The thought just stresses us both out at the moment so we've decided to wait a couple more years. Plus we love just being us two.) Well I got the lecture about "not letting fear rule our lives", "a baby is fine when two people are committed to each other in marriage" and "stop being so fearful and stressed and go read a psalm instead." My TT2 mother literally CANNOT comprehend that her daughter just really isn't a baby person and is very very meh about the idea of motherhood, especially the SAHM brand. (Her profession of delivering babies and being around pregant women all the time doesn't help us,  know, but I had a narrow, boring and homebound life as a SAHD and honestly right now the LAST thing I want to do is have a baby and be confined again when there's a big world out there full of things to think about. Yea we'd cope if an accident happened but the thought literally depresses badly I try not to think about it.) 

It kind of makes me sad that my Mom and my MIL just aren't people I can confide in these days. I'm sad because really no one in our current Christian circle is someone I can truly trust. Right now it's just Mr. & I as we think things through, figure things out and walk life out together. The future will be brighter but right now we are sloshing through mud & drizzle. 

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My whole life is a fundie encounter so it's nice to have a place to share interesting tidbits. 
SNIP

My TT2 mother literally CANNOT comprehend that her daughter just really isn't a baby person and is very very meh about the idea of motherhood, especially the SAHM brand. (Her profession of delivering babies and being around pregant women all the time doesn't help us,  know, but I had a narrow, boring and homebound life as a SAHD and honestly right now the LAST thing I want to do is have a baby and be confined again when there's a big world out there full of things to think about. Yea we'd cope if an accident happened but the thought literally depresses badly I try not to think about it.) 
It kind of makes me sad that my Mom and my MIL just aren't people I can confide in these days. I'm sad because really no one in our current Christian circle is someone I can truly trust. Right now it's just Mr. & I as we think things through, figure things out and walk life out together. The future will be brighter but right now we are sloshing through mud & drizzle. 


I am so sorry you're dealing with all that. I've always enjoyed your commentary and didn't know you were from a fundie background. I also am not a baby person. Never have been. Never played with dolls. I decided from a young age that pets would be my babies (and they are-paying for cat surgery next week that costs more than my car is worth!). Luckily my mom always supported me not having kids but the rest of society is hard to convince. When I found the internet I realized there are other childfree women and couples. It was very refreshing. I certainly never ever saw any of that during my time in the church.

I never should have married my fundie ex but you live and you learn. I'll never forget the day he told me that when we got married, I would be a stay at home mom. I asked him, well why am I going to college then? He responded that I should work until the kids were born. Why I didn't run away then, I don't know. I was weak and afraid of being alone I guess.

Fast forward, in spite of never wanting to have babieeszzzz we still ended up parents. We adopted an older child from a family member. We are glad to have her. We have good days and bad. The last week has been bad. Sigh, sorry for rambling.
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Saw fundie inlaws today. BIL just had 3rd kid in 3years. 
FIL: "when we will be adding more grandkids to the family?" 
Me: "whenever you're gonna help pay for them, PawPaw." 
FIL: "God will provide." 
Me: "we'd like to get a little more stable first." 
MIL: "we didn't have anything when we had our kids." 
Me: "we would rather not have to have government help raising our kids. And there's a lot to think about in order to raise and educate your kids well." 
MIL: "well time is running out for y'all." (Mr. EW is 31 and I'm 30) 
sigh....
I remember when my cousin had a kid back in 2000 and the first time my mom saw her she gave me the how come you're not married and giving me grandchildren look.

My brother and sister in law are having one so that pressure is npow off.
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People keep asking me why my 30 yr old son and my 28 yr old daughter don't have serious boy/girlfriends? Well, son hasn't had a job in 10 months, just got hired by his dream job and started. Daughter wants to see the world and experience what's out there (just back from a trip to Canada with friends).  I didn't get married till I was 32 so it's like whatever. IF I get grandkids before I'm 70, I'll be happy. But they have to live their lives and do their thing. 

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well, I guess this is the place to jump in.  As a previous poster commented, I LIVE in fundie encounters.  My in laws, my ex, my former church friends who systematically have deleted me from Facebook (good riddance).  Even my current husband who is driving me insane with his obsession with Fox news.  My children thankfully have escaped; my sons even run a very liberal podcast that drives my ex batty (evil grin).  My MIL who is not in good health told me we couldn't stay with her (who asked??) because I was divorced and going to hell.  WHAT??  Christian charity and forgiveness much? 

Backstory,...my first husband discovered Quiverfull after baby #2.  He decided we should have 7 because there are 7 arrows in a quiver.  I was already doing the skirt thing, barefoot and pregnant. ( I married an older man during a very vulnerable time in my life)  Our church was an overbearing masterpiece of misogyny and bigotry, even though it was multiracial and multiethnic.  After baby #3, I absolutely could not take any more.  I got my tubes tied - huge fight about submission, but I insisted it was my body and my post partum depression that could not take any more.  Surprise!  He left me; mighty Christian of him.  Years of anxiety and depression followed.  Amazingly enough, my kids are awesome adults, functioning in real life as wonderful caring human beings.  I don't know why I got married again recently. Huge mistake.  HUGE.  That's one reason I signed up here.  I live in the Bible belt and only my 2 best friends think like me and accept me.  I am surrounded. 

Edited to say I loved my SAHM years, and my grandchildren are the reason I get up every morning.

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Oh no. I've been reading and poking around too long... Facebook just suggested no greater joy ministries to me... my heart flipped over once afraid I'd accidentally clicked like on their page!

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Just saw another stickered vehicle. This was the anti-abortion vehicle. One big bumper sticker that read: notice how everyone who is for abortion has already been born-Ronald Reagan. Um I'm pretty sure no one is really FOR abortion. Typically people like me just support a woman's right to have one, for whatever reason.

The other sticker said, you can't be both Catholic and for abortion. This was on a minivan.

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