Joe and Kendra 3: Running Toward Marriage

[CarrotCake]

Hi! Newbie here so it is probably been discussed already over and over again but I couldn't find real sources so I am going to ask you all as 'experienced' posters:

I am a long-time Pickles lurker and I see she is completely convinced that Jed&Kendra was a thing before Joe came into the picture. Is there a reason for her to be convinced (besides that she thinks she knows it all)? Or does this rumour has as many proof as the ones about Jinger being pregnant or Jill having a hysterectomy?

[Greendoor]

@CarrotCake - you are my sons choice for his birthday!

I think pretty well everything above is rumour or out right made up. 

 

No doubt Joe and Kendra met at something.  I really hope Jinger is sold on the family size of her in-laws, and that she and Jeremy happy to space including from the start of their marriage.  As to Jill, I haven't heard of a c-section being a cause for hysterectomy; certainly didn't happen to me.  Perhpas she had some kind of breakdown, or huge blood loss.  Maybe 40 hours of labour caused some sort of mini-stroke like problem.  Hopefully she gets some rest before heading back to wherever it is the do that "missioning".

 

[Lizzybet]

On 7/14/2017 at 6:45 PM, justoneoftwo said:

We didn't ask for gift cards but my sister got us some anyway. It was one of the best gifts we got because we were studying for the bar and wouldn't have gone out without something like that to remind us to go spend time doing other things (also were trying to find jobs so we didn't spend money on anything at the time).  That being said, its a weird thing to ask for.

When I was a cashier at 'THE' big home improvement store here in the USA, a couple came in with about $1,800-$2,000 in our store cards for some remodeling/home improvement stuff. I was scanning/entering like mad, so we got to chatting. Their registry only had gift cards to various stores. They'd been living together for eleven years, both had decent paying jobs, and needed no particular items.

I thought it was a good idea. Then too, I'm guessing they didn't tell strangers their preferences. That's grossly tacky, but 100% (Jim Bob) Duggar. 

 

[HarleyQuinn]

10 hours ago, CarrotCake said:

Hi! Newbie here so it is probably been discussed already over and over again but I couldn't find real sources so I am going to ask you all as 'experienced' posters:

I am a long-time Pickles lurker and I see she is completely convinced that Jed&Kendra was a thing before Joe came into the picture. Is there a reason for her to be convinced (besides that she thinks she knows it all)? Or does this rumour has as many proof as the ones about Jinger being pregnant or Jill having a hysterectomy?

Pickes likely got the Jed/Kendra idea from the inquisitor who likely got that idea from here. Pickles pulls a lot of her Duggar gossip from FJ, despite the fact that she hates us. 

The Jinger and Jill rumors are just speculation at this point too.

[MoonFace]

On 7/7/2017 at 3:51 PM, karen77 said:

I just watched a video on FB of a couple at their wedding playing the mrs/mr game (pretty cute) and so sad that most of the duggar's would never even be able to answer half those questions when they get married.... just really shows how much they really know each other.

If it weren't for the fact that the girls wear flip flops all the time the groom couldn't answer the question, "How many toes does your wife have?"

[MoonFace]

On 7/13/2017 at 2:06 PM, eleanora3 said:

 

 

Did anyone else look and notice that there are TWO registries?   One is a CHALLENGE - where people are to buy stuff and send it off and it is "Supposed" to go to some people in need (how the hell would anyone know where it is going? )      But that's a great way to get stuff free - call it a challenge 

Here is what it says:

#DuggarWeddingChallenge ** All gifts will be blessed to needy families who are going through a stormy season of life. Scripture makes it clear that when your heart is set on blessing others, God will bless you in the process. "And do not forget to do good and to share with others, for with such sacrifices God is pleased." A single mom who hasn't been able to afford to treat herself in years; a hard worker father who deserves a break from worrying about putting dinner on the table for a night or two; a veteran who is alone and cold; children who need some joy and fun in their lives; students who need school supplies; a stranger receiving a random act of kindness; families in line at the food bank - these are just a few of the types of people your gifts will bless. Babies, kids, teens, adults, and the elderly - help us put smiles on their faces! The plan is to video record all the moments of surprising the gift recipients and then post it to YouTube. If you include your name with your purchase we will be sure to give you a shout! Thanks so much! ** #DuggarWeddingChallenge **This list is new and growing, please check back for updates. This is not the official registry for Joe & Kendra. This is a challenge for others to bless people more deserving of gifts. We are not affiliated or associated with any of the Duggars or their friends and family. The goal is to brighten someone else's day. * You'll notice that the items on this registry are not sorted by category or in any particular order. This is because we are receiving suggestions, ideas and requests and adding them throughout the day. * Who is "We"? We are a family of believers teaching our children the joy of giving. In order to help more people, we created this project #DuggarWeddingChallenge with the hopes that others will join us in giving back. We completely understand if you are not comfortable giving through us, so we encourage you to volunteer or distribute random acts of kindness in your communities. We want to bless and brighten as many people's days as possible. The people who aren't TV famous and promoting their agendas while soliciting gifts from the world. Instead, people who are down on their luck, who've never given up, or someone who smiles back at you in the store. How thrilling it is to see a parent shopping for school supplies for their kids and handing them a bag of items already purchased, lessening their financial strain. The hard working moms who can't treat themselves - what joy to hand them a way to spoil themselves finally. Or the homeless man with holes in his socks, so simple and lovely to give him socks to keep warm. There are lots of gift cards here - Famous Footwear for a child's new pair of school shoes, JCPenney for an outfit to wear for an interview or school clothes, Ulta for a special treat or a teenager's newest obsession, Amazon for anything - Gift Cards allow the recipient to get exactly what suits them best. STEM toys and projects to encourage science and math learning for all ages of kids! This really just boils down to doing random acts of kindness - with your generous help! For every Duggar wedding and registry requesting outrageous gifts, we will share our registry to help those less fortunate. Let's use their audience to do some real good! * For questions or comments email us at DuggarWeddingChallenge@gmail.com **

[divadivine]

1 hour ago, Lizzybet said:

When I was a cashier at 'THE' big home improvement store here in the USA, a couple came in with about $1,800-$2,000 in our store cards for some remodeling/home improvement stuff. I was scanning/entering like mad, so we got to chatting. Their registry only had gift cards to various stores. They'd been living together for eleven years, both had decent paying jobs, and needed no particular items.

I thought it was a good idea. Then too, I'm guessing they didn't tell strangers their preferences. That's grossly tacky, but 100% (Jim Bob) Duggar. 

 

I've heard of people doing this for their registry because they were rehabbing a house. It makes sense. People can see "Oh Les and Jes are rehabbing their house and would like gift cards to use at these stores!" The couple sends out thank you cards after wedding. Then Les and Jes can post photos of their rehab projects and tag people who gave them the gift cards and say "Aunt Mary thanks for giving us the money to buy this awesome faucet for our new bathroom. We will think of you every time we wash our hands." Okay, I'm being totally corny with that response, but you get what I mean. 

[Phoenix]

On 7/15/2017 at 7:13 AM, MadeItOut said:

My understanding of these things (limited), is that if you're lucky enough to be given a present, then you open it quietly, at home, write a nice letter by hand and can then use the item?

Generally speaking, yes, but there is some regional variations about opening presents. My ex and I opened our presents at a small gathering at my parents home the day after the wedding. It was limited to some family and a few neighbors. One of my childhood friends parents threw a good sized BBQ at which she and her husband opened their gifts. One of the benefits of this is someone is always assigned to take notes about who gave what gift. This makes writing thank-you notes much easier. 

I used my pots and pans before I wrote the notes but we started out with nothing and the pans were needed for cooking. I made certain to get the thank-you notes done in a timely manner. Tradition says the bride has a year from the wedding to get the thank you notes done but overall the sooner they go out the better.

My Southern bride friends have told me about after wedding tea parties that are all women events at which the new wife can show off all her loot to general admiration (and envy). 

 

[HereticHick]

12 minutes ago, MoonFace said:

Did anyone else look and notice that there are TWO registries?   One is a CHALLENGE - where people are to buy stuff and send it off and it is "Supposed" to go to some people in need (how the hell would anyone know where it is going? )      But that's a great way to get stuff free - call it a challenge 

Here is what it says:

... This is not the official registry for Joe & Kendra. This is a challenge for others to bless people more deserving of gifts. We are not affiliated or associated with any of the Duggars or their friends and family. ... Who is "We"? We are a family of believers teaching our children the joy of giving. ...For every Duggar wedding and registry requesting outrageous gifts, we will share our registry to help those less fortunate. Let's use their audience to do some real good! * For questions or comments email us at DuggarWeddingChallenge@gmail.com **

There is only one official registry. This "Challenge" Registry has nothing to do with the Duggars

[MoonFace]

2 minutes ago, HereticHick said:

There is only one official registry. This "Challenge" Registry has nothing to do with the Duggars

I know that there is one official Registry - but if you plug in Joe Duggar two come up - and the first one  has their name and wedding date and picture - with that notice about it being a challenge.  

Unless you are  paying attention you could easily fall for that scam on top. 

[CarrotCake]

I can imagine it is a good business to make up a register on a Duggars' name to get some free stuff, there are always stupid people that believe everything.

Thank God we are not having registers here, you just throw your envelop in a box and you're done. And the newlyweds don't have to write personal thank-you notes either since everyone gave money anyway. 

[FleeJanaFree]

12 hours ago, CarrotCake said:

 

Thank God we are not having registers here, you just throw your envelop in a box and you're done. And the newlyweds don't have to write personal thank-you notes either since everyone gave money anyway. 

Where is this?? Newlyweds aren't expected to thank people for money? (The best gift possible, in my opinion)

[Jana814]

4 minutes ago, FleeJanaFree said:

Where is this?? Newlyweds aren't expected to thank people for money? (The best gift possible, in my opinion)

 

It is the best gift. I always give money as gifts when I go to a wedding. When I go to a bridal shower I try and get something off the registry because I know it is something the couple wants. 

[CarrotCake]

10 hours ago, FleeJanaFree said:

Where is this?? Newlyweds aren't expected to thank people for money? (The best gift possible, in my opinion)

I'm in the Netherlands and they do send thank you notes but they just make a general one and have it printed 100 times.

Print all the addresses and stick them on envelops: done in an hour.

 

I understand that in the US you send a personal handwritten note for everyone thanking them specifically for your blender/tools/sneakers/socks.

[danni9242]

We're in the UK and on our registry we had items we'd need as we'd not lived together and the option for gift cards. It meant that if later people didn't want to buy what was left on the list we could put it towards those items.

I think for the Duggars they are having so many guests they could fill a house twice over so it makes sense to put the giftcards on for once you've got everything. I know they ask for pricier items but those can be 'group bought'. We did that as a family group for a wedding last year. Some they are inviting like the Bates have adult children who could buy with their parents. We did get money and used it as our honeymoon money. Increasingly couples who have everything they need for the home also do 'honeymoon lists' where you can basically put towards a great holiday. This can be especially nice for couples who already have kids and rarely get to do great stuff together.

As to thank you cards we went in the middle. We did postcards of the smaller group photos from our wedding with a part printed back where we filled in names/gifts.

[Gobbles]

3 hours ago, CarrotCake said:

I'm in the Netherlands and they do send thank you notes but they just make a general one and have it printed 100 times.

Print all the addresses and stick them on envelops: done in an hour.

 

I understand that in the US you send a personal handwritten note for everyone thanking them specifically for your blender/tools/sneakers/socks.

Over here in Germany we do it the same way! Our neighbours had children and we gave them money for each birth and every time we got a card with pictures/stats of the baby and a printed text on the back. When people live nearby (which most do) you normally give them the card in person. So the mother would ring our doorbell, say thanks and hand over the card. Some small talk, done. Same for communion/confirmation. 

Never heard of writing a longer letter or saying thanks especially for what you got. 

[VelociRapture]

On 7/15/2017 at 11:14 PM, nickelodeon said:

Not entirely convinced that Tori and Carlin's boyfriends are not, in fact, the same dude.

Ha! This would be true if Evan didn't look like Fundie Zoolander:

Bobby (one half of the couple known as "BoRi") looks more like a cross between John Webster and Brandon Keilen.

[infooverload]

Can I just say I want America to adopt what seems to be the European practice for wedding gifts and thank you cards. I remember writing my thank you cards for my wedding in the hot non air conditioned living room while being six months pregnant. Absolutely miserable and was so thankful we had a small backyard wedding.

[JillyO]

I got married last year in Germany. Like @Gobbles said, we just printed cards with a collage of wedding pictures on the front and then a short text thanking people for making our day special in whatever way (celebrating with us, bringing gifts, sending cards, or just thinking of us). We added "Dear 'name'" to each card and that was that. Every single one of my friends who has gotten married has done it the same way. Everyone just asked for money as gifts too.

[TXGirlInAMaterialWorld]

The gift grab pleas are just crazy!  I think Kendra is starry eyed and enjoying all the attention.  But she has been taught that marriage and motherhood will be her crowning achievements. 

[Thorns]

Re: Gifts

In Norway there is really no set tradition, but most do a variation of registry/wish list (either online or in specific stores). The lists usually includes both cheap and expensive gifts, but "group buying" is common and expected. In almost all the weddings I have attended recently I've been a part of a group when gift shopping. That way you can get really nice gifts. 

It is also common to outsource the opening and registration of gifts to e.g. younger cousins, or friends, as most guests will bring the gift to the wedding venue. They will unpack them, number them, and write down who gave what. That way the gifts will be unwrapped and available for perusal at the reception.  

Thank you -notes are usually hand written (although I would guess printed ones are increasingly more common), with a variation of "thank you for attending our special day, and thank you for the gift/the beautifull xyz/etcetc", and traditionally includes a wedding photo. 

 

[WhatWouldJohnCrichtonDo?]

I remember my mom telling me how the bridal registry worked in the department store of the small town where she grew up. (She and my dad married in the 1950s.)

Whatever the bride registered for, the store would order in and display in a special area. After the wedding, the bride and groom were required to buy anything on the registry that had not already been purchased. She said it made it easier to not get greedy and register for big expensive items that guests were unlikely to buy.

I'd love to see the Duggars' faces if they had to buy any leftover items.

[SapphireSlytherin]

My starter marriage's "registry" was on display in two boutique gift stores in two towns that I had ties to. An entire place setting of my dishes (daily-use stoneware), flatware, drink ware, placemats, etc., along with a framed copy of the engagement announcement from the newspaper (the store's gift to me was the frame) was displayed on a table.

Some brides-to-be had an entire table-for-four of stuff:  four different sets of dishes (daily dishes, china, Christmas dishes, stoneware) and flat/silverware. I wonder, now, if they ever even use any of it. 

I don't use any of that stuff anymore because 1) the marriage didn't last and 2) everything I registered was discontinued within a year of my wedding (was that an omen??? haha), so I sold it all on eBay to people who needed replacement pieces.

[ModestisHottest]

As far as thank-you notes go, after one wedding I attended I just got the printed "Thank you for celebrating with us!" card with a picture from the wedding on it.  While that was lovely, I still wonder to this day if they actually received the gift we got them and if so if they knew it was from us!  A big benefit of personalized cards  (even though I know they are so time consuming) is that people really know you got their gift! Actually, now that I'm thinking about it, when I sent my aunt and uncle a thank-you card for the silverware they gave us for our wedding, they called me to ask if I had also gotten the coffee maker.  I had but it arrived separately without a card so I didn't know who it was from! Personalized thank-you cards to the rescue!  Anyway, this is my East Coast US perspective! I'm in no way suggesting that not sending personalized cards is rude, just that it can cause some confusion (or at least did for me!)

[Mela99]

I'm seriously side eyeing that 'challenge' registry ... I think the whole point of this should be DON'T BLOW YOUR MONEY ON STRANGERS YOU'VE NEVER MET.