Counting On, Season Four Part 4

[MotherOfDragons]

Keeping track of each others' menstrual cycles, I'm relatively okay with. What always skeeved me out the most was when the girls decorated the room for Mama & Daddy's anniversary (sweet fellowship), and put hand-written sticky notes up that said, "Be fruitful and multiply!". 

[Million Children For Jesus]

6 minutes ago, SapphireSlytherin said:

I have never and will never ask a woman if she's pregnant, nor if she's going to "have another."

Good policy. For all the questions I've been asked, I don't recall asking anyone those same questions. Now that I'm older, I'm starting to find it off putting when people ask personal questions, and I respond, "you know, I just wouldn't ask a person that." Some people are apologetic and some are indignant, but either way, I don't feel I should have to explain myself to anyone. When I was younger, I actually answered because I was raised to always be polite no matter how shitty other people behave. I look back and think, "F*ck those people, how inappropriate." I can't believe I put up with that crap.

 

4 minutes ago, JemimaPuddle-Duck said:

I have heard of one fundie family who thought atheists abused their children just by raising them as atheists.

That's probably how Ben feels about Catholics. 

[MayMay1123]

I've said it before and I'll keep saying it until every single person in the world understands... For the love of Rufus, don't ever ask if a woman is pregnant unless you see a baby coming out of her vagina! Go tell everybody that shit! If rude people ask if you're pregnant tell them that...withering stares and "why would you ever ask someone that?" also works. I am too old to put up with shit like this, c'mon its 2017! 

[Sobeknofret]

33 minutes ago, RosyDaisy said:

I find it even more disturbing that the welfare of children doesn't seem to matter.

"Think of the baybeeeez!!!" Just like every fundie who ever opposed reproduction choice.

So who else in your little Nazi state will you be gleeful over infertility issues in? People living below the poverty line? Alcoholics? Single parents? The disabled, physically and/or intellectually? Certain religions? Oh wait! You already went there...

[HarleyQuinn]

15 minutes ago, MotherOfDragons said:

Keeping track of each others' menstrual cycles, I'm relatively okay with. What always skeeved me out the most was when the girls decorated the room for Mama & Daddy's anniversary (sweet fellowship), and put hand-written sticky notes up that said, "Be fruitful and multiply!". 

The boundaries of this family. That's so gross.

[Quiver Full of Kittens]

32 minutes ago, MayMay1123 said:

I've said it before and I'll keep saying it until every single person in the world understands... For the love of Rufus, don't ever ask if a woman is pregnant unless you see a baby coming out of her vagina! Go tell everybody that shit! If rude people ask if you're pregnant tell them that...withering stares and "why would you ever ask someone that?" also works. I am too old to put up with shit like this, c'mon its 2017! 

I'm getting married in a few weeks, and one woman at work keeps asking me when I'm going to get pregnant. Any time she sees me it's her favorite topic of discussion. The first five or six times I laughed it off, because, you know, trying to be polite and keep a low profile. Finally, I looked her straight in the eyes and told her I couldn't have children. The look on her face was priceless. Hasn't bugged me about it since. I. Don't. Play.

 

Now, if I we do decided to have children and she's still working there I'll have some explaining to do. Or not. Maybe just let her wonder...

[Shadoewolf]

Nope, I distinctly remember an episode/special and seeing the cycle chart. The girls were younger, it was on pink posterboard and over their right shoulder in the shot and Michelle saying the girls helped keep track. I remember thinking how ewww and creepy that was. 

[Nikedagain?]

2 hours ago, VeryNikeSeamstress said:

Dilldick was totally snarking us when he talked about naming all the Dullards blessings after countries.

He is so terrible at snark if that was an attempt. It was just flat and awkward. 

 

2 hours ago, SayWhat said:

It  was presented by one of the J-Slaves, as a way to track Michelle's most fertile days  for the purpose of getting Michelle knocked up.

I distinctly remember this too. Because it was so horrifying. I guess it was purged...

[karen77]

2 hours ago, Iamtheway said:

I don't drink and have the unfortune to put on weight mainly around the waist so I've had my fair share of questions. The difference is that if I get asked if I'm pregnant now it's a reminder I'm fat, and while not great I already know that and has decided that I like chocolate too much to change it.

But when I was asked while we were trying it was a reminder of the biggest heartache in my life and a devestating pain that I could not see the end of, and I would always, always go home and cry in the bathroom so my husband wouldn't hear me and be reminded of his pain. That never worked and he still gets freaked out if hears a sniffle from me from the bathroom. 

Infertility is horrid. 

I'm built the same as you!!! And I think what we figured out with my secondary infertility is that I'm insulin resistant (pre-diabetic) from my weight, you'd never guess. So, lots of metformin and clomid/femara + an IUI did the trick finally. It sucked though and cost a lot in the process (not nearly as much as IVF though!)  oh and I don't have PCOS.

Not that this is your issue, but just sharing my story/struggle.

[RosyDaisy]

First, just to be clear, these are thoughts and opinions, not a desire to control anyone.

I am referring in abusive cults who abuse their kids. I most definitely consider spanking child abuse. That is the inflection of pain to modify behavior. If it's illegal to hit another person, then why is it ok to hit a child? As to why I'm an intense fundie hater...they are actively working to strip people of their rights and create a theocracy. I am well aware my opinons are not popular. I am entitled to them and stand by them craptastic as they are. End of discussion.

[Jucifer]

2 hours ago, MayMay1123 said:

I've said it before and I'll keep saying it until every single person in the world understands... For the love of Rufus, don't ever ask if a woman is pregnant unless you see a baby coming out of her vagina! Go tell everybody that shit! If rude people ask if you're pregnant tell them that...withering stares and "why would you ever ask someone that?" also works. I am too old to put up with shit like this, c'mon its 2017! 

I'm with you, MayMay.  No one should ever ask anyone such a personal question!

My sister in law's boyfriend once asked me if I had gone through menopause yet. No one has ever asked me that question except my gynecologist.

Some people are insensitive creeps and some were just not raised right. 

Years later, she's still with him. I go out of my way to avoid him. 

[HarryPotterFan]

@Jucifer That's fucked up and creepy

[MotherOfDragons]

3 hours ago, HarleyQuinn said:

The boundaries of this family. That's so gross.

Boundaries? What boundaries? 

[JMO]

I tend to gain weight in my middle and have had multiple people over the past 17 yrs ask if I'm preggo. They all either look at my stomach while asking or outright tell me it's because my clothes are tight around my abdomen. STFU. I have enough body image issues from my weight without that. It's unbelievably rude. 

[SuhrEnity]

4 hours ago, MotherOfDragons said:

the girls decorated the room for Mama & Daddy's anniversary (sweet fellowship), and put hand-written sticky notes up that said, "Be fruitful and multiply!". 

MOTHER OF RUFUS THAT IS SO SKEEVY 

[Daisy0322]

4 hours ago, MotherOfDragons said:

Keeping track of each others' menstrual cycles, I'm relatively okay with. What always skeeved me out the most was when the girls decorated the room for Mama & Daddy's anniversary (sweet fellowship), and put hand-written sticky notes up that said, "Be fruitful and multiply!". 

That's beyond creepy...

[SapphireSlytherin]

5 hours ago, MayMay1123 said:

For the love of Rufus, don't ever ask if a woman is pregnant unless you see a baby coming out of her vagina! 

And even THEN, you should act surprised!

[MarblesMom]

3 hours ago, Jucifer said:

My sister in law's boyfriend once asked me if I had gone through menopause yet. No one has ever asked me that question except my gynecologist.

I was asked by the gyn if I was still having sex with my husband ... had to be at least 7 years ago. I was so stunned and... like WTH.  I think I said something along the line of "I am a married woman, of course we are" but, still stunned it was even asked.

Aside from medical needs, I don't think anyone needs to know if you are pregnant, menopausal,etc.

When people ask off  the wall questions these days, I usually say "And.... you need to know this ... because....?"  

[just_ordinary]

I just catched up on the diskussions here and have questions:

1. I wonder if everybody who gives Michael and Brandon the benefit of the doubt that they would not abuse their children trough strict and horrid training methods and mindfuck them with ideas of total submission of women are also giving the other couples the benefit of the doubt? Jessa and Ben with their exposure to hip hop? Alyssa and Whitney loosing up on their families dress codes etc. Being desperate for a child is cruel but it doesn't make you a candidate for good parent just like that. It is very well possible that Michael and Brandon would be even stricter as this child would be always in the focus. Getting pregnant is a bit like lottery. You can just win and you can try to improve your chances but there is no right to become pregnant. That doesn't make it less harder for people struggling with infertility. It is unfair and sometimes unjust.

2. Asking someone if she is pregnant you don't really know well is very tacky in my opinion. But then I am very German on this small talk thing and don't open up to people easily and sometimes seem not to I interested because I don't want to be intrusive! But I wonder: If pregnancy is out of it what else should be? When people ask about my father I have pull myself together and tell them he died. I breaks my heart every time and I cry at home later. Should we stop asking people about their families at all just because we might hurt them? We can hurt everyone deeply with personal questions- but if we can't talk about it how do we build deeper relationships?

[DamnPrecious]

5 hours ago, Shadoewolf said:

Nope, I distinctly remember an episode/special and seeing the cycle chart. The girls were younger, it was on pink posterboard and over their right shoulder in the shot and Michelle saying the girls helped keep track. I remember thinking how ewww and creepy that was. 

I remember the pink poster board too. I thought I was the only one for a minute. 

[VeryNikeSeamstress]

8 hours ago, MotherOfDragons said:

Keeping track of each others' menstrual cycles, I'm relatively okay with. What always skeeved me out the most was when the girls decorated the room for Mama & Daddy's anniversary (sweet fellowship), and put hand-written sticky notes up that said, "Be fruitful and multiply!". 

This *actually* happened on the show?! Wow.

It would be like secular kids saying to their folks "Hey Mom and Dad, Happy Anniversary. Have fun, get laid. Here are some rubbers in case you need 'em." 

[albanuadh_1]

How did the last episode do in the ratings?

 

[MotherOfDragons]

5 hours ago, VeryNikeSeamstress said:

This *actually* happened on the show?! Wow.

Yep. I was off-the-charts creeped out. It was even weirder when I saw the Bates daughters doing the exact same thing for Kelly and Gil on BUB a few years later. Does Gothard teach this shit?

[SapphireSlytherin]

OK - I'm still taking one for the team. Watching "Raising 16 Kids" or whatever - it's the immediate follow-on to 14 Kids.

Observation:  halfway through, no chart.

Observation 2:  during Meeeechelle's ultrasound (which revealed Hannie), her belly was VISIBLE! No red blankie over the bare flesh!!!

[Carm_88]

In my opinion, when you ask someone "Are you pregnant?", it's like you're asking "So how's your sex life?" That's something that's private and I don't want to know. What goes on in other people's bedrooms is really none of my business. Plus, who needs more pressure. It's hard to be female and say "We don't want kids" because all females are supposed to love and want kids more then anything. So, I stay out of it, unless I see a pregnancy announcement or baby pictures, then I will congratulate!