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@SapphireSlytherin lol definitely!  First time I was gaining all over, and second, it was all belly.  Crazy how different each one can be!

I keep seeing slytherin's and gryffindor's . . . But where my hufflepuffs at? (Oh god, I don't mean to derail the thread haha)

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15 minutes ago, Fun Undies said:

@SapphireSlytherin lol definitely!  First time I was gaining all over, and second, it was all belly.  Crazy how different each one can be!

I keep seeing slytherin's and griffendor's . . . But where my hufflepuffs at? (Oh god, I don't mean the derail the thread haha)

Hufflepuff here!  LO is too little to know what he is, other than not a Griffendor! 

 

Edited to add that saying no way to Griffendor may be a shallow version of bravery, but at he is 1 I'll go with it.

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2 hours ago, Fun Undies said:

@SapphireSlytherin lol definitely!  First time I was gaining all over, and second, it was all belly.  Crazy how different each one can be!

I keep seeing slytherin's and gryffindor's . . . But where my hufflepuffs at? (Oh god, I don't mean to derail the thread haha)

Hufflepuff here!!!

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@Antipatriarch-- Thank you! I had never seen the speedrun videos, they are great.

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2 hours ago, Fun Undies said:

@SapphireSlytherin lol definitely!  First time I was gaining all over, and second, it was all belly.  Crazy how different each one can be!

I keep seeing slytherin's and gryffindor's . . . But where my hufflepuffs at? (Oh god, I don't mean to derail the thread haha)

Harry Potter thread drift is always preferable to talking about the Duggars.

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I see Babes learning Spanish as a way of at least they are trying. And it's not like learning a second language as an adult is easy.

As we are learning from Derrick & Ben that it's probably safe to not put either Jeremy or Austin in one classification as of now. It appears at the moment Jeremy could be the better spouse since he's encouraging Jinger to learn new things. But who knows how he'll be when they have the first kid. With Austin he seems to really care about Joy's feelings. Yet who to say how he'll be when the first kid is here.

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I don't know, I feel like I see Hufflepuffs everywhere, constantly! Or maybe I just tend to gravitate toward them? Hufflepuff is, after all, the nicest house. (Gryffindor here, lol)

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9 hours ago, ThunderRolls said:

I think she said they would be little protectors of their younger siblings or something like that (apologies if I misremembered this, but I cannot bring myself to watch the episode again to confirm). I believe she also said that Izzy would have a buddy to pal around with then, too. 

Did she really say that? Didn't work very well in her family. 

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31 minutes ago, singsingsing said:

I don't know, I feel like I see Hufflepuffs everywhere, constantly! Or maybe I just tend to gravitate toward them? Hufflepuff is, after all, the nicest house. (Gryffindor here, lol)

Gryffindor buddies! I hear ya, all of my friends are Ravenclaws (I kinda always wanted to be one but love my house though). 

I love Harry Potter thread drifts :pb_lol:

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Sorry I'm interrupting this Harry Potter drift, but Derick is such an asshole. So, he wouldn't want to offend his son by guessing his SEX (not gender) is female, but if Samuel turned out to be a Samantha wouldn't he offend his daughter for thinking she was a boy? I kind of feel sorry for Jill but she is smug as hell with shit for brains so my pity doesn't last too long. 

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10 hours ago, Jessie E said:

I am starting to dislike Derrick more and more as the seasons roll on.  He's an entitled asshole who only cares about SA and his Jesus act.  He has almost zero concern for Jill & Izzy.  In the episode, I felt that overall he seemed annoyed with Jill, annoyed with being home and his one and only concern was getting back to SA.  He looks absolutely terrible!! It's a bit shocking when you look back at clips/photos from when they were courting to how he looks today.  I have brought this up before and I will say it again. I am worried for his physical health and also his mental health. I am not convinced that his change in appearance may also have to do with a mental break down of some sort.  Makes it a bit more clear as to why Jill has been a bit wacky for the last little while too. Being married to Derrick can't be easy! 

All of this is just so spot on. You said what was in my head, and it was magical! :56247955dd693_32(12):

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1 hour ago, Iamtheway said:

Did she really say that? Didn't work very well in her family. 

Haha, no it did not work that well in her family. Maybe someone could do a re-watch of the episode to confirm if Jill really said that or if it's just my imagination.

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35 minutes ago, Eatingintheprayercloset said:

Sorry I'm interrupting this Harry Potter drift, but Derick is such an asshole. So, he wouldn't want to offend his son by guessing his SEX (not gender) is female, but if Samuel turned out to be a Samantha wouldn't he offend his daughter for thinking she was a boy? I kind of feel sorry for Jill but she is smug as hell with shit for brains so my pity doesn't last too long. 

Oh course it wouldn't offend Samantha, it's a great honor to have a penis. An honor us vagina possesser can't even begin to imagine. A penis gives you great wisdom and strength.

Derick manages to be a squib and a death eater at the same time. If he had magical powers his patronus would probably be a worm.

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23 minutes ago, ThunderRolls said:

Haha, no it did not work that well in her family. Maybe someone could do a re-watch of the episode to confirm if Jill really said that or if it's just my imagination.

I believe you're thinking of this quote, which he gave in an interview to People magazine about the announcement that their first baby would be a boy.

Quote

“As a new dad, to have a firstborn son to be our first child and be the leader of his siblings, it is very special.”

 

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I think Derick really wanted this baby to be a boy so his two boys can have a relationship like Derick and his brother had growing up. His thought process was a little off but he is now apart of the Duggar clan so I am not expecting profound intellilectual thought coming from this show. 

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9 hours ago, Jinder Roles said:

I feel like we're doing the same thing with Babe that we did with D-wreck when Jill first got married (for the record I disliked Derick as soon as I heard the words "humanitarian work in Nepal")

I feel like people are misled by Babe's intentions because he's attractive and charismatic. He's better than all the other Duggars in front of the camera.

It's true! When most things are a question mark at the moment about what Jinger and Jeremy's marriage is going to be like, it's preferable to hope for the best possible outcome. Which is probably conservative Christian but a little bit less legalistic (I mean following certain rules that show how devoted a Christian you are- like Gothardism). Hopefully allowing Jinger a little bit more freedom of choice. Unfortunately, Jeremy could be a new Jim Bob in sheep's clothing...

Derrick is really affected in such an annoying way. Like holding the door open for Jill at the Dr's office but announcing to Israel "we hold the door open for the ladies". It seems all for show, to prove what great family values they teach.

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11 hours ago, Buzzard said:

The spanish seem things like a completely unnecessary plot point.  If the congregation/people they were trying to get to join the church had SUCH a major language issue that they needed to communicate in spanish wouldnt the sponsoring church send a minister that actually spoke the fucking language?

My impression that they required to learn Spanish mostly for living in Laredo, not necessarily just for ministry. I think Jeremy isn't the only pastor in his church, so they probably have Spanish speaking pastor/s too.

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10 hours ago, GreyhoundFan said:

That would be an improvement. I'd watch the show if it was shorter than 30 seconds, rather than an hour long. They could certainly fit all the "action" from a 60 minute CO episode into 30 seconds with time to spare.

- Counting on Intro.

- "This week on Counting On":

- Jill:  "Babe."

- Jinger:  "Babe."

- DWreck:  "Babe."

- Joy:  "Austin."

- Ben:  "Uh."

- A baby coos, another cries...followed by random shots of various JSpawn and in-laws milling about, smiling and muttering "Precious", "Jesus", and "Season of Life" while several older JGrandSpawn silently stare.

- Show credits.

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People who are severely malnourished often have changes in personality and cognition.  They become more rigid, and also less organized in their thoughts.  They lack the ability to be an agile thinker and processing complex situations is impaired.  They are more irritable and appear emotionally detached. 

I think some of what we see that appears different with Derick is a result of whatever health issue he has that is impacting him more than just in his appearance. 

Like him or not, Derick has had a lot of stressors in his relatively young life.  Losing a father suddenly, having a mom with a serious cancer, the remarriage, then the time in Nepal followed by the whirlwind courtship and marriage and then a baby right away.  Then of course he had to adjust to being stateside again in a more traditional job.  And then Jill had the traumatic birth followed by Dericks unfortunate facial/jaw surgery which I think we can all agree doesn't seem to have gone smoothly for him.  Then before he fully has a chance to recover the whole molestation thing comes up and before they can ever fully process that they were off to CA.  Add to that having to cope with being married to a Jill and that is a lot. 

Yes,  a lot of this was self inflicted stress, but not all.  I think he had a lot roll out to him suddenly.  I also think that he was at a vulnerable place in his life and his partnering up with JB came at the perfect time when he was vulnerable and trying to figure out his place in the world.  JB, being the consummate used car salesman likely sold Derick on the wonderful gothard lifestyle, the amazing role of Headship, etc and Derick went for it. 

I worry for his health, physical and mental.  I don't know how Gothardism allows for a woman to speak up and get outside help for a husband who is struggling.  And of course Jill comes with her own issues to compound Dericks.  It feels like a sad situation to me. 

 

I have been saying for awhile that Ben, while dull and severely lacking in fluency with his own native language, should be given a chance.  He at least has a chance to grow and outgrow some of his awkwardness, insecurity and rigid thinking.  But Derick's situation feels less optimistic to me than Ben's.  We see Ben trying new things, we see him growing in his role as a dad, we see him actively pursuing education and apparently he is holding down some sort of job, even if it is just working for JB.  He seems to be a good support to Jessa and he seems comfortable with his kids. I think he has more going on behind his rather dull outward appearance.  Jessa seems relaxed and happy most of the time, which again speaks to Ben and their partnership.  Jill seems unhappy and detached, which is likely a reflection of a less healthy situation. 

It is too early to call it for Jeremy and Austin.  There is a side to Jeremy that doesn't add up.  He lived in the world, appreciates education, has a working mom and comes from a smaller family.  He seems to 'be his own man' and yet he is also a fame seeker.  Of all the movers and shakers in the religious community, why did he decide to hitch his wagon to a bunch of uneducated, unmotivated  yahoos like the Duggars.  For anyone to watch this show, and pay attention and still want to be a part of the family is the concerning part with Jeremy.  What is his end game?  That being said,  it is nice that Jinger is away from the TTH.  Austin seems like a sincere young man.  His family? well they actively pursued 15 minutes of fame with that whole wife swap thing.  So there seems to be an element of fame seeker with that family.  But Austin was child when that happened, so he shouldn't be held accountable for the sins of his fathers. 

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I agree with Jess E. and speller.

With Derick it's hard to say if it is the chicken or the egg RE mental health vs. physical health. I was in a relationship for 2 years with someone who had a mental breakdown due to depression early in year two and I see a lot of parallels in behavior and relationship dynamics to Derick and Jill. 

While sickness can result in weight loss and loss of cognition, it can also be the other way around. Symptoms of depression include weight loss and poor sleep. My ex was 6'1" and 145 lb. when he finally had the breakdown.

Depression can make even kind, sensitive people selfish jerks...  it also warps reality, so along with denial it is often hard for people to even realize they are depressed. Variety can make some depressives feel better (e.g. travel, new places, etc.). Partners of depressed people are often confused, frustrated and become depressed themselves b/c the depressive often makes everything their partner's problem to fix b/c they literally can't find the energy to do it for themselves. It looks a lot like codependence, ding ding ding. 

I could be projecting, but I wouldn't be at all surprised if that is what is going on. If it is depression, it will be very hard for them to get any help.... it is hard enough for a secular person with good insurance to get help. 

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17 hours ago, Chewing Gum said:

BUt why would she think boys would be good at the beginning? One would think she meant girls? 

Placate hubby perhaps? Ex#1 & his mum (which is just plain weird to me) made it clear they expected a boy first (in that way of 'of course a girl will be thrown back in the brantub and re-picked) as though I had any say in it.

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1 hour ago, calimojo said:

 

I worry for his health, physical and mental.  I don't know how Gothardism allows for a woman to speak up and get outside help for a husband who is struggling.  And of course Jill comes with her own issues to compound Dericks.  It feels like a sad situation to me. 

 

Don't know for Gothardism, but at the point where ex#1 had a breakdown, sat himself in the river and tried to die (then came home ringing wet since he can swim), I rang a Christian counseling service (one with nasty, secular degrees etc). The councillor told me to bring him in of course, which meant I had to call his dad to drive (#1 forbade me to get my license). Both in-laws descended. Her shouting and wailing and demanding to know why I was determined to destroy headship and his family when "even if breakdowns exist" he could just take tomorrow off work and get over it (guess who was 'working' for his parents having got fired for idiot mistakes from everywhere else).

When it was safe later, I rang the councillor again and explained. He told me some things to watch for. I left at the first of those. Many years later I discovered he was warning me off lead ups to 'family annihilator' behaviours.

 

I had other friends try to source help for husbands to differing degrees of issues. The theme in all our cases was we were wicked Jezebels attempting to deliberately portray our husbands as weak and pitiful in order to publicly shame them.

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Re the Babes learning Spanish.  They were both Homeschooled, right?  And Spanish is the 2nd largest language spoken in the USA, & bigger than English in terms of global speakers, so I would have expected it to be the language they learned at 'school' - but do USA folk think they would have been taught another language instead, or just not taught a language at all?

(I know, I know, I'm using the word "taught" when for the Duggars I should say "were given booklets to try to read in the chaos of their homelife & filming", and this is where I'm going wrong!)

(In the UK, language skills and expectations are execrable compared to pretty much every other European country, but until recently, we were all expected to learn at least 1 language, even if only for a few years, at Secondary school (11-16/18), so I guess I just assume that learning a language is a core skill just like history, geography, English lit etc.)

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I think that these people, and I mean ALL OF THEM, are taught to be so constantly joyful that they are detached from any emotions they may have. While I think that many of you may be right about Derick being unwell (mentally) and Jill being unhappy/stressed I don't think Jill and Derick have the capacity to be aware of their emotions in any kind of conscious way. I think they just go through the motions of life always expecting it to be one way or another without much introspection.

Poor Derick seems to have lost his joy though. At least in courtship and early days of marriage he seemed like a very joyful person. He had an exuberance about life that I just don't see even a trace of anymore. I don't remember the last time I saw him smile...he's so serious all the time now.

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I find it really hard to say what kind of people the Dillards are based on the little insight we get. But they have gone through many similar struggles my family has, living abroad, moving a lot, (extended) family health issues and dealing with crazy in your family. It knocks the stuffing out of you. Depression is very common among expats and so is divorce and burnout. Your life is just in constant upheaval. With Jill not being able to make decisions or take initiative, that leaves a lot of extra load on Derick.

Although I would consider myself a happy person, through all the upheaval our family experienced, I do think I have lost some of the careless joyfulness of youth. I can't fault Derick for that. It is called 'responsibility'. But if he also suffers from depression, I really hope he finds help. Because the stress and isolation of being abroad with young children and a depressed husband, I would not wish on Jill. Also the children will suffer from that. 

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