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5 hours ago, Million Children For Jesus said:

There's something very wrong with Derick. He's obsessed with CA, impulsive, isolating his wife, which is never a good sign in a relationship, and lives in a fantasy world having a white savior complex. I think he had the complex before he met Jill, but maybe the Josh scandal caused some kind of psychotic break, because Derick has gone off the rails.

I feel like the Josh scandal definitely affected Derick in a profound way. I've always wondered how much the spouses (Anna, Derick, Ben) really knew about what happened with Josh before it became public. Like you, I think Derick had issues long before Jill, and maybe Derick's mental fantasy of being in the Duggar family was totally shattered when everything became public.  Derick went from riding the high of People magazine covers and TLC specials (being *the* Duggar couple of the moment) to the most negative backlash against the Duggar family and pretty much anyone associated with them.  I don't think Derick had any ability to handle that. 

Yes, I know the missionary stuff was being put out there for a potential plot line for the show, but with Jill becoming pregnant so soon after the wedding, they didn't really need the CA storyline right away. It just seemed like going to CA that soon was an escape, like he was running away from reality and trying to create some kind of control for himself.  Perhaps, I'm way off, but we can really only speculate since we don't know for certain what goes on in Derick's head and behind the scenes of the show. 

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3 hours ago, Million Children For Jesus said:

There are probably some variables in definition. To me, the Lost Boys and Lost Girls are the bottom 10 children, whom I would consider motherless and raised by sister moms. The howlers are the bottom 8. The bottom 8 are the ones who truly did not have any active parenting from Boobchelle. Josie, the Miracle Child, might be excluded, even though she acts howler-y. 

I'm fully anticipating some revolting by the howler monkeys. As a parent, you can't be absent in their formative years and then jump in to enforce boundaries when they become teenagers. All of their sister moms will be gone and I'm waiting for a howler to look at Boobchelle and ask, "who are you exactly? and why should we listen to you?"

Maybe that's why Jana and JD are still around: crowd control for the herd of poorly-disciplined tweens and teens. They may be needed more than they did when the lost children were smaller. I don't think the parents have the same psychological grip on the younger ones that they do the older ones, so someone has to keep them in line. 

I agree that it'll probably be one of the younger ones that eventually breaks Duggar and gives Boobchelle the proverbial finger--unless Josh does it first, which I maintain is less likely but still within the realm of possibility. I think Jinger is quietly distancing herself and there's a good chance Jessa will as well, particularly if the show ends, but the other older kids don't seem inclined to stray too far. 

20 minutes ago, bananabread said:

Joy is 10000000000000% ready for marriage and babies. when did that happen?!!

Probably about ten minutes after Jinger got married and Joy realized she'd be on mommy and auntie duty with Jana full-time.

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2 hours ago, bella8050 said:

I remember having hope for Jill when she married Derick, womp womp. Ben looks like prize next to him now.

Because of this, I now have my "Derick Rule". I'm no longer judging the appropriateness of a Duggars partner until they've been married 3-5 years. At first, Derick looked like a prince of sorts and Ben looked like an unformed toad. Now, Ben looks like the better of the two. (Not great, but better than Derick.)

Consequently, my jury's still out on Jeremy and Austin. 

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I never understood the constant flying back and forth that they do.  I have a friend who teaches in Africa and her husband is a minister but he helps with building and other needs in the area.  They only fly home once a year in the summer to see family and friends and it's not cheap, they save all year.  They actually get paid from an actual missionary place, peanuts but it's pay.  They do ask for donations to help supplement but a lot of the donations they use towards the kids she teaches.

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I apologize if someone has addressed this already, but something about the whole trip-to-the-doctor-to-find-out-the-gender segment made me uncomfortable. Knowing what we know about Jill (in that it seemed like she was in competition to be the first Duggar daughter married, pregnant, etc.) I feel like Jill is now desperate to be the first Duggar daughter to have a daughter. After they got back from the doctor they were talking about this baby like he was just another baby in a pack of babies. I know that's just how Jill was raised, but it makes me sad for baby Samuel that no one seems particularly excited he's coming.

I feel like Jessa is genuinely excited about each of her babies regardless of their gender, whereas Jill in some sort of competition whether it's to have the first daughter or most children or what have you.

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I think Derick was looking for something for whatever reason. Was he not satisfied with how he was raised and looked for something else. 

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15 hours ago, bella8050 said:

Jordyn seemed to press on a bit and then Hannie was carrying it down the stairs with her arm up with Jordyn yelling that she was the one who found it (they were on opposite teams) and utlimately Jordyn was given credit and was the one to give the big "gender reveal.

But I was all like "You go Jordyn, We got you!"

6 hours ago, Million Children For Jesus said:

There's something very wrong with Derick.

It's called being a Dick. 

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Three last positive notes before I leave for a Brexit 1776 Anniversary party. (It is Independence Day in the United States.)

I liked Cathy Dillard Byrum's pink sweater. 

Jeremy's black hair is kindof sexy. For a guy who is only 1/4 Italian, he got all of the good parts of his Italian DNA. 

The Forsyths property looks beautiful. I also liked their green kitchen cabinets. 

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I'm confused on the timeline. This makes it seem like they found out they were having a boy after Henry was born, but I thought they didn't announced before? I remember thinking Jill wanted the credit for having the second boy. 

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56 minutes ago, imnewhere said:

I feel like Jill is now desperate to be the first Duggar daughter to have a daughter.

Honestly, whenever Jinger does get pregnant, I hope she has the first girl. She's always been my favorite Duggar, and I think she has good fashion sense and won't use those pigtail headbands. Plus I could toally see a daughter having Jeremy rapped around her little finger (hopefully) and, based on his mom and sister, she'd probably have more opportunities than Jill or Jessa's girls would. 

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I kind of want all of them to have all boys. A long, long line of boys. 

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Weren't Jed and Her the first kids to be blanket trained? I kind of remember that M was having a hard time with SOTDRT because the twins interrupted too much when they were toddlers. I could be mistaken.

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I think Jill wants the first girl too so I'll actively root for Jinger to have her. Even though Jeremy looks like a scary control freak. 

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8 hours ago, SapphireSlytherin said:

Yeah, they're cheap. An 8-year-old E class can be had for less than $10,000. I bought a six-year-old SLK class a few years back for less than $20K. 

And you'll get at least a decade out of it if you want to. They're good investments. (Sorry if someone else said that in the next two pages.)

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4 minutes ago, HarleyQuinn said:

 

I think Jill wants the first girl too so I'll actively root for Jinger to have her. Even though Jeremy looks like a scary control freak. 

I'm just wondering why you feel Jeremy seems like a control freak? I'm asking because I feel like there is something kind of off about him, but I can't really put my finger on it. He seems fairly contrived in his actions in front of the camera and the talking head segments, but (to give him the benefit of the doubt) that could also be from not feeling comfortable in front of the camera.  I will also add that I big time side-eye anyone who tries to convert Catholics to Christians (looking at you Derick and a partial side-eye to Ben too).

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1 hour ago, anjulibai said:

I'm confused on the timeline. This makes it seem like they found out they were having a boy after Henry was born, but I thought they didn't announced before? I remember thinking Jill wanted the credit for having the second boy. 

Yeah, the timing of that episode made it look like everything was happening at the same time, but it wasn't. Jill and Derick announced January 30th that they were having a boy. Henry was born February 6th, and I think he was 2 weeks old in the Seewald segments of the episode. So those things actually happened about 3 weeks apart.

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I think it was @Million Children For Jesuswho mentioned they once hoped Derick would pursue a CPA career path before he became full blown Hippy Jesus (excellent summary by the way.) I'm married to a CPA and I honestly never thought that'd be a real career path for him.

To start, most people interested in becoming a CPA find work at public accounting firms where they'll constantly get relevant experience working under licensed CPAs (two years experience under the supervision of a CPA is a requirement for licensure last I checked.) Derick found work with Walmart, which was great... but it isn't the same as working in a public accounting firm doing tax and audit work. There are likely CPAs working there and in other corporate settings, but your best bet is taking a job in a public accounting firm since almost all of them will have a CPA on staff (usually at least the firm partners will hold this license.)

Additionally, you need an extra 30 credits in Accounting over the 120 total credits needed for your Bachelors degree. A lot of people, including my husband, earn a Master's in Accounting to complete this requirement. Derick earned his Bachelors degree, but that was when he was younger, unmarried, and had no kids. It can be much harder trying to complete a degree when you have a family to consider. Not impossible for someone motivated by any means, but I don't think Derick is motivated.

Most importantly though, and the real reason I don't see him ever becoming a CPA, you have to pass the four sections of the CPA exam - one of the most rigorous and toughest professional exams.  My husband passed each part on his first try, but he took very good review courses and studied his ass off to get those results. 

We didn't know who Derick truly was before he married Jill and maybe it was unfair of me to judge him like that... but I honestly don't really see anyone connected to the Duggars having the work ethic or ambition necessary to complete a professional licensure like that. Especially Derick though. 

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51 minutes ago, ThunderRolls said:

I'm just wondering why you feel Jeremy seems like a control freak? I'm asking because I feel like there is something kind of off about him, but I can't really put my finger on it. He seems fairly contrived in his actions in front of the camera and the talking head segments, but (to give him the benefit of the doubt) that could also be from not feeling comfortable in front of the camera.  I will also add that I big time side-eye anyone who tries to convert Catholics to Christians (looking at you Derick and a partial side-eye to Ben too).

The first red flag to me was describing Jinger as "meek." That to me read like he wanted someone he could mold into the wife that he wanted,  and little follower Jinger fit the bill.

I think that any man that did not grow up in ATI that courts a Duggar is looking for someone to mold to a degree, but Jeremy just gives me super controlling vibes. Look at his wedding, that felt all Vuolo. He also doesn't seem as stupid as Dwreck and Ben so that makes him scarier imo.

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1 hour ago, anjulibai said:

I kind of want all of them to have all boys. A long, long line of boys. 

Yea, no sister-moms so Jill will have to raise those kids all herself unlike MeMeMechelle

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3 hours ago, Jana814 said:

I think Derick was looking for something for whatever reason. Was he not satisfied with how he was raised and looked for something else. 

I wonder if Dick isn't upset he didn't get the pure wife he was promised? He didn't seem so douchey until after the Joshly scandals. Not sure what his deal is but he went from a seemingly normal Conservative Christian to a massive asshole in very short order.  And now Jill is stuck with him because she won't leave him. 

As for Jeremy being controlling, I see it, but not so much in a nasty Derdick kind of way more of, I want this in a wife, but I still want her to have brains and be capable of being/appearing normal.  And I get the feeling he genuinely loves her and cares that she is happy, unlike Derdick. 

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4 hours ago, bananabread said:

I'd love to know what kind of stuff Ben does at work. Construction work? Office work? IIrc he works for JB in some capacity, but no one really knows what he does.

Who knows? My guess is some kind of rental maintenance for JB's real estate business...cleaning apartments, demo before reno, showing prospective renters suites, maybe landscaping. He mentioned in the last episode that he's not much of a construction worker so it's probably not renos. We don't see much of the family business on the show, and my guess is that they wish to keep that aspect of their life private, maybe so as not to invite unwanted attention at their workplaces.

3 hours ago, ThunderRolls said:

I feel like the Josh scandal definitely affected Derick in a profound way. 

It was confirmed that Anna was informed by Josh of his past, but for all we know none of the male spouses were informed of Josh's behaviour. I could see Derick being upset by that omission before he married Jill. I hope he doesn't resent her for it or take it out on her in any way.

3 hours ago, Audrey2 said:

Consequently, my jury's still out on Jeremy and Austin. 

 

12 minutes ago, HarleyQuinn said:

Jeremy just gives me super controlling vibes. 

Interesting, because for me it is Austin whom I get controlling vibes from rather than Jeremy. Oh, I definitely feel that Jeremy is patriarchal and zealous, but what I sense from Jeremy is a) he's not a micromanager, he wants a wife who can manage herself and take care of him; he doesn't want to fuss over things. b ) he likes to have fun c) he fancies himself an intellectual, and wants a wife who is clever (not necessarily someone who thinks for themselves, but rather someone who also fancies themselves to be "smart"). For these reasons, I think J&J will have a happy marriage. Austin on the other hand seems overly concerned with work and wants Joy to participate in his work and values her for her contribution to his work. Once they start having babies and she's busy with the kids, their marriage might lose whatever spark it may have. I could see him becoming distant and overly focused on work and neglecting Joy and the kids eventually. I could also see him being very controlling in their day to day life because of image or whatever, he doesn't seem like a very relaxed person to me.

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4 hours ago, Gillyweed said:

Honestly, whenever Jinger does get pregnant, I hope she has the first girl. She's always been my favorite Duggar, and I think she has good fashion sense and won't use those pigtail headbands. Plus I could toally see a daughter having Jeremy rapped around her little finger (hopefully) and, based on his mom and sister, she'd probably have more opportunities than Jill or Jessa's girls would.

I just hope she isn't gay or gets cancer or wants to go to secular schools or..............

My problem with Jeremy is that he wants to seem normal and I don't think it's sincere :shrug:

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Speaking of JinJer, it was funny to see them learning and trying to speak spanish. 

At least it was funnier than Jilly Muffin & co. when they try to do the same back in CA. I guess everything is funnier than those two.

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2 hours ago, HarleyQuinn said:

The first red flag to me was describing Jinger as "meek." That to me read like he wanted someone he could mold into the wife that he wanted,  and little follower Jinger fit the bill.

I think that any man that did not grow up in ATI that courts a Duggar is looking for someone to mold to a degree, but Jeremy just gives me super controlling vibes. Look at his wedding, that felt all Vuolo. He also doesn't seem as stupid as Dwreck and Ben so that makes him scarier imo.

Yes, Jeremy described her as meek.  But I'd bet he saw the show before they met.  I think he like the look and sound of her; maybe thought I'd like to marry her and show her the real world.  He's now telling her likes her to read, she's intelligent.  I see him as a mentor not a control freak. 

 

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People are rarely just one thing.  I see controlling aspects in jeremy's personality, but that also doesn't mean that he wouldn't be supportive of Jinger becoming her own person.   During their session at their kitchen table re: learning Spanish,  he seemed to be in charge of that whole scene.  He directed their learning session and he planned the trip to the restaurant.  Yet he seemed content to let Jinger order her own food and was impressed that she communicated well enough to get a special request honored.  He also let her correct him when he used the wrong word to describe how big his dinner plate was.  There was no defensiveness or anything.  I think he has a dominant personality and he is probably like that all the time.  But that also doesn't mean that if Jinger spoke up and said "I don't want to go out for Mexican tonight", that he would force the issue.  I see him more trying to influence by what he views as teaching rather than making a direct order.  I do sort of feel like he might see himself as Jinger's advocate.  If he has half a brain, he must have noticed how sheltered and lacking in confidence she was, and he may truly see part of his role as her headship as someone who helps her grow and develop.  The controlling part will come in if Jinger grows in  a way that he does not endorse.  I suspect as long as she grows to fullfill his notions of what a preacher's wife should be, with an eye towards upward mobility,  he will be fine.  If she grows in a different way,  it will be interesting to see how he handles that. 

 

I have a good friend who is truly married to a nice guy, but the first half of their marriage he was definitely in charge.  She couldn't even go out with friends on a certain day of the week because he worked a half day that day and she had to be home when he was home.  Once their girls got to their late teens, she started exploring new things, took on a part time job and started speaking up for herself.  It was a change for them both, but he finally admitted that he was relieved she started taking charge because he perceived her as incredibly passive and he learned to be in charge somewhat out of frustration that she never spoke up,etc.  in truth, I think he has the tendency to be in charge and she had the tendency to just be a doormat, so they fell into those roles.  But once she started to change, I think he actually was relieved to have someone else make decisions, and I think he found her much more interesting at this point than he did before.  They are going strong on nearly 30 years now and seem really in tune and happy. 

 

Maybe that will be the evolution of jinger.  maybe if her confidence grows she will start to be more assertive.  And we know that Jeremy's mom has hobbies and interests of her own, so perhaps, Jeremy will be fine if Jinger decides to take up a hobby that takes up some time.  She is musical and she seems to enjoy being creative with photography and other things.  So hopefully she will find something of interest out side of watching baaaaabe do planks on the living room floor.

 

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