TH is talking about me!

[NurseNell]

I do want to mention that donor conception is not necessarily anonymous or lacking in information. You can choose an open donor who is willing to be contacted once the child is 18. You also receive your donor's childhood pictures, a questionnaire completed by the donor containing a complete family medical history (the donor, parents, siblings, grandparents, aunts and uncles), questionnaires completed by the donor regarding his life, interests, and goals, and an audio recording of an interview with the donor. Some donors provide art projects, musical compositions, poems, or other creative work.

This is a recent change. In the 70's when we looked into this the only thing provided was a medical history. Donor sperm have been used since the 60's and it is very difficult for the child to learn the identity of the bio dad. In some cases the records are lost due to sperm banks closing,and/or poor record keeping. And given that a donor could be the bio father of hundreds it's a brave new world.

Nell

[Austin]

The difference is that even in closed adoptions the identities of the parents is known by the agency and the courts. More and more states, slowly but surely, are allowing adult adoptees access to their original birth certificates. Most states allow adult adoptees to do a search through the agency. I was a court mandated intermediary here in MN and helped 100 adoptees and birthparents to reconnect. Thousands of adoptees find their birthparents every year. My adult children all had closed adoptions, they are still reunited. With sperm donors the records are not nearly as complete as with adoptions, there are no laws covering revealing his identity, and many adult children conceived this way don't even know this was how they were conceived as parents lie by omission to them. Also, most birthparents relinquished one child. Sperm donors can have more than 100 offspring.

Nell

Yes, I get that, but "more and more" is a lot different than a guarantee. There are bio parents who do not wish to be contacted, so just finding the bio parent is not the only hurdle. If people want to be reunited, that's fine. If they don't, as was the case with one my in-laws, then they have the right to go on with their lives and really are not obligated to the bio child for anything. This was, at the time, really hard for this relative, but she eventually accepted it as her bio mom's choice and moved on.

Apparently, from the postings of others, some donors are open to having their bio offspring know more about them, as well. So what if there are 100? The donor will make the decision whether he will later be open to contact or not, if it's one or five or fifty. Again, there is no obligation on the part of the donor.

I just don't think using a donor is any more or less moral than adoption is, and don't see where there are substantive differences in the outcome.

[docmom]

I used to babysit for a family whose first child had died of Jeune Syndrome (a kind of dwarfism where the body basically suffocates itself, a terrible way to die) and with a 25% chance of passing it on to each child, they opted for a sperm donor for their other kids. They now have two healthy, gorgeous kids. What were they supposed to do- have two more babies who were possibly doomed to short, painful lives?[/quote]

Yes, that is exactly what they are supposed to do according to the quiverfull manifesto. If you have enough faith, your children will be healthy even if you do carry a genetic disorder. This is one of my main reasons (among many, many) for completely rejecting this whole philosophy. I simply cannot believe in a god that would allow an innocent child to suffer in this way simply because its parents don't have enough (or the right) faith.

[starfish]

The Stinking Fishwife hates Facebook almost as much as pizza, btw.

That doesn't surprise me.

In my quick persusal of the Stinker's site today, I noticed that she and her loyal followers are using the word "creepy" a lot. (Which if funny, b/c it's a word I use to describe her). Sock puppetry?

I think she's writing her own comments.

Hey Stinking Fishwife, use another adjective besides "creepy" in all your posts and fake comments from fake followers.

[jenny_islander]

I think there should be an anonymous clearinghouse for medical histories. Adopted children could post requests for medical info from their bio parents, who could choose to provide it with identifying info blacked out. Or bio parents who exhibited a genetic condition--or received a diagnosis for an ongoing condition--late in life could post alerts ("Just found out I have breast cancer--so did my mother--I gave birth to a baby girl on XX/XX/19XX in City, State at XYZ Hospital--if this is you please get an exam ASAP.") The information would be channeled through a staff that was bound to confidentiality.

Back on topic: Thinking Housewife=giant misogynist sockpuppet IMO.

[samithemage]

My parents were both in their mid 20's and very religious when they had me. My father died when I was three years old due to alcoholism. Just because you have children when you're young, or the "natural" way, doesn't mean that you'll be young, vibrant, engaged parents. Parenthood has many different meanings. According to TH, my parents would have been ideal, and while I love my mom, we still have our issues, and the issues that I have with my father are to this day (I'm in my late 20's) very painful. Parenthood is not about age or biology. It's about people who are dedicated to their children.

[darkplumaged]

The Stinking Fishwife hates Facebook almost as much as pizza, btw.

That doesn't surprise me.

In my quick persusal of the Stinker's site today, I noticed that she and her loyal followers are using the word "creepy" a lot. (Which if funny, b/c it's a word I use to describe her). Sock puppetry?

I think she's writing her own comments.

Hey Stinking Fishwife, use another adjective besides "creepy" in all your posts and fake comments from fake followers.

Oh, "she" absolutely writes her own comments. Most if not all of them.

[roddma]

But it is ok for Michelle Duggar and Kelly Bates to continue getting pregnant even with complications in their 40's and not ok for anyone else to wait on the ideal time and have fewer kids?

[GolightlyGrrl]

Vomit, the Non-Thinking Housewife is having a fundraising drive. Yea, I know of a fundraising drive. It's called a job.

http://www.thinkinghousewife.com/wp/201 ... dge-drive/

[NurseNell]

Vomit, the Non-Thinking Housewife is having a fundraising drive. Yea, I know of a fundraising drive. It's called a job.

http://www.thinkinghousewife.com/wp/201 ... dge-drive/

Can't her headship provide her with the money for her other projects, whatever they are? I mean really, she's opposed to women working but it's OK to ask others to donate money so you can have projects? :o I'll be damned if I'll give her any of my hard earned money. :evil:

Nell

[Maggie Mae]

But it is ok for Michelle Duggar and Kelly Bates to continue getting pregnant even with complications in their 40's and not ok for anyone else to wait on the ideal time and have fewer kids?

Well I'd assume that "she" thinks that's alright because they started young and have lots of older kids to take care of the young ones.

[Kitty]

My dad was 44 when I was born. Of course, I wasn't his first child; my older half-sister was 21. Dad divorced her mother, and then married mine some years later. My mom was just shy of 28 when I was born, and almost 30 when she had my sister.

Of course, my mother gave birth with no painkillers (in the hospital...there's a story about why she didn't have painkillers when having me...) and there were no test-tube shenanigans involved. Yes, back in 1992 and 1993...

I bet TH would still bitch about my dad already having been divorced, years before even meeting my mom. They've been married 21 years now, though, so they have to be doing *something* right.

[myanimus]

Vomit, the Non-Thinking Housewife is having a fundraising drive. Yea, I know of a fundraising drive. It's called a job.

http://www.thinkinghousewife.com/wp/201 ... dge-drive/

Is she out of her rabid-ass mind???

In the almost 900 days I have run this small corner of the Internet, my income, which comes entirely from generous readers, has totaled less than $4 per day. Unfortunately, this is not enough to keep me from other projects

K, I was going to say something about the $3,600 in 900 days but I'm frustrated and seem unable to know where to begin... Either way, she could always, GET A JOB!

[myanimus]

Laura writes:

You are not crazy, and thank you very much for your donation.

I hope readers who have saved money on expensive psychotherapy after having their intuitions confirmed here, might consider donating too. : – )

K, yup, she really is out of her rabid-ass mind!