Maxwell 10: Following the 15 minute schedule and the monthly menu

[Eternalbluepearl]

1 hour ago, Foudeb said:

Ah, Maxhell, that special place where a child of 5 understands theology and a woman of 30 can't be trusted to have a bedroom of her own.

This is such an apt description. It should be the slogan on Titus 2!

 

A few thoughts on the baptism post:

Do people really do balloon releases? It's only fundies on TV (The Bates) or fundies in blogs (Zsu, Maxwells) that I've ever seen do this. It's not a good idea. What the hell? 

Does Christina's dad (I can never keep the Maxwell men's names straight besides Steve.) need to be wearing business casual standing in the swimming pool? Maybe at least swim trunks? 

I highly doubt the air held a feeling of anticipation. It was a little girl getting baptized. Into a cult she was already born into. Yawn. Pass the snacks. 

[usmcmom]

Were there hurricane-force winds the day of the baptism, forcing Joseph to hold tiny Elissa in place?? 

Holy cow, Joe!! Nobody's gonna steal your girl. Relax. 

[albanuadh_1]

Wonder who is the one in shorts?  Do the Maxwells have a code word like Nike? lol

[SPHASH]

25 minutes ago, usmcmom said:

Were there hurricane-force winds the day of the baptism, forcing Joseph to hold tiny Elissa in place?? 

Holy cow, Joe!! Nobody's gonna steal your girl. Relax.

I noticed that too.  In every pic they are holding hands, even where Smug Joe is holding Calia.  Is he afraid Invisible Elissa is gonna run away?  Elizabeth Munck sure lucked out.  Does Elissa look pregnant to anyone?

[mango_fandango]

Hmm. Josh is the same age as Tina. He's also the oldest grandson. Wonder if he'll get a baptism post? Wonder why he didn't get done at the same time as Tina? 

Interesting that there was a woman there (one of Melanie's sisters?) who was wearing SHORTS. 

In both photos of Benjamin he is not being held very safely. He's only, what, four months? Should he really be being held like that???

[anjulibai]

Is it me or does this baptism seem like more of an occasion than Abby and Bethany's? She's even in a special white outfit, while the other girls were in normal clothes. 

[Granwych]

16 hours ago, SPHASH said:

Anyone gotta link to Prissy Chris and Amish Anna's wedding video? After hearing Sarah Huckabee Sanders defend Trump today I need a good laugh.

I need a drink after hearing Sarah talk about anything.  I needed several while watching Priss & Amish's wedding.

[IReallyAmHopewell]

Couldn't stop myself. I corrected her. BAPTISTERY not baptismal. I pointed out that baptismal describes something. Like baptismal pool.  geesh

[Tater_Toddler]

Tina is such a cute little girl. She still seems to have some spark. I hope they don't take it out of her. 

The woman in shorts is probably a relative of Melanie's but I'm surprised by how much she looks like Elissa. Not that it would really make sense for one of Elissa's relatives to be there. 

[danvillebelle]

I realize I'm in a distinct minority here and I don't expect anyone to agree with me, but....

As an Orthodox gal...a father (with no theological training or hint of ordination or spiritual authority other than his family cult leader father) performing his own child's baptism in a swimming pool makes me nine kinds of stabby.

Carry on.

 

[Closed Womb]

I guess non-Maxwell cousins don't have names.  Just "cousin (Melanie's side.)"

[SPHASH]

1 hour ago, Closed Womb said:

I guess non-Maxwell cousins don't have names.  Just "cousin (Melanie's side.)"

Better to have no names than to be called (insert first name) Marie.  Guess Sarah just had to point out that cousin is a Maher and not a Maxwell he isn't godly.

[grammyj]

That little Tina is really getting cute. 

Of course, Steve had to "share a message" at her baptism.  Um  hum.  AFAIK, neither he nor any of his sons (heaven forbid--any females in family) is  ordained.  Sore point for me.  I know anyone can baptize in an emergency, but where's the respect for Christian tradition among that crew?  Ignore tradition, twist legalism into as many shapes as they can before it pops. Also feel stabby. Need to take a break, I  guess.

So Steve and his ilk answer to no one on earth, right?  Cult for sure.  

[kpmom]

50 minutes ago, grammyj said:

 

Of course, Steve had to "share a message" at her baptism.  Um  hum.  AFAIK, neither he nor any of his sons (heaven forbid--any females in family) is  ordained.  Sore point for me.  I know anyone can baptize in an emergency, but where's the respect for Christian tradition among that crew?  Ignore tradition, twist legalism into as many shapes as they can before it pops. Also feel stabby. Need to take a break, I  guess.

So Steve and his ilk answer to no one on earth, right?  Cult for sure.  

Steve calls himself a pastor (and Teri calls herself a pastor's wife)!!

According to their web site, they've now named their "church" Amazing Grace Baptist Church.  Their site says they "attend" this church, but it is the same old nursing home "church" they've been running all these years.

AFAIK he has no formal religious training.

[Jingerale]

8 hours ago, SPHASH said:

I noticed that too.  In every pic they are holding hands, even where Smug Joe is holding Calia.  Is he afraid Invisible Elissa is gonna run away?  Elizabeth Munck sure lucked out.  Does Elissa look pregnant to anyone?

Maybe they (still) enjoy the hand sex? 

[SPHASH]

  Here's the congregation minus Prissy Chris, Amish Anna and their kids.  God does Invisible Elissa ever let go of Smug Joe?

[CyborgKin]

If you want to get baptised, do it properly!

 

2 hours ago, grammyj said:

 I know anyone can baptize in an emergency, but where's the respect for Christian tradition among that crew?  Ignore tradition, twist legalism into as many shapes as they can before it pops. Also feel stabby. Need to take a break, I  guess.

I can't actually find these guidelines in my Bible

[socalrules]

So I help out at my church (Catholic, so not fundy approved) for baptisms and nearly everyone is nicely dressed and not in super casual wear. Our church is very casual for regular masses. I don't get not being nicely dressed for an event you hold on such high regard. The Maxwells were better dressed when they went to the music thing. 

[Eternalbluepearl]

Honestly, the more I see of this family, the more creeped out I get. I'm starting to believe that Steve's kids, daughters especially, wouldn't know if something was off. They really have been controlled. 

[divadivine]

Nothing like baptizing your child in an above ground in someone's backyard while wearing your plaid button down and jeans. 

I remember an episode of Saturday Night Live from the early 80's with a record album for Jesus In Blue Jeans.... that's all I can think of seeing this baptism. 

 

[Jana814]

Christina getting baptized was probably influenced by her sisters. She is not even 5 yet. 

[purjolok84]

3 hours ago, SPHASH said:

Here's the congregation minus Prissy Chris, Amish Anna and their kids.  God does Invisible Elissa ever let go of Smug Joe?

Slight conspiracy theory, but do we even know if Prissy Chrissy and family attend Stevehovah's church on a full time basis like everyone else? Maybe that's why they're not in the photo and Josh hasn't been baptised yet ... extremely minute religious differences in faith?

[mango_fandango]

58 minutes ago, Jana814 said:

Christina getting baptized was probably influenced by her sisters. She is not even 5 yet. 

She is actually. She was born June 15th 2012. I reckon the baptism was only in the last week or so. Bethany was baptised in February 2015 when she was only four.

[Jana814]

7 hours ago, purjolok84 said:

Slight conspiracy theory, but do we even know if Prissy Chrissy and family attend Stevehovah's church on a full time basis like everyone else? Maybe that's why they're not in the photo and Josh hasn't been baptised yet ... extremely minute religious differences in faith?

I'm sure they attend his church. I don't think Steve would allow them to go to another one. It is odd that Christopher's family was not in the photo. 

[Eternalbluepearl]

6 hours ago, mango_fandango said:

She is actually. She was born June 15th 2012. I reckon the baptism was only in the last week or so. Bethany was baptised in February 2015 when she was only four.

So catholics are wrong for baptizing infants, but a 4 year old is different? Bizarre.