Counting On: Season Four Part 3

[bella8050]

11 hours ago, Chewing Gum said:

Jinger would not be on the pill, not even under her new headship, because of the public negative attention her parents gave to it. So either condoms, NFP or leaving the church early . I wonder if "I prayed on it and felt God wanted me to wait" falls under leaving it up to God as well?

I suspect a baby around their second annoversary. Just a guess ofcourse. 

I can see around their second anniverisary as well. If they waited till then I'd say there's a good chance of them having a "normal" sized family, maybe six kids max with decent spacing in between. 

[VeryNikeSeamstress]

I think if JinJer are practicing birth control it's through NFP or withdrawal. I used those methods a fair bit for a good chunk of my late teens/early 20's (while in committed relationships), and only got pregnant once. In my case, I terminated it pretty quickly because I had no benefits, a physically demanding job, and the man who impregnated me was a lying cheating sociopath. If JinJer get accidentally pregnant, they'll just chalk it up to God's will.

[MoonFace]

19 hours ago, fluffernutter said:

I LOVE what Jeremy said regarding five years. 

That caught my attention as well.   

So, former fundies or those in the know:   If a fundie girl (no, being married doesn't make you a woman) marries and her husband believes in family planning,  either by the NFP method or even using condoms, isn't the wife between a rock and a hard place (no pun intended) because she has been taught that they will take all the children the Lord sends them - and here is the husband (her headship) telling her we will use the brain the Lord gave us as far as making sure we don't have more children that we feel that the Lord would want us to have if we use my upper brain? 

Or in other words;  We're going to decide how many kids would be good for us. 

[Screamapillar]

4 hours ago, VelociRapture said:

(And its the type of party my daughter will have in December. No way am I going to kill myself planning a big, elaborate party she won't even remember. Give me good food, delicious cake, and some basic decorations. Maybe I'll get real crazy and pick a theme for the party too! Lol!)

We're going to the beach the week of my daughter's first birthday, partly because I don't want to throw her a big elaborate party that she won't remember. We'll have the cake smash and some balloons and gifts and of course a lot of "YAY!!!!! It's your birthday!!!!!" but no party. The grandparents will probably join us at the beach for the celebration, and that's it. By the time she's 2 or 3 and has made actual friends and knows what's going on I know I'll have to throw her parties, but even then I'm still thinking just casual backyard things.

My birthday almost always fell on Spring Break or on Easter weekend when I was growing up so I got a lot of tiny parties because no one was in town. I don't think I cared too much. (I was mostly interested in whatever presents my parents had gotten me lol) With my daughter having been born the day after Labor Day I think we might have the same problem with her.

[MoonFace]

Why, in the name of Rufus, did they haul all those kids to go shopping?   What are fathers doing?   Why not ask Sister/Aunt/Mom Jana to help?    DAAAAAAYUUUUUUUUUUUMMMMMMMMM

[Irene]

1 hour ago, bella8050 said:

I can see around their second anniverisary as well. If they waited till then I'd say there's a good chance of them having a "normal" sized family, maybe six kids max with decent spacing in between. 

Is that normail size familie?

Little bitt of topic, but where are most of you guys from?

[MoonFace]

Just now, Irene said:

Is that normail size familie?

Little bitt of topic, but where are most of you guys from?

I don't consider six kids a normal sized family.    Two would be it - possibly three.    Seems like I've seen more young families with three rather than two kids.   

 

[Irene]

Just now, MoonFace said:

I don't consider six kids a normal sized family.    Two would be it - possibly three.    Seems like I've seen more young families with three rather than two kids.   

 

I am from Norway, I agree, even do here its has been since the at least the 80s normal to have 3 as well  but yeah 2-3 kids

But I can see the "kids" having 10 pluss, except Jinger since she is cleary (in my apotmnet) not pregnet yet.

Sorry for my english, not my first launguage aslo writing probel, I hope undersatnd

1 hour ago, VeryNikeSeamstress said:

I think if JinJer are practicing birth control it's through NFP or withdrawal. I

IF she is not pregnat in a year I belive so do,

But what is NFP?

I dont belive she is taking the pill, not yet anyway.

[nst]

16 minutes ago, MoonFace said:

Why, in the name of Rufus, did they haul all those kids to go shopping?   What are fathers doing?   Why not ask Sister/Aunt/Mom Jana to help?   

Perhaps to show us how Godly woman can handle anything. Showing Anna at this point is a joke because she clearly still wants to be Michelle.2.  She acts like it and sounds like it.

a day at the beach would have been more believable.

[singsingsing]

I think people are forgetting how anti hormonal birth control the Duggars and their ilk actually are. Like, yes, they're basically against birth control in general, but hormonal birth control is especially evil. Jinger has been raised to believe the the birth control pill murders babies. The fact that she married a very conservative pastor and is excited to help out at their church's crisis pregnancy centre leads me to believe that she's probably not on the pill. It would be a huge mental leap for her to get there. Even a lot of regular old conservative Christians have moral qualms about hormonal bc, whereas they might be fine with barrier methods. If Jinger were on hormonal birth control it would constitute an enormous departure from the value system she's been indoctrinated in since birth, and while that's obviously possible, I just don't see any evidence pointing in that direction. 

[Irene]

Howwer I knew ONE family of 9 children (Pentecostals).

I belive that they take birth controll, but beleives that abortion is evil no mather what.

[Daisy0322]

I'd say 2-4 kids is normal. I come from a big family though my dad is number 7 of 8 and everyonevtends to marry younger.

[Irene]

6 minutes ago, nst said:

Perhaps to show us how Godly woman can handle anything. Showing Anna at this point is a joke because she clearly still wants to be Michelle.2.  She acts like it and sounds like it.

a day at the beach would have been more believable.

Who is Rufus? Ist that guy in the relgion, who quit of the scandal of sexuelle uisng og teengager/woman? That eather the duggar or the bates had the cake to in the wedding? was that Erin?

Who preach how do deal with incest in the familu, how it always the girls fault?

[Jana814]

I'm in northern New Jersery the amount of kids per family is usually 2 sometimes 3. I know of families who have more. 

[Irene]

4 minutes ago, nst said:

Showing Anna at this point is a joke because she clearly still wants to be Michelle.2.  She acts like it and sounds like it.

a day at the beach would have been more believable.

I agree, she cleary sees up to Michelle.

2 minutes ago, Jana814 said:

I'm in northern New Jersery the amount of kids per family is usually 2 sometimes 3. I know of families who have more. 

I only know one family in Norway (oslo), who has more then 3, they come from a ver relgius family of 9.  @singsingsingis it alot one hard core relgion who belive somewhat what the duggar/bates belives , and witch relgion.

I was kinda hopping that it was a small porsond, but only come up knoe bc of duggar, bates and sister wifes and so one..

[SayWhat]

32 minutes ago, MoonFace said:

Why, in the name of Rufus, did they haul all those kids to go shopping?   What are fathers doing?   Why not ask Sister/Aunt/Mom Jana to help?    DAAAAAAYUUUUUUUUUUUMMMMMMMMM

Just watched the episode on DVR and that was my exact question, where were all the Dads of all the blessings ?  Why the heck would Anna drag all those kids shopping ?   I said to my self,  Self you know the  answer to that question.   Anna  wants to be martyr mom,  the model of perfect fundie wife.  Hence trying to manager all those children and shop. It was an epic fail as they ended up at the doctors office.  (Yes I know kids get hurt, have accidents happen  no matter how attentive the parents are)   And  all those kids in a store keep things interesting for the TLC ratings.  At least Anna didn't reach for her cell  phone and start recording, like some other Mom did, when her kid was injured.  

[Irene]

13 minutes ago, SayWhat said:

   Anna  wants to be martyr mom,  the model of perfect fundie wife.  

Are you sure? I kinda agree but I also think its alot to her bringing, She doesnt know any diffrent.

[SayWhat]

 

My guess is Babe & Jinge  are NFP, barrier method, or withdraw method.  I'd bet money that  that Jeremy has much more knowledge about birth control than any of the Duggar kid-adults, including Bin & D-wreck.   I will really  believe it if no baby bump within a year and no ala Michael (whatever her last name is now) Bates type episodes, showing they want to get preggo but can't for whatever reason.  

[TeamDefraudinSquad]

I doubt Jinger got an IUD, or is on the birth control pill. I actually thought I remembered reading someplace that IUDs were considered worse than being on the pill by fundie standards, but I can't remember the reason why exactly   I also doubt Jeremy is using condoms, because such a high priority is placed on male pleasure and happiness in fundie-dom, and I doubt he'd make any concessions in that area if it inconvenienced him in any way .

When all the older girls still lived at the TTH, I'm guessing the purpose of having them chart when Mee-shelle was fertile (...vomit ...) was so that they would understand how to chart their own fertility someday. Presumably she taught them that thinking they'd maximize their chances of concieving tons of babies for the Lord someday, and not for the purpose of preventing pregnancy, but that information could be used to avoid sex during fertile periods just as easily. 

[onekidanddone]

1 hour ago, MoonFace said:

Why, in the name of Rufus, did they haul all those kids to go shopping?   What are fathers doing?   Why not ask Sister/Aunt/Mom Jana to help?    DAAAAAAYUUUUUUUUUUUMMMMMMMMM

Sweet Rufus on high when I was a single parent I'd jump for joy if I always had somebody to watch my daughter when I had to shop and I only have one. Makes for better TV if they show Duggar woman with their broods after all if Rufus sees fit to give them eleventy billion children they must be able to handle them at the store.

[SayWhat]

21 hours ago, HarryPotterFan said:

I would too. That sounds amazing. 5 pounds of cheese and the anointed day of the rise of Rufus. What more could a girl ask for.

Luv me some fresh mozz.  I could live on caprese with a bit of Sauvignon Blanc.  

[eye_browz]

1 hour ago, MoonFace said:

isn't the wife between a rock and a hard place (no pun intended) because she has been taught that they will take all the children the Lord sends them - and here is the husband (her headship) telling her we will use the brain the Lord gave us as far as making sure we don't have more children that we feel that the Lord would want us to have if we use my upper brain?

I've thought about this. We really don't know how many children Jinger wants.

MY THOUGHTS: Because of the way Jinger was raised, I can see her feeling deeply conflicted about wanting to have children and wanting to please her husband. She is expected to have lots of children within her marriage. Her friends have large families (the Bates, etc). This is her world and she's been taught this her whole life. Essentially, they've pretty much said that if you prevent children (God's blessings) via birth control, then you will be punished (you'll have a miscarriage or fertility issues). She marries Jeremy and let's assume he uses condoms. It's very possible that she doesn't like it but wants to "keep sweet" and obey her husband's wishes. They're still newlyweds and I doubt Jinger has argued with her husband yet.

I noticed that Jinger always uncomfortably looks at Jeremy when someone asks about having kids. I noticed that before the marriage as well. In contrast, Jim Bob always publicly stated that it's Michelle's choice if she wants another child, and Michelle always said "I would love more children!".

I can't imagine the pressure she feels. She clearly loves Jeremy. But if (when) Joy Anna gets pregnant ASAP, then her family is going to look at her strange and she'll feel even more pressure. And the rumor is that Joe and Kendra are getting married in September. Even they could be pregnant by the end of the year, before Jinger.

It won't be long before Jim Bob and Michelle pull Jinger and Jeremy to the side and ask them about their lack of children. ALTHOUGH IT'S NONE OF THEIR BUSINESS!

I wish I was a fly on the wall whenever Jessa and Jinger talk on the phone. Hopefully, she would confide in Jessa about it. 

However, if Jinger truly wants a child, as a woman, she could easily try. She just has to monitor the amount of condoms in the house, and when they run out, she should initiate sex. Or when they go out of town to New York or Arkansas, she can be responsible for packing their luggage and "conveniently forget" to pack the condoms, then have sex. OR, she could simply talk to her husband about it!

It's totally up to them, and it's none of my business. I'm just curious about her real feelings about having kids since she always looks at Jeremy when the topic is discussed publicly. 

[MoonFace]

I wonder about some of this ^.    

Didn't Bobblehead check out Jeremy's convictions about children?   I can't imagine that he shied away from asking about that - after all, he had no problem asking about finances and supporting his daughter.  

It must be such a conflict for someone like Jinger, a fundie that is raised to believe family 'planning' is wrong - that you accept what the Lord gives you for children, then her husband, a preacher (IIRC he did not attend seminary school to become a minister)  is now telling her this is fine - like wearing pants is fine and having a drink once in a while is ok.   

If she tried any of those little games you listed above she'd be defying her headship and that's wrong too in her world. 

I do think that in some ways our little Jinger did get some freedoms - whether she sees them as freedoms or conflicts to the things she was raised to believe is another issue.   

She must have some real conflicts going on 

[bella8050]

1 hour ago, Irene said:

Is that normail size familie?

Little bitt of topic, but where are most of you guys from?

Well if they had 6 that would still be a large family but that is still within a normal range to me. I am an only child but I grew up with a lot of friends that had 4-5 kids in the family. The biggest had 7. I was the odd ball out, no other only kids in any school I went to, in NY in the mid 80s to early 90s.

[jerkit]

IUDs are "worse" than the pill because they prevent implantation whereas the primary action of the pill is to prevent ovulation.

 

ETA: according to fundies. I have an IUD so I am obviously pro-IUD