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A totally accurate and in no way sarcastic Bates Cheat Sheet


VelociRapture

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1 minute ago, Satan'sFortress said:

Thanks for doing these summaries. I've only seen the Bateseseseses on Whatever # of Kids and Counting, so it was very interesting to read the details & compare and contrast to the Duggars.

And, in one of those I can't even believe I noticed something like this, and why do I even give a fuck, the puppy update for . . . . crap, is the kid's name Brandon??  says that it was for his first birthday, but according to your cheat sheet, he's really 3 now.  Is that right?  So, I care a little, but not enough to go and check.  :my_rolleyes:

Lol! Two GrandBateses got dogs. Carson Paine (turns 3 in May) got a lab/beagle mix named Max in July of last year. His cousin, Bradley Bates, was just given a beagle puppy by his mom’s parents for his third birthday.

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Links to Instagram accounts have been added at the tips of each summary. Private accounts have been labeled as such, though I didn’t link to the Webster’s private accounts.

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  • 1 month later...

May that bizarre Lawson on a horse photo live on forever.

It may  assault my eyes when I see it but it's still fricken hilarious. I hope that if he ever finds a bride that they recreate this photo on their wedding day.

Edited by Seculardaisy
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Isn't this the family whose patriarch prefers to be called "Master" Bates? If so, that is truly unfortunate.

Edited by The Roman from Ipanema
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2 hours ago, The Roman from Ipanema said:

Isn't this the family whose patriarch prefers to be called "Master" Bates? If so, that is truly unfortunate.

I’ve never heard that one before.

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7 minutes ago, Seculardaisy said:

I’ve never heard that one before.

Well I was wrong about the patriarch part but look at this:

They have somebody named "Master".

 

Does anyone see the irony?

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22 hours ago, Mayluka said:

@The Roman from Ipanema Their names aren't Master... it's a snarky title with a double entendre. Master used to be a title used for boys too young to be called "mister." The innuendo meaning is obviously a reference to the word masturbates. 

Oh, I was going to say that these people are totally oblivious to innuendo.

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48 minutes ago, The Roman from Ipanema said:

Oh, I was going to say that these people are totally oblivious to innuendo.

Correct. It's just an innuendo that FJers used to make, and I've never heard any of the Bates family use it before.

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12 hours ago, Mayluka said:

Correct. It's just an innuendo that FJers used to make, and I've never heard any of the Bates family use it before.

Imagine if they did. :pb_lol:

Edited by Seculardaisy
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Updates - added that Carlin and Josie are courting, the Lawson/Nathan mission trip, and I believe everyone’s ages are correct at the moment.

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2 hours ago, VelociRapture said:

Updates - added that Carlin and Josie are courting, the Lawson/Nathan mission trip, and I believe everyone’s ages are correct at the moment.

You're the best! Glad you're back. I really hope you're feeling better. We need an anxiety group. <3

 

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2 hours ago, Nikedagain? said:

You're the best! Glad you're back. I really hope you're feeling better. We need an anxiety group. <3

 

Thank you. I’m feeling a lot better with the medicine out of my system now. I’m mostly planning to just update these summary threads and briefly share any news I see that hasn’t been mentioned yet (like Joseph and Kendra Duggar announcing their baby is a boy.) Other than that, I’ll probably just read through threads more than I post for the foreseeable future. :) 

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  • 1 month later...
On 6/16/2017 at 6:23 PM, VelociRapture said:

In October 2017, a few weeks before Bradley’s first birthday, they welcomed an 8 week old Beagle puppy into the family.

This is a super small thing @VelociRapture, but upon rereading this should be Bradley's third birthday right? 

And maybe we should add that Evan is studying to be an electrician?

Anyway, LOVE having these summaries. So helpful for new posters. 

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53 minutes ago, neurogirl said:

This is a super small thing @VelociRapture, but upon rereading this should be Bradley's third birthday right? 

And maybe we should add that Evan is studying to be an electrician?

Anyway, LOVE having these summaries. So helpful for new posters. 

Ugh. I hate when I type the wrong thing. :pb_lol:

I’ll fix it and add the part about Fundie Zoolander. Thanks!

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thank you for all this. two things. 1. you may want to fix the link to the tori/bobby insta since they changed it. and two. can you add the information about Kelton's parents. 

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1 hour ago, Ivycoveredtower said:

thank you for all this. two things. 1. you may want to fix the link to the tori/bobby insta since they changed it. and two. can you add the information about Kelton's parents. 

Done and done.

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Updates: Added new photos for Erin and Alyssa, as well as brief information about their latest blessings.

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  • 3 weeks later...

you should add how Nathan is a creepy Jack ass who cares way to much about his sister's hair choices. 

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23 hours ago, Ivycoveredtower said:

you should add how Nathan is a creepy Jack ass who cares way to much about his sister's hair choices. 

I meant to add this and forgot. Thanks, it’s been updated. :) 

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  • 3 weeks later...

Updates:

- Tori’s pregnancy has been added.

- Tori, Trace, and Josie’s graduations were added.

- Ages for various people updated.

- New photo of Katie with her rumored love.

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2 hours ago, VelociRapture said:

New photo of Katie with her rumored love.

Wait, what?

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32 minutes ago, TeaELSee said:

Wait, what?

It’s a joke about her undying love for ice cream. 

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