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A totally accurate and in no way sarcastic Bates Cheat Sheet


VelociRapture

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3 hours ago, VelociRapture said:

snip

3. Alyssa Bates' wedding colors were bright pink and bright blue. So, basically, it looked like a unicorn vomited all over the wedding - which is fitting because she married at 19.

4.  David Waller (bless his little pecan loving heart) is always pretty great at sharing photos of where the Bateses actually are and tagging them in the photo. I'm pretty sure that's the only thing David Waller is good for (other than being the best Keller SIL so far.)

3. With Alyssa's wedding, I half-expected that Hello Kitty or My Little Pony would make an appearance. I mean, it's nice she got to have what she wanted, since I assume the Bates kids, especially before TV money, often didn't get much, but the whole production seemed very young.

4. Talk about setting the bar so low it is barely off the ground. It would be extremely difficult to be worse than John Shrader and Joshley.

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7 hours ago, VelociRapture said:

I'm pretty sure that's the only thing David Waller is good for (other than being the best Keller SIL so far.)

 

3 hours ago, GreyhoundFan said:

4. Talk about setting the bar so low it is barely off the ground. It would be extremely difficult to be worse than John Shrader and Joshley.

When his competition is Shrader and Joshley, is it really fair even calling it a competition?

Edited by bashfulpixie
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Erin had the princess bedroom after marriage. Baby pink with a canopy. I think Jessa made a huge wtf face when she saw it.

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I believe Erin said she did the princess bedroom when she got married because she never got that when she was young. 

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On 6/17/2017 at 11:35 PM, RosyDaisy said:

Wait, wait, wait. Josie may have a "special friend"? This is the first time I've heard this. Details?

I noticed during a recent episode (Carlin traveling  to visit Evan) Whitney mentioned, during a TH with Zach, how young the girls were when she first met them and how hard it was to believe that Josie and Carlin had boyfriends or something to that effect.  I even rewound it to double check and she clearly said Josie and Carlin.  I never heard or saw anything else about it it though.

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One small addition--Zach has already been elected to office--he was an Anderson County Commissioner for 6 years (https://www.linkedin.com/in/zach-bates-67533890). He then ran for the equivalent of county executive and lost. He is currently a Deputy with the County Sheriff's Department, having graduated from police training. 

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Thank you so much for this catch up. Awesome job filling us latecomers in with much needed information.  

The Bates show is much easier for me to watch than the Duggars only because in spite of them saying they followed the abusive Pearl book, the kids seem very emotionally connected to the parents ( Kelly and Gil hold babies) .  I had to stop watching the Duggars because Jill especially is like Michelle and never touches her baby. Michelle seems so awkward holding her grandchildren where Kelly actually seems to enjoy it. 

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I noticed during a recent episode (Carlin traveling  to visit Evan) Whitney mentioned, during a TH with Zach, how young the girls were when she first met them and how hard it was to believe that Josie and Carlin had boyfriends or something to that effect.  I even rewound it to double check and she clearly said Josie and Carlin.  I never heard or saw anything else about it it though.

I completely missed that! Thanks!
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4 hours ago, grt42btexan said:

Thank you so much for this catch up. Awesome job filling us latecomers in with much needed information.  

The Bates show is much easier for me to watch than the Duggars only because in spite of them saying they followed the abusive Pearl book, the kids seem very emotionally connected to the parents ( Kelly and Gil hold babies) .  I had to stop watching the Duggars because Jill especially is like Michelle and never touches her baby. Michelle seems so awkward holding her grandchildren where Kelly actually seems to enjoy it. 

Youre welcome!

One thing though - you need to remember that you can't accurately judge anything based off their shows. They're highly edited, very small snippets of their lives. Most of what you see really isn't reality - it's staged and presented in a way the producers and network feels is best. 

Jill is likely a more involved parent than their show suggests - considering she spends so much time in SCA, shes bound to be more involved than what's shown. And the Bateses definitely aren't the normal family they claim to be either. Just keep that in mind if you keep watching.

(And keep in mind, four Duggar daughters were molested by Josh and don't seem to have ever received proper help to deal with it in a healthy manner. The Bateses, to our knowledge, don't have that to contend with. So any awkwardness you see in the Duggars could very well be because of that.)

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This was fantastic. Thank you for doing this. Oh, but I'm defrauded. Nike! Nike! My eyes. Oh the humanity. 

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There is one small quibble with the entry on Kelly and Gil.  They met while they were students at Anderson College which is affiliated with the SC Baptist Convention.  It was a junior college when Gil and Kelly attended.  They transferred to Carson-Newman College which is affiliated with the Tennessee (Southern) Baptist Convention.  Neither school is IFB, but Southern Baptist.  Of course, the SB Convention is much more fundie than it used to be.  

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I find it interesting Kelly and Gill give off this oh we weren't really interested in a large family line. Within a month of their marriage according to Kelly she brought up leaving family size in the hands of God. I want to say she was pregnant by their first anniversary and from what I can tell never established a career.

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On 19/06/2017 at 4:48 AM, anjulibai said:

I believe Erin said she did the princess bedroom when she got married because she never got that when she was young. 

Yes, and if I remember rightly Chad was actually really sweet about it. Didn't he make some comment about how if Erin was happy he was happy?

On 19/06/2017 at 1:21 AM, bashfulpixie said:

I'm pretty sure that's the only thing David Waller is good for (other than being the best Keller SIL so far.)

At first my brain read this as sister-in-law, and I snorted.

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11 hours ago, PennySycamore said:

There is one small quibble with the entry on Kelly and Gil.  They met while they were students at Anderson College which is affiliated with the SC Baptist Convention.  It was a junior college when Gil and Kelly attended.  They transferred to Carson-Newman College which is affiliated with the Tennessee (Southern) Baptist Convention.  Neither school is IFB, but Southern Baptist.  Of course, the SB Convention is much more fundie than it used to be.  

Professor Michael Eric Dyson (class of 1985)  appears to have been a few years ahead of them at Carson-Newman: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Michael_Eric_Dyson

Can you imagine him and Gil or Kelly in class together?

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This is great @VelociRapture.  Thank you for doing this.  

Can this be done for other fundi families?  Sure makes it easier to try and figure out who is who and belongs to who etc.  

 

Edited by doubleT
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5 hours ago, BobTheWalrus said:

Yes, and if I remember rightly Chad was actually really sweet about it. Didn't he make some comment about how if Erin was happy he was happy?

Yes, he was completely cool with it.   I have noticed recently that the bedroom is no longer pink so it seems Erin got it out of her system.  But I can completely understand why she wanted it.    

Frankly I think all of the married kids not only found they freedom to do things they couldn't or get things they wanted when under their parent's roof, they are all loving it.    I get that sense from every one of them.

Must also be nice not to be on CCTV all the time either.   I can never get over that one.

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7 hours ago, BobTheWalrus said:

At first my brain read this as sister-in-law, and I snorted.

Is SIL not supposed to mean sister-in-law? I thought it was an intentional joke lol.

EDIT: As soon as I hit post I figured out it's supposed to stand for son-in-law. Whoops.

Edited by VineHeart137
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@VelociRapture, you are AWESOME! I loved reading your summary on the Badesees (although I was late for class afterwards ;-) )

Reading about them reminded me how close all her births were. To me, Kelly is the definition of a brood mare. Especially since most of her births were unmedicated home births. If she had twins, she could have easily hit the magic 20+ mark. 

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3 hours ago, doubleT said:

This is great @VelociRapture.  Thank you for doing this.  

Can this be done for other fundi families?  Sure makes it easier to try and figure out who is who and belongs to who etc.  

 

There have been short summaries of other families before. I believe they're located in SOTDRT

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Update: The Admins were very nice and allowed me access to edit the original posts. I think I've added all the information mentioned already. If not let me know and I can try to add it.

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This is amazing @VelociRapture

The only thing from the show that sticks out to me about Warden is that he's been going to Erin's to learn how to cook. He seems like a sweet kid.

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Thanks for this @VelociRapture! I still to this day feel bad for Michael for the name hell her parents have put her through. Of course she seems so sweet and understanding about it all. 

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On 6/19/2017 at 10:34 AM, grt42btexan said:

( Kelly and Gil hold babies)

Holding babies thing seems to be a new thing they started doing for the show and social media. In the original family blog it  stood out how Kelly was almost always positioned as far away from her babies as possible. She didn't even buddy with her babies like Michelle did. She would assign buddies the moment she got pregnant and it was often a fairly young child having to be the sister-mom to a newborn. 

I would love to know what the Bates family was really like. No matter how happy and emotionally stable they make it look, Gil and Kelly have video cameras mounted all over their house to continually monitor their children's movements, that alone would be stressful and that is not a normal thing to do. 

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42 minutes ago, formergothardite said:

I would love to know what the Bates family was really like. No matter how happy and emotionally stable they make it look, Gil and Kelly have video cameras mounted all over their house to continually monitor their children's movements, that alone would be stressful and that is not a normal thing to do. 

Do you think (or have they ever said) what exactly the cameras are for? I wonder if it is a response to finding out about Josh molesting his sisters and being worried it could happen in their family too? Or maybe it's to make sure the kids are being godly in general? Kind of interesting...

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1 hour ago, Eternalbluepearl said:

Do you think (or have they ever said) what exactly the cameras are for? I wonder if it is a response to finding out about Josh molesting his sisters and being worried it could happen in their family too? Or maybe it's to make sure the kids are being godly in general? Kind of interesting...

Kelly stated on the old blog that John David Duggar installed it for them. Never really said why just that it was helpful seeing who was in the house. I'm going to take a wild guess and say they were concerned about their kids putting even the tiniest toe out of line and this made it easier to catch rule breakers.

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