Jinjer: Throwing Shade since April 9, 2017

[foreign fundie]

Honestly, it would be very strange if not only the Duggarlings but all the in-laws too could get along well. I am from a large family myself (though not Duggar-large). There was competition for parental attention and approval. There were some very different personalities with opposite likes and dislikes. There were mental issues. If we would have an outing, holiday or even a special meal, somebody would always throw a fit at some point. I'd say I am close now with half of my siblings. Some I just meet at family functions and speak to as little as possible to avoid saying or doing something that might be misunderstood. I keep the peace, and accept that though we are a family (and if the situation called for it I would do anything for them) we can't all like each other. It is even better to keep some distance to avoid getting hurt.

Back to the Duggars. Them pretending they are all each other's best friends and every in-law fits right in, is one of the things that makes it all so unnatural and unreal. People feel that they are being kept on the dark about stuff and will develop crazy conspiracies to balance the unreal perfection that they see.

Instagram pictures and followings, who is in whose wedding party, looks on camera, lack of smiles or congratulatory videos, remarks in talks and sermons, everything is sourced for evidence of what people feel must be there but what the Duggars are not allowed to say.

And it is rediculous of course. Where is the shame in saying that you are all different and don't like to have so and so as shaperone or you don't think your sister's husband was a good choice, but you will respect her or give them the benefit of the doubt. If you can't show the most basic levels of family reality, you have no business running reality TV.

Nothing is more boring than pretend perfection. Maybe the reason people like us keep following is because we know they are in for a train wreck at some  point and then we can see what we were  right after all

[nst]

With regards to the inlaws I don't have any - but I am assuming that not every in law will be every xmas will be at the Duggars.  I think Jinger is only lovey dovey with Mama V and Papa V - I don't think she could care less for say the Seewalds....plus all these inlaws have other families.  

 

[JermajestyDuggar]

Omg Jinger cut your hair! It will look so much better and be so much cooler in Texas summer weather! I've said this before and I'll say it again. I have Jinger's hair. It is much prettier kept shorter. Chop that off!

[Dubiousclaire]

When I saw that picture of Jinger I thought she looks 12 years old, with the leggings under the dress, side pony tail and headband! 

I hope Jeremy's mom takes her under her wing, and helps her update her hair and wardrobe.  Nothing wrong with what she is wearing, but the preacher probably shouldn't look like he has a child bride. And yes, I know she is probably still a child mentally. 

 

[allthegoodnamesrgone]

Am I the only one bothered by the fact that none of the Duggar girls/women seem to know how to do a proper ponytail?  

And it appears that Jeremy is petty AF with regards to the Dullards and I love it. 

[JermajestyDuggar]

Jinger has natural wave to her hair so a wavy bob in hot Texas wouldn't be that hard for her to deal with every day. And I think it would look great on her facial shape: 

[jerkit]

People in the comments on IG are screeching "baby bump" again. Girlfriend is super thin with a super flat belly. Am I just blind or are they seeing things?

[louisa05]

As someone whose hair apparently invites meddling, can I just say that I think it is not helpful or polite to tell other people what they should or should not do with their hair? 

If Jinger is happy with her hair the way it is, then so be it. 

[allthegoodnamesrgone]

One thing that didn't occur to me until just now, but we can have some SERIOUS sibling rivalries, the likes of the Real Housewives of what ever hell they live in. Turn this shit into an Mexican soap opera!  While the siblings are forced to get along and "love' each other the girls headships were not and most likely will not.  Jeremy is too strong a personality to take a backseat to anyone, and Derrick is a wanna be bad ass missionary preacher person but is really just grifiting to avoid working.  Ben will be interesting in a few years once he's grown up.  Jury is still out on weather or not Austin is a prince or a turd. 

[punkiepie]

In my IFB youth, the "dating" pool was shallow, consisting of boys in my church. My senior year of high school, there were two male suitors vying for my attention- spoiler alert, I said no to both- but it didn't have anything to do with how I felt about them, it was because of their families.  Boy A, who had liked me forever, and who I actually did kinda like, had the strictest, most conservative family in the world.  And while he was a bit of a rebel, I couldn't see myself being forever tied to his family. I gave it a try briefly, but ultimately, I could see that I was going to be the Jezebel of the family, the one bringing him down, so that was the end of that.  Boy B, who was very sweet and always doing kind things for me, his mom was in control of everything. It was her way or the highway about big issues and small issues. And he deferred to her on everything. (His father was dead.)  She would even make his plate for him at potlucks.

 

Years later, I am 100% confident I made the right decision.  Boy A, well his family actually loosened up and became one I wouldn't mind joining if I had stayed in that world, but it was because the boy ended up in jail and they had to do a re-evaluation.  Boy B- I feel sorry for his wife everyday.  My armchair psych eval is that because he felt/feels so controlled by his mom, he totally dominates his wife- he doesn't even let her have a car. She can't make any decisions without running it by his mom first and him second.

 

If the person you want to be with has distanced themselves from their family or is strong enough to stand up against them, that's one thing. But in most cases, you don't just marry the person, you also marry their family and it's important to go into it with your eyes wide open about that. Someone's family shouldn't be the only reason you choose not to be with someone, but it is something you should consider if you think they could have a detrimental effect on you and your marriage.  

[OyToTheVey]

19 hours ago, Darwinesque said:

Off topic, but my 17 year old son is a real movie nerd and every so often I treat him to a classic that I know he's not watched. It's getting hard to think of good ones - that is going straight on the shopping list. Thank you!

I know he's a 17 year old male but the 1950's movies are so good. When Ginger Rogers sings, it's the most amazing thing ever. Has he seen Some Like It Hot? Cliche but it's pretty great. Gangsters, Marilyn Monroe, it's good. I'm on a musical kick lately so I'm also loving Judy Garland. Her voice was magic.

[nausicaa]

9 hours ago, Palindrome said:

Jinger looks so young in that photo! 

I can't get over how young she looks there (and tiny!). If I didn't know the people in that photo, I would assume she was the parents' middle school aged daughter. 

[FeministShrew]

Count me in as another huge fan of Fried Green Tomatoes, especially the book! It's one of those books that I read over and over again.

Maybe it's just me, but Jinger looks like a brunette Shirley Manson (from the band Garbage) from the "World is Not Enough" video in that dress & side ponytail. She's just adorable!

As far as hair goes, I'm letting mine grow back out from a really short cut, because it's just too hot. Maybe I'm weird, but I was much cooler with my hair longer in a ponytail, braid, or bun than even a super short cut where it's on my neck. I seriously sweat like a pig & my hair looks like I didn't even dry it by the time I get from my door to my car.

 

[JermajestyDuggar]

2 hours ago, louisa05 said:

As someone whose hair apparently invites meddling, can I just say that I think it is not helpful or polite to tell other people what they should or should not do with their hair? 

If Jinger is happy with her hair the way it is, then so be it. 

I'm going to assume you had choice in your hairstyle until the age of 23? So you probably didn't really need any input on the topic. You probably went through your own hair experimentation as a teen like many of us did. Jinger's hair choices growing up were long and permed or long and not permed. So she may not know much about changing her hair and who knows if she's happy with it. Let's hope the ladies who have lived in the Texas heat and humidity can give her tips if she is having trouble adjusting. 

[Four is Enough]

I saw FGT but never read the book. Off to Amazon...

[Nikedagain?]

2 hours ago, punkiepie said:

She would even make his plate for him at potlucks.

EWWW.

You dodged a bullet friend!

[BabyBottlePop]

Speaking of the mom making the potluck plate-- I'm currently reading a true crime book where the husband, before he was married, had his mother come to his apartment every week and do his laundry and pin outfits together because he couldn't pair shirts and pants. 

[Carm_88]

4 minutes ago, BabyBottlePop said:

Speaking of the mom making the potluck plate-- I'm currently reading a true crime book where the husband, before he was married, had his mother come to his apartment every week and do his laundry and pin outfits together because he couldn't pair shirts and pants. 

Oh yes of course. One can't murder someone, if you're wearing mismatched clothes. That's just common sense. *sarcasm*

[HandHoldingHeathen]

21 hours ago, PennySycamore said:

@MadeItOut, you comment on the last Jinger thread about reading something as "secret sauce" reminded me of the famous scene in Fried Green Tomatoes where Idgy serves the sheriff the special barbecue that Sipsey made after she hit Ruth's abusive husband in the head with a cast iron skillet.  "The secret's in the sauce".

Best movie ever.

 

That is all.

[OyToTheVey]

I'm guilty of doing the potluck plate for my dad. He'll be the first to tell you that he's babied by us. It's almost instinct, if there's food on the table I'm making him a plate. We're as far from fundie as it gets. I just know he's a picky eater and will only eat like 3 things on the table. Then again, my mom tries to do that for me too. 

[PennySycamore]

@OyToTheVey and @Darwinesque,  Some Like It Hot is playing in some movie theaters here in the US on Wednesday at 2 and 7 PM.  (Yes, I know this may not affect you, @OyToTheVey.  Aren't you in Russia?)  It's great!  No matter how many times I've seen it, it still makes me laugh.  If I could go back in time and see any performer live, it would be Judy.  I'd love to have seen her early 60s concert at Carnegie Hall or, hell, any other performance.  There will never be another like her. 

[SapphireSlytherin]

50 minutes ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

I'm going to assume you had choice in your hairstyle until the age of 23? So you probably didn't really need any input on the topic. You probably went through your own hair experimentation as a teen like many of us did. Jinger's hair choices growing up were long and permed or long and not permed. So she may not know much about changing her hair and who knows if she's happy with it.

I had little say in my hair until I moved out of my parents' house. My mother was rabid about my hair. She kept it in a pixie until I was in double digits. After that, it was only allowed to be marginally longer than pixie until I was in my mid-teens.

I wanted permed/poofy hair SO MUCH (this was the 80s, after all) but wasn't allowed it.

No idea what her fucking hangup about hair was, but the day I moved out, I colored my hair and stopped cutting it. Now it's past my shoulders and it's staying there until I'm 105. Then I may cut it. Or I may grow it down to my ass.

She also - one summer day - took my daughter (age 8 or 9) and had her hair cut. I was SO FUCKING PISSED. I never cut my daughter's hair (other than her bangs) unless she wanted it trimmed/cut. Her hair was her choice. Always.

[OyToTheVey]

17 minutes ago, PennySycamore said:

@OyToTheVey and @Darwinesque,  Some Like It Hot is playing in some movie theaters here in the US on Wednesday at 2 and 7 PM.  (Yes, I know this may not affect you, @OyToTheVey.  Aren't you in Russia?)  It's great!  No matter how many times I've seen it, it still makes me laugh.  If I could go back in time and see any performer live, it would be Judy.  I'd love to have seen her early 60s concert at Carnegie Hall or, hell, any other performance.  There will never be another like her. 

Nope, I'm a Russian American. Been here since I was 5. But sometimes it feels like I'm still there cuz of my neighborhood lol

 

OMG I'd love to see Judy live. That voice was truly special. It's a shame how her life ended up tho. That much talent and so troubled. 

[punkiepie]

24 minutes ago, Nikedagain? said:

EWWW.

You dodged a bullet friend!

Oh, I really did.  I should also mention that he was an able bodied senior in high school with no dietary restrictions.  When I was still on the fence about him, there was a potluck dinner after church- the IFB love them some potlucks!  And when I sat down, he brought over a plate he had already made for me.  I was like, ok, well i guess that's sweet...  After I ate, I went back up for seconds and he was like, what are you doing?  I told him I was getting a few more things that weren't on my plate and he said that I didn't need those things, his mom said they weren't healthy.  Which, I mean, was true- I wanted a piece of fried chicken and chocolate cake, but I didn't need or want some guy telling me that vis-a-vis his mommy!  And that was the end of that. 

[PumaLover]

Speaking of the mom making the potluck plate-- I'm currently reading a true crime book where the husband, before he was married, had his mother come to his apartment every week and do his laundry and pin outfits together because he couldn't pair shirts and pants. 

This sounds a lot like my fundie ex. He was 20 I think and we were dating/courting and playing video games in his room one day. His mom came up and asked us to leave so she could vacuum and change his sheets. I was like, what!?!? That right there was the first red flag that I should have run away, far away, and never looked back. But instead I married him and somehow expected him to be different.

But no, he was always a mama's boy. Took 5 1/2 years but I finally worked up the courage to leave that marriage.

As for Jeremy's sermon, I'm having trouble reading it on my phone as it keeps telling me there was a problem with the forum, try again later. So I'll comment on that when I get to see it.