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Amy and the Pickle 5: Trekking to TLC


choralcrusader8613

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Jesus, Mary and Joseph, I'd rather watch JillyMuffin take fifty baby bump photos with her damn chalkboard and then her full labor and delivery, than Amy and Dillon. These two are pathetic. He's a total douchenozzle, she's a turd whistle. This special is particularly obnoxious. TLC failed epically with this shit. Now they are talking about babies. Good Lord! 

 

Actually in the talking heads Amy reminds me of Tammy Faye Bakker. 

Edited by HumbleJillyMuffin
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Crap, I have the pudgy cheeks too. Now you've made feel like I have something in common with her. Damn!

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I watched this. I don't know why I watched it. I regret that hour deeply. I do like the wooden fireplace idea tho. That was my favorite part of the whole episode. I just don't understand why these 2 are married. They were friends, then they were together for 8 months and got married after 3 month engagement. She's definitely on Duggar time. Girl should have learned by now. I'm pretty sure those 2 are gonna get divorced in a year or 2. 

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It was too painful to watch. I think Amy had no direction and just wanted to be with anyone. He seems so controlling. And Amy is no longer the girl she once was.

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52 minutes ago, nst said:

It was too painful to watch. I think Amy had no direction and just wanted to be with anyone. He seems so controlling. And Amy is no longer the girl she once was.

I do know one thing for certain: she kept saying how she has an irrational fear of having kids and doesn't know why. It doesn't take a phd in psychology to answer that question. She doesn't want to turn out like her cousins. Even if it's subconscious, that's the reason.

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3 hours ago, Jane M. said:

The idea of Amy and Dillon  reproducing is a very scary thought. 

I can't stand him. 

I would feel so very sorry for the child.  I can't stand either of those two.  They are both so shallow, immature, attention-seeking, mean to each other, etc. 

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1 hour ago, Coconut Flan said:

I would feel so very sorry for the child.  I can't stand either of those two.  They are both so shallow, immature, attention-seeking, mean to each other, etc. 

You placed the tater tot on the casserole with your description of Amy and Dillon. They are mean to each other and very shallow. They remind me of one of those couples on House Hunters that are clearly going to be in divorce court in a few years. They keep insulting each other's tastes and wants in a home. Ugh. 

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I was only able to catch the first half of it before work this morning and man, they really do have some serious communication issues. You can really tell she was an only child who always got her way. She gets very defensive any time he has a different idea than she does. She's definitely her own brand of fucked up. Not better or worse than the duggar's brand of fucked up-just a more mainstream version.  It almost seems like she was going through a quarter life crisis with the impending 30 and felt like she had to get married or make some sort of accomplishment prior to that milestone. People put some weird emphasis on turning 30.  Personally, I don't get it-it's just a number, but that's the vibe I was getting from my little bit of viewing.

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I'm not familiar with their relationship beyond the one ep of the podcast I listened to: how are they mean to each other?

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I'm going to take one for the team and recap this hot mess. TLC isn't going to rerun it or put it on their DirectTV OnDemand, but the full episode is on TLC.com. It was so stuffed with commercials that the online version is only 41 minutes.

After some previews of Amy being annoying, we open at their house. It looks new and nicely decorated. Amy explains that they're "the King family" and Dillon says they're not a family yet. Amy coos over her child-substitute cat, puts it on the kitchen counter, and gives it a little dry food or treats. Dillon, who is cooking,  objects. Amy's defensive. They're learning to live with each other. Amy has to live with the bristles from his hipster beard all over her all-white bathroom.

Amy reminds us of TLC's last attempt to make her life interesting, then says she got married instead of pursuing her music career. Uh-huh. We see Dillon's shop - he does "water transfer printing" on vehicles and builds custom trucks. It looks legit. Amy's helping him and learning about the business. 

Dillon makes waffles. Amy accuses him of wanting to make her fat. He says "yes, then you can't run away." She seems to take this obvious joke seriously and says "You have so many issues!" 

Relationship recap: They were best friends for six years before he brought a date to a barbecue and she realized she was jealous. They dated for eight months before he proposed and were engaged for two and a half months. Dillon thinks their 450-guest wedding was "massive."

Getting back to breakfast, Amy hates the smell of bacon cooking, so Dillon makes it just to annoy her. He has a tattoo on his arm. After more bacon-related mutual obnoxiousness, they tell us that their first anniversary and Amy's 30th birthday are coming up. Amy's parents got divorced, so they went on Marriage Boot Camp, which was totes helpful and in no way fame whoring. 

Amy explains that their new relationship skills include getting some space during arguments. Dillon tells her he doesn't feel like that's accurate and she tells him that she hates it when he interrupts. He says that he doesn't need space and she should speak for herself, not both of them.  She says he causes the conflict with how he speaks to her. He says what's important is resolving the conflict. She says she can go away for 15 minutes and then think about positive things, like making up. They're good at making up. She leers. 

They've been renovating their house by themselves (subtext: no help from the Duggars).  They work on the living room before Amy's birthday party. Dillon is surprisingly competent, while Amy ignores his instructions and causes minor damage. Then Amy complains about how he's doing something, and about his attitude towards her criticism, which consists of "looking like he's about to roll his eyes."  He agrees to do it her way, but it's tense. He says she doesn't deal well with stress and she agrees that she's really stressed. Because having to do stuff to an almost totally finished house before a party when you have absolutely nothing whatsoever else to do is HARD, y'all!  The project turns out well, so she makes him say "you were right" a few times. 

It's Amy's birthday. Dillon brings her donuts and milk in bed. The cat drinks the milk. Amy gets her nails done while Dillon gets ready for her not-much-of-a-surprise party. He gets takeout from the ubiquitous Marketplace Grill. Amy's present is a kitten. Animals should not be given as presents. But she did ask for this specific breed of cat. Amy is afraid of clowns and is worried that her surprise is a clown, but it's actually a visit from her friend Lindsey. Friends make rude comments about babies. Amy can't wait to be a mama, but she's terrified of childbirth. She's not sure where the fear comes from - my guess is that Jill loves telling awful birth stories. Babies will "happen naturally" (Amy)/"be an accident" (Dillon). 

They're heading to Mexico for their anniversary. Packing, airport, etc. Villa with private beach. Off to one of the many jungle parks of the Riviera Maya. Ziplining. Ziplining into a cenote and snorkeling there. Food delivery to the villa for a meal on the beach. Amy decides to ask Dillon if he wants kids, apparently for the first time, on camera. He says vaguely "one day," she says "before 35." They're not necessarily planning anything, but not necessarily using birth control (which is trying, dammit!), but they want to travel first... They do manage to agree that they want two boys. Good luck with that. If there isn't a baby soon, Amy will get another cat. Dillon would prefer a baby. Amy gives him a photo album and he gives her a new band to go with her engagement and wedding bands.  Her rings are very nice. They look forward to their second year of marriage; Amy says "babies" and Dillon says "dear God."

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Good grief! The only thing worse than being in a marriage like that, would be to agree to have your interactions broadcast  to the public.

Just reading it is uncomfortable... like being invited to someone's house for dinner and having to sit there awkwardly while the host couple gets in a fight.

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Any The Office fans out there (US version)?  Amy and Dillion's relationship reminds me of Michael and Jan's.  Especially the dinner party episode where they were taking jabs at each other all night and it was so awkward for the guests.  

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The episode sounds like a performance of "Who's Afraid of Virginia Wolfe ". Glad I forgot it was on. Although I caught 10 seconds while channelsurfing.  Looked awful and my husband hates reality shows so I turned on a movie instead.  

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6 hours ago, freshlemonade said:

Especially the dinner party episode where they were taking jabs at each other all night and it was so awkward for the guests.

I believe that this is the best episode of the entire series!

And yes, Amy and Dillon definitely remind me of Michael and Jan.

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On 6/9/2017 at 5:30 AM, Daisy0322 said:

Amy is okay, especially in comparison to the rest of her family but I can't figure out why she or TLC thinks she's famous... even D-list famous. She she wasn't a focal point of the show and her music career never took off. Soooo she's kind if just trying to ride coat tails presumably to not have to get a real job.

As far as fame goes, think about the people who are on "Dancing with the Stars'.    Can't say they are 'stars' (Bristol Palin?   What in the name of Rufus made her a STAR?" 


Ok, lets give Uncle Bobblehead a heart attack - get Famy on Dancing with the 'stars'

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11 hours ago, freshlemonade said:

Any The Office fans out there (US version)?  Amy and Dillion's relationship reminds me of Michael and Jan's.  Especially the dinner party episode where they were taking jabs at each other all night and it was so awkward for the guests.  

"You have no idea the physical toll that 3 vasectomies have on a person"

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"I don't care what they say about me. I just want to eat. Which I realize is a lot to ask for... at a dinner party."

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You took me by the hand,made a man, that one night(one night) you made everything alriiiiiight. 

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Good luck paying me back on your zero dollars a year salary plus benefits babe.

Edited by Coconut Flan
Format.
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I broke down and watched. They are like two friends that just live together and take vacations. There is no heat whatsoever. 

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