Duggars by the Dozen 29 - A Very Inappropriate Lawsuit

[Daisy0322]

On the topic of reminiscing about 19kac lol does anyone remember the episode where the boys and girls swapped jurisdictions? The boys did the laundry, cleaned, and cooked like the girls had to do the. The girls learned how to change a tire. Basically it was obvious  the boys did nothing really around the house unless a car needed work or there was yard work. You could tell the 4 oldest girls worked allll day while the boys played. 

[HarleyQuinn]

On 6/20/2017 at 10:57 AM, TeamDefraudinSquad said:

This is off topic, but my friend got five expansion packs to "Cards Against Humanity" for his birthday recently (its exactly like "Apples to Apples", except all the cards have awful things written on them), and the expansion packs came with a bunch of blank answer cards, and question cards, that you can write whatever you want on.

Amazing!! My favorite CAH card is "fuck mountain"

[DarkAnts]

3 hours ago, Daisy0322 said:

On the topic of reminiscing about 19kac lol does anyone remember the episode where the boys and girls swapped jurisdictions? The boys did the laundry, cleaned, and cooked like the girls had to do the. The girls learned how to change a tire. Basically it was obvious  the boys did nothing really around the house unless a car needed work or there was yard work. You could tell the 4 oldest girls worked allll day while the boys played. 

If I remember correctly, it was the older girls and the younger boys who switched jurisdictions. The older boys only made the older girls work more.

[Rachel333]

23 hours ago, Daisy0322 said:

On the topic of reminiscing about 19kac lol does anyone remember the episode where the boys and girls swapped jurisdictions? The boys did the laundry, cleaned, and cooked like the girls had to do the. The girls learned how to change a tire. Basically it was obvious  the boys did nothing really around the house unless a car needed work or there was yard work. You could tell the 4 oldest girls worked allll day while the boys played. 

That kind of thing isn't limited to fundies. I've read articles about how in general men think they're evenly splitting tasks when really the tasks they do are occasional ones and the women end up doing the vast majority of the work.

Even with secular couples who consider their marriage egalitarian and both have full time jobs the women statistically end up doing most of the housework.

[QuiverFullofBooks]

Does anyone else read Carolyn Hax's advice column? It's in the Washington Post and syndicated elsewhere. On Friday there was a question about dividing housework and I got sucked into the literally thousands of comments. The letter touched a nerve for a lot of people.

[Daisy0322]

2 hours ago, Rachel333 said:

That kind of thing isn't limited to fundies. I've read articles about how in general men think they're evenly splitting tasks when really the tasks they do are occasional ones and the women end up doing the vast majority of the work.

Even with secular couples who consider their marriage egalitarian and both have full time jobs the women statistically end up doing most of the housework.

Yeah I could see that... my husband does everything around the house I don't like to do like dishes, taking trash out, the daily picking up little stuff that gets cluttered, etc. but I probably do more over all and I worked and went to school full time and honestly he takes 3X as long as I do to finish a task. 

[SayWhat]

Holy shit.  The Laundry Episode.    Those frumpers and Mullets collar on her frumper !    Can you see Jessa, Jinge  dressing that way today ? 

The narrator states at about 2:42 something about Boob & Mullet spending more time with their kids due to no internet or TV.  

Seeing young Josh and knowing his future,  thinking about the professional help  Boob & Mullet failed to get him     Thinking about  his victims.  Ugh, makes me so furious !      

The whole shit-show is just       

I need a drink...

[SapphireSlytherin]

5 minutes ago, Daisy0322 said:

Yeah I could see that... my husband does everything around the house I don't like to do like dishes, taking trash out, the daily picking up little stuff that gets cluttered, etc. but I probably do more over all and I worked and went to school full time and honestly he takes 3X as long as I do to finish a task. 

Mine cooks, pays the bills, and does the "heavy lifting" on our renovation project (whole house). I do the dishes, laundry, general cleaning, vacuuming, dusting, mopping, cat-box-scooping, yard work, "detail" parts of our house renovation (paint, flooring, etc.), and wash the cars. I'm also the main bread-winner (by many tens of thousands of $$$). You know what? I don't have to cook. That is HUGE.

[Daisy0322]

42 minutes ago, SapphireSlytherin said:

Mine cooks, pays the bills, and does the "heavy lifting" on our renovation project (whole house). I do the dishes, laundry, general cleaning, vacuuming, dusting, mopping, cat-box-scooping, yard work, "detail" parts of our house renovation (paint, flooring, etc.), and wash the cars. I'm also the main bread-winner (by many tens of thousands of $$$). You know what? I don't have to cook. That is HUGE.

That is a big one... I really don't care what he does as long as he does dishes though! I hate dishes, whe. He deploys it is my least favorite part... other then you know him being gone haha.

[MsSaylor]

So glad to see other ladies that refuse to do dishes! I dont give a shit what else he does as long as I dont have to do dishes! He also sometimes takes the trash out, mows, pays bills and does the actual bath part for the kids oh sbd vacuums (i also hate that). I do everything else. More than fair to me! 

[SassyPants]

3 hours ago, Rachel333 said:

That kind of thing isn't limited to fundies. I've read articles about how in general men think they're evenly splitting tasks when really the tasks they do are occasional ones and the women end up doing the vast majority of the work.

Even with secular couples who consider their marriage egalitarian and both have full time jobs the women statistically end up doing most of the housework.

My husband told me early in marriage that he only liked to do the things that had to be done once or twice a year!

As of today, 34 years married-

Yep, we both worked outside the home too.

[nst]

9 minutes ago, SassyPants said:

 

As of today, 34 years married-

 

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY !!! Have a brownie on me

[JMO]

Happy anniversary @SassyPants!! cheers! 

[MadeItOut]

9 hours ago, Rachel333 said:

That kind of thing isn't limited to fundies. I've read articles about how in general men think they're evenly splitting tasks when really the tasks they do are occasional ones and the women end up doing the vast majority of the work.

Even with secular couples who consider their marriage egalitarian and both have full time jobs the women statistically end up doing most of the housework.

There's enormous pressure around conforming to that too - even accidentally. For instance, Mr MIO and me are pretty much in a traditional roles reversed situation - he does leg stuff, bendy stuff, and what he likes (baking, knitting cabled or lacy beautiful stuff). He hates DIY. I LOVE it. He doesn't have a second job, I do most of the earning. Outside work I do the bulk of our DIY, or I sit on my backside in my garden and work on whatever I can reach.

Folks know this about us, and yet... the number of times one or other of us fields daft questions. Just yesterday he was asked how his garden was going. We used to just go with it, but these days we're trying to stand up a little more and remind folks that's just not us. It's a hard one though - you don't want to make folks uncomfortable, but we've learnt it's not healthy to subsume ourselves.

[ElToro]

On 2017-6-21 at 10:47 PM, Four is Enough said:

And WHY the Fuck does a kid have to learn about bankruptcy any way?

Well..... to be fair to Ofboob, I think she was teaching them EXACTLY what they need to know for their future lives.... (I am just going to go ahead and assume the lawsuit doesn't pay out)

I just rewatched an early episode (only 16 kids!) and it listed the ambitions for each of the older kids. So sad. Jill and JD were the only ones to have succeeded (missionary and contractor) Jessa wanted to be a beautician, Jinger a chef ( OUTSIDE the home- eeek!) 

The best was Josh. He wanted to be an attorney!

[SuhrEnity]

5 hours ago, ElToro said:

The best was Josh. He wanted to be an attorney!

Oh my cow! This is the best laugh I've had in AGES!!!!!

[front hugs > duggs]

Mr. Front Hugs tells me I'm a fantastic wife, but a horrible housewife  I say it's because I'm not a housewife, I'm a working wife!

He spoils me though. I'll do the cooking (though honestly we mostly get take away because of our crazy schedules), he usually does dishes, laundry, cat litter, trash probably more than me, and works two jobs. 

........I should probably step up to the plate a little more, but am very grateful for him!

[Antipatriarch]

15 hours ago, Rachel333 said:

That kind of thing isn't limited to fundies. I've read articles about how in general men think they're evenly splitting tasks when really the tasks they do are occasional ones and the women end up doing the vast majority of the work.

Even with secular couples who consider their marriage egalitarian and both have full time jobs the women statistically end up doing most of the housework.

Very true... and not just the percentage of who actually does what, but who notices and plans and thinks about what needs to be done. Here's a really good illustration of the issue of the "mental load" of managing a household:

https://english.emmaclit.com/2017/05/20/you-shouldve-asked/

[PreciousPantsofDoom]

6 hours ago, MadeItOut said:

 

Folks know this about us, and yet... the number of times one or other of us fields daft questions. Just yesterday he was asked how his garden was going. We used to just go with it, but these days we're trying to stand up a little more and remind folks that's just not us. 

I know what you mean about that. In some things we are pretty traditional, but I'm the one who does the DIY and the yard work around here.  I do it because I enjoy it and because he has no clue when it comes to any of that, yet people assume that the power tools in the garage are his. Mr PPod doesn't know his Phillips from his Robertson, and he wouldn't know how to prune an apple tree if it bit him in the ass, yet people will try asking him about the garden or for an opinion on fixing something or whatever. He just refers them to me, but it's surprising in this day and she how many people still think in very traditional gender conforming ways.

(For the record, he's a great cook and pulls his weight on the housework, so it's not just me working away here)

[karen77]

35 minutes ago, Antipatriarch said:

Very true... and not just the percentage of who actually does what, but who notices and plans and thinks about what needs to be done. Here's a really good illustration of the issue of the "mental load" of managing a household:

https://english.emmaclit.com/2017/05/20/you-shouldve-asked/

Good article, and in our household, while my husband really does a lot of the chores and such, I still am teh organizer of life, and that takes it's toll (I pay the bills and such too). He doesn't see it, because he doesn't have to live it and if I bring that up. ha! he'll throw the chore card in my face (and he DOES do more cleaning and cooking than I). I just make sure the kids are ready for school/camp/etc, bags are packed, their stuff is paid, their clothes fit, they've been to the dr, etc, etc. And that article pushes being home for a full month after a baby is born...really that isn't even when it's hard (managerial wise). That never ends!

[PreciousPantsofDoom]

42 minutes ago, Antipatriarch said:

Here's a really good illustration of the issue of the "mental load" of managing a household:

https://english.emmaclit.com/2017/05/20/you-shouldve-asked/

I saw that a while back and thought it was so true.  

I found it a bit depressing when I first thought about it because it made me realize how much of the mental load I was carrying, deals the fact that my husband DOESN'T  sit on his ass while I do everything.  But I am the one who keeps track of what needs to be done around here and the one who makes sure it all gets done.  Without us consciously assigning roles, he most certainly thinks of himself as the "helper" when it comes to household tasks, not the one in charge (ie the one who takes responsibility )  For example, he said to me, just this morning, that he had put away the dishes in the dishwasher "for me."    

On the other hand, I think it also makes me appreciate more what Mr PPod does to keep our finances in order.  He makes far more money than I do, but thats not what I mean.  I mean that he is the one who shoulders most of the mental load.  He has a background in Finance, so he is the one who deals with our Investments.  He does our taxes, makes sure our bills are paid, pensions contributed to, insurance taken care of, looks over the credit card bills and sits on hold to dispute a weird charge etc. Etc.  I probably should do more of it, but I don't.  

I'll tell you what we don't do though.  We don't dismiss the other's ability to understand or contribute based on gender.  When I need him to do some sort of household chore that I would normally take care of, he just does it like a normal person, with none of that stupid jokey, " Hey look at me doing this girly task for the little woman" like JB would.

[buggers]

1 hour ago, PreciousPantsofDoom said:

I'll tell you what we don't do though.  We don't dismiss the other's ability to understand or contribute based on gender.  When I need him to do some sort of household chore that I would normally take care of, he just does it like a normal person, with none of that stupid jokey, " Hey look at me doing this girly task for the little woman" like JB would.

As it should be! Sounds like you and your husband have a good system. I still remember the episodes of the girls packing and running around doing shit, and the guys are all just sitting there.

I wonder if it's ever offputting to the husbands (Derrick, Bin, and Jeremy, and I guess Austin now - although he seems to have a real job) that their girls are the ones bringing in the money and giving them a platform. It's a funny irony that for all the talk of headship and leading men, the Duggar girls are the actual money makers. Their dynamics would make an interesting study on gender roles.

[Fundie Bunny]

2 hours ago, PreciousPantsofDoom said:

but it's surprising in this day and she how many people still think in very traditional gender conforming ways.

In a World in which is safer to play russian roulette than to be a woman, i sadly don't find it surprising

[Iamtheway]

5 hours ago, front hugs > duggs said:

Mr. Front Hugs tells me I'm a fantastic wife, but a horrible housewife  I say it's because I'm not a housewife, I'm a working wife!

He spoils me though. I'll do the cooking (though honestly we mostly get take away because of our crazy schedules), he usually does dishes, laundry, cat litter, trash probably more than me, and works two jobs. 

........I should probably step up to the plate a little more, but am very grateful for him!

Mr Way once told my mother that I was a bad wife but a good person.

To be honest we are both pretty lazy with the household chores (always have to do a quick clean up when we're having guests) but he probably does more then me. Cooking is pretty even (lots of easy dishes). We have a dishwasher (halleluja!) and he fills it, turns it on and empties it more then me. He does most of the cleaning, I do most of the laundry (although right now I'm so stressed out with work that I skipped it and just bought new underwear). He takes care of the car and the garden. I pay the bills and keep Miniway in clothes. I do most of the shopping and drop of and pick up at kindy more since he commutes and I work at home. But he has Fridays of with Miniway and they are alone a lot when I travel for work. We both work 80% right now. 

I am thankful every day that we are partners in life and in our parenting. And that we manage things together, not ”help” eachother with our given duties. 

[Seahorse Wrangler]

10 hours ago, PreciousPantsofDoom said:

I know what you mean about that. In some things we are pretty traditional, but I'm the one who does the DIY and the yard work around here.  I do it because I enjoy it and because he has no clue when it comes to any of that, yet people assume that the power tools in the garage are his.

When we were laying the deck 2 years ago, I was the one woman-handling the 16 ft 8x2 wood planks and using the compound miter saw to cut them to length, while Mr Wrangler and his friend levered and screwed them into place on the frame.  According to Mr W I looked like Charlie but the older and more buxom version.