Duggars by the Dozen 29 - A Very Inappropriate Lawsuit

[backyard sylph]

4 hours ago, VelociRapture said:

I'll respectfully disagree with you. I'm not sold on this at all. Maybe Kelly is better with their kids when they're older and can have more of a friendship with her, but she has never seemed overly invested in the kids when they're young. 

In my personal opinion (and borrow your metaphor), both families are rusted aluminum in their own ways. 

I'm being specific regarding their affection for their kids right now is all. However else they are and whatever else they do, they both have this degree of self-perception that Jim and Michelle don't appear to possess.

[Clairice]

Our eldest is severely autistic and was completely non verbal till he was 8, we started with a speech therapist to use Makaton signs with him and although it took a good ten months for him to use one sign (more) it really unleashed for him the ability to make his needs known! I often wonder if we had used baby signing with him if he would have talked much much earlier. This is my first post on here after lurking for a couple of weeks, hello

[Bad Wolf]

@claire. Hello and welcome. 

[WhatWouldJohnCrichtonDo?]

10 hours ago, SadieJane said:

We never had terrible twos times, but I will say that the age of three was a hide under the table till it is over season of life.  I can't wait to see how the teenage years go.

I think I posted this on FJ once before, but it seems appropriate now.

Spoiler

 

[Percy]

1 hour ago, WhatWouldJohnCrichtonDo? said:

I think I posted this on FJ once before, but it seems appropriate now.

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3 was not fun at all, but we survived then teenage years mostly intact.

Miss 19 will be 20 in December and then we are done.

They have grown up to be fine, well adjusted young women, yeah

Not looking forward to dealing with any 3 year olds down the track if my two decide to become mothers.

[Four is Enough]

The same kid who was adorable all through his twos turned into the Child from Hell on his third birthday. He then reverted to "ok" until he hit 14, and until about 18, was pretty obnoxious. I remember one time he called me a "fucking bitch" and then I went out to take the other kids to eat. He called me on my cell phone to ask if I was bringing him food. "Sorry," I said. "Fucking bitches don't bring people food."

He started to get a little better after that.

[SadieJane]

3 year olds will make you think of blanket training in a different light.... but don't do it... just don't do it...

[PainfullyAware]

This whole time I though it was just my (decade+ younger) brother who was a nightmare on wheels at age 3, but delightful at 2. Or the filter of my teenage brain, rebelling against babysitting duty. But thanks for confirming it wasn't either of us

[karen77]

2 and 3's are interesting, but the fuck you fours will get you...let me tell ya

[allthegoodnamesrgone]

28 minutes ago, karen77 said:

2 and 3's are interesting, but the fuck you fours will get you...let me tell ya

Giggling like a crazy lady here. I will take your preschoolers and raise you two teenagers. Lets just say we are all ready for Mr. IKNOW to move out, even though, he doesn't have a full time job, a trust fund, an education beyond high school, he does have the roommate and the apartment, no brains. But he's 19, so... 

[Four is Enough]

They ALL know everything until they get to be about 30, I think. I know it's just beginning to dawn on One that perhaps his father and I know anything at all about anything at all. He's 26.

[scoutsadie]

On 8/2/2017 at 2:59 PM, JDuggs said:

Anyone mention yet that JB is speaking at a men's conference at Fort Rock (nice synergy between the Duggars and Forsyths) in a couple of weeks where the men are encouraged to bring their favorite handgun?

"Verily, I say unto thee, thou shalt bringest thy bestest Smith and Wesson unto me, that I may bless it unto you and make the shot more sure." (Thus sayeth the LORD.)

[Bad Wolf]

What? No holy hand grenade?

[Snarkle Motion]

On 8/5/2017 at 5:05 PM, backyard sylph said:

I'm being specific regarding their affection for their kids right now is all. However else they are and whatever else they do, they both have this degree of self-perception that Jim and Michelle don't appear to possess.

I agree we don't see that much interaction between Kelly and the youngest but that doesn't mean it's not occurring. The fact that Michael made Kelly her maid of honor speaks to a fairly close relationship, I couldn't imagine any of the duggars doing that. Also, the effort the kids put into planning surprises for their mom for her birthday was way more than I could ever see the Duggar kids doing.

I don't think any of the children get a healthy amount of individual attention from their parents but the Bates do seem to make an effort to do individual activities with them such as their purity ring tradition. Which I hate on principle but the idea of taking the girls out and making them feel special is a nice tradition. And I don't remember the duggars having traditions with individual attention from parents.

The kids are also way better educated than the duggars. Which isn't exactly a high bar. But the fact that they are able to handle higher education, even if it's clown college, suggests they have at least basic understanding of fundamentals. And I'd assume that came from more hands on involvement at a young age.

You also see way more interaction between Gil and Kelly and their grandchildren. Michelle and JB pose for occasional pictures but otherwise seem to hardly remember how many grandkids they have. And it isn't that many yet. I get the sense the Bates parents actually help out with the grandkids that live nearby (minimally but way more than the duggars).

[Lurky]

I love the term "threenagers", which my sister says describes her son perfectly!

[xlurker]

I remember those horrific three's!  I will say, while trying, my main rule was always "dont embarrass momma"  basically meaning "you are free to throw tantrums, talk back, yell scream and throw things AT HOME"  Kids were pretty good with this...if I saw a melt down coming I'd basically tell them to hold on and high tail it home before my cutie pie became hell on wheels.  Sometimes it didn't work and a melt down would happen in public.  I remember once when Lurkling #1 was around three and screamed in a store "Why does everyone else have a good mommy and I have YOU!"  An older woman standing near us told her "Because you are just very lucky dear"  I do miss my babies at times  

[VeryNikeSeamstress]

The older of my two kid brothers was such a pain in the butt when he was three (the other one probably was too, but I had moved out by then). Problem is, sometimes he said the funniest things mid tantrum, and it was hard to keep a straight face. Examples:

We were going to my cousin's baptism, and my mom says "look ____, I have my princess jacket on, we're going to a celebration, now get in the car. My brother retorts "NO!! I don't wanna. You smell like not a princess."

Or as we were showing up at Christmas eve mass, my brother yells loudly (speaking of the priest) "I don't like this man. I want to go home."

Or the time the only insult he could find for me dad was "you're a gluestick, dad!"

[SapphireSlytherin]

35 minutes ago, VeryNikeSeamstress said:

my brother yells loudly (speaking of the priest) "I don't like this man. I want to go home."

Sorry - but this makes my blood run cold, what with all the priest sex scandals.

[onekidanddone]

On 8/5/2017 at 4:55 PM, SadieJane said:

 I can't wait to see how the teenage years go. lol

Oh you can wait believe me. Mine is 13 and sometimes I am the who wants to run screaming and slamming doors.

[calimojo]

Three year olds are either adorable and sweet or raging horror shows.  I think that is why it is hard.  Some days they are so reasonable and adaptable and then other days, you are dealing with the most unreasonable little being on earth.  So just when you think you have  made it through the the rough phase, it comes back to bite you in the ass.  4 years olds, were more fun.  More reliably reasonable and the ability to reason with them gets more possible.  The School age years are all pretty fun, but such a busy time.  Home work, after school stuff, concerts, sports, birthday parties, school events, and so on. 

[VeryNikeSeamstress]

57 minutes ago, SapphireSlytherin said:

Sorry - but this makes my blood run cold, what with all the priest sex scandals.

Fair enough. I know in the case of my brother this was a priest at an out of town church that he had never seen before. It was also in front of my extended family, at a moment where I was only attending church to keep them happy. Thankfully he gave me a reason to skip parts of the mass, because I offered to take him for a walk to calm him down.

[Chocolatedefrauded]

49 minutes ago, onekidanddone said:

Oh you can wait believe me. Mine is 13 and sometimes I am the who wants to run screaming and slamming doors.

I'm so glad you said because I thought I was the only one... I've yelled at my almost 13 year old more in the last 2 months than I have ever before. It scares my DH sometimes when we yell...

What gets me is the self-absorption- like I have an armful of laundry or the puppy is trying to herd the cat & my lovely child wants me to drop everything and fetch her water immediately. I yell, "does it look like this is a good time?!" Then she says that I never do anything for her & I don't love her & all I care about is the puppy! So aggravating. 

[Shadoewolf]

My response to that would be "you're right, I care about the puppy more than youso I'll just let him pee in your water and then you can have it, or maybe you can go get it yorself?" But that's me, and I wouldn't be putting up with that to begin with. Each parent has their own style and their own way though, and with teens you can only do your best and hope! It does get better!

[Coconut Flan]

The proper response to get me water is did you forget where the kitchen is?  

I found yelling counter productive with my crew.  Deadly quiet was the key and firmness.  Remember you hold all the cards - the credit cards, cash, checkbook, and car keys.  Don't ever be afraid to confiscate phones, controllers, ipads, etc.  Hold them for the ransom of good behavior.  Plus remember it doesn't last forever, it only feels like it.  

[Chocolatedefrauded]

My usual response is "I didn't know your legs were broken. You know where the kitchen is, right?" It is the second request that gets me yelling.