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Seewalds 23: Visiting Waco Again


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On 7/6/2017 at 0:13 PM, Carm_88 said:

I think part of the awkwardness post Spurgeon might have been reality sinking in. It's one thing to say "Babies, babies, babies!" In reality, they had to deal with Spurgeon's rather traumatic birth and figure out who they were as a couple. Jessa and Ben may ave had more time then the rest of them, they courted longer, but do we really think that they knew very much about each other? It was likely pretty typical ups and downs, adding in a baby for extra drama. They seem to have worked past it. 

Yeah. Adding a baby is TOUGH. Especially when it's your first.  Husband and I were together nine years and married for just under 13 months when our daughter arrived. We have a strong relationship, but you wouldn't have guessed it if there had been a camera following us around the first few months. Lol!

It was tougher for us because our daughter was six weeks premature, had a NICU stay, and we had a prior miscarriage that same year. And it was definitely tougher for Benessa too considering Jessa's blood loss after the birth and how traumatic that must have been for them.

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8 hours ago, melon said:

I have three brothers.Two older,one younger.I am almost 4 years older..his birthday was yesterday,he's 53,I'll be 57 next month.I remember when my mother was expecting him,vaguely.I know I wanted a sister and not another brother.I know one of my older brothers kept telling me that it would be another boy,and it was...I was disappointed.Boys are so plentiful in my family and Mr.Melon's,too.My younger brother and I have never been very close.I can tolerate him.

I have 2 brothers. My husband has 4 brothers. Most of his sibs had boys prior to us having our first. Our first was a girl- so exciting for a change. My parents' other 6 grandchildren are all boys (including my son). We have 1 granddaughter so far- in my hub's family there are now 9 GGKs- 2 girls and 7 boys. Boys, boys, boys.

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My parents grandchildren? 10. 8 boys.

Great grandchildren? 8. Boys? 6

Yeah, we're overrun.

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My parents and 3 boys and 1 girl. Grandchildren?6 grandsons 2 granddaughters.Mr Melon has 3 brothers,like me.We had 3 sons.HIs parents  grandchildren? 4 boys 2 girls.I would have  loved to have had a girl,and I am still hoping for grands,maybe even a granddaughter.I would have spoiled a girl.But if I do have a granddaughter...I am supposed to spoil her,then give her back...lol.

 

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So I'm the youngest of 36 grandchildren.... only 7 are boys! But all of the girls are now having babies and we are all having boys. Weird how that works.

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My mom and dad had 4 kids: two boys and two girls.  Among us kids, there are 6 boy grandchildren and 7 grandchildren who are girls.  (If you include Katherine [which my mom did], my mom and dad had 8 granddaughters. )  My husband and I had 5 girls, but only 5 survived infancy.  (Katherine died.) Three of my daughters have given us 6 grandchildren, only one of whom is a boy.  To be fair, two of the grandchildren were adopted from China and the one child policy was in effect when the older of them was born.  It is easier to adopt baby or toddler girls from China.  The ages of my grandchildren are 8, 7, 4, 2, 2, and 8 months. 

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1 hour ago, Daisy0322 said:

So I'm the youngest of 36 grandchildren.... only 7 are boys! But all of the girls are now having babies and we are all having boys. Weird how that works.

My SIL is from a long family of girls- 1 boy every 20 years.

She has 3 daughters.

So far, she has 3 grandkids, 3,2 and an infant. All BOYS!

 

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29 minutes ago, SassyPants said:

 

I found out yesterday that my cousin who is here in Canada actually over the bridge (the rest are in Eroupe ) 
DOESN"T HAVE THE INTERNET 

my  goodness 

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Of my grandma's 17 grandchildren and great grandchildren, 4 are boys. So us girls rule our family haha.

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On my father's side there were 10 children: 7 Boys and 3 girls. There are 17 grandchildren; 9 boys and 8 girls. There are 19 great grandchildren as of right now and there are: 8 girls and 11 boys. So fairly even with room for improvement. :P 

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I my family, everyone has a boy and a girl. I have a brother. Mom has a brother, who has a son and a daughter. Dad has a sister, from whom I have one male and one female cousin. Male cousin has a daughter and a son. Both of my grandmas had one brother each. The only exception in my family I can think of is that my maternal grandpa is an only child. Don't know about my paternal grandpa, as he died when my dad was just a teenager. Never heard about any siblings, but we never talked about him much at all. And that's my entire family for you. :P

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Wow you guys come from enormous families!

 

My grand-parents from my father's side: 2 sons, 2 grand-daughters and 1 grandson, 3 great-grandsons and 2 great-granddaughters as of now.

 

grandparents fom my mom's side: two daughters, one granddauther, one grandson.

 

I love the idea of having many children, but I do not anyone who comes from a big family or has more than 4 children. My wife has 11 siblings, but thats because of extreme patchwork dynamics.

 

You guys amaze me!

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This is an interesting subject to me. My maternal grandparents have 5 kids, 4 daughters and 1 son. The son never had children. The daughters had 8 kids between them, 5 girls, 3 boys. I'm the oldest of the 8 and the only one who has a child, interested to see the stats of the next generation!

My husband doesn't know much about his extended family. But his parents had six kids including him- 4 boys, 2 girls, in that order. All except his youngest sister are married but only he and his oldest brother have kids so far. We have 1 girl, oldest brother has 3 boys and 1 girl. So things are a little more boy-leaning on that side.

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My maternal grandfather had four sisters and was the only (and youngest) boy. My maternal grandmother had a younger sister and a younger brother. 

My grandmother and grandfather had 5 kids. 4 boys and 1 girl (my mom). Grandkids are 8 girls and 1 boy. Great-grandkids are 1 boy and another on the way (don't know sex yet). 

My paternal grandfather had 1 brother. Paternal grandmother had 2 sisters and 1 brother. 

My grandparents on this side had 3 boys (including my dad) and 1 girl. Grandkids are 6 girls, 0 boys. Great-grandkids are 3 girls and 2 boys.

So lots of girls in the family. We're thinking that all us girls, on maternal side, will have all boys. Will have to wait and see if that pattern holds though as my cousin is due in December and we don't know the sex yet. Thought this pattern would hold up on dad's side too but it broke with one cousin having those 3 girls LOL 

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My dad's paternal grandfather was one of 13 (8 survived to adulthood). He had one son (my grandfather). HE had three sons (my dad was #2). My dad and his brothers had three girls and four boys between them. I'm one of the three grandgirls, the first female born into the line in over 80 years - my two older cousins are adopted. The seven cousins have 11 offspring - only three are girls.

On my mom's side, her maternal great-grandmother was one of five. Great-grandmother was the only one of the five to have any children - she had g/b/g. The first girl had one girl (my mom); the boy had one boy; the third girl had no children. 

When we have family funerals we don't take up much room. EVERYbody gets a seat under the tent at the cemetery. lol

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My relatives were mostly families of 2s and 3s... one aunt had 4 and to us that was a really big family. Mrs. AP OTOH was one of 6, and her mom was one of 9, etc... she has cousins she's never met. So when we talked before marriage, I was thinking "2... maybe 3" and she was thinking "6... maybe 5" -- we laughingly said "4 then!" Neither of us was really dogmatic about it.

Once they started arriving though... our positions switched. When we got to 3, she was thinking that was probably enough... and I was thinking, "Aw... is that all?" :my_smile: But I wasn't going to push for more if she wasn't OK with it. #4 was a surprise, but has been a real joy.

All this is to say: This is yet another reason why "quiverfull," setting out to have as many as possible and sticking with it no matter what, is such a bad idea. You don't know until you have kids how many you can handle, how many will be right. I wonder how many Duggar daughters and SILs will get to 3, 4, 5, and just be exhausted, but feel trapped by QF and no BC options.

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Spurgeon and James. Spurgeon is looking a bit sleepy.
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On 7/7/2017 at 10:35 AM, Daisy0322 said:

Ehhh I've known my husband 7 years (been married 9 months) and we still learn new things about each other sometimes. I could tell you exsactly how he would react to things sometimes word for word but I couldn't tell you what his favorite kind of cake is for exsample and I doubt he knows mine either. And just the other day I learned that he played poker on a cruise with the singer from a pretty well known band.  Not saying courtships are a good way to get to know a person but little facts about a person don't make a relationship either.

I guess I was more surprised bc she said it's one of his very favorite desserts. It's not like "oh he doesn't like cole slaw from this certain place." It's his family cheesecake and his personal fav which is why I was so surprised. 

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My great grand parents did the best:  Ben and Ellen:  7 girls, 6 boys.  Will and Rose: 2 boys.  Charles & Sophie: 6 girls, 3 boys.  Larry & Fanny: 5 girls, 4 boys.       Total 18 girls, 15 boys

Grandparent were more restrained:  Al & Ellen: 1 girl 3 boys.  Tom & Mary: 2 girls, 1 boy        Total 3 girls, 4 boys

My parents: 1 girl, 1 boy   - in my generation of cousins total  3 girls, 4 boys

Me: 1 boy  My brother: 1 boy  - in this generation (over 3 continents)   3 girls, 12 boys.

I hope for a grandgirl.

 

 

 

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On 7/7/2017 at 7:19 AM, Coy Koi said:

My baby had some gorgeous curls. Still does, and always will (she's biracial, black and white). But the first time I cut her hair was not until she was 5. That's not weird...the weird part is that for some reason I didn't know what to do with the hair. Rather than throwing it into the trash like a normal person, I tossed the big clump of it outside. Later that day, my daughter's dad came to pick her up and he saw it. He was like, "...is that our daughter's hair I saw outside...?" That's how much of a clump it was in, he immediately recognized it as our baby's hair! I said yes and then realized how crazy that was. I don't know, that was over 10 years ago and I still have no idea how it didn't occur to me to throw the hair in the trash. Please don't judge me. I'm not generally a complete idiot.

I did this once after my now husband cut his own hair. We saw birds gathering it to make nests later, hahaha (and gross)

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1 hour ago, luxfilia said:

I did this once after my now husband cut his own hair. We saw birds gathering it to make nests later, hahaha (and gross)

The birds in my area have nests full of cat hair. When I brush my cats, I put it on the trees for them to use to make nests. 

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On 7/6/2017 at 9:15 PM, Trynn said:


I was pointing out its not a usual choice. And honestly, Most of the time I'm not looking at your feet long enough to judge. I'm too busy judging you by your coffee preferences :P

 

When I said Pacific Northwest, I am specifically in Seattle. Judging for coffee choices is par for the course. :tw_grimace:

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Boys have always out numbered the girls in my family. Paternal grandfather had seven brothers and three sisters, maternal grandfather six brothers and three sisters, and my mother had two older brothers. The exceptions were my dad who had a brother and two sisters, my maternal grandmothers one who had one sister and the other had seven sisters and two brothers. My maternal grandmother had two sons and a daughter and her sister had four boys.  One of my mother's brother died at birth and her other brother had two sons.  On my dad's side he and each of his siblings had two kids a boy and girl except for one sister who had two girls. The next generation has six boys and five girls (the 5th one was adopted). My nephew's excited he's got six boy cousins to play with! Interestingly each cousin first and second child was of the same sex. If the first was a boy, the second was a boy. If the first was a girl, the second was a girl. Two cousins  sisters both had problems conceiving one tried for several years before in-vetro finally worked and had twin daughters, her sister dreamed of a big family but it took five years of trying for her first child and  three years for the second child. She realized the big family wasn't going to happen naturally they adopted a daughter who completed their family. 

My mom and I have consoled each other for being the only girl on maternal side. On one hand you were stuck with a lot of boys. Boys of the rough house, wrestled a lot and gross.  On the other hand you got a lot of attention from the women in the family. I got tons of attention and go to movies and lunch with my grandmother and great-grandmother. My mom had the same thing growing up with her mother, grandmother and her aunt. After a week with her four sons and husband her aunt couldn't wait for a break to spend a few hours or the day with women.  My mom loved that there's nieces on my dad's side. She loves spending time with them.

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On ‎7‎/‎8‎/‎2017 at 7:08 AM, Antipatriarch said:

All this is to say: This is yet another reason why "quiverfull," setting out to have as many as possible and sticking with it no matter what, is such a bad idea. You don't know until you have kids how many you can handle, how many will be right. I wonder how many Duggar daughters and SILs will get to 3, 4, 5, and just be exhausted, but feel trapped by QF and no BC options.

This is a good point. A lot of couples have plans and ideas on how many kids they have. But you don't know until you have kids what its going to be like. Kids are lot of work, take a lot of money and energy. A lot end up changing their plans because of that. Then there's labor and delivery is going to go and pregnancy. That can change plans. Maybe it didn't go well or the baby will have to spend time in the hospital. The Quiverfull have one track mind thanks to brainwashing. C-sections don't stop them or make them talk about maybe not to have twelve more kids instead going for a lower number or even taking a break before having a couple more. The health of the child doesn't either. The Bate parents had babies who had complications or problems but kept on having more. They didn't take any of it as a sign from God to stop and neither did the Duggars with Josie, nope they got pregnant again.  Not being able to handle the kids they have make them stop, husbands who are unemployed, or who cheats on her and probably will again.  They won't alter their plans and have no idea how what to do when the things go wrong. Or even to learn from it. Or use any kind of sense. Anna and Jill are walking examples. Who would think to have a fifth baby after your husband was outed as a molester and cheater? He wasn't that thrilled with baby number four, has no job and probably will cheat on her again.  She has bigger problems then having fifth child. Jill's first labor went wrong and she didn't recognize signs she should have despite her suppose training or had a competent midwife with her, then headed off to DA and got pregnant despite the danger of Zika. Take that plus Jill's and Derick's both have issues whether its mental, health, meltdowns or what another child isn't what they need either.  Its hard to see how either aren't going to end badly or how they don't see it.

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