Family Living on Purpose (FLOP) : Erika Shupe Pt 11

[WhatWouldJohnCrichtonDo?]

3 hours ago, smittykins said:

Jeff Foxworthy:  "Nowadays, if kids don't like what's on TV, they have 40, 50 channels to choose from.  You know how many channels we had when we were kids? THREE!  And if the President was on, your night was SHOT!" 

So true! Except, even if my earliest memories, we had PBS. So, four channels. All showing the State of the Union address in sync!

[December]

13 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

when I was a teen, I had a habit of watching tv while on the phone with my BFFs. So we would watch and talk on the phone about it since it was airing at the exact same time while we were watching at our own houses.

A teen I know and her friends sync up their shows on Hulu or Netflix and text about them. The more things change... 

I'm lucky that streaming TV wasn't really a thing when I was in high school. I'm pretty sure I would've never done homework! 

[mango_fandango]

Ugh. She's shared some anti-gay pride thing. 

[elliha]

1 hour ago, mango_fandango said:

Ugh. She's shared some anti-gay pride thing. 

She did and there was a quite interesting discussion in the comment section which I think could be a bit eye-opening to her. There was no nastiness but well-worded considerate comments in disagreement but with the wording of the post and the idea that Christian has to mean anti-gay. I think with friends like that Karen will be all right. If I had been one of her friends I would have told her about wouldjesusdiscriminate.org. I would tell her that I don't fully agree with all their interpretions of the bible but that it was a very eye-opening site for me because it shows that you can not just be Christian and pro-gay but that there are passages in the bible that can be understood as supportive of gay relationships. 

[Coy Koi]

5 hours ago, December said:

A teen I know and her friends sync up their shows on Hulu or Netflix and text about them. The more things change... 

I'm lucky that streaming TV wasn't really a thing when I was in high school. I'm pretty sure I would've never done homework! 

My daughter told me about a site called rabbit.tv or something where multiple people can watch one stream (so it's perfectly synced and only one person needs to have the Netflix/Hulu/whatever account), and there are also integrated text/video/voice chat options. I haven't used it myself but I'm sure I would have been all over that if it had been around when I was a teenager!

4 hours ago, mango_fandango said:

Ugh. She's shared some anti-gay pride thing. 

Dang it, Karen, do you want to be my favorite fundie kid or not?! Stop sending mixed signals!

I'd give her some time to come around though. She's done an amazing job making her own way in life despite her very limited upbringing, but for whatever reason, certain mindsets can be harder to break than others. I never followed or believed a lot of what I was taught, and still into my early-20s I found myself mindlessly excusing a few seemingly random views/behaviors as "that's just how I was raised", but I eventually realized that was no excuse not to examine them.

[Eternalbluepearl]

How do the Shupes feel good about hating others while worshipping Jesus and his love for all? I truly believe it's a very dangerous theology that singles certain groups out to be hated. I was a kid in the 1990's and taught growing up to be distgusted by the way women and minority groups were treated in other parts of the world and to thank God we are free in America. In reality, If the christians of 2017 had it their way, only straight white men in America would be free. All to protect women and families of course. The ideals the Shupes have instilled in their kids are dangerous. Even if they have nicely organized linen closets and like to declutter like I do. I need to remember that. 

[helenprev]

I love the fb post about helping her little brothers booby trap the yard with clear elastic floss, and then Erica comments "Grrr... That would have been the elastic I just bought for the girls to make jewelry with..." 

[lauraloralara]

Before the anti-gay post, Karen posted two things that I thought were really interesting. First, she posted something from Snapchat (that was the thing with the boys booby-trapping the yard). I wonder when she got that. There is virtually no way for Erika to monitor Karen's Snapchat unless Karen is literally attached to her hip - which we know she's not (gym job, etc.). Maybe she was allowed to get Snapchat when she turned 18. 

Also, the photo of her with the Dauntless symbol from Divergent. I don't really remember anything about that terrible book series - I think I forced myself to read the first one - but a boy drew that on her leg, it seems. Same boy that has been in several of her pictures. 

That stuff is so normal for regular kids, but I'm so happy for Karen - and I'm trying to imagine someone like a Maxwell or Rod girl doing either of those things (or watching Friends, or any other thing Karen does) and the idea is laughable, which makes it sad. 

[Eternalbluepearl]

I really love some of the comments that Karen's stupid anti-gay post received. Someone very eloquently compared being anti-gay to being pro-slavery in the past as well as other apt comparisons. The comment-maker was a christian. It made me feel warm and fuzzy inside. 

[16strong]

3 hours ago, Eternalbluepearl said:

I really love some of the comments that Karen's stupid anti-gay post received. Someone very eloquently compared being anti-gay to being pro-slavery in the past as well as other apt comparisons. The comment-maker was a christian. It made me feel warm and fuzzy inside. 

Given Karen's sheltered upbringing, she likely hasn't met an lgbtq person. I don't expect her to understand right out of the gate, but I do hope she starts thinking about the comments she received and eventually expands her worldview.

[mango_fandango]

Exactly. Leaving home is a huge step for someone like her, I wasn't exactly expecting her to turn totally liberal right away. It was just a shame to see after all the non-religious stuff. I think she'd posted a couple of God-related photos/quotes/etc but they were quite general and non-offensive. I hope she does change in the months and years to come; I've been on this site too long to expect it to happen immediately, but moving out will help things. As will her siblings going to public school, if they stay in PS for the rest of their academic lives. Brandon's at the age where sexuality and relationships and stuff like that will be really coming to the fore, with Anna Marie approaching that age. 

[December]

8 hours ago, 16strong said:

Given Karen's sheltered upbringing, she likely hasn't met an lgbtq person. I don't expect her to understand right out of the gate, but I do hope she starts thinking about the comments she received and eventually expands her worldview.

Good point. It really is plausible that she hasn't met anyone who's out, much less gotten to know a gay person. I've got a friend who grew up quite sheltered and held some similar views, which softened and disappeared over time as she got out into the real world more. She didn't rethink every topic overnight, but it was definitely a domino effect once she started questioning things. 

13 hours ago, lauraloralara said:

Also, the photo of her with the Dauntless symbol from Divergent. I don't really remember anything about that terrible book series - I think I forced myself to read the first one

I watched the movies a few months ago when I was sick, so I may not have caught everything due to the cold meds, but the main character chose to join the edgy Dauntless faction instead of staying with the one she grew up in (and her parents wanted her to continue in) where they spent all day working to serve others and lived very humbly. 

[HeadshipRegent]

16 hours ago, Coy Koi said:

My daughter told me about a site called rabbit.tv or something where multiple people can watch one stream (so it's perfectly synced and only one person needs to have the Netflix/Hulu/whatever account), and there are also integrated text/video/voice chat options. I haven't used it myself but I'm sure I would have been all over that if it had been around when I was a teenager!

Dang it, Karen, do you want to be my favorite fundie kid or not?! Stop sending mixed signals!

I'd give her some time to come around though. She's done an amazing job making her own way in life despite her very limited upbringing, but for whatever reason, certain mindsets can be harder to break than others. I never followed or believed a lot of what I was taught, and still into my early-20s I found myself mindlessly excusing a few seemingly random views/behaviors as "that's just how I was raised", but I eventually realized that was no excuse not to examine them.

Rabbit is awesome! My friends and I have movie nights on it quite often, it's so much fun bc we are all from different parts of the world and get to watch something together ❤️

 

Anyway, I hope those comments make a light bulb go up in Karen's mind. Obviously with all the sheltering and brainwashing she's had all her life, it won't click at once but hopefully she starts thinking about it... Anyway, back into my dark corner of FJ lurkdom...

[Coy Koi]

1 hour ago, December said:

Good point. It really is plausible that she hasn't met anyone who's out, much less gotten to know a gay person.

She may not have until fairly recently, but the owner of the gym where she works seems to be a Christian lesbian, and at least one friend who commented on her icky post identified as queer (can't remember the specifics and can't be bothered to go back and look right now). Her boss didn't comment on Karen's post at all, but did "like" some of the dissenting comments. And not only that, but quite a few of her friends expressed their disagreement (quite eloquently, in several cases) even if some of them may be heterosexual themselves, so that could be a good sign of things to come.

Karen will either eventually change her views or it will be no one's fault but her own if she chooses to remain a bigot, because she definitely has normal influences at this time, and is very capable of thinking for herself. I think there's a good chance she'll do the right thing eventually....but who knows.

[Eternalbluepearl]

I wonder what it is like to be raised very sheltered with certain hateful ideas and then go out into the world and realize that many many people do not feel that way. You might even realize that your own parents are bigots. Must be shocking. 

[Coy Koi]

2 hours ago, Eternalbluepearl said:

I wonder what it is like to be raised very sheltered with certain hateful ideas and then go out into the world and realize that many many people do not feel that way. You might even realize that your own parents are bigots. Must be shocking. 

I have a little bit of related experience. When I was 11, a boy in my class had a crush on me and my sister kept teasing me about it. My mom heard the teasing, and knew this classmate was black (we are white), so she scolded my sister and explained to us that we don't have romantic interests with black people. I later mentioned this to a friend, as a kind of "haha, my sister got in trouble for teasing me" thing, and my friend was like "what the fuck???". I'd never really given any thought to race at that point (I'd been sheltered and interacted mainly with white people...and in fact that classmate was the only black student in my class, up from the zero black students in my class at my previous school), and that was the first time I realized that wow, my mom's views are seen as really fucking out there to some perfectly normal people in my religious private school. It didn't take very long for me to recognize this as an issue and form my own opinions. (It took significantly longer for my mom to break with her parents and form her own opinion on the matter, but that's another story!)

I wouldn't have been forbidden from dating white girls like I was forbidden from dating black boys though, if I'd wanted to. My mom wouldn't have thrown a party over it or anything, but she wouldn't have forbidden it. I'm not sure what would have happened if I'd wanted to date black girls, but I suspect it would have been much less of an issue than me dating black boys. Bigotry isn't exactly rational. I hope Karen figures that out sooner rather than later!

[Anonymousguest]

She commented that people brought up points she hadn't considered, so she obviously is open to thinking about things from other's perspectives. She's still young.

[Granwych]

19 hours ago, mango_fandango said:

. Brandon's at the age where sexuality and relationships and stuff like that will be really coming to the fore, with Anna Marie approaching that age. 

I predict a few SEVERE instances of apoplexy for Erika soon...

[closetcagebaby]

6 hours ago, Anonymousguest said:

She commented that people brought up points she hadn't considered, so she obviously is open to thinking about things from other's perspectives. She's still young.

Did she delete this or am I just not seeing it on her facebook?

[JermajestyDuggar]

12 hours ago, Eternalbluepearl said:

I wonder what it is like to be raised very sheltered with certain hateful ideas and then go out into the world and realize that many many people do not feel that way. You might even realize that your own parents are bigots. Must be shocking. 

This happens to non fundies. There are lots of small towns across America where people rarely leave and only hang around people with similar opinions. There are so many bubbles.

[Anonymousguest]

6 hours ago, closetcagebaby said:

Did she delete this or am I just not seeing it on her facebook?

Looks like she deleted the whole thread.

[Justmurrayed]

On 6/29/2017 at 5:45 AM, Eternalbluepearl said:

I wonder what it is like to be raised very sheltered with certain hateful ideas and then go out into the world and realize that many many people do not feel that way. You might even realize that your own parents are bigots. Must be shocking. 

I can only speak from my experience and I wouldn't say my parents are total bigots but my entire life I've heard the "hate the sin, not the sinner" or "we love gay people we just don't want them to get married". Ugh. It's gross especially after you realize gay people deserve all the rights that heterosexual couples are afforded. 

[closetcagebaby]

8 hours ago, Anonymousguest said:

Looks like she deleted the whole thread.

Interesting...that could be read a few different ways. Here's hoping she got a little embarrassed and is now doing some real thinking. 

[December]

6 hours ago, Justmurrayed said:

my entire life I've heard the "hate the sin, not the sinner" or "we love gay people we just don't want them to get married"

From personal experience, I've been amazed by how many people don't realize how much a marriage license, a freaking piece of paper, can affect your life. Too many people take for granted the sort of critically important rights it confers on a couple + their family (at least in the USA). Then again, sometimes you can explain it to people and they still have zero compassion for the sort of heartbreaking bureaucratic issues a lack of equal marriage could and has caused for families. Thankfully, many people will be reasonable... 

[elliha]

Karen is starting a new job today. She is now also working at a food co-op. She says she will also work at the gym in the comments. Good for you, Karen!