Family Living on Purpose (FLOP) : Erika Shupe Pt 11

[mango_fandango]

HOLY CRAP! 

Hope Melanie will be allowed to do the same.

What the hell happened to make Erika do a complete 180 in her beliefs? 

[usmcmom]

I don't think Erika looks genuinely happy in that photo. 

Having said that - YAY KAREN!!  

I really hope Melanie will soon follow. 

[feministxtian]

Maybe Karen told her parents to f-off...maybe loosening the rules wasn't enough for her...she wanted to be free. I wouldn't doubt if Melanie followed suit in a year or so. 

[Foudeb]

That's the best news on FJ in, like, ever.

I hope Karen doesn't go too crazy with all this new freedom (it could make things more difficult for Melanie if she does).

And I hope she has fun.

[Eternalbluepearl]

Will Erika write a blog post about her oldest child leaving the nest? Does Erika still blog? I remember that her facebook page became a private group and then I stopped following. 

[lauraloralara]

I am over the moon happy for Karen! 

Do we know who the boy is who is pictured in some of Karen's photos? There is one picture where they look pretty cozy. Even if he is not a BF or romantic interest, I am very happy that something has changed in her life where she can go from not being allowed to wear pants because of TEH CROTCH!!!1111 to now being able to hang out with a boy with (seemingly) not a crazy amount of parental helicoptering. 

[usedbicycle]

Wow who would have thunk! 

If I had to bet money on who out of Jana, Sarah Maxwell or Karen would fly the coop to live alone one day (not through mariage), not sure I would have picked Karen. So exciting for her and all the siblings she blazed the trail for. 

[Hane]

I still think Bob was the deciding factor. He saw that homeschooling wasn't a rousing success, his wife's fundie blog was an embarrassment to him (and possibly detrimental to his business), and that he was in danger of having perpetual SAHDs around to support on his limited salary--so he said "Enough!"

[JillyO]

That is seriously amazing news. Although I feel kind of terrible for Melanie.

In the comments, Karen says she is renting a room in a friend's farmhouse about 20 minutes away from her parents.

[Loveday]

2 hours ago, Eternalbluepearl said:

Will Erika write a blog post about her oldest child leaving the nest? Does Erika still blog? I remember that her facebook page became a private group and then I stopped following. 

I almost never see Erika even comment on a post these days. New posts are generally written by Bob, or by members asking questions (most of which are answered by other members, with occasional input from Bob and the very rare comment by Erika). Unless I've missed something, Erika seems to have pretty much disappeared from Facebook altogether, and possibly from other social media outlets as well. 

[ScorpiousMalfoy]

WHOA. That's some big news! Go Karen - and later rescue Melanie too!

[Hisey]

14 hours ago, usmcmom said:

I don't think Erika looks genuinely happy in that photo. 

Having said that - YAY KAREN!!  

I really hope Melanie will soon follow. 

I am sure Melanie will follow, possibly with Karen's help. 

It is really inevitable. I have a teenage girl about Karen's age and they do NOT want to be controlled by anyone. And I think Erika is psychologically unable to stop controlling. It had to come to this.

I think it really helped that Karen has lots of cousins, grandparents, aunts, uncles who are religious but not fundie. She spent a lot of time with them. She saw what normal is. This is very different from the Duggars, who mostly socialize with their own ilk. 

[nokidsmom]

1 hour ago, Hisey said:

I think it really helped that Karen has lots of cousins, grandparents, aunts, uncles who are religious but not fundie. She spent a lot of time with them. She saw what normal is.

This can make a huge difference for a kid stuck in a overly controlling and limiting family situation.  It did for me as my folks generally would trust their parents and siblings with their own kids.    Even fairly young children will see the difference in the relatives' households and the idea that maybe not all families are like the one they were born into takes hold. 

1 hour ago, Hisey said:

And I think Erika is psychologically unable to stop controlling. It had to come to this.

This is the best way if a parent is simply unable to stop.   I don't know if Karen asked her mother to ease up, perhaps she did, but if Erika couldn't help herself, it's either remain in the family home and deal or leave.

[nausicaa]

So this may have been mentioned before (I don't follow the Shupe threads super closely), but did anyone notice that a woman comments on Karen's selfie post and has a Pride frame on her profile picture? It looks like the woman is very active in gay rights issues and some photos suggest she may be gay. She also appears to be the owner of Karen's gym. I.e., her boss. 

 What the hell is going on over in Shupe world?

[meee]

Here's what I don't understand.

As smug and self-righteous as Erika has been in the past, and as unhappy as she seems now with their changes, why can't she just be a martyr and throw the rest of them under the bus? "Boohoo rebellious teens, moving out and wearing pants and ungodly etc. but I AM SO GODLY IN MY SKIRTS" - except she's started wearing pants too. And claims to be on board with sending them to public school. . While claiming that her beliefs haven't changed. I'm not saying it would be acceptable to look down her nose at her own family while riding the fundie high horse, But it would make a heck of a lot more sense than what she's actually doing.

[mango_fandango]

Her beliefs HAVE changed. She used to be a skirts-only homeschooler who didn't see the point in kids leaving home before marriage. She may still believe in God, but her beliefs about skirts/public school/kids leaving home have changed.

[meee]

I thought she said they haven't? And there's been speculation here that she's sending to public school etc. against her will?

[Anonymousguest]

3 hours ago, Hisey said:

I am sure Melanie will follow, possibly with Karen's help. 

It is really inevitable. I have a teenage girl about Karen's age and they do NOT want to be controlled by anyone. And I think Erika is psychologically unable to stop controlling. It had to come to this.

 

I have a couple kids a bit older than Karen and they don't seem to want to leave, lol. But then they are pretty free to do what they like. Maybe it's too comfy here. JK. I do like having them around, when I see them.

[ILoveJellybeans]

Wow, good for Karen. The Shupes have changed a lot in their beliefs lately. 

[Georgiana]

GOOD FOR KAREN!

I always wanted to live in one of the farmhouses out there when we would drive to see my cousins (who live very near to the Shupes).  They are GORGEOUS and the area is EVEN PRETTIER!  

LIVE IT UP, LADY!

[defraudingjezebel]

AHHH!! I legit shrieked when I saw the first post mentioning Karen's departure. I've mentioned plenty of times before that I hoped Karen and Melanie would venture out on their own... never did I think it would happen so soon! I am sooo happy for Karen. And I hope this gives Melanie a bit of hope and shows her that she will be able to escape soon.

Very astute observation @nausicaa. I agree, it seems like her boss may be in a non-heterosexual relationship and leans to the more liberal side. I knew that Karen's job would lead to the unraveling of her ultra-conservative upbringing. My guess is that her job has exposed her to people from all walks of life. She can see for herself that the outside world isn't so bad after all, and that many non-fundies are genuinely good people too! 

I agree with the idea that Erika is probably less than thrilled with Karen moving out. But I bet Bob is happy to have one less mouth to feed! 

Edit to add: I do think it's telling that Erika hasn't mentioned this on the FLOP group. This is a pretty big milestone! I think she knows that many would question her decision and wonder why her beliefs have changed. 

[16strong]

It's possible that this arrangement is temporary, and Karen is planning on getting an apartment with Melanie when she comes of age, but can't afford an apartment on her own.

[princessmahina]

So, for the most part, I lost interest in FJ my last semester of grad school and I've just been on here off and on to keep track of my favorites, like the Shupes.

WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. 

(rhetorical question, obvi)

Also, Erika looks majorly peeved in that picture. I don't believe for a minute that her beliefs have changed. I think Bob has had enough with their poverty, her smug attitude, and their miserable, half fed children cooped up in a tiny house all day. 

[Hisey]

5 hours ago, Anonymousguest said:

I have a couple kids a bit older than Karen and they don't seem to want to leave, lol. But then they are pretty free to do what they like. Maybe it's too comfy here. JK. I do like having them around, when I see them.

Perhaps you should try monitoring what they eat, how much they sleep, and what they read. Insist they eat salad for lunch every day, and create a schedule (in 15 minute increments) detailing how they spend their day. They'll be out of there in no time!

[Foudeb]

13 hours ago, meee said:

Here's what I don't understand.

As smug and self-righteous as Erika has been in the past, and as unhappy as she seems now with their changes, why can't she just be a martyr and throw the rest of them under the bus? "Boohoo rebellious teens, moving out and wearing pants and ungodly etc. but I AM SO GODLY IN MY SKIRTS" - except she's started wearing pants too. And claims to be on board with sending them to public school. . While claiming that her beliefs haven't changed. I'm not saying it would be acceptable to look down her nose at her own family while riding the fundie high horse, But it would make a heck of a lot more sense than what she's actually doing.

A good submissive wife doesn't criticise her husband's decisions, especially not in public. Fundyism's loss!