Adoptive "Mothers" 3: Women Who Don't Deserve Mother's Day

[anachronistic]

ARGH.

Blosssom isn't allowed to freaking PLAY with the other kids yet she earned her food handler certificate in a matter of weeks? Those aren't easy.

Kimi, you fucking toe rag, Blossom was traumatized by her upbringing and NEEDS to play in order to make up for all the times in her life when she couldn't. If she isn't hurting anyone who the hell are you to define how her play should look? I'm autistic. As a kid, my play looked different from non-autistic kids play. That didn't mean it was bad or that I should be isolated from other kids. It just meant that I played differently and when I played with other kids, they adjusted to me and I adjusted to them. You are literally going to make your daughters gang up on one another by setting them against each other in this awful competition for your affection.

also? Once kids learn to write their name, they can do it. Consistently. Either Apple can write hr last name or she can't. You can wish all you like but she will not turn into a non disabled child. Accept her disability and move on. I think the real reason Kimi isn't putting Apple in public school is because they'd test her and Kimi can't deal with the reality of her golden child being anything but perfect, for test scores would tell her plainly where Apple is and what she can and can't do.

Edited August 27, 2017 by anachronistic
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[freejugar]

This picture is like a gradient of miserableness

There has been a lot going on with the older girls this summer and all we got were 4582905 pics of dogs and Apple.

[keepercjr]

On 8/26/2017 at 7:54 AM, Mirla said:

 

In the meantime, the contraption is such a wide, difficult-to-maneuver, load.  They probably can't safely use sidewalks.  And they probably take up a full lane on the road.

The neighborhood K lives in doesn't have sidewalks but yes she is going to take up a bit of the road.  I think the PVC idea is fine if she wasn't on skates.  I think that is a really bad idea.  

In her latest post she talks about Sissy only getting to do 3 days of volunteering because of some behavioral problems at home.  So she can't practice the life skills she just learned because she acted out at home?  I think that using the volunteering as a consequence is a really bad idea.  And her descriptions don't match.  Either she is severely developmentally delayed that there is basically no hope for her (if you believe  everything K writes about her that would be your conclusion) or she is  developmentally able to know that she's 18 needs to act like an adult. Which she wouldn't be able to do if she was as delayed as K  said she is.  Volunteering in the cafe could really only be of benefit to Sissy but K always knows better

I am 99.999% sure this is the cafe she mentioned.  

http://www.fresnobee.com/news/local/education/article125505414.html

[Inthemadhouse]

Both of those dogs are very unhappy with being so close to Apple.  Look at their faces.  She needs to be taught the appropriate way to interact with the dog (hint, jerking it around by it's front legs is not it), and Kimi needs to be gently helping and redirecting instead of reaching for the camera.   Apple will not instinctively know what to do, and Kimi is failing at protecting that baby she wanted so badly.
That little girl is face level with those dogs that nobody knows very well, and I would hate to see her bitten

[apandaaries]

10 minutes ago, Inthemadhouse said:

Both of those dogs are very unhappy with being so close to Apple.  Look at their faces.  She needs to be taught the appropriate way to interact with the dog (hint, jerking it around by it's front legs is not it), and Kimi needs to be gently helping and redirecting instead of reaching for the camera.   Apple will not instinctively know what to do, and Kimi is failing at protecting that baby she wanted so badly.
That little girl is face level with those dogs that nobody knows very well, and I would hate to see her bitten

I am a huge dog lover and agree entirely.  Kimi is just moving into the dog world, taking it as she normally does, by enormous quantity with an overwhelming sense of responsibility.  As with her other hoarding tendencies, Kimi moved right into dog ownership and then beyond, into multiple dog ownership.  Four dogs is a tough load, but honestly, her four daughters are an even tougher load....and those who deserve her first caretaking impulses. But in typical Kimi-style, she jumps in and takes on too much, then complains about the load.

I hope Apple is okay whenever that contraption takes a fall (bets on whether or not Sissy will cause the fall?).  Skates and the rest of that shit are ridiculous.  Also absurd is her contraption tying dogs to bikes...woman, take a moment to study dogs.  The "Squirrel!!!" phenomenon is real; you must be able to account for sudden changes in canine behavior.  Get it together, Kimi! Except I know you won't. The martyr's life is the life for you.

[Eternalbluepearl]

I just read some recent blog posts by this crazy woman and I'm sorry but she just learned that dogs chew everything? How could someone not know about the chewing and dive into owning 4 dogs? Not to mention 4 dogs on TOP of the challenges she has with 4 children. The mind boggles. I don't know much about this woman but it seems she really likes the youngest daughter and idealizes the way she plays and takes care of dolls. It sort of mimicks for me the way the mother wants to collect dolls (her 4 children) and have them act out being a family and being cute without real world issues. I think Apple is fulfilling the role of "perfect little girl" for her mother. I wish this woman hadn't adopted 4 children or 4 dogs. 4 dolls would have been fine. 

[sawasdee]

2 hours ago, Eternalbluepearl said:

4 dolls would have been fine. 

If only!

My heart bleeds for those older girls, especially Sissy, who seems to have the role of family scapegoat. I can't keep up with the differing accounts we get of her capabilities: at one minute, she can't be trusted to do ANYTHING, then she's successfully volunteering in a cafe?

I've said before, I would pay myself for those girls to be assessed by someone who speaks their native tongue. I think the results would be - interesting.

[Jennygirl624]

So Blossom isn't allowed to play because she tends to be silly?  Isn't play supposed to be silly?  I know, my kids don't always play with their dolls like adults. They are kids!!!  She expects those girls to treat the dolls like real babies or they are not allowed to play?  So sad!!!!

[FundieFarmer]

Oh my gosh, Kimi, LET that girl be silly! Think of all the things she's gone through in her life that have been hard or serious. Some levity and fun on her own terms would be so good for her! Oh, that hurts my heart. How I wish she could just let loose and explore the world for herself without Kimi's limitations and restrictions. Play is so freeing! It shouldn't look the same to everyone! It doesn't have to be logical!

 

Ugh! Ugh ugh ugh ugh UGH!

[SoGladIWasCofE]

Also I'm really not sure how being "silly", which sounds like creative play, is a sign of immaturity. That sounds like a girl who's maybe a bit old for dolls but still wants to play because she has no peers to play with.

Restricting how children are allowed to play is awful. And again, blatant blatant favouritism of the younger girls.

[VaSportsMom]

Why has Vickie gone private this time? Has the poor lamb been shipped off to yet another family?

[alexandracabot]

6 hours ago, VaSportsMom said:

Why has Vickie gone private this time? Has the poor lamb been shipped off to yet another family?

This makes me really nervous.

[dianapavelovna]

The last post I saw from her (also the most recent one I can see in my RSS reader) wasn't alarming. She talked about how difficult it is when a child has experienced trauma and how tough it can be to call the police, admit to the hospital, etc., when needed. But that was 8/19.

[SoGladIWasCofE]

Wild speculation, but maybe one of the people from the hospital or somewhere thought either her blog or her attitude to the kid she keeps kicking out was not great parenting.

 

[justwatching]

On ‎8‎/‎28‎/‎2017 at 7:17 AM, Eternalbluepearl said:

I just read some recent blog posts by this crazy woman and I'm sorry but she just learned that dogs chew everything? How could someone not know about the chewing and dive into owning 4 dogs? Not to mention 4 dogs on TOP of the challenges she has with 4 children. The mind boggles. I don't know much about this woman but it seems she really likes the youngest daughter and idealizes the way she plays and takes care of dolls. It sort of mimicks for me the way the mother wants to collect dolls (her 4 children) and have them act out being a family and being cute without real world issues. I think Apple is fulfilling the role of "perfect little girl" for her mother. I wish this woman hadn't adopted 4 children or 4 dogs. 4 dolls would have been fine. 

I'm not a dog person and have never raised a puppy, and even I know that puppies/dogs chew.  You'd about have to be living under a rock not to.

[LilMissMetaphor]

On 9/6/2017 at 3:17 AM, SoGladIWasCofE said:

Wild speculation, but maybe one of the people from the hospital or somewhere thought either her blog or her attitude to the kid she keeps kicking out was not great parenting.

 

No doubt, but it certainly wouldn't be for the first time.  She needs to decide if she only wants the warm fuzzies from people who think she's doing a great job (admittedly possibly fewer and farther between now) or if she wants to touch hearts and convert the non-adopting heathen parents, or whatever her goal is. 

 

[alexandracabot]

I hope she realized her schtick about "traumatized children" wasn't working, given that she brought a lot of trauma and heartache to Avery's life, too.

I follow some adoption blogs of people who are actually good parents and have adopted both directly and via rehoming. it's not a hard and fast rule, but generally the kids who are in their first adoptive families turn out okay, *despite* the trauma of their pasts. It's the kids who have been abandoned twice, or in Avery's case, three times, that end up really struggling. I just can't fathom what being re-homed does to your psyche.

[Stormy]

Just popping in to let everyone know that I had a dream last night where Kimi Thomas and Jill Rodriguez were combined into the same person and she (they?) had just gotten a TV show. I don't know how that happened, but it did. It was terrible. Good night, y'all...

Edited September 14, 2017 by Stormy

[Khan]

@Stormy Please tell me, did this Jillmi wear the shellac makeup? Say "Hiiiiiiiii!"?  Perhaps more the "My firefighter" type?   I wonder which kids would have made it in that mix.

[unholypoledancer]

I'm guessing her blog is still locked or whatever. I had been lurking on this thread for awhile, and was hoping to get an update on the girls. I feel so bad for them and the BS they have to go through. I don't know why she thinks heaping her platter full of kids and dogs she cannot properly care for is a good idea. 

[Maggie Mae]

I'm such a sucker for kids and dogs, I almost forgot how terrible Kimi actually is. Her page is just dogs and kids. She also did something halfway decent and put Blossom and Sissy in some sort of two week camp for kids with disabilities that teaches them some useful skills. 

[unholypoledancer]

I agree! I love kids and dogs too. I would just want to make sure everyone's needs we re being met as best I could. I am happy two of the girls got to go to a camp. I bet it was a welcome diversion from Kimi, and they were relieved to be treated normally. 

[Inthemadhouse]

I've noticed a very interesting trend over the past year of so with these enormous families.  A lot of the main ones (Nogreaterjoymom, The Blessing of Verity, Redemption whispers) have slowly started putting some, if not most of their special needs children in the evil public schools.

I'm not saying that this is a bad thing.  Actually, I think it is a wonderful thing that they are noticing that they are not able to meet their child's needs at home and are making the correct accommodations for them.    They are letting go of some of their convictions in order to provide the best for their child, as it should be.

It highlights one of the issues with these enormous families filled with special needs children, though.  Those 4 babies with Down Syndrome under the age of four that you adopted?  Probably not much more work than having four typical babies.  But as they get older and fall further behind their same aged peers, the difference becomes greater.   Special accomodations, determining if the child will live at home, in a group home, or independently with help.    Dealing with a nonmobile child who can no longer be carried and needs more physical therapy than can be provided at home.       A parent who might feel comfortable teaching a subject to their typically developing kids, but  doesn't know how  to adapt it for their special needs child.  

I wonder how many  of the families who post about  how great and  easy life  is with  their  6 very young special needs  children find out  too late that they are in way over  their heads as  the kids  grow  older, stronger  (or weaker, depending on the special need) and become far less 'cute' to the general public

 

[Stormy]

On 12/3/2017 at 11:19 AM, Inthemadhouse said:

I wonder how many  of the families who post about  how great and  easy life  is with  their  6 very young special needs  children find out  too late that they are in way over  their heads as  the kids  grow  older, stronger  (or weaker, depending on the special need) and become far less 'cute' to the general public

I can't find any other way of putting it without sounding like a grinch, but I can't feel good about these kinds of families. I'm sure that most of them have the best of intentions, but I don't see a lot of thinking ahead; not only will the kids grow and change (as will their needs), but there's no telling how long the adoptive parents will be around. If one (or both) were to have an accident or stroke out, what would happen to the kids? Would they go (back) into foster care? Or would they be offed onto their adoptive relatives, who surely wouldn't have chosen that lifestyle? I can't even begin to comprehend the kind of money* needed for medical equipment, therapy, adoption itself, living accommodations, etc. on top of the expenses that come with raising any child.

It's almost like adoption is addictive. Many of these kids are acquired in a very short time frame -- sometimes with several unrelated children adopted together -- and there looks to be a constant focus of where the next child will come from with no end in sight. There were multiple blogs where there was always a child or two "on standby" while the parents blogged about bringing home or caring for their existing children. I think the lady from "Redemption Whispers" came right out and admitted that she felt compelled to adopt another girl with Down Syndrome to alleviate the grief caused by losing her daughter, Brooke.

[elliha]

In Sweden it is rare that you are allowed to adopt more than two kids, special needs or not because it is so hard to become parents through adoption. I know of rare cases with sibling adoption where people have been allowed to adopt more than 2 but the extreme families you can see in the States with 5-6 or more kids with special needs wouldn't happen. I think that a special needs adoption can be wonderful and special and a truly great thing for all involved but having so many kids and so many with special needs as some of these people have just isn't a good idea. Just being adopted is at least almost a special need, forming bonds to new parents is very hard. If there is also physical challenges and mental challenges it will be greatly increased. I don't want to say that special needs adoptions are wrong but they need to be well-thought out and a very good match of child and family is necessary.