Adoptive "Mothers" 3: Women Who Don't Deserve Mother's Day

[FundieFarmer]

As an adopted daughter, I would have 0 sympathy if nobody gave these spiteful women a single card, glance, or hug on Sunday.

Carrying on from here:

 

[DaisyD]

Should we take bets on the pity part Kimmie throws for herself? Will it be because the girls were uncooperative when she took them shopping all day to buy her something? Or will it be because no one got her anything? 

[Edhelfin]

Even if the girls made her nice cards, pictures or bought gifts, we all know which ones will be displayed - Jie Jie and Apple's, possibly from a few different angles, followed by one photo of Blossom and Sissy at the bottom, holding their Mother's Day presents and smiling at the camera. The way she photographs them when they receive a present of their own (emphasis on the singularity).

[freejugar]

Woah, Kimmie got another dog, one week after the previous one

[Granwych]

3 hours ago, freejugar said:

Woah, Kimmie got another dog, one week after the previous one

Mercifully, it's not another child.  Those poor girls, every single one of them.

[apandaaries]

Hopefully those dogs can provide some of the unconditional love that is otherwise lacking in that house.  

[alexandracabot]

Whoa, Vicky finally made her blog un-private again and it seems like Avery is back with them. Weirdly, she just refers to her as "our little lamb" and "our returned lamb." I wonder what the reasoning behind that is.

Would there have been some legal obligation that would have forced her to take Avery back in after her previous family rejected her, or is this actually Vicky doing something "good"?

[Flossie]

Who is this Vicky and Avery?  Do they have a thread here?  I don't like what I've heard of them so far.  Taking in a 'rehomed' kid, then sending her away, and now she's back again?  It sounds like Avery is in a precarious position, so much rejection has got to scar her emotional development.

[Mercer]

4 hours ago, alexandracabot said:

Would there have been some legal obligation that would have forced her to take Avery back in after her previous family rejected her, or is this actually Vicky doing something "good"?

She most likely has a legal obligation. Until/unless there is a finalized re-adoption by another family, Vicky would be the legal parent. If the other family no longer wanted Avery and Vicky refused to take her back, she would almost certainly face abandonment and neglect charges (the specific neglect charge would probably be inadequate guardianship,) which would put her at risk of losing her other children. My guess is she took Avery back not because she's trying to be a decent person, but rather because she has no real choice.  

[Edhelfin]

6 hours ago, alexandracabot said:

Whoa, Vicky finally made her blog un-private again and it seems like Avery is back with them. Weirdly, she just refers to her as "our little lamb" and "our returned lamb." I wonder what the reasoning behind that is.

That's it. I am done trying to understand what the hell these people are doing.

[DarkAnts]

8 hours ago, Flossie said:

Who is this Vicky and Avery?  Do they have a thread here?  I don't like what I've heard of them so far.  Taking in a 'rehomed' kid, then sending her away, and now she's back again?  It sounds like Avery is in a precarious position, so much rejection has got to scar her emotional development.

This is her blog http://expectingsomethingsobigfromgod.blogspot.com/. She adopted Avery from China. She did not have a good feeling about the adoption while in china. She  justified it by saying she was bringing Avery into the US. She immediately started talking about rehoming Avery after they got back to the states.

 

Fast forward to last year, Avery wound up in the hospital for some unknown reason. Upon discharge from the hospital she went to a respite care house. Vicky wanted the respite care family to adopt Avery but they would not do it. She stayed with the respite care family until a family said they would take Avery. Vicky and all of her siblings drove Avery across state lines to to Averys new "forever" home.

Edited May 14, 2017 by DarkAnts

[keepercjr]

I actually saw and shared the post about Kimmie's new dog when it went missing. We adopted one of our dogs from the same organization.  I am actually glad to see her adopt those dogs.  They are a light spot for the kids and they will give them what K seems unable to.  It also looks like she takes really good care of her pets so that is a plus.  

[samurai_sarah]

32 minutes ago, keepercjr said:

I actually saw and shared the post about Kimmie's new dog when it went missing. We adopted one of our dogs from the same organization.  I am actually glad to see her adopt those dogs.  They are a light spot for the kids and they will give them what K seems unable to.  It also looks like she takes really good care of her pets so that is a plus.  

Glad about the dogs! But the way she takes care of the kids worries me a bit...

[nurselee]

I've been following this thread for awhile and decided to register. Between the Hameloths "rehoming" Josie to the Mussers, and Fencing Mama's awful way she raises her kids, the crap from Vicky and Avery is almost too much. I think it's disgusting that Vicky has done what she did, and I fear for Avery, actually. That kid seems seriously messed up, and I'm sure all the shuttling around hasn't helped her. I think Vicky is calling her "little lamb" in hopes that Avery's name won't come up in a keyword search by her "haters". I guess she doesn't realize that we actually follow her antics, does she? Countdown to another private blog . . . I hope Avery and those other girls have someone watching out for them that can keep an eye on Vicky's abuse.

[Stormy]

Poor Sissy looks so uncomfortable. I think she's mentally checking out more and more as she gets older (hence, "the grin"), and I can't blame her. Despite what Kimi wants people to believe, I don't think she's just "like that", since she's capable of seeming relaxed and engaged with her environment with some consistency; these posts come to mind, as it's usually in candids or when she interacts directly with her sisters. We get the scowl or the deer-in-headlights whenever she's put in a gaudy outfit and asked to pose in front of a tree or something. I worry that she's just going through the motions of her reality.

[Grimalkin]

15 hours ago, alexandracabot said:

Whoa, Vicky finally made her blog un-private again and it seems like Avery is back with them. Weirdly, she just refers to her as "our little lamb" and "our returned lamb." I wonder what the reasoning behind that is.

Would there have been some legal obligation that would have forced her to take Avery back in after her previous family rejected her, or is this actually Vicky doing something "good"?

Holy shit, I read through Avery's adoption and it broke my heart. It's so upsetting.this woman is a monster.

[Lurky]

Vicky made such a big deal about how the other kids were so much happier without Avery - and the chances she was blogging about it and NOT talking about it to the kids - makes the re-re-homing SO much worse.  Not just for poor Avery, but for the other kids.  Ugh, my heart hurts for all of them.

[Grimalkin]

3 hours ago, Lurky said:

Vicky made such a big deal about how the other kids were so much happier without Avery - and the chances she was blogging about it and NOT talking about it to the kids - makes the re-re-homing SO much worse.  Not just for poor Avery, but for the other kids.  Ugh, my heart hurts for all of them.

         They will grow up and look back on this and think WTF! What a horrible woman. I think she is among the worst of the worst of FJ.

[Zola]

9 hours ago, Stormy said:

Poor Sissy looks so uncomfortable. I think she's mentally checking out more and more as she gets older (hence, "the grin"), and I can't blame her. Despite what Kimi wants people to believe, I don't think she's just "like that", since she's capable of seeming relaxed and engaged with her environment with some consistency; these posts come to mind, as it's usually in candids or when she interacts directly with her sisters. We get the scowl or the deer-in-headlights whenever she's put in a gaudy outfit and asked to pose in front of a tree or something. I worry that she's just going through the motions of her reality.

Who wouldn't just go through motions of reality when life in Kimi's house is your reality? Unless you're Apple...then everything is golden. It's so effed up.

I always wonder if Sissy and Blossom feel resentment at seeing Apple, and to a lesser extent, Jie Jie, so blatantly favored. I know I would, and I'm fairly certain that would be the natural human reaction. Good god. Poor Sissy is probably just doing whatever she knows won't earn her extra displeasure from Mommie Dearest.

And I really can't figure out why Kimi thinks it is at all worth it to put them through 3 hours of church in one sitting, especially if it is as difficult for the girls to understand what's going on, or have trouble just enduring the sensory stimulation of it all. There is no shorter service they could attend, at least to build up a bit of tolerance and/or practice before taking on  3 hr service?

I have issues with anxiety, and it's been difficult for me to sit through a one hour church service...I can't imagine 3 hours. I'd end up running down the aisle to the door out, screaming, crying, pulling at my hair. 

Edited May 15, 2017 by Zola

[Maggie Mae]

8 hours ago, Lurky said:

Vicky made such a big deal about how the other kids were so much happier without Avery - and the chances she was blogging about it and NOT talking about it to the kids - makes the re-re-homing SO much worse.  Not just for poor Avery, but for the other kids.  Ugh, my heart hurts for all of them.

I'm not very familiar with Vicky, but I read the last post and it appears that Avery has RAD. I'm not saying there's nothing you can do with RAD kids, but they take a very special kind of family. I couldn't do it.

And if Avery's condition means that the other children are in physical danger, what options does Vicky have? (Other than to not spill it all over the internet, re-homing, taking her back, re-homing,  and making the RAD worse.) 

[Lurky]

Yeah, if it was any other adoptive parents of course - but this is where you're bang on

1 hour ago, Maggie Mae said:

And if Avery's condition means that the other children are in physical danger, what options does Vicky have? (Other than to not spill it all over the internet, re-homing, taking her back, re-homing,  and making the RAD worse.) 

And given that Vicky was feeling uncomfortable about the adoption before even leaving China, and planning to re-home her before she'd even left the country, isn't RAD pretty much inevitable?

[freejugar]

"Of course, when a male dog bellies up for the first time in front of a bunch of girls with intellectual disabilities and a five year-old, questions begin. "

This sentence just isn't right. Does she really need to bring up the disabilities aesk the time?

[Grimalkin]

       I can't wrap my head around Vicky not considering how adopting Avery would affect her family and think through the what ifs before she even considered another adoption. It seems like RAD is a very real possibility. After reading through her posts she never seemed to look at Avery's point of view. It's all Avery is bad. I know Avery said "I'm going to kill you." When mad, it seemed like something she just said, which is wrong of course, but never mentioned her being violent before. It comes up after she is criticized- and doesn't seem reluctant to share other inappropriate and embarrassing things. There is so much wrong with hat story and it just doesn't add up.

4 hours ago, freejugar said:

"Of course, when a male dog bellies up for the first time in front of a bunch of girls with intellectual disabilities and a five year-old, questions begin. "

This sentence just isn't right. Does she really need to bring up the disabilities aesk the time?

Well yeah, it shows how wonderful she is!

         That post is bizarre. My kids have asked similar questions, and it's all very normal, and not something I would even think to blog or post publicly about. I might chuckle with other moms in person. It's just strange.

[apandaaries]

15 hours ago, Grimalkin said:

         That post is bizarre. My kids have asked similar questions, and it's all very normal, and not something I would even think to blog or post publicly about. I might chuckle with other moms in person. It's just strange.

Exactly.  This is something that happens when younger girls haven't spent much if any time in a house with boys or men, or if they haven't been exposed to more explicit art (thinking about you, Michelangelo's David).  This is a matter of education and experience, not intellect.  They've had limited time with men and boys, and no one along the way thought to educate them about anatomy -- and now Kimi is being weird about bodies, labeling genitalia "mating parts," which is absurd.  

[anachronistic]

Sex education for all kids in the US, but especially special needs kids, is sorely lacking. But the fact that these teenagers don't even know what male or female body parts are is horrific. Up to Ninety percent of women with developmental disabilities will be sexually abused in their lifetime. Education about the body and their own rights is key to preventing this. I really, really worry about these girls.