John Shrader Part 12: Empty Baptismal, Empty Brains

[Lurky]

That prayer letter was the weirdest thing - first talking about losing converts, and then about how preaching at two villages left them with no converts there either! And yet he wants to spread the mission to other countries?  The thing I took from it is he'd love to leave Zambia, and isn't very good at his job.

[Carol]

2 hours ago, griffin said:

Thank you Carol! But first, I think I'll ask medical professional Jill Rodrigues if Plexus will help. I see it cures everything else.

I am severely wounded that you would approach Jill for a cure rather than me.  My products are far superior to Jill's.  Plus, I have PROOF!!  Sanford, Dale, Harvord and Princetown* all agree that I am the best!

 

 

*My sons.

[Curious]

1 hour ago, Gobsmacked said:

I would love to know who told John that seeing a WHITE man sitting in the floor was shocking. If any one did. I dont believe him.

 

Glad I'm not the only one.  I spent a minute debating whether to google "do white people sit on the ground in Africa."  It seems like a really odd thing for anyone to be shocked about, but particularly people in "bush country."  It seems to me that people living in the bush probably don't have nice chairs for everyone to sit in.  I'd think they have other priorities.

(I'm not suggesting people who live in the bush don't have furniture or aren't civilized.  I'd just think they have better things to worry about/work on than whether some white guy is too precious to plant his ass on the ground like everyone else). 

[Grimalkin]

     Oh my! I shudder to think what crazy outdated horrific curriculum John learned about Africa from. 

    I saw this on Spiritual Soundingboard

http://zimbabwe-today.com/pastor-trying-walk-water-crocodile-river-gets-eaten-3-crocodiles/

Almost seems like fake news. I wonder if John had heard this.

 A pastor from a local church in White River Mpumalanga died this morning trying to demonstrate a biblical miracle to his congregants.

Pastor Jonathan Mthethwa of the ‘Saint of the last days church drowned into the crocodile River also know as the crocodile river  and was seen by his church members getting eaten by 3 crocodiles.

 “The pastor taught us about faith on Sunday last week. He promised he would demonstrate his faith to us today, but he unfortunately ended up drowning and getting eaten by 3 large crocodiles in front of us. We still don’t understand how this happened because he fasted and prayed the whole week.” said Deacon Nkosi, who is one of the church members.

It is said that Pastor Mthethwa walked into the water and when he was 30 meters inside the river, he attempted to ascend above the water so he can start walking, but the 3 crocodiles appeared out of no where and started feasting on him.

[Carol]

1 hour ago, Gobsmacked said:

 

I would love to know who told John that seeing a WHITE man sitting in the floor was shocking. If any one did. I dont believe him.

WHY would it be shocking? We all have bottoms provided by God to sit on.

WHEN did God tell John that his WHITE bottom was too precious to touch the Zambian earth?

HOW did God convey the information? Which bible verses appeared in John's dreams to let him know?

Curious minds want to know.

 

Ummm...The Gospel of John?  John 1:38

And Jesus said unto John, quit pretending you're special under the baobob tree.  Everyone sits.  Get a grip.  Loser.

 

(The best part about the bible is that I've never read it but I've heard/read enough snips to make up all kinds of shit that is marginally similar).

[formergothardite]

51 minutes ago, Curious said:

It seems like a really odd thing for anyone to be shocked about, but particularly people in "bush country."  It seems to me that people living in the bush probably don't have nice chairs for everyone to sit in.  I'd think they have other priorities.

Exactly! Wouldn't the white folks sit in the same place as everyone else? I guess he is trying to claim all white people demand chairs, but he, being African on the inside sits with "his people".  I bet he expected someone to give him a chair and when they didn't decided he needed to humble brag about how he sat on the ground like the common folk. 

Another thing, he claims that the people literally ran down the hill in excitement, but the video just shows some folks running to get out of the way of his Troupie. 

 

[Curious]

10 minutes ago, formergothardite said:

Another thing, he claims that the people literally ran down the hill in excitement, but the video just shows some folks running to get out of the way of his Troupie. 

 

 

Running down the hill in excitement to see the visitors.  Running down the hill in panic so they don't get hit by a moving vehicle, driven by an oblivious white guy.

po-tay-to.  pa-tah-to

[Grimalkin]

13 minutes ago, formergothardite said:

Exactly! Wouldn't the white folks sit in the same place as everyone else? I guess he is trying to claim all white people demand chairs, but he, being African on the inside sits with "his people".  I bet he expected someone to give him a chair and when they didn't decided he needed to humble brag about how he sat on the ground like the common folk. 

Another thing, he claims that the people literally ran down the hill in excitement, but the video just shows some folks running to get out of the way of his Troupie. 

 

      I think this reflects more on John's upbringing than anything else. I think the fact he mentions it, and thinks like that, shows that he does think it's beneath him.  The picture of the poor black people of Africa running out to meet him sounds like it's something he saw in a movie, it's not the first time he describes this kind of scene. His leg humpers eat it up like it's delicious. I think it says a lot about them too.

[anjulibai]

He talks about one trip he made, visiting just two villages. Why isn't this something he does daily? He should be able to visit dozens of villages each month, or at least a couple of villages many times. How do his followers not see that?

[Grimalkin]

11 minutes ago, anjulibai said:

He talks about one trip he made, visiting just two villages. Why isn't this something he does daily? He should be able to visit dozens of villages each month, or at least a couple of villages many times. How do his followers not see that?

Because they think they are the only ones going to heavan so have no interest in hearing what real missionaries do. They have nothing to compare it too. 

[anjulibai]

1 minute ago, Grimalkin said:

Because they think they are the only ones going to heavan so have no interest in hearing what real missionaries do. They have nothing to compare it too. 

Right, but I don't have any interest in hearing what real missionaries do, and that just really stands out to me. Like, he should be going to either a lot of villages or a couple many, many times. 

These people are stupid. 

[formergothardite]

15 minutes ago, anjulibai said:

He talks about one trip he made, visiting just two villages. Why isn't this something he does daily? He should be able to visit dozens of villages each month, or at least a couple of villages many times. How do his followers not see that?

I think it probably has to do with a very outdated view of Zambia. In their minds John would have to travel days over roads that barely exist to get to these villages that marvel at seeing the Mysterious White Man. Plus he is supposed to be training men to go out to the villages, so it is expected that John will spend most of his time at his home base teaching the Natives how to be Good White Christians so they can go spread the Whiteness around Africa. 

It isn't stupidity*, it is racism. They don't want to think that the people of Zambia are anything but backwards folks who live in huts waiting for the White Man to come save them. 

*continuing to give the fool money when he has shown no sign of being wise with the money he has already been given is just pure stupidity. 

[Gobsmacked]

14 hours ago, formergothardite said:

I think it probably has to do with a very outdated view of Zambia. In their minds John would have to travel days over roads that barely exist to get to these villages that marvel at seeing the Mysterious White Man.

This. X1000.

Can any one techie do a meme of John sitting on the ground holding his blankie, duvet ?

[PennySycamore]

The leghumpers have a picture of Africa straight out of Trader Horn or Tarzan.  Trader Horn is noted for being the first non-documentary actually shot in Africa.  The film features a blonde, white jungle queen who is the lost daughter of a missionary and a scene where Alfred Aloyious "Trader" Horn (Harry Carey) swings across a croc-infested river on a vine.  One of those damn crocodiles nearly took Carey's leg off. At least, Carey didn't try to walk across the river and I mean walk on top of the river. 

[Lurky]

15 hours ago, Grimalkin said:

Almost seems like fake news. I wonder if John had heard this

Totally seems like fake news, but I laughed and laughed!

[subsaharanafrica]

Is anyone else reading between the lines in the letter that he's given up on Burundi and his new escape plan is either Mozambique or Zim? (And since he doesn't speak Portugeuse it has got to be Zimbabwe.)

[clearingthingsup]

15 hours ago, Grimalkin said:

     “The pastor taught us about faith on Sunday last week. He promised he would demonstrate his faith to us today, but he unfortunately ended up drowning and getting eaten by 3 large crocodiles in front of us. We still don’t understand how this happened because he fasted and prayed the whole week.” said Deacon Nkosi, who is one of the church members.

Unfortunately stuff like this is pretty common there. Faith healers are very popular & many try doing "miracles" to prove their special powers from the Holy Spirit. I think it is somewhat due to a large amount of Pentecostal influence.

Not long ago I read about a pastor in Zambia who had convinced his congregation he had the power to walk through fire like Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego, and he could give them that power too. He set his church building on fire and a ton of people died, including children & himself. I actually would not be too surprised if the crocodile story happened. 

The idea that God can give one supernatural powers is extremely popular among the religious in Zambia. 

[slickcat79]

5 minutes ago, subsaharanafrica said:

Is anyone else reading between the lines in the letter that he's given up on Burundi and his new escape plan is either Mozambique or Zim?

Absolutely. I think all surrounding areas are interchangeable to him. He learned almost nothing practical about Zambia before going there, so it doesn't matter if he knows anything about the rest "Sub Sahara Africa". The most important thing is that Kafue is not working, so he needs to leave his "planted" churches and go somewhere else. 

[formergothardite]

Yeah, his letter was basically saying "this isn't fun anymore, I want to go somewhere else." He travels around not converting folks and then the few converts he did gain jump ship and declare him a con artist. Things are not going well in Zambia at all. 

[Peas n carrots]

Is anyone else reading between the lines in the letter that he's given up on Burundi and his new escape plan is either Mozambique or Zim? (And since he doesn't speak Portugeuse it has got to be Zimbabwe.)

Zimbabwe? I may be behind on what I know, but if I recall correctly Mugabe was hostile towards to Rhodesians and confiscated their lands. Is the nations welcoming towards idiotic white American wannabe missionaries?

[Gobsmacked]

7 minutes ago, Peas n carrots said:

 

Zimbabwe? I may be behind on what I know, but if I recall correctly Mugabe was hostile towards to Rhodesians and confiscated their lands. Is the nations welcoming towards idiotic white American wannabe missionaries?

 

I very much doubt it. VISA prices for tourists in Zambia to visit Zimbabwe have dropped this year. Zimbabwe has realised that the tourist market brings in revenue.

[subsaharanafrica]

From what I understand it's easier to get a residence visa in Zimbabwe than in Zambia*. It's just that far fewer people want to move there because of its economic issues.

 

* No idea if this also applies to missionaries. 

[SPHASH]

Johnny just confirmed he impregnated Esther again.

Due in Dec.

[Gobsmacked]

45 minutes ago, SPHASH said:

Johnny just confirmed he impregnated Esther again.

Due in Dec.

Could you post his post please? For the blocked. Thanks.

[Loveday]

1 hour ago, SPHASH said:

Johnny just confirmed he impregnated Esther again.

Due in Dec.

I'm glad I'm alone right now, because I wouldn't want to have to explain why I just said, 'Oh, shit' out loud.