Contortion, ballet and juggling for Jesus

[lilah]

If you're a fundie snd you've grow tired of the Duggar and Roriguii's pedestrian forms of Christian music you should check out Keri Nueske. She does a variety show for Jesus and it includes, dance ballet and contortion. 

 

My favorite it when she squeezes into a tennis racket and juggles and the contort herself through a folding chair  and it's all a big metaphor for loving Jesus. 

 

[Tjay]

Wow that modest aerobics wear...

do you guys have a best dressed and worst dressed fundies award? I know she definitely wouldn't be the worst, but for a young 'hip' fundie, it's not the best look.

[Four is Enough]

As least she has shown she has legs. I thought she looked fine.

I did notice that in her "ballet", she wasn't wearing toe shoes. Probably because with toe shoes she might be tempted to try to be come a prima ballerina, and a man would have to lift her up and hold her in places single young women shouldn't be held in, by men other than their spouses.

[louisa05]

That's a new one. I have seen juggling for Jesus, skateboarding for Jesus, martial arts for Jesus and had to play laser tag for Jesus at a school retreat once; but contortions for Jesus is one I never would have thought about. 

Evangelicals are so weird sometimes. And they don't even realize that for most of the non-Evangelical world, this is all just bizarre and for those who are Christian but not evangelical, it often comes off as irreverent as well as ridiculous. 

[Palimpsest]

I suppose she has some talent.

I have nightmares about at some point being stuck in an Assisted Living or NF and having to sit through something like this.  Juggling for Jesus, indeed, with added preaching.

I suppose if I were stuck in a NF I could go all Titus 2 woman on this poor youngster just for my own evil amusement. 

"Hey, little girl.  Don't you be trying to teach old ladies about Jesus!  You are maligning the word of God by doing this act.  It is for me to teach you, urge you to love your husband and children, be self-controlled, pure, busy at home and kind.  And subject to your husband, of course.  Where is he by the way? " 

[lilah]

Her technique is pretty mediocre.  She cheats on her splits and she doesn't point her toes. I don't know enough about ballet to critique it but she definitely should work on her extension and posture

4 hours ago, Four is Enough said:

As least she has shown she has legs. I thought she looked fine.

I did notice that in her "ballet", she wasn't wearing toe shoes. Probably because with toe shoes she might be tempted to try to be come a prima ballerina, and a man would have to lift her up and hold her in places single young women shouldn't be held in, by men other than their spouses.

You need to train ballet very seriously to be able to go up on pointe and have the foot and ankle strength to support being on pointe. I'm not a ballet expert but she does not look like someone who trains dance enough to be on pointe safely. 

[formergothardite]

2 hours ago, Palimpsest said:

I have nightmares about at some point being stuck in an Assisted Living or NF and having to sit through something like this.  Juggling for Jesus, indeed, with added preaching.

When my grandma was put in a nursing home it suddenly dawned on me how often religious groups target people in these homes. My grandma turned a whole lot cranky and brutally honest in her last years and they tended to avoid her.  

One of the weirdest things I sat through was in my early 20's when I attended a pretty non-fundie Southern Baptist church and they brought in these guys who ripped phone books in half for Jesus. You could also take a trip to the Holy Land with them. I wonder if they are still around and what they rip in half now that phone books are pretty obsolete. 

[formergothardite]

She Twirls Towels for Jesus in this video.

 

[purjolok84]

She Twirls Towels for Jesus in this video.
 

Well, I now feel convicted! Let me just get my towels and it's off to the park!

[Phoenix]

So fundies just pick their favorite athletics or hobbies and then perform them for others like it or not?. These performances are then justified as claiming these activities are for Jesus? I don't have the faintest idea how examples in this thread serve Jesus, practice his teachings or benefit other human beings in any way, shape or form. Is this sort of thing part of the "She/He has a heart for the Lord" character attribute that we hear about with every recorded courtship announcement?

As an outsider looking in this all seems a lot like, "Come on over and see the slides of my trip to the corn/railroad tie/abandoned factory capital of the world." Um, sorry Timmy has a book report due and I ah have to wash my hair and the gerbil died, funeral at the same time as your twirling towels for Jesus event, so sorry I cannot make it. (Quick honey, close the blinds so the neighbors who can't get out of it don't know we are just watching TV.)

It sounds like piety through forced boredom to me. 

[louisa05]

22 minutes ago, Phoenix said:

So fundies just pick their favorite athletics or hobbies and then perform them for others like it or not?. These performances are then justified as claiming these activities are for Jesus? I don't have the faintest idea how examples in this thread serve Jesus, practice his teachings or benefit other human beings in any way, shape or form. Is this sort of thing part of the "She/He has a heart for the Lord" character attribute that we hear about with every recorded courtship announcement?

As an outsider looking in this all seems a lot like, "Come on over and see the slides of my trip to the corn/railroad tie/abandoned factory capital of the world." Um, sorry Timmy has a book report due and I ah have to wash my hair and the gerbil died, funeral at the same time as your twirling towels for Jesus event, so sorry I cannot make it. (Quick honey, close the blinds so the neighbors who can't get out of it don't know we are just watching TV.)

It sounds like piety through forced boredom to me. 

In my experience having seen juggling for Jesus and martial arts for Jesus several times as well as having witnessed the playing of laser tag for Jesus, these presentations usually come with some bizarre lecturing in which the performer (or moderator of the event in the case of laser tag) attempts to draw life lessons of how to be a good Christian from whatever activity is being performed or (even worse) draw bizarre analogies between the life of Jesus and the event/activity. As you may assume, these lessons or analogies are terribly contrived and usually downright ridiculous. But when I have seen them, the evangelical audiences ate them up and proclaimed them great "testimony" and felt that the whole thing would draw many people into the faith. 

[FeministShrew]

4 hours ago, formergothardite said:

One of the weirdest things I sat through was in my early 20's when I attended a pretty non-fundie Southern Baptist church and they brought in these guys who ripped phone books in half for Jesus. You could also take a trip to the Holy Land with them. I wonder if they are still around and what they rip in half now that phone books are pretty obsolete. 

Power Team! They used to be in my hometown a lot, but I never saw them in person. The one time they came to a church I attended, I volunteered to switch nursery duty with someone who really wanted to see them. 
Of course I had to Google them. They are now Todd Keene and the Power Team 2.0, "a group of world class athletes who have performed the world’s greatest exhibitions of power, strength, speed, inspiration, and motivation in every state and in over 40 countries for over 30 years. They use their talents to spread the gospel and inspire people around the world to make positive changes in their lives."
They will perform at churches, schools, and even businesses. They seem to be trying to market themselves as motivational speakers now.

There is a local husband and wife team who use their "talents" to evangelize. He's a cheesey magician for Jesus, she's a clown for Jesus, and they are both ventriloquists (really, really, bad ventriloquists). He mostly performs at Upward banquets, and they both are regularly booked by local restaraunts to harass entertain the patrons. My kids hated the clown lady and would duck under the table so she wouldn't see them & try to interact with them. In real life they are the two most judgy, holier-than-thou people I've ever met.
They were also heavily involved in some MLM scam - Herbal Life, maybe? They bragged about a free car for awhile, but their social media pages have been scrubbed of all mention of whatever it was they were shilling. 
 

[PopRox]

I totally understand worship dance-- when I was 19-20 I was involved in a dance company that did ballet/lyrical dances to hymns and contemporary Christian songs (I also performed liturgical dance for our church's Easter services during high school). It was an expression of worship along to music, we wore pretty flowy dresses... kind of like she was doing at the very beginning of the first video. That I have no issue with.

But the contortion/juggling stuff... I can't figure out what in the world that has to do with worship? I mean, it's impressive-- I sure as heck can't contort like that-- and if I saw her doing that at a Circus arts show I'd be like "yeah, that's awesome." But seeing it done in a church setting along to worship music was just eleven kinds of awkward and uncomfortable. Especially in that loud, clingy outfit! I'm glad I only saw that in a video and not live, because I would have felt so WEIRD and maybe secondhand-embarrassed.

I'm not even going to comment on her technique (I'm a ballet teacher of nearly 14 years); mostly because I just flew back from a week-long ballet festival today and I'm too tired/jet-lagged to talk shop, lol.

[lilah]

58 minutes ago, PopRox said:

I totally understand worship dance-- when I was 19-20 I was involved in a dance company that did ballet/lyrical dances to hymns and contemporary Christian songs (I also performed liturgical dance for our church's Easter services during high school). It was an expression of worship along to music, we wore pretty flowy dresses... kind of like she was doing at the very beginning of the first video. That I have no issue with.

But the contortion/juggling stuff... I can't figure out what in the world that has to do with worship? I mean, it's impressive-- I sure as heck can't contort like that-- and if I saw her doing that at a Circus arts show I'd be like "yeah, that's awesome." But seeing it done in a church setting along to worship music was just eleven kinds of awkward and uncomfortable. Especially in that loud, clingy outfit! I'm glad I only saw that in a video and not live, because I would have felt so WEIRD and maybe secondhand-embarrassed.

I'm not even going to comment on her technique (I'm a ballet teacher of nearly 14 years); mostly because I just flew back from a week-long ballet festival today and I'm too tired/jet-lagged to talk shop, lol.

I'd love to hear your insights some other time. 

[PennySycamore]

5 minutes ago, lilah said:

I'd love to hear your insights some other time. 

So would I,  @PopRox.  I'm more of a balletomane as well as an old ballet mom and I'd love to hear your critique once you've decompressed from your weekend.

[PreciousPantsofDoom]

What the fuck did I just watch? That towel twirling thing was. ...something.

I confess that I had the sound off the whole time because I can't stand angsty Jesus music. The video was as if she was doing that thing 5 year olds do where they keep asking you to watch while they perform various "fancy" moves they make up ( even in 5 year olds that wears thin pretty fast-and 5 year olds are cute.)  Interspersed with random Bible quotes.  Wut?   

Was there supposed to be a message to this? From what I saw, she wanders into a park with a phone book (turns out to be a Bible, but it looked like the yellow pages to me) Does a quick bit of limbering up with a convenient folding chair.  Then feels the need to do some high kicks and or split jumps. Checks to see if can do same moves in frumpy black maxi skirt.  Yup. Takes break to read a Bible verse at random. Does some more twirls and kicks and bad wardrobe changes, this time with leaves flying up around her. Also bad overexposed lighting effects (is that supposed to be Jesus?) Close ups of arm twirling. Some weird shit where she crawls around loving ALL the leaves.  Lots of lame moves on a dirt path, including lots more of the move I have come to call the "I fart in your general direction" 

Spoiler

 

Also another sequence involving her giving a tree some lovin for Jesus.

Spoiler

I bailed when she got to the towels. So,so bad. I just cannot. 

Only bone I can throw her is that she is much more flexible than I am.  But I feel sure Jesus wants her to stop making videos all the same. 

[WhatWouldJohnCrichtonDo?]

5 hours ago, FeministShrew said:

Power Team! They used to be in my hometown a lot, but I never saw them in person.

I'm pretty sure I saw them at a junior high school assembly in 1982 or 83. In addition to the phone book ripping, one of them inflated a hot water bottle  (by blowing air into it) until it burst.

Now I'm wondering who in the school administration thought that was a good idea for a public school assembly. 

[MamaJunebug]

Meh, I can't get too worked up about Keri in the OP. At least she isn't simpering like a garden variety Jillymuffin type nor baby-voicing it like Meechelle .... and thank heavens she isnt snotting meanly like Debi Pearl nor Vicki Botkin.

And she apparently performs without any umbrella of a headship standing solemnly onstage!  

In fact, her modest red acro suit reminds me of my favorite PJs! Good night, all. 

[ak1188]

That was so bizarre and uncomfortable to watch.  I had the sound off, so I probably missed it, but I don't see how squeezing yourself through a coat hanger and a tennis racket has anything to do with Jesus.

My youth group had some guy come and break bricks with his head for Jesus.  That was interesting too, but I don't remember much about it other than it happened.  I'm pretty sure I got a signed chunk of the brick that sat on the floor of my closet for a few years before it got thrown away...

[EmiGirl]

Holy deal I was obsessed with the Lower Team for a while after they came to my town. I remember they ruined the local high school's gym floor with something they did with ice. Also a lot of kids got "saved" so they could be up close for some of the stuff. They also did a program at the schools during an assembly that wasn't religious,  just anti drug stuff.

[Maxwell]

8 hours ago, purjolok84 said:

 

Well, I now feel convicted! Let me just get my towels and it's off to the park!

One should always know where one's towel is!

[Maxwell]

8 hours ago, Phoenix said:

So fundies just pick their favorite athletics or hobbies and then perform them for others like it or not?. These performances are then justified as claiming these activities are for Jesus?

Oh, it's not just athletics/hobbies... it's pretty much everything.  Anything can be "redeemed" by sprinkling a little Christianity over it and calling it good.  All the major holidays take advantage of it as do most preachers, and the really "hard core" believers.  "The beauty of God contained in His creation (nature)"?  I'm good with that but when people start making up ways to impart some deep religious meaning into every aspect of life...well, that's a large part of why I have unplugged from religious matrix.

[formergothardite]

9 hours ago, FeministShrew said:

Power Team! They used to be in my hometown a lot, but I never saw them in person.

That is who it was! I just remember sitting there wondering how this was supposed to be saving people and that it was annoying when they would mention their trip to the Holy Land about every five minutes trying to sell spots. 

 

4 hours ago, WhatWouldJohnCrichtonDo? said:

one of them inflated a hot water bottle  (by blowing air into it) until it burst.

Now that you mention it, I remember a guy doing this.

It seems like they are still doing they same stuff. 

Spoiler

 

 

[December]

22 hours ago, Palimpsest said:

I have nightmares about at some point being stuck in an Assisted Living or NF and having to sit through something like this.  Juggling for Jesus, indeed, with added preaching.

Same. When I was in grade school , they would send us to do little concerts for people in nursing homes (or bus them to our auditorium). I remember asking my parents why I had to participate, because I couldn't imagine these people really wanted to sit through our awful, boring performances! 

16 hours ago, Phoenix said:

So fundies just pick their favorite athletics or hobbies and then perform them for others like it or not?

It does usually look like they're shoehorning the religion into a hobby they're already interested in. My theory is people just come up with a big list of words that are tangentially related to their hobby, scan the Bible for passages that include one, then BOOM! instant religious relevance! 

[StacyW]

On 5/7/2017 at 6:05 AM, lilah said:

If you're a fundie snd you've grow tired of the Duggar and Roriguii's pedestrian forms of Christian music you should check out Keri Nueske. She does a variety show for Jesus and it includes, dance ballet and contortion. 

 

My favorite it when she squeezes into a tennis racket and juggles and the contort herself through a folding chair  and it's all a big metaphor for loving Jesus. 

I was hoping the tennis racket still had the webbing - I thought she would split into about 100 skinny pieces and then reform herself.