Seewalds 22 - Funerals and Embryo Cake

[ak1188]

Point taken. A Duggar kiddult talking openly and honestly and not sticking to their usual joyful script is absolutely something I would pay money for. And as I think about it more, Ben could certainly offer an interesting perspective too, considering this is a lifestyle that he actively sought out and is new to reality TV compared to the rest of the Duggars. The context of the event just made me assume it would be more of the same old stuff, which I don't find interesting. There's also something about him that has always been off-putting to me, and I can't put my finger on exactly what it is. I have trouble watching his talking heads because I can't take him seriously and I have a really hard time wrapping my head around the idea that other people might really look up to him. Like out of all the people in the world, or even just the US, this is the guy people want to hear from? I also have the same feeling about Scott Disick of the Kardashians, but at least he's funny sometimes.

Love the bingo card idea, but would probably end up using that checklist to be the buzzwords for a drinking game. There's an open bar at that conference, right??

[HereticHick]

Thank you Rufus for the gift of auto-correct.

[Four is Enough]

Why do people jam binkies in kids' mouths when they keep spitting them out? 

[VelociRapture]

8 minutes ago, Four is Enough said:

Why do people jam binkies in kids' mouths when they keep spitting them out? 

My daughter LOVED her binkie when she was younger. She didn't have the strength to keep it in her mouth on her own though. So it'd fall out and she'd cry until we popped it back in for her. Could be that Henry is the same way.

(Velocibaby recently decided she prefers her hand and thumb over binkies. Thankfully. Velocipuppy had a bad habit of stealing the ones she could reach. I even caught her oh so gently pulling the binkie out of the baby's mouth once - I was literally sitting right next to the baby and she honestly thought I wouldn't notice. )

[foreign fundie]

4 hours ago, ak1188 said:

Point taken. A Duggar kiddult talking openly and honestly and not sticking to their usual joyful script is absolutely something I would pay money for. And as I think about it more, Ben could certainly offer an interesting perspective too, considering this is a lifestyle that he actively sought out and is new to reality TV compared to the rest of the Duggars. The context of the event just made me assume it would be more of the same old stuff, which I don't find interesting. There's also something about him that has always been off-putting to me, and I can't put my finger on exactly what it is. I have trouble watching his talking heads because I can't take him seriously and I have a really hard time wrapping my head around the idea that other people might really look up to him. Like out of all the people in the world, or even just the US, this is the guy people want to hear from? I also have the same feeling about Scott Disick of the Kardashians, but at least he's funny sometimes.

Love the bingo card idea, but would probably end up using that checklist to be the buzzwords for a drinking game. There's an open bar at that conference, right??

I would order a taxi home before you are to drunk to dail the number. Really, the thing that amazes me most about the Duggar circus is how they can keep their platform while being repetitive to the extreme, so predictable that any of us could do Jessa's speech for her if she had a sore throat and so limited in their religious viewpoints that they give me theological claustrophobia.

[VineHeart137]

Yup, like Velocirapture said, some babies need practice to get the oral strength needed to hold a paci in. So it's not so much that they're spitting it out, it's that they can't hold it in and need help.

I'm glad I don't have to break her of it now, but when my kid was a baby I wished popping in a pacifier was all it took. She didn't like her thumb either. The only thing that consoled her was my boobs. Half the time I didn't even bother snapping my nursing bra back into place. I once answered the door with one of "the girls" hanging out of my bra (thankfully, still covered by my shirt). The pizza guy was very nice and did not stare at my lopsided chest. Oh well, I didn't have much shame at the time anyway.

[karen77]

1 hour ago, VelociRapture said:

My daughter LOVED her binkie when she was younger. She didn't have the strength to keep it in her mouth on her own though. So it'd fall out and she'd cry until we popped it back in for her. Could be that Henry is the same way.

(Velocibaby recently decided she prefers her hand and thumb over binkies. Thankfully. Velocipuppy had a bad habit of stealing the ones she could reach. I even caught her oh so gently pulling the binkie out of the baby's mouth once - I was literally sitting right next to the baby and she honestly thought I wouldn't notice. )

I was glad when we didn't have to do a paci for my daughter because she found her thumb...later regretted that! she sucked her thumb until she was about 7.5 I think.... Son didn't..only did a paci and we were rid of that at 2.5, so much easier to ditch too!...hard to cut off a thumb.

[mydoggoskeeper]

7 hours ago, flycat said:

We can add

laid on so and so's heart 

mission

Lets not forget my personal (least) favourite "purposed to"

[luxfilia]

Confession (and I totally understand why many disagree): It really irks me when people say babies are finally "getting cute." People are saying this about Henry, but he was cute from day 1 to me. I think babies can be very cute before they are smiling a lot and before they have put on lots of weight. Of course I find chunky, giggly babies to be adorable, but I always saw Henry as the baby he is now, with full potential to be who he now is. Don't know if that makes sense. But people keep saying he is "getting" cute, and to me he always had it in him; he's the same kid after all. Now, I have seen one or two babies who were NOT cute at birth and now, several years later, still aren't. I hate how newborns get hate just for being newborns.

[Granwych]

On ‎5‎/‎15‎/‎2017 at 7:09 PM, Rachel333 said:

I always have a hard time reading Ben's writing. Something about it just makes me cringe.

Every damn word makes me cringe.

[Timetostoplurking]

A few things to add.....

Parents use binkies to stop baby's from fussing.  That's all!!  Parents know what works. We would pretty much do anything to keep them quiet.  Ha

Ben is sooooooo cringe worthy.  I get so much second hand embarrassment every time he speaks/writes something.  He is a boy! His lectures are patronizing.  Go away Ben!  Come back when you grow up.  When/if you do come back, I hope you do an "about face" on your opinions.

Yes! Those kids are cute! Of course they are.  As are 99% of all other kids under 5 that I have ever seen.  There! Done! We don't need to argue about it anymore.  There looks are really really unimportant.  It's the awful parental beliefs that are important.

 But....I must say, that I would rather talk about anything than eating placentas.   Ugh!!!! Let's never go there again.  

 

[Four is Enough]

Mr. Four has always said that newborns all look like monkeys. He even said that about our first child. I had to train him to NOT say that in front of any other parents.

 

I find it interesting to watch how babies change as they grow.

[VelociRapture]

9 minutes ago, Four is Enough said:

Mr. Four has always said that newborns all look like monkeys. He even said that about our first child. I had to train him to NOT say that in front of any other parents.

 

I find it interesting to watch how babies change as they grow.

My sister and I regularly talk about how our children resembled gremlins as newborns. The ones from that phenomenal movie made in the 1980s. I also like telling husband our daughter looked like a potato. 

ETA: 

Actual photo of Velocibaby and Velocinephew (despite them being ten months apart in age.) 

[Four is Enough]

My husband would also sing the "Little Wooden Head" song from Pinocchio to him when he gave him a bath. Talk about causing image issues....

[Bad Wolf]

@VelociRapture Smart babies, already singing Christmas carols. I loved that part of the movie.

[luxfilia]

17 hours ago, Timetostoplurking said:

[SNIPPED]
Yes! Those kids are cute! Of course they are.  As are 99% of all other kids under 5 that I have ever seen.  There! Done! We don't need to argue about it anymore.  There looks are really really unimportant.  It's the awful parental beliefs that are important.

I didn't see anyone arguing about whether the Seewald kids are cute. I was the one who mentioned, though, that I personally dislike when people think most newborns are ugly and don't recognize the positive qualities (that I believe they always had) until a few months later, when they put on weight and seem to interact more.

Of course the "awful parenting beliefs" are important.

But I think it's also valuable to discuss how our society--even some on our forum--speak about and label children solely based on their appearance, often deeming them "ugly," "old men," or "potatoes" when they are born, only to SQUEE about them as soon as they fatten up.

And, again, I understand that people here are simply expressing their opinions, to which they're entitled, and none of us is taking themselves too seriously on this topic, especially compared to the much weightier things we discuss.

But the fact that Spurgeon vs. Henry is even a topic and that people are commenting so matter-of-factly about a child's progress in the "cuteness" arena, to me, does play a part in the fundie dicussion, where keeping sweet or drawing attention to one's countenance is key.

Also, thread drift happens here. A lot. Especially in the Duggars and Bates threads, where people tend to flock even when there's no news. I once mentioned that I was annoyed when we were arguing about/debating duvets vs. comforters/blankets/sheets, etc. for the umpteenth time for many many pages. People told me (paraphrasing) to read elsewhere, then, as it was a welcome reprieve from the more depressing topics. Although I wanted to point out that they could discuss duvets on a more appropriate topic/board, it made sense to me that thread drift is a gray area and perhaps there is value in everything discussed here, in some way.

I'm not sure stating your own opinion and then saying "DONE!" really works here. If we start policing the drift too much, it inhibits the ongoing conversation. I've found it works much better to ask a question that leads the conversation elsewhere, or simply to change the subject.

 

[VelociRapture]

@luxfiliaMy kid did resemble a potato. That's what happens when you're born vaginally - you get a case of squish face. Her's was more pronounced because she was also premature, so she literally had no body fat. I thought she was beautiful, adorable, and perfect in every way. But yeah, I still thought she looked like a potato.

If someone wants to talk about a kid that way in a lighthearted and loving manner, I don't see a problem with it. You can think a baby looks like a potato/gremlin and also is adorable at the same time - it's not always meant as an insult. If someone is being blatantly mean to someone else's kid that's not really fair though. The Duggars choose to put their kids on tv and open themselves up to comments for that reason, but I've never been a big fan of snarking on appearance. Especially when it comes to kids who have no choice in the matter.

(And for the record - Both Seewald boys looked like potatos at birth and both were adorable at birth. Izzy looked more like a little old man and he was pretty adorable too. All three are still adorable, though less potatoey/old man looking.)

ETA: Completely agree on thread drift. There have been some that I hated, but I love the fact that drift is a welcomed and accepted part of the community here. It leads to highly entertaining situations - like people panicking because a thread is labelled "Hot" and they're worried it's another pregnancy, but it's really just pages of super hot celebrities. 

[OyToTheVey]

My nephew is a redhead, when he was born he was super blotchy and scaley. So he was a funny looking baby for awhile. Love him to bits but it wasn't pretty the first few months lol

[Timetostoplurking]

Just for the record.....the "super hot celebrity" thread drift was my favorite thread drift of all!!

[Rachel333]

I've always found it kind of weird when people are okay with calling adults ugly but not babies. Unlike adults, babies don't care and are going to change quickly anyway! I've seen some seriously ugly babies turn into adorable kids.

[marmalade]

I guess I'm lucky that I have no pictures before I was adopted at 6 months. I was a 34 week premie, 5#3oz., so I must have looked like a tiny alien. My first pic: 

 

 

[Icea]

My niece was born via planned c-section, and was very small at that point, with very little body fat. She also had very dark hair all over her body and even down on her cheeks (I don't remember what this type of hair is called, it falls off after a few days), so yeah, she looked like a little monkey. Still very cute, but that was my very first reaction when I saw pics of her.

[Carm_88]

My Dad asked my Mom as one point which of us kids were "Ugly and red." It was me! I also looked like an old man and didn't have much body fat. I improved as the months went on.  

That being said when I say Henry is getting cuter, I don't mean he wasn't cute to begin with. I thought he was squishable at the start.

[Lurker]

One of the problems with "cute" expectations for infants is the fact that babies in the media are always pictured round, dimpled and smiling, like the Gerber baby.

You will never see a baby that has a squished head or black eyes from delivery nor a baby that is under 8 pounds.

I was in preterm labor at 30 weeks with my first in the hospital and my doctor made sure that I was taken by the NICU a few times to actually see what premies looked like. 

When my daughter was born 7 weeks later under 5 lbs, 8 oz., I was prepared for her lack of fat and thought she looked beautiful and amazing.   No one else thought she was cute at all because she was mottled pink and blue with no fat,  the hair they called lanugo on her ears, face, neck and back, plus some other skin crud. The top of her head was molded  plus she had a crusty scab from her monitor during the labor and delivery process.

It took months for her to fill out and look like a pretty, healthy baby that everyone  could coo over.

[front hugs > duggs]

As I mentioned recently in one of the threads, my sister was adopted from Vietnam, her Vietnamese name something along the lines of Mai Dung. Parents received her picture, all jaundiced up and with baby acne. The adoption agency sent the picture of her saying like "we understand if you don't want her....."

Almost 17 years later and that same blotchy baby is now a spunky, sassy, beautiful young woman.