Jana's Future 4 - Family Ties

[CoveredInBees]

2 hours ago, Greendoor said:

Jana and John David are Capricorn.  

My very sober-sided, conservative and serious younger brother is a Capricorn.  He was an old man at 7 and is finally about 30 now that's he's in his 50's.  They age the other way around.

 

Well he might, but I don't really think it works like that.

My brother and I are both Capricorns and he has always been a pain in the arse  

[Snarkle Motion]

9 hours ago, PainfullyAware said:

I'm not really convinced someone could mentally stick with being in Jana's position but secretly doubt everything- for what reason? You would leave because otherwise the cognitive dissonance would be too much! She may be skeptical of certain things, or the extremes they take their beliefs to, but I believe she accepts the general duggar worldview, even if only to rationalize the limitations she lives with.

I think she may still be religious but questions her parents and the cult. And she doesn't have many options for leaving as it would be extremely hard for her to make it on her own without a spouse and breaking with the family would mean instant media attention.

I think she also feels a sense of responsibility to protect the younger children, including her nieces and nephews, and may not want to leave for this reason as she is essentially their maternal figure. But the fact that we don't get a good sense of her on camera lends me to believe she's pretty well practiced in hiding her true feelings. It also really struck me that Michelle once said that she was as spirited and strong willed as Jessa initially.  Either she had that personality completely beaten out of her or she figured out a different way to channel her independent will that still allowed her to survive in the cult, play by their rules, and protect her siblings who are basically her own children.

[HarleyQuinn]

From Big Sandy, with her full name on her name tag for some reason. 

[OyToTheVey]

Jana actually has the biggest opportunity possible to a Fundy daughter. If she only knew. She's pretty and very sell-able. If she wanted to leave, she could make a killing if she told her story. She's get so much money for a few articles and she can disappear and do her own thing after.

[HarleyQuinn]

I wish one of these kids would write a critical tell all. I would throw my money at them so fast.

[Bad Wolf]

I'd love to read a tell all book, too. But who wants to throw their family under the bus? Especially with so many young children still there.

[Unicorn]

13 hours ago, PainfullyAware said:

I'm not really convinced someone could mentally stick with being in Jana's position but secretly doubt everything- for what reason? You would leave because otherwise the cognitive dissonance would be too much! She may be skeptical of certain things, or the extremes they take their beliefs to, but I believe she accepts the general duggar worldview, even if only to rationalize the limitations she lives with.

Absolutely they could.  I did, and I was 27, the oldest daughter, and the last unmarried girl standing in my immediate social circle.  My situation was more what I'd consider fundie light and my parents weren't as successful at sheltering me as they thought they were, but I could easily believe Jana is in the same type of situation on a more large scale and publicly observed level.  She does have Internet access.  She is a responsible and bright girl who hides her feelings.  Of course it's possible she's less sheltered than presumed by everyone, including her parents.

Why not leave?  As others have said, she has younger siblings to take of.  She's probably especially concerned for her younger sisters.  How could she be there for them if excommunicated?  For that matter, she doesn't want to hurt her parents.  Having different beliefs doesn't mean arguments and additional heartbreak are necessary.  

I have a younger sister who fought our parents on Christianity like it was her mission to evangelize atheism to them.  That didn't change our parents.  That just caused every conversation between them to be a stressful battle, and she got Christian books and movies for her birthday and Christmas instead of actual gifts. 

Keep quiet and they won't bother you.  It's not cognitive dissonance so much as playing double agent and liason.

You learn this early on if you were beaten into submission as a child.  It's horrible, but I'm speaking from firsthand experience.  

If you're wondering, I ended up fine.  I live in a very rural cabin, more rural than where my parents live, with a lovely and kind husband my age.  He was also raised fundie light and the reason he married "late" is because he has a moderate physical disability and mild mental disabilities that disqualify him from most jobs.  I'm the breadwinner.  I was able to get a "real job" with only nanny and housekeeping experience prior.  If you've ever read the Elsie Dinsmore book where a childhood friend wants to marry her and her father fully disapproves, then you know how things went in my husband's previous relationships.  My parents thought I was ridiculous, but also knew me to be responsible and ultimately they knew I knew they couldn't really stop me.

Jana has more younger siblings to protect than I did.  I predict she'll move on in her own way when she decides they're going to be okay in the house without her, and she'll be neither rebellious (by most standards) or disappointing.

[HarleyQuinn]

1 hour ago, Bad Wolf said:

I'd love to read a tell all book, too. But who wants to throw their family under the bus? Especially with so many young children still there.

I would, but I'm an asshole. 

[MayMay1123]

17 hours ago, Carm_88 said:

Why does she have to be Jana Marie Duggar? How many other Jana Duggar's are there? 

*In the real world, not on instagram!*

I wonder if she's trying, a little bit, to fly under the radar. If she's running around with Jana DUGGAR on her chest then that's definitely gonna cause attention. I know a lot of women are going by their first and middle names, no last name, on Facebook for a bit of anonymity. 

[Snarkle Motion]

4 hours ago, OyToTheVey said:

Jana actually has the biggest opportunity possible to a Fundy daughter. If she only knew. She's pretty and very sell-able. If she wanted to leave, she could make a killing if she told her story. She's get so much money for a few articles and she can disappear and do her own thing after.

But that would likely mean never seeing her family again, including the younger siblings who are almost like her own children. The way Cynthia Jeub described her situation it was like losing her own children after she left.  She also may fear repercussions for the younger kids who don't have the ability to leave yet and might receive blow back for her actions. 

[Jane M.]

6 hours ago, HarleyQuinn said:

From Big Sandy, with her full name on her name tag for some reason. 

Jana is a very beautiful young woman. I hope one day she gets a good husband (if that's what she really wants) that treats her well and makes her happy.

[MadeItOut]

2 hours ago, MayMay1123 said:

I wonder if she's trying, a little bit, to fly under the radar. If she's running around with Jana DUGGAR on her chest then that's definitely gonna cause attention. I know a lot of women are going by their first and middle names, no last name, on Facebook for a bit of anonymity. 

My sister is a highschool level teacher (11-18). They got advice from the Dept. of Ed. to do first and middle names on social media so as to make it harder for pupils to seek them out. Another friend who teaches elsewhere in Europe was advised to list occupation civil servant for purposes of facebook  for similar reasons.

 

It's oddly effective for relative concealment.

[xlurker]

Correct me if I'm wrong, but wasn't it Jana that said the idea of evolution was interesting (or something of that sort) years ago in a talking head?  

[seraaa]

21 hours ago, Carm_88 said:

Why does she have to be Jana Marie Duggar? How many other Jana Duggar's are there? 

*In the real world, not on instagram!*

Maybe she gave her full name when signing up or registering, and so that is what they printed on the name badge

[immodest_countenance]

5 hours ago, Unicorn said:

Jana has more younger siblings to protect than I did.  I predict she'll move on in her own way when she decides they're going to be okay in the house without her, and she'll be neither rebellious (by most standards) or disappointing.

I think this is really the main reason. Out of all them who supposedly teach this christian lifestyle, Jana really is the only who at any time as exemplified a "servant's heart". She does so much to keep that house running smoothly even watching her nieces and nephews (it seems we see just more pictures of Jana holding them in the background than their actual parents). 

I think people also forget that even though 11/19 of the duggar children are adults (by legal definitions anways), married, or have children of their own, there are still children children in that house-hold. Perhaps not babies or toddlers who need changing and help with their teeth brushed but still children who need parental support. I mean just look at Hannie(11), Jenni(9), Jordon(8), and Josie(7). For young girls under the age of twelve would still need an insane amount of work and attention to any normal family. I can't remember if I'm recalling correctly; I think it was sometime after josies birth or jubilee miscarriage, michelle something along the lines of "I have to accept that my days as a mom might be over". I mean it's no secret that she hasn't invested in the younger children's lives. What little parental support and love those younger girls did receive via the buddies are all being married off one by one.

I can completely understand Jana not wanting to leave an abandon them. Like I'm sure she feels left-out, inadequate, because she's the only older sister who hasn't found a mate; but let's be honest here it seems like every single girl just picked the first guy who was interested, halfway decent looking, and could pass daddy's test. Like I TOTALLY get, even for non-fundie  women, how much pressure you feel (even if you logically know its not right for you yet) for being a young twenty-something female in the south surrounded by all your friends and younger friends getting married.

So I think there is a lot more to Jana that she lets us know, something strong-willed but gentle. However I don't think she will ever bolt in the night, hard-core rebel, or write a tell all. Probably no matter how much she's gone through; hurting those who trust and need her won't give her any more satisfaction than just being at peace with it. 

[Snarkle Motion]

45 minutes ago, xlurker said:

Correct me if I'm wrong, but wasn't it Jana that said the idea of evolution was interesting (or something of that sort) years ago in a talking head?  

I believe you are right. And I have to find the quote about Jana being as feisty as Jessa growing up. It makes me believe that she may be good at being subversive and knows how to fake and parrot what was needed, wants nothing to do with the show but is forced into it, and stays out of duty to protect the youngest. 

[QuiverFullofBooks]

I wonder if Jana has experienced enough of life outside her family and cult to have the perspective needed to write the tell-all. My guess is that there won't be a tell-all until after the show ends, the kids are out of the house, and JB&M are elderly or dead.  There may be some tell-mosts in the meantime.

[HarleyQuinn]

1 hour ago, xlurker said:

Correct me if I'm wrong, but wasn't it Jana that said the idea of evolution was interesting (or something of that sort) years ago in a talking head?  

Yep. She said something like "some of the things they say make sense, but if you just read the bible the truth is all there."

[Mela99]

6 hours ago, MayMay1123 said:

I wonder if she's trying, a little bit, to fly under the radar. If she's running around with Jana DUGGAR on her chest then that's definitely gonna cause attention. I know a lot of women are going by their first and middle names, no last name, on Facebook for a bit of anonymity. 

If they're going to discuss Joshy-poo at Big Sandy I wouldn't want to attach myself to that name either.. Especially since BS is prime courtship breedin' grounds

[allthegoodnamesrgone]

11 hours ago, Bad Wolf said:

I'd love to read a tell all book, too. But who wants to throw their family under the bus? Especially with so many young children still there.

Exactly, I do think at some point at least 1 of them will do this but it will either be one of the younger siblings, or an older one when the younger ones are grown. 

IF Jana finds this whole cult BS and wants out, she won't leave, at least not right now. She is very close with her siblings and I do think she sees herself with a great responsibility to care for the littles, both her and John David do. IF she does leave, JD will go with her and it will be a few years down the road still. I don't see it until Josie is at least 15/16. 

[socalrules]

Eh, I must have a cold heart because I haven't seen anything to lead me to believe that Jana is staying behind because she doesn't want to leave her siblings. That's a great way to make her seem saintly, and justify her not marrying, but there is really nothing with which to back it up. How is it surprising she is still at home? She comes from a lifestyle where you only leave once married. She is doing exactly as she was raised. Maybe she hasn't found anyone she was interested in enough to marry. Maybe a courtship broke up or the guy has to finish some type of schooling. It's all speculation but I just  don't see any evidence Jana is waiting for the younger ones to grow up before she leaves or has doubts about the lifestyle so she doesn't marry. Jana is perfect to so many because she is pretty and basically keeps her mouth shut. Honestly, she has done nothing but toe the Gothard line and there is no reason she won't continue to in the future. 

[ihaveanexamintwodays]

33 minutes ago, socalrules said:

Eh, I must have a cold heart because I haven't seen anything to lead me to believe that Jana is staying behind because she doesn't want to leave her siblings. That's a great way to make her seem saintly, and justify her not marrying, but there is really nothing with which to back it up. How is it surprising she is still at home? She comes from a lifestyle where you only leave once married. She is doing exactly as she was raised. Maybe she hasn't found anyone she was interested in enough to marry. Maybe a courtship broke up or the guy has to finish some type of schooling. It's all speculation but I just  don't see any evidence Jana is waiting for the younger ones to grow up before she leaves or has doubts about the lifestyle so she doesn't marry. Jana is perfect to so many because she is pretty and basically keeps her mouth shut. Honestly, she has done nothing but toe the Gothard line and there is no reason she won't continue to in the future. 

thinking that Jana consciously chooses to stay to stick up for her younger sibs is wishful thinking, we know - they're just as steeped in the IBLP bullshit as ever. Jana wanting to stay around/not actively seeking a way out thru marriage, because she subconsciously knows how much the younger kids depend on her, and that the whole TTH would fall apart if she left before the howlers were grown and Hannie was old enough to cook and clean for anyone left.....that I could see. 

[Lurker]

No one really knows if Jana is planning to marry, leave, tell all, or go off to direct an episode of Survivor, Duggar Island.

What I find so interesting about her is that she talks about her dream spouse, a guy that works hard with his hands.  That is a big rejection of the standards JimBob set for her sisters spouses or even her own upbringing.  Derrick and Ben are wanna be preachers. Jeremy has a small plant church.  Jim Bob may or may not have a home church. 

For all JimBobs businesses, no one can say he is the picture of a hard working man, with his blow dried and sprayed hair, polo shirts and khakis.

 

[BlessingsVonFundiePants]

@Lurker which would be more heartening if the man Jana describes didn't so much resemble John David 

[Lurker]

6 minutes ago, BlessingsVonFundiePants said:

@Lurker which would be more heartening if the man Jana describes didn't so much resemble John David 

Just yuck, didn't think  about that.   The absolute creepiness of this family has no bounds.