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Bontragers and Bowers Engaged


Bazinga

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Sorry, Allison, I will call out anybody's bad driving from anywhere in the damn car. I'd rather be sinful for squelching (thank you @Palimpsest) my brothers' massive egos than get my head separated from my body through a windshield. Especially jackrabbiting through an intersection -- if you're not cautious you end up in t-bone country.

Honestly! My mom even taught me that if I was ever in a scenario where I felt a driver was being unsafe, I should demand they stop the car, so that I could get out and call her, and she would come pick me up, no questions asked. A little hard to put into practice for an older independent child who might be traveling farther and farther, or the location is dangerous, but I really appreciate how hard my mom drove that home* to me -- just that implicit reinforcement that my life was more valuable than a driver's ego made me more conscious and more responsible.

*pun unintended but I'm patting myself on the back for it anyway

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Nurturing your brothers manhood sounds like a horrible, horrible, dark web porn movie. 

     So is the dirty handed engagement picture supposed to be artsy and symbolic? 

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     And this Daddy daughter dating thing needs to stop! I thought she was a stepmom for a second.

 

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I'm surprised they would go to a hotbed of sin like Fairfield.  It's home to the Maharishi University of Management and is a big center for Transcendental Meditation.

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That blog... from Allison... If *I* had read that when I was teaching the youngest son how to drive the car, I'd probably have been laughing about "squelching his manhood" rather than hitting the dash, screaming, "SLOW THE HELL DOWN" and we'd both be dead right now. Boy got a lead foot. Boy totalled a car. (thankfully, he's ok and nobody else was in the car at the time.) But NOW? Boy don't drive any more.

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1 hour ago, Four is Enough said:

That blog... from Allison... If *I* had read that when I was teaching the youngest son how to drive the car, I'd probably have been laughing about "squelching his manhood" rather than hitting the dash, screaming, "SLOW THE HELL DOWN" and we'd both be dead right now. Boy got a lead foot. Boy totalled a car. (thankfully, he's ok and nobody else was in the car at the time.) But NOW? Boy don't drive any more.

     The first and only time I ever regretted having four children was teaching my eldest to drive. I dont think my heart can take it. They aren't even purposely reckless.

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3 hours ago, Grimalkin said:

 And this Daddy daughter dating thing needs to stop! I thought she was a stepmom for a second.

 

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I think it's inappropriate. I don't like the blurring of those boundaries in these fundie groups. It makes me think of the father of the Hale family. 

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@JermajestyDuggar it seems to be a thing. Dad taking his daughter out so they know how they are supposed to be treated on a date. I think it's nice to take kids out individually, particularly in big families but it doesn't need to be called a date. Having said that Daddy Daughter Dance is a big thing here for grade schoolers. It's usually a fun time for the kids. Typically, the girls ditch the dad and hang out and the dads are forced to mingle and get to know one another. 

      It really did take a moment for me to realize they were not married in that picture. The Dad looks young. I thought they were like Jill and David Rod.

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So if there are more mergers between these two families, will we be calling them the Bowtragers or the Boners? 

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1 hour ago, Grimalkin said:

@JermajestyDuggar it seems to be a thing. Dad taking his daughter out so they know how they are supposed to be treated on a date. I think it's nice to take kids out individually, particularly in big families but it doesn't need to be called a date. Having said that Daddy Daughter Dance is a big thing here for grade schoolers. It's usually a fun time for the kids. Typically, the girls ditch the dad and hang out and the dads are forced to mingle and get to know one another. 

      It really did take a moment for me to realize they were not married in that picture. The Dad looks young. I thought they were like Jill and David Rod.

Meh. I just don't see the big whoop of using the term "date". Just because fundies, or across the board? Whenever one of us takes a kiddo out alone we call it a date. If I'm meeting a friend I usually call it a lunch date or a coffee date. Maybe I'm too loose with my dating lol. 

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1 hour ago, JemimaPuddle-Duck said:

Meh. I just don't see the big whoop of using the term "date". Just because fundies, or across the board? Whenever one of us takes a kiddo out alone we call it a date. If I'm meeting a friend I usually call it a lunch date or a coffee date. Maybe I'm too loose with my dating lol. 

      I see both sides. Maybe fundies ruined it for me. My first thought in seeing that photo with the word date attached to it really was that they were a couple. Both my daughters and husband would be mortified. My kids go on play dates, trying to recall if I ever referred to taking my kids out as going on a date. 

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8 hours ago, JemimaPuddle-Duck said:

Meh. I just don't see the big whoop of using the term "date". Just because fundies, or across the board? Whenever one of us takes a kiddo out alone we call it a date. If I'm meeting a friend I usually call it a lunch date or a coffee date. Maybe I'm too loose with my dating lol. 

It's because they are fundies. It's because we know way too much about their fucked up beliefs. They cut themselves off from "worldly people," they keep their daughters at home until they are married, daddy is completely in charge of her dating life, purity rings are often exchanged, daddy keeps daughter pure as his responsibility, and gender roles are strictly adhered to from the start. 

Its all just so disturbing when added up. 

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9 hours ago, JemimaPuddle-Duck said:

Meh. I just don't see the big whoop of using the term "date". Just because fundies, or across the board? Whenever one of us takes a kiddo out alone we call it a date. If I'm meeting a friend I usually call it a lunch date or a coffee date. Maybe I'm too loose with my dating lol. 

It's because some (not all) Fundies take it too far.  It makes the fairly innocuous term "date," as in get to know and develop a relationship, downright squicky.

If you are going to:

  • forbid your teenage daughter to "date" boys around her age, and call a meal with Daddy a "date,"
  • make her pledge her purity to Daddy, and have him give her a ring,
  • arrange Purity Balls, to glorify her pledge of allegiance to Daddy, and
  • especially if you go to the Botkin levels of having your daughter serve Daddy intimately by taking off his shoes and shaving him,

then you are really pushing the boundaries of appropriate father and daughter relationships.   In a very bad way.

And, yes, I'm afraid I do think there are higher levels of incest and sexual abuse in the Christian Patriarchal Movement than in the general population.  Possibly because men who want to control women and abuse them are attracted to it, and because the sons are raised to think they are superior to women and get to use women as they want if they are "tempted" by them.  

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12 hours ago, Black Aliss said:

So if there are more mergers between these two families, will we be calling them the Bowtragers or the Boners? 

I can't thank you enough for this.

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On 4/22/2017 at 4:35 AM, Palimpsest said:

It's because some (not all) Fundies take it too far.  It makes the fairly innocuous term "date," as in get to know and develop a relationship, downright squicky.

If you are going to:

  • forbid your teenage daughter to "date" boys around her age, and call a meal with Daddy a "date,"
  • make her pledge her purity to Daddy, and have him give her a ring,
  • arrange Purity Balls, to glorify her pledge of allegiance to Daddy, and
  • especially if you go to the Botkin levels of having your daughter serve Daddy intimately by taking off his shoes and shaving him,

then you are really pushing the boundaries of appropriate father and daughter relationships.   In a very bad way.

And, yes, I'm afraid I do think there are higher levels of incest and sexual abuse in the Christian Patriarchal Movement than in the general population.  Possibly because men who want to control women and abuse them are attracted to it, and because the sons are raised to think they are superior to women and get to use women as they want if they are "tempted" by them.  

Oddly, I think that the purity stuff is somewhat more popular in regular evangelical Christians than fundies. I don't know any actual people who pledge their purity to Daddy, receive a purity ring, or go to purity balls. And, yes, I agree that all of those are weird. 

It's interesting too that the Botkins, as hardcore as they are, do not agree with purity rings or dads calling dinner with their daughters "dates". And as far as I know, the shaving thing was an activity at the VF Father-Daughter Retreat one year (who in the hell thought that would be a good idea, I don't know), and not something the Botkins push or do in their family. The shoe thing, yes, and while I find it.....odd, I don't necessarily think it is inappropriate. 

I suppose because I have non-Christian friends who say the date thing, and because we are so chill in our family, I just never thought it was a big deal. But I can see why it would bother y'all when considered in the context of some of the more crazy fundies' beliefs. 

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On 22.4.2017 at 4:34 AM, Black Aliss said:

So if there are more mergers between these two families, will we be calling them the Bowtragers or the Boners? 

I love you!! I laughed so hard! I was afraid I might pee myself. 

 

The Daddy daughter dates (and the way fundies promote them!) really creep me out and that selfie of Carolina and her father really made me think she was his much younger girlfriend/wife.

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I fell hard into the Bowers rabbit hole and it turns out Mr. Bowers produced a documentary about the moral downfall of America called "Agenda: Grinding America Down", which won the $101'000 prize at the 2010 San Antonio Independent Christian Film Festival (awarded by Doug Phillips himself). He said he won thanks to his kids "fasting and praying" every Friday for a year. I thought kids weren't allowed to fast? 

The doc is alt-right conspiracy theory about moral decay taking over this country in an evil communist plot, I couldn't watch more than 5 minutes but some FJers might be braver than I am. 

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56 minutes ago, usedbicycle said:

I fell hard into the Bowers rabbit hole and it turns out Mr. Bowers produced a documentary about the moral downfall of America called "Agenda: Grinding America Down", which won the $101'000 prize at the 2010 San Antonio Independent Christian Film Festival (awarded by Doug Phillips himself). He said he won thanks to his kids "fasting and praying" every Friday for a year. I thought kids weren't allowed to fast? 

The doc is alt-right conspiracy theory about moral decay taking over this country in an evil communist plot, I couldn't watch more than 5 minutes but some FJers might be braver than I am. 

These fundies are all so paranoid that I expect some of them to build a big bunker in the desert and just disappear into it and wait for the end of the world. 

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12 hours ago, usedbicycle said:

I fell hard into the Bowers rabbit hole and it turns out Mr. Bowers produced a documentary about the moral downfall of America called "Agenda: Grinding America Down", which won the $101'000 prize at the 2010 San Antonio Independent Christian Film Festival (awarded by Doug Phillips himself). He said he won thanks to his kids "fasting and praying" every Friday for a year. I thought kids weren't allowed to fast? 

The doc is alt-right conspiracy theory about moral decay taking over this country in an evil communist plot, I couldn't watch more than 5 minutes but some FJers might be braver than I am. 

Thats why I felt like I recognized them!! I am not allowing myself to fall down that rabbithole I got so much to do this semester... but I'd really love to.

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I see the Bontragers as more of a match for the Wissmans. They are similarly musically inclined larger Midwestern family and some of the younger kids a fairly close age wise.   

 

 

 

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51 minutes ago, mydoggoskeeper said:

I see the Bontragers as more of a match for the Wissmans. They are similarly musically inclined larger Midwestern family and some of the younger kids a fairly close age wise.   

It could happen. The families know each other - in fact I think they're friends. I know the Bontragers have posted about spending time with the Wissmans before (though admittedly not for a few years).

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2 hours ago, Triplet3 said:

It could happen. The families know each other - in fact I think they're friends. I know the Bontragers have posted about spending time with the Wissmans before (though admittedly not for a few years).

On the Burnett blog, they have a section that says: "blogs we like." It lists the Staddons, Bontragers, and Wissmans. I wouldn't be surprised if these families have met and are at least friends. 

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  • 1 month later...

Josh Bontrager is engaged to Cassidy Bowers and a double wedding was mentioned. 

This should be a fun wedding to snark on. When was the last double fundie wedding?

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In 12/2011, there was the double wedding between Lisë Marie and Prentiss Kendall, with Chandler Allen and Cleveland Morton.. But I'm sure it's not the last....

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2 minutes ago, Hortense Peyrac said:

In 12/2011, there was the double wedding between Lisë Marie and Prentiss Kendall, with Chandler Allen and Cleveland Morton.. But I'm sure it's not the last....

But those weren't two brothers marrying two sisters. I wonder if this is a first on FJ. 

Does anyone know the ages of the oldest Boners? There is a good looking oldest Bowers boy and the older Bontrager girls are very pretty too. There might be another cute match in there. 

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Bontragers: Chelsy is 26 y old, Mitchell is 24 y old and Allison is 23 y old

Bowers: Charlie is near 21 y old (Carolina born in april 1995 is the older...)

 

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