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JinJer: Return of the "Crotch V" (Yes, PANTS!)


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Destiny

Continued from here:

 

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"Battle Hymn of the RePANTSlic"   Mine eyes have been entrapp-ed by the crotchal of the pants; They are drawing all the male gaze for there is no way they can't; Their fit is a debate an

This bit of mental gymnastics is a great reason why people shouldn't be ordained without having studied actually studied religion. 

To this horrid speech, I would like to say how happy I am to have gotten my new shirt (proceeds went to Planned Parenthood and Cyndi Lauper's foundation.

Posted Images

Kailash

@louisa05 said: 

"I truly don't think people who have never experienced this stuff can comprehend how ridiculous it gets. "

I couldn't agree more! 

 

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nickelodeon

This is random, but have we discussed Jeremy's Christmas sermon from last year? (The one called "The Enemies of Jesus" on the youtube channel.) His evident belief that the Old Testament prophets were proto-Christians who were martyred because "the jews hated Jesus hundreds of years before he was even born" is... uh... yikes? Is that standard evangelical doctrine or just a Jeremy thing?

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allthegoodnamesrgone

1. LOVE the title. 

2. @nickelodeon I can honestly say I've never heard this but the closest I've come is fundy light bible study that touched on the Jews killing Christ to fulfill God's  prophecy or what every you want to call it.  

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HarleyQuinn
41 minutes ago, nickelodeon said:

This is random, but have we discussed Jeremy's Christmas sermon from last year? (The one called "The Enemies of Jesus" on the youtube channel.) His evident belief that the Old Testament prophets were proto-Christians who were martyred because "the jews hated Jesus hundreds of years before he was even born" is... uh... yikes? Is that standard evangelical doctrine or just a Jeremy thing?

I don't know if that's common (I hope not) because it sounds insane.

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Exposedknees
55 minutes ago, nickelodeon said:

This is random, but have we discussed Jeremy's Christmas sermon from last year? (The one called "The Enemies of Jesus" on the youtube channel.) His evident belief that the Old Testament prophets were proto-Christians who were martyred because "the jews hated Jesus hundreds of years before he was even born" is... uh... yikes? Is that standard evangelical doctrine or just a Jeremy thing?

IDK about whack-a-do Jeremy

Many Evangelicals are dispensationalists... The Jews specifically as the chosen people and with their nation of Israel are key in the "rapture" mythos in the book of Revelation. TV shows like the 700 club, and books like the Left Behind series, and Late Great Planet Earth touch on how Jellicles love the Jews. The Jews having a "nation" and the difficulties in the Middle East signify to them that the Rapture is near.

Edited by Exposedknees
grammar
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Destiny

What@exposedknees said is pretty much what my fundie / evangelical upbringing taught too.

There was some business about the "generation shall not pass before seeing the son of man returned". The generation was the ones who saw Israel become a thing again.

I've never heard the theory that Old Testament prophets were proto-Christians. They were just "men of god" who supposedly followed god the best they could.

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PennySycamore

@HarleyQuinn

6 minutes ago, HarleyQuinn said:

I don't know if that's common (I hope not) because it sounds insane.

It is insane and I do think it's uncommon.  I know I've never heard it before and I've heard some really crazy shit.

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choralcrusader8613

I've heard the proto-Christian part before, and I'm not evangelical or fundie. But the thing about being martyred for Jesus before the guy was even born? Jeremy needs to take a nap, because this sounds like Tumblr nightblogging shit.

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Carm_88
4 minutes ago, choralcrusader8613 said:

I've heard the proto-Christian part before, and I'm not evangelical or fundie. But the thing about being martyred for Jesus before the guy was even born? Jeremy needs to take a nap, because this sounds like Tumblr nightblogging shit.

I think he's just trying to sound smart and enlightened. :happy-jumpeveryone:

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Exposedknees

Maybe our lil Jeremy is confused.

NEVER have I heard the kings, prophets were pre-Christian or proto whatever...I use the term Semitic and or Hebrews when discussing the tribes of Israel - or I guess "Pre Jewish people"

I'm  hazily familiar with "proto Christianity" as a term with the early Christian church and martyrdom of some of the adherents in the 3rd century. They believed that Jesus was both god and human which was considered heretical since he was the son of god and the holy ghost was not included-hence no trinity.. Martyrdom was encouraged because all were willing to die for their faith. St Ignatius might have been one. Maybe Jeremy read the cliff notes on this "movement" and made the prophet leap. :confused2:

I teach Bible as Literature-Old Testament....( I haven't taught New Testament in Years!-it bores me, plus  the students get all uptight because-Jesus and it's a LIT class.)

 

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Exposedknees
16 minutes ago, Kittikatz said:

This bit of mental gymnastics is a great reason why people shouldn't be ordained without having studied actually studied religion. 

Fun fact - I majored in English but minored in both Religion and Biology. I am not religious but I got ordained online to marry my niece to her partner when it became  legal in NC- it cost $10. :my_smile: Probably still more qualified to preach than Mr. Vuolo.

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Destiny

Omfg lol. You win today madam.

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Georgiana
13 minutes ago, Destiny said:

Omfg lol. You win today madam.

Thank you.  I would like to thank Jill Rodrigues and her disrespectful Gettysburg photoshoot for inspiring me to re-watch Ken Burns' Civil War, which naturally has caused this song to be front and center in my mind for some time.  

I am glad to have found a use for it.  

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KelseyAnn
1 hour ago, Georgiana said:

"Battle Hymn of the RePANTSlic"

 

Mine eyes have been entrapp-ed by the crotchal of the pants;
They are drawing all the male gaze for there is no way they can't;
Their fit is a debate and Bill Goth says they are bad:
Yet pants are marching on.

Glory, glory, hallelujah!
Glory, glory, hallelujah!
Glory, glory, hallelujah!
Yet pants are marching on.

At first it was Alyssa who put on the leg-ged wear,
Then came along sweet Jinger who obeys her husband Jer;
Now all around in Waco the crotch V is lay-ed bare:
Her pants are marching on.


Glory, glory, hallelujah!
Glory, glory, hallelujah!
Glory, glory, hallelujah!
Her pants are marching on.

Free Jinger likes to speculate on what the pants could mean:
Some say it's mostly nothing, others say she's breaking free;
Who knows what the truth is, certainly it is not me,
These threads are marching on!

Glory, glory, hallelujah!
Glory, glory, hallelujah!
Glory, glory, hallelujah!
THESE THREADS. ARE. MARRRRRRCHING ONNNNNNNNN!

 

 

I did not think it possible that I could ever love a post this much, but oh my God, I love this post more than I love cheese! 

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Brilliant carm.

jinger is Jeremy's walking platform. He will mold her how he wants her. She has no choice. She is clay

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Jana814

I use to sing this song in high school each spring concert for chorus. I have always liked the song. Now I see it in a whole new light. 

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Georgiana
6 minutes ago, 2manyKidzzz said:

Sadly for me, it was the recessional for my father's funeral. Still a beautiful song. 

It's one of those songs that always fits the situation.  It can be upbeat if sung in the right situation (and generally how I think of it because I grew up singing it as a child), and yet it becomes profoundly sad and mournful when sung at a funeral or when played in the context of war.  The words themselves even can change in meaning depending on whether the context is that of victory or defeat or utter devastation.  The song somehow simply is.  Whether you are expressing hope or joy or victory or defeat or loss, it all works, because it ultimately is about things BEYOND the human capacity to express or explain and how yet still, life continues on.  

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Four is Enough

The Duggar parents, never will they ever call defeat,

They scratch their heads and blink their eyes but never do retreat,

And Jinger's walkin' round the place with pants down to her feet!

How will they spin this one!

 

Added a stanza for you.

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MoonFace

Are there any clips of Jinger saying she wears skirts because they are 'more modest'?   Or was that MEchelle?

Good gravy - I'd love to have seen Bobble Head's face when he saw his DAUGHTER wearing pants.    Why were there no news flashes that he had a heart attack?   

He couldn't even send her to the prayer closet any more!


But I do picture MEchelle's  head spinning ala EXORCIST :wtsf:

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nastyhobbitses
5 hours ago, nickelodeon said:

This is random, but have we discussed Jeremy's Christmas sermon from last year? (The one called "The Enemies of Jesus" on the youtube channel.) His evident belief that the Old Testament prophets were proto-Christians who were martyred because "the jews hated Jesus hundreds of years before he was even born" is... uh... yikes? Is that standard evangelical doctrine or just a Jeremy thing?

We already control the media and the world government, cause pandemics and plagues to occur, gain power by eating Christian babies and making them into bread, and now we can see the future and use it to find people to hate? Fuck yeah, I love basically being a crazy evil wizard!

For real, I'm so done with anti-Semitic attitudes that at this point, I just gotta reclaim all that bullshit.

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