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Fundie Fight Club? Lady Lydia on Schedules


Black Aliss

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Lady Lydia delivers the news from one of her favorite bloggers, Housewifely Haven, that schedules are bad. Lydia puts her own special cranky spin on it, but the original poster makes it clear that schedules are for women who have jobs outside the home. Take THAT, Maxwells!

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You do not need a schedule to love your housewife day,
There is no rush - it does get done, and you'll have time to play,
Many joys await you and contented moments too,
But don't expect the world to understand the things you do.
Turn off the computer, and the mobile and TV,
Take time, enjoy and potter round - and have a cup of tea!

 

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So...........basically you can fart around all day doing not much if anything, then maybe scramble to get things done when they need to be done?  

What am I missing?  I've never "pottered" around. Sheesh. 

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I really do feel sorry for Lady Lydia.  The more I see of her blog, the more it seems that something really isn't right healthwise.  That being said, I have yet to meet a housewife who doesn't keep a calendar and work like crazy.

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5 hours ago, Black Aliss said:

Lady Lydia delivers the news from one of her favorite bloggers, Housewifely Haven, that schedules are bad. Lydia puts her own special cranky spin on it, but the original poster makes it clear that schedules are for women who have jobs outside the home. Take THAT, Maxwells!

 

I haven't read LL's page (don't remember the site name & don't want to) but I agree with the Heavenly Housewifey or whatever she's called.  Schedules are unnecessary -- 

-- WITH some or all of the following conditions:

(1) You've streamlined your home as much as you feel comfortable with. Just one Example of many: you've given up futzy placemats in favor of a durable oilcloth tablecover that wipes clean, no laundry needed for that.

(2) You've dialed your expectations to the level of cleanliness that makes you comfortable. Example (one of many):  your kitchen cabinet doors are free of smears, stains, drips and actual chunks of food -- but they haven't received an annual Maxwell-quality Cleaning And Polishing in you-don't-care-how-long. 

(3) You don't homeschool, or you don't have kids, or your kids' extra-curricular schedules contain only the things they really love or at which they excel, and which results in you having more time to live at your discretion.

i speak from experience.  I'm fortunate / blessed to have been able to craft a life that has free time.  Granted, I'm retired at long last, but as we know, even "retired" "teacher" Terifying Maxwell has a schedule because ... that's how her family make part of their income.

i *had* a schedule. For *decades.*

Because I had to support my family (the ex- insisted) as well as try to raise them right. Wasn't easy. But as they aged into more and more independence, and as I found my backbone and my voice, I was able to let go others' expectations and live my days my way.

Thats all.  I'm probably missing a lot of the finer points  of the debate and I will be the first to say that moms at home all day have it equally tough as moms who work outside the home or conduct businesses from the home.

But there *are* ways to live without the blasted Maxwellian schedules, and others like them.  And it's a good life. 

I fully expect that YMMV.  

 

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15 hours ago, catlady said:

So...........basically you can fart around all day doing not much if anything, then maybe scramble to get things done when they need to be done?  

What am I missing?  I've never "pottered" around. Sheesh. 

LL is the ultimate potterer.  No wonder she wants to draw attention to that blog.

To save us from giving her hits, this is what she said:

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Today I would very much like you to notice a new poem by Housewifely Haven blog. You can find the link on my blogroll.  Yes, the home has no schedule but we all have to guard against some of the thinking ingrained into us that we have to run the home the way Clarence Day described in his book "Life With Father." It was an era where invention and efficiency were all the rage. This was made into a movie showing the family being regulated by time schedules. The poem at Housewifely Haven is more apt for the lady at home.  Slowing down does not mean slothful, and it is best achieved by heeding the advice in some of the other posts on Housewifely Haven.  Mrs. Housewifely Haven lives in Great Britain.

Efficiency and schedules are bad.  Pottering inefficiently is not slothful.

11 hours ago, GenerationCedarchip said:

I really do feel sorry for Lady Lydia.  The more I see of her blog, the more it seems that something really isn't right healthwise.  That being said, I have yet to meet a housewife who doesn't keep a calendar and work like crazy.

I might feel sorry for LL if she were not so loathsome.  Remember, she preaches poison regularly.

I don't know whether she does have bad health or not these days, but consistent idleness and an active fantasy life have been her hallmarks for ages.  Her real life and what she represents in her blog are streets apart, and always have been.

I haven't noticed much change in her over the years.

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15 hours ago, catlady said:

So...........basically you can fart around all day doing not much if anything, then maybe scramble to get things done when they need to be done?  

What am I missing?  I've never "pottered" around. Sheesh. 

      I feel like this is pretty much my day when I don't plan. Pottering is perfect for me since my hobby is collecting rare and unusual houseplants. Thank you Lady Lydia! I'm going to share that with my plant cronies. Pottering around. Also a good word for Harry Potter enthusiasts.

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I don't recall the Day family from Life With Father being so regulated by the clock or time schedules.   I do remember that they had breakfast at a certain time, but I don't think that is odd since the cook would have to have known when to cook the breakfast.  It takes time to cook a proper breakfast from scratch which the cook certainly would have done.  She didn't just pour Cheerios into bowls.

Pottering around is what we did when the Harry Potter books were released.  We'd go to Barnes and Noble for the midnight release party and then spend all night reading the newest book.

 

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I do believe LL has confused Life with Father and Cheaper by the Dozen. Both feature bombastic fathers and mothers who had to manipulate to have any say, but only the dad in Cheaper by the Dozen held the stopwatch. Which means she overlooked 8 or 9 kids. And both were made into rather mediocre movies in the 50s (Life with Father is better, IMHO). 

Furthermore, I didn't get the impression that anyone who read Cheaper by the Dozen thought that was the proper way to run a household. It's intended to be humorous.

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LL also complains (well, that's her life, actually, judging and complaining) that it's impossible these days to buy dresses with sleeves. Moreover, wearing a jacket or sweater over a sleeveless dress won't work either because it's too hot.

As for schedules, when the kids were growing up of course we had a schedule! They needed to be in school at a certain time, at sports activities or music lessons at a certain time, which in turn dictated meals being served at a certain other time or low blood sugar would create unpleasantness. Mr. Aliss and I needed to show up for work at some point and get done the work we were paid to do (Thank Bast for Flex-time!). Dishes got done on schedule, after meals. The dog and cats were fed on schedule. The litter box was scooped ASAP after it needs it. I don't recall using a spreadsheet, or MOTH, but anything that didn't occur on such a regular basis as to be unforgettable (dog grooming, dental appointments, concerts) was noted on a big paper wall calendar.

However, spills were, and still are, wiped up as they occur. Laundry (everyone's job) got done when the machine wasn't already running, not at a specific hour on a specific day. Mending, mowing, other chores got worked in where ever possible, and f*n generally took precedence over chores that could wait.

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Iambic heptameter makes everything sound silly.

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5 hours ago, Leftitinmysnood said:

Furthermore, I didn't get the impression that anyone who read Cheaper by the Dozen thought that was the proper way to run a household. It's intended to be humorous.

It was definitely intended to be humorous and it took a lot of liberties with reality.

Lillian Moller Gilbreth kicked the most butt after her husband died.  We owe our efficient modern kitchens and the "work triangle" to her.  She's actually one of my heroes.  ttps://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lillian_Moller_Gilbreth

And I agree.  I think LL did confuse  Life with Father and Cheaper by the Dozen. 

6 hours ago, Grimalkin said:

Pottering is perfect for me since my hobby is collecting rare and unusual houseplants.

Tell me more!  What do you grow? I used to have a lot of unusual houseplants but when I moved into my present house they all died.  I don't have the right growing conditions any more. :(

 

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7 hours ago, Palimpsest said:

I don't know whether she does have bad health or not these days, but consistent idleness and an active fantasy life have been her hallmarks for ages.  Her real life and what she represents in her blog are streets apart, and always have been.

I haven't noticed much change in her over the years.

I used to think she was perhaps suffering from some sort of depression, but after years of reading her blog I think she is probably lazy, self-absorbed and concocting a fantasy internet life to make herself feel superior. 

@Lydia is a member here. I suspect that in real life she isn't a very nice person to be around. Remember when she actually had women come for tea, she took a picture to copy because she was going through a drawing phase and she drew sleeves on one woman's dress? How completely rude and that isn't something that someone with good manners would do. Lydia was only thinking of herself, not the comfort of her friends. 

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41 minutes ago, Bad Wolf said:

Was Cheaper by the Dozen the one with the baby in a cage?

I think you might be thinking of Please Don't Eat the Daisies with Doris Day and David Niven.  They had four boys and an Old English Sheepdog, he was a theatre critic, she was a SAHM, and they bought an old Victorian house in the country.  The boys were always dropping water bombs on people out on the street in NYC.  

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4 hours ago, PennySycamore said:

I think you might be thinking of Please Don't Eat the Daisies with Doris Day and David Niven.  They had four boys and an Old English Sheepdog, he was a theatre critic, she was a SAHM, and they bought an old Victorian house in the country.  The boys were always dropping water bombs on people out on the street in NYC.  

Thanks. I remember, now.

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@Palimpsest my favorite would be epiphytic cactus also called Jungle Cactus. Then Hoyas. I have a little of everything though. I have been lucky to be able to trade cuttings with some very generous people from different plant groups.

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     I just took a couple of pictures. You can grow many Hoyas in North facing windows, they have really nice foliage and bloom too. Most plants need South, West, or East. I bet you can fit a few fun plants wherever you are. I take most of mine out for the Summer once the tpratures are consistently above 55.

    Did you have a favorite type of plant?

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@Grimalkin, that's fantastic!  I love the setup around the kitchen sink.  You definitely specialize in succulents and Hoya.  I'll have to look into the Jungle cactus more. and Hoya.  It looks as though there are a lot of different varieties.  

For some reason this house likes Christmas cactus.  I keep them blooming by rotating them in and out of the windows that get the most sun and have a few different varieties.  I still have low light plants but they aren't very interesting.  Mostly Spathyphillum, kept well away from pooches, and Pothos. 

I used to have a lot of different hibiscus, jasmine, and bougainvillea. Also a Meyer lemon and an enormous night blooming Cereus.  That was ugly as sin most of the year but when it bloomed it was worth it.  They all moved with me but we don't have enough light here (we are surrounded by trees) and grow lights weren't enough.  It's like losing friends when huge plants you've had for 10+ years bite the dust.

Most of my more exotic tropical plants originally came from Logees.  http://www.logees.com  I was just browsing through their catalog and told Mr. P that we should plan a day out to visit their greenhouses.  You may have inspired me to try Hoya. :)

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      Sounds like a nice collection of bloomers!  I would be upset to lose plants I've had for years too. The nice thing about Christmas Cactus is they don't take up too much space. If you go to the houseplant section of Walmart they sometimes have really nice Hoyas. They are grown by Exotic Angel plants. Lowes carries them too. EA has made interesting plants available for great prices. 

       

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13 hours ago, Grimalkin said:

      Sounds like a nice collection of bloomers!  I would be upset to lose plants I've had for years too. The nice thing about Christmas Cactus is they don't take up too much space. If you go to the houseplant section of Walmart they sometimes have really nice Hoyas. They are grown by Exotic Angel plants. Lowes carries them too. EA has made interesting plants available for great prices. 

       

@Grimalkin how do you reconcile plants and cats, in particular a spazzy kitten? I'm a newbie to house plants - moved to a house with enough light less than a year ago. I have an African violet (east facing window but a bright spot) and it's not thriving, an anthurium at the same spot that is not doing well either, and an aloe near a south facing window that is growing quite nicely. I was given an Asian lily and had to get rid of it as apparently it's toxic to curious little kitties?

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Fundies are so convinced that there's a Single Right Way to do everything - even things that have nothing to do with their religious beliefs - but that's not reality. Some homemakers do best with a rigid schedule, some do best flying by the seat of their pants, and most fall somewhere in between the two extremes. And you know... all of it is fine. People have different personalities and work styles. 

There isn't just one right answer - though it seems a lot of fundies are determined that there is, and it just so happens to be exactly whatever they prefer. :pb_rollseyes:

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12 hours ago, Mercer said:

Fundies are so convinced that there's a Single Right Way to do everything - even things that have nothing to do with their religious beliefs - but that's not reality.

That is the very essence of fundamentalism--one right way and everyone else is wrong. Which is there are also vegan fundamentalists, paleo fundamentalists, bicycling fundamentalists, yoga fundamentalists, coding fundamentalists. You name it, there is probably at least one adherent who is fundie about it.

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So true. I was on a crunchy granola parenting board at some point before I knew better, and the debates on whether you're allowed to use a stroller if you need to lug a 25 lb baby with a herniated disc rivalled the great "did Jesus have a wallet" debate.

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