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Joe and Kendra: Looking Forward to Side Hugs


choralcrusader8613

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6 hours ago, nst said:

41) will you show the stick that you just peed on ? 

42) will you denounce your own family 

43) will you accept Jeremy as your savior 

44) Will you sprint down the aisle to the Arkansas Razorbacks theme song? 

45) Will you agree to have Ms. Renee peg someone else's design as her own for ratings design your wedding dress?

46) Will you kiss with a mouth full of beans at the dinner table? 

47) Will you feed your first son tomato sauce straight from a sharp-edged can? 

48) Will you make self-righteous and at times, down right offensive, comments on your Twitter at least once a month? 

49) Will you and Joe convenant together in holy matrimony? (making your marriage more holy than those of worldly heathens) 

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7 hours ago, Jinder Roles said:

44) Will you sprint down the aisle to the Arkansas Razorbacks theme song? 

45) Will you agree to have Ms. Renee peg someone else's design as her own for ratings design your wedding dress?

46) Will you kiss with a mouth full of beans at the dinner table? 

47) Will you feed your first son tomato sauce straight from a sharp-edged can? 

48) Will you make self-righteous and at times, down right offensive, comments on your Twitter at least once a month? 

49) Will you and Joe convenant together in holy matrimony? (making your marriage more holy than those of worldly heathens) 

50) Will you allow Michelle to show you positions through a book she created about anything 

51) Will you allow Jessa to show you how she handles her 1.9 million followers

52) Will you allow Ben to talk to Joe about sex

 

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53) Will you let MIchelle into the birthing room to glare at your lady parts while you birth your young'ns? 

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54. Will you have a home-birth and have you baby delivered by a CPM even though it may be dangerous?

Edited by Angelic83
I can't count ;)
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10 hours ago, allthegoodnamesrgone said:

I thought Boob was the savior? 

Rufus is the one and only savior, you heathens.

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10 minutes ago, Angelic83 said:

54. Will you have a home-birth and have you baby delivered by a CPM even though it may be dangerous?

55. Will you agree with Derick that there is no such thing as Santa Claus? 

56. Will you tell your father to let Ben and Derick ask him silly questions? 

57. Will you agree to let Jana/Jessa design your house? 

58. Will you become besties with Sierra? 

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2 hours ago, nst said:

59) Will you name your first born son or daughter Jim Bob ?

Jimmi Bobbette?  Or Jimmi Bobbi? Like Ricki Bobbi only fundier. 

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60. Do promise to exclusively home school and only use materials that will not allow your child to be better educated than yourself and all of the Duggars offspring?

 

 

61. Do you promise to forbid your children to have any sort of post school of the dining room table education, including Crown College or even college online? Everyone knows that Jesus didn't go to college, so we don't need it either.

62. Do you promise to make an annual pilgrimage to the Ark Encounter and the Creation museum, to remind your children that science doesn't exist and the Earth is only 6000 years old?

63. Do promise to attend the Big Sandy conference each year, to ensure your children only associate with like-minded people?

 

64. If you are fortunate enough to with visit a foreign country or do a mission trip in one, do you promise not to learn their language and to condescendingly only teach the locals what they already know? Do you promise to be rude when introduced to the local food and local customs?

65. Do you promise your children will only swim in wholesome wear?

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Serious question:  does a potential candidate have to answer yes to all of the questions or is it on a percentage basis? 90% and above, good candidate. 80% pretty good, a little more indoctrination needed. 70% this one only for a Duggar boy with no hope of courtship. Below 70% run for the hills Duggar boys, this one will not cross our threshold.

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I think when we finish the list (will it be ever?) we should mark certain questions that have to be answered with yes and for the rest can go with the percentages that @Bad Wolf proposes :)

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1 hour ago, Bad Wolf said:

Serious question:  does a potential candidate have to answer yes to all of the questions or is it on a percentage basis? 90% and above, good candidate. 80% pretty good, a little more indoctrination needed. 70% this one only for a Duggar boy with no hope of courtship. Below 70% run for the hills Duggar boys, this one will not cross our threshold.

I suspect that it all depends on Jimbo's mood at the time; as well as on how badly he needs to marry off that particular kid. 

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1 minute ago, HarleyQuinn said:

If you score too low do you have to retake the whole thing? 

Maybe you can get some private lessons from Jim Boob and Michelle how a duggar wife should behave ;) and then retake the test

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Kendra might get extra points due to her father's "ministry" of handing out fliers targeting the gays.  I can see JB getting very excited about that. 

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45 minutes ago, HarleyQuinn said:

If you score too low do you have to retake the whole thing? 

I think then you would have to go in the prayer closet with the sound guy and he would give you the right answers

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4 hours ago, HarleyQuinn said:

If you score too low do you have to retake the whole thing? 

You have to drink more koolaid and eat more tater to casserole.

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I wish more than anything we could see this questionaire. For both sons and daughters  (do girls have to fill them out for duggar boys?) It wouldbe beautiful.

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66. Are your family godly? Do you have any skeletons in the closet which may affect the duggar reputation (we already have one Josh, we don't want another). Are there any relatives who may exposed to our grandchildren who sin e.g. Females who are educated with professional careers, lgbt people or worst of all people who voted Democrat in an election.

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67) Will you promise to only travel with us and never alone the two of you 

68) Will you promise to shop with your head down 

69) Will you re watch every single episode twice and never scream when Jim Bob says Hey Hey  Hey 

70) Will you never say Anna is a tool 

71) will you allow Ben to read to you and interview you for his you tube channel 

72) Will you let Spud poo on you 

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14 hours ago, Angelic83 said:

54. Will you have a home-birth and have you baby delivered by a CPM even though it may be dangerous?

If that. The woman who delivered Anna's first two babies wasn't even a CPM, just a doula.

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73) Do you agree to babysit our gazillion children and our children's gazillion children whenever required?

74) Will you stare lovingly and devotedly at _______ every time he speaks? 

75) Are you willing to wear an abolish abortion shirt whenever prompted? 

76) Will you be joyfully available to _______ all the time he may ask, after you are married? 

 

 

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77)  Solve for x:  2(3x - 7) + 4 (3 x + 2) = 6 (5 x + 9 ) + 3

(just to filter out the educated candidates...) 

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On 3/29/2017 at 11:51 AM, allthegoodnamesrgone said:

Jimmi Bobbette?  Or Jimmi Bobbi? Like Ricki Bobbi only fundier. 

Jymmi Bobbi

you have to put the unnecessary "y" in there to make it both hip and fundie (my phone autocorrected that to fun die)

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