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Destiny

Previously, we talked ad-fucking-nauseum about shorts, and it made me roll my eyes a lot. Then we argued about why basic internet safety precautions were a good idea. 

Continued from here: 

 

2 minutes ago, amendgitan said:

True. Which is why I try to keep my identity as private as possible but it hasn't always worked. It certainly doesn't when it comes to Facebook comments on news sites, for example, where they can get my first and last name which are rather unique. Regardless,  I just don't think she needs a lecture on how stupid she is for PM'ing her info to one person on this site. I'm sure she understands the risks. 

Having been a victim of doxxing because I trusted the wrong person, and having had to explain to the OWNER of my company and my father why someone was calling and calling me names, guess what? When I see someone doing something dumb, I'm gonna tell them it's a bad idea. 

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VineHeart137

I also don't see where the poster was lectured. She posted that she had sent personal info to someone. Another person made a short comment that it was a bad idea. Someone else agreed. Then the thread moved on. Until amendgitan brought it up again a couple pages later.

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Carm_88

It is a bad idea to trust people, you don't know, with your identity. It's also a bad idea to bring up shorts/pants means that *insert fundie female here* is free; people still do it.

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Bad Wolf

Maybe she took it from the communal closet. It might be her favorite.

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Snarkle Motion

So to the people arguing that the females in the Duggar relationships are dominant, I think there is something to be said about this. I have a theory that what we are seeing is woman claiming a certain amount of power in areas of the relationship they are allowed.

Men are headship and have final say on decisions (see Spurgeon's name). Since it's not an equal partnership, women must exert their power in other more subtle ways. I think this is why women are accused of being devious, manipulative, naggers, emotional, even harlots. If they had equal power woman would not have to utilize these methods but these are the methods they have available and then they are shamed for them. Erin will find a way to convince Chad to stay near her family and keep the room pink. Jessa will not be pleasant to be around and refuse to give in until she gets her way. Even Michael knew she wanted Brandon and only Brandon and she made sure she got him. Alyssa has no nonsense attitude about her house and strikes me as actually taking the lead on a lot of decisions. Whitney knows how to work zack, when they went shopping for baby clothes she was pretty dismissive of a his suggestions and appears that way for most house/baby related things.

I'm guessing Jill pleaded multiple times not to return to Central America but she's the least likely to own her power without guilt rather than following her headship.  I'm not so sure about Jinger, there is a spark there where she winked at Jeremy that reminded me she knows what she wants and how to get it. She seemed to really come alive again  during this relationship which gives me hope that she'll find her strength. 

Men have the ability to demand sex and make all final decisions for women. But they don't want to make every decision about their household and this is where women can start to find ways to regain power back. It may even look disproportionate at times because a typical modern relationship should allow two equals to present rational arguments to a decision rather than feel that manipulation, trickery, social influence/pressure, nagging, or even trading sex comes into the equation.  Okay, end of my long random stream of thought 

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Lyle Lanley
13 minutes ago, Bad Wolf said:

Maybe she took it from the communal closet. It might be her favorite.

Hey. She has to leave some things behind for the Howlerettes. I'm imagining Josie is going to be lighting that thing on fire one day and saying it was an Act of God. Alongside all the jean skirts.

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Snarkle Motion
1 minute ago, Lyle Lanley said:

Hey. She has to leave some things behind for the Howlerettes. I'm imagining Josie is going to be lighting that thing on fire one day and saying it was an Act of God. Alongside all the jean skirts.

Or she could just call the youngest bates boys over. :my_biggrin:

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amendgitan
43 minutes ago, VineHeart137 said:

I also don't see where the poster was lectured. She posted that she had sent personal info to someone. Another person made a short comment that it was a bad idea. Someone else agreed. Then the thread moved on. Until amendgitan brought it up again a couple pages later.

You know, not everyone can be on here all the time and respond to a post immediately. In any event, the thread didn't "move on" that quickly. My response was only one page over from the last comment regarding her pm'ing. Interestingly, in the last thread. 

16 minutes ago, Snarkle Motion said:

So to the people arguing that the females in the Duggar relationships are dominant, I think there is something to be said about this. I have a theory that what we are seeing is woman claiming a certain amount of power in areas of the relationship they are allowed.

Men are headship and have final say on decisions (see Spurgeon's name). Since it's not an equal partnership, women must exert their power in other more subtle ways. I think this is why women are accused of being devious, manipulative, naggers, emotional, even harlots. If they had equal power woman would not have to utilize these methods but these are the methods they have available and then they are shamed for them. Erin will find a way to convince Chad to stay near her family and keep the room pink. Jessa will not be pleasant to be around and refuse to give in until she gets her way. Even Michael knew she wanted Brandon and only Brandon and she made sure she got him. Alyssa has no nonsense attitude about her house and strikes me as actually taking the lead on a lot of decisions. Whitney knows how to work zack, when they went shopping for baby clothes she was pretty dismissive of a his suggestions and appears that way for most house/baby related things.

I'm guessing Jill pleaded multiple times not to return to Central America but she's the least likely to own her power without guilt rather than following her headship.  I'm not so sure about Jinger, there is a spark there where she winked at Jeremy that reminded me she knows what she wants and how to get it. She seemed to really come alive again  during this relationship which gives me hope that she'll find her strength. 

Men have the ability to demand sex and make all final decisions for women. But they don't want to make every decision about their household and this is where women can start to find ways to regain power back. It may even look disproportionate at times because a typical modern relationship should allow two equals to present rational arguments to a decision rather than feel that manipulation, trickery, social influence/pressure, nagging, or even trading sex comes into the equation.  Okay, end of my long random stream of thought 

I see what you mean. They grab agency where they can, in small ways. It's pitiful to me but it may feel like power to them. 

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HarleyQuinn
37 minutes ago, Lyle Lanley said:

Why does everyone care about the shorts? We should be happy Jinger is finally free from ever having to wear the Duggar mustard cardigan ever again.

You know, I have a mustard cartigan that I like...this forum ruined it for me 

Lol

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VineHeart137
4 minutes ago, amendgitan said:

You know, not everyone can be on here all the time and respond to a post immediately. In any event, the thread didn't "move on" that quickly. My response was only one page over from the last comment regarding her pm'ing. Interestingly, in the last thread. 

Huh? My point wasn't that you didn't respond fast enough. My point was that there was no lecture. There were two short comments and that was it unless I missed something. It didn't start getting discussed at length until you brought the conversation back there.

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grandmadugger

Someone in the previous thread the shorts were magical pants.  I would like to point out the pants are not magical.  This is all a result of Rufus and his power.  

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patsymae

"I see what you mean. They grab agency where they can, in small ways. It's pitiful to me but it may feel like power to them."

 

Watch some old episodes of I Love Lucie (or probably any other 50s sitcom): deception and manipulation are the way to go 

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actuallyjessica

i love the mustard cardigan. i would wear the shit out of it, and be sure to post pictures on FJ of myself doing so. ;)

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eveandadam

As far as I can remember I have never said anything snarky about Jinger on this forum, which is going to change now, I'm sorry. I'm probably going to get a little backlash here for saying that but the behavior of Jinger during the honeymoon episode was getting on my nerves. It's a behavior I observe in many young women mostly in their early 20's. They pout artificially because they think it's cute and are being bitchy, but not because they mean it, no, also artificially because they think it's cute.

I'm sorry, but adults should only be bitchy if they f****ing mean it and then they should own it and, please, leave the pouting to small children.

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Iamtheway

I often ask Mr Ways opinion on things I try on and I listen to what he says most of the time since he's actually often right (don't tell him I said that).

But if he actually told me what I could or couldn't wear?

Well I'll tell you this, I would not keep sweet. 

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singsingsing

I really like the mustard cardigan. I usually avoid yellow because of my skin tone, but I would make an exception. I think it's really cute and flattering. And I'm all about cardigans. 

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JillyO
3 hours ago, eveandadam said:

As far as I can remember I have never said anything snarky about Jinger on this forum, which is going to change now, I'm sorry. I'm probably going to get a little backlash here for saying that but the behavior of Jinger during the honeymoon episode was getting on my nerves. It's a behavior I observe in many young women mostly in their early 20's. They pout artificially because they think it's cute and are being bitchy, but not because they mean it, no, also artificially because they think it's cute.

I'm sorry, but adults should only be bitchy if they f****ing mean it and then they should own it and, please, leave the pouting to small children.

I don't know why you think you'd get backlash for saying something snarky about Jinger since that's pretty much what we do here (apart from the truly important thing: exposing the dangers of fundamentalism).

However, could you explain in what situations you thought Jinger was being bitchy and pouting during the honeymoon episode? This is the only episode of Counting On I've actually watched and I didn't notice any bitchiness or pouting going on, so I'm curious to see which scenes you're talking about.

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VelociRapture
1 hour ago, Iamtheway said:

I often ask Mr Ways opinion on things I try on and I listen to what he says most of the time since he's actually often right (don't tell him I said that).

But if he actually told me what I could or couldn't wear?

Well I'll tell you this, I would not keep sweet. 

Same here. For instance, my wedding dress. I didn't care much about whether it was a "traditional" looking or not - but it was important for my husband. He had been looking forward to seeing me in a long, white dress for a while. It meant a lot more to him than it did to me, so I purchased a long, white gown that I looked good in and that I really loved wearing. I still refused to wear a veil or wear the train down - husband didn't notice and didn't care because he was so excited.

It worked out because he made it clear it was completely my decision and he was ok with whatever I wound up wearing. If he had demanded it, we wouldn't be married now. It was one of those times that he was right about my fashion choice for our situation (like Mr. Way, he's right more than I care to admit. Mr. Raptor has good taste. Lol!)

5 hours ago, actuallyjessica said:

i love the mustard cardigan. i would wear the shit out of it, and be sure to post pictures on FJ of myself doing so. ;)

I own a mustard cardigan. I love it, but the washing machine doesn't - it has a hole in the armpit now. I think the washing machine is secretly a mustard cardigan hating poster here. :pb_lol:

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eveandadam
29 minutes ago, JillyO said:

I don't know why you think you'd get backlash for saying something snarky about Jinger since that's pretty much what we do here (apart from the truly important thing: exposing the dangers of fundamentalism).

However, could you explain in what situations you thought Jinger was being bitchy and pouting during the honeymoon episode? This is the only episode of Counting On I've actually watched and I didn't notice any bitchiness or pouting going on, so I'm curious to see which scenes you're talking about.

The pouting happened during their car-ride to the chef. She said something about the cars come from the left side are scaring her, or something and then she pouted.

the being bitchy was actually only "bitchy". when the chef told them so stop kissing each other she said in the talking head "it's not like we just got married or anything" in a sarcastic tone.

In general, I got the impression that she was acting more childish and helpless on purpose, why?

Edited by eveandadam

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VineHeart137

Funny how people see things differently! To me, Jinger seemed like the cars driving on the opposite side of the road than she was used to was genuinely freaking her out. And the sarcasm about the chef, she did seem a little annoyed, but I think it was genuine annoyance, not just pouting for show. After all, they WERE newlyweds (ones who had never kissed at all until a couple days prior). I thought her comment was kind of funny.

For the most part the impression that JinJer gave me during that episode was of "horny teenagers".

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JermajestyDuggar
11 hours ago, Lyle Lanley said:

Why does everyone care about the shorts? We should be happy Jinger is finally free from ever having to wear the Duggar mustard cardigan ever again.

*shudder*

Y'all realize there was not only one, but TWO mustard color sweaters in the TTH, right? I swear mustard color sweaters breed like Boob and Michelle in that house. I remember seeing a picture with two girls wearing the sweater. 

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singsingsing

I actually don't blame Jinger for being snarky about the chef. Or for giving her the stank eye. Maybe it was all contrived for the show, but I thought the chef was really rude. Maybe there was some creative editing going on, but Jinger and Jeremy didn't seem all that over the top to me. I get politely asking them to focus on the cooking, but there was no need to be a dick about it or talk to them like they were misbehaving 5-year-olds.

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Pukingpearl

Sign me up on the mustard train! I love mustard and cardigans. I have a weird complexion that it works with, though. I'm mostly excited she hasn't been spotted in a single pair of flip flops post marriage. Hooray for sneakers!

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