Post-Rapture Introductions

[Alecto]

I suppose it is only fitting I post an intro...

I'm Alecto, and I'm the site owner/chief cook and bottle washer. I've been involved with Free Jinger since it spun off TWoP. For the record, I am the third owner of Free Jinger, the first two went MIA. I was a bit hesitant that perhaps the Fundie Mafia might try to take me out, but I am successfully living in the Controversial Moderator Protection Program, so I am safe for now.

I am in my early thirties and divorced with no kids. I am currently in grad school, working on my masters degree in Geology. I have no pets, and I am a Harry Potter nerd. In my free time (lol, what free time?) I like to knit, write, watch bad reality TV, and take pictures. I am also disabled and legally blind.

I was raised Southern Baptist and born into a family that a few generations ago converted from Judaism to Christianity. I consider myself a religious wanderer, though I have a lot of respect for liberal Christians, and my beliefs probably, at the moment, fall somewhere between that at Pagan. I usually just call myself a Quaker, since I love Meeting for Worship.

[defrauding]

I'm new here, but I've been lurking for a bit. I watched the original Duggar TV special when they had 14 kids and have recently found myself glued to what seems like a living, breathing train wreck that is their lives on film. After a while, I began to wonder why I was so drawn to the show as I find it absolutely disgusting and the more I read about their religious beliefs in general, the more I felt angry that the kids would be subjected to such bs. That's when I really began to think about my own childhood and the effects it had on the person I am today.

My family was not Quiverful, but they were Southern Baptist. While we were allowed to wear pants and shorts outside of church, I see a lot of the same "black and white" belief patterns within my own family of origin. Because I was born female and lived in a patriarchal home, life was filled with "girl" chores, double standards, and me basically being disrespected and taught that I was not nearly as worthy as my male siblings. What's worse is that not only am I gay, but I am also transgender... probably the worst possible combination for a family like mine. As an adult, I have struggled with extremely poor self-esteem, problems having healthy relationships, constantly seeking validation (as if I got stuck in childhood), and A LOT of anger toward the church and pretty much all Christians even though logically I know that's unfair.

So... for those of you who also grew up in fundie homes, maybe you'd like to share what your experience was like and what you've had to overcome in adulthood. I feel immensely lucky to have had the courage to rebel and I really hope that the Duggar kids (the girls especially) and all other kids of fundie parents will find the same courage.

Hi Carter, welcome and try not to shit on the rug

I can only imagine how difficult it must have been growing up in a SB family as gay and transgendered. How do your family treat you now as an adult?

Hi Carter, welcome to FJ!

Hi Sola and Eastern!

My family doesn't accept me. A year or so ago, I got tired of trying to please them. A few years before that, I got tired of living 2 different lives... the one my family knew about and the one they didn't know about (I lived 1000 miles away for nearly a decade before moving back to my birth state in 2007). My partner and I will be moving about 600 miles away at the end of June and I couldn't be happier. As much as I'd love to have a family who loves me for who I am, that just isn't reality. It's sad and I can't for the life of me understand how and why someone would reject his or her own family members over a difference like this.

Hello and welcome!

Welcome, Carter!

Hi Carter and welcome, mind your step and excuse our mess.

Hi Carter welcome, you are very courageous and I applaud you for it.

Carter, welcome.

Wishing you courage and the support of those you gather around you.

Welcome Carter, it seems that life has dealt you a tough hand in life and you have the courage to rise above it.

Greetings Carter. It sounds like you are F2M. And ignore this if this is a rude question, but are you a gay man?

Welcome, Carter! What a difficult path it must have been for you - please add my applause to the welcome committee!

welcome! and i'm just so sorry about your family.

my children are still very young, but i honestly cannot imagine any single thing in the whole wide world that they could do that would make me cut them off. not having one of my girls in my life would be a fate worse than death for me.

i think every child deserves that from their parents, and i'm just so sorry your parents are missing out on you.

Welcome Carter! Congrats on the move - Remember: lift with your legs, not your back. And, try not to get discouraged about your past - "Family" is a fluid concept and the perfect family is one you create for yourself!

I'm sorry to hear about your family, but from my own experience I can say that sometimes it's just the only option. Luckily I still have a strong relationship with my mother, but I am estranged from my abusive father. It's hard, and I think it always will be, but it would be even worse to have him around. I feel your pain but I want to reassure you that you did the right thing. Don't ever feel like it's your fault, or doubt your choice, or think that you could change your parents if you tried hard enough.

Welcome! I'm sorry about how your family treated you but I congratulate you for having the courage to leave.

Hi, carter! Another former Southern Baptist here, and I can relate to a lot of what you've said. I'm cisgender, bi, and not out to my family. (I will lose the ability to talk to my younger, still at home siblings if I come out.) My brother was definitely treated differently than my sisters and me, allowed more freedom and things of that nature. My home life was a weird stew of physical punishment, neglect in some areas, and over-protectiveness in others.

Do you feel that your parents are both fairly neurotypical? My mother has a mental illness that contributed to how screwed up our family was. I have a theory that certain types of mental illness tend to draw people to fundamentalism, and then you end up with a situation where one feeds off of the other and it's a huge mess.

The fallout I'm still dealing with at almost thirty is lingering anxiety, depression, feeling guilt over same-sex attraction, (funny how the guilt sticks around!) and fears about my ability to be a good mother. I have put off having children until I've sorted a lot of my stuff out, but I'm finally getting to the point that I think I might be ready to have kids and do a good job with them.

I'm so happy for you that you were able to leave the Southern Baptist fundies behind you and make a life for yourself. Welcome to the forum and if you don't have anything nice to say about fundies, come sit by me.

A big hello and welcome to Carter! It sucks that your parents decided to do that I can't imagine doing such a thing to my own child. FWIW, I grew up fundie/fundie lite. Lissar pretty much listed a lot of issues i had growing up (the weird stew of physical punishment, neglect, and over protectiveness) and the fallout as a result (anxiety, depression, feeling guilt- but not over the same sex attraction- for me it's just sex as a whole lol, and being a good mother). Didn't want to say the same thing and end up being repetitive

I think I wrote this before about myself somewhere else but eh, it's related to the topic anyway- I considered suicide at 11, and started self cutting at 13. My upbringing had a WHOLE LOT to contribute to those issues, but I don't think it was the actual cause, or at least the sole cause. I didn't quit self-cutting until I was 19, closer to 20, when I recieved some counseling and got on meds for anxiety issues. I think what really got me out of my situation was physically moving out of my parents house and living on my own, in the "real world".

Now I have a healthier life, but the scars still remain: physical, mental, emotional and spiritual. Lissar mentioned mental illnesses, and I have a feeling that that issue comes in play frequently but I doubt in ALL situations. I was recently diagnosed with adult ADHD (I don't consider it a mental illness, but it fits in the issue of mental health) and I suspect a lot of members in my family have it, and possibly depression on top of it, judging from what I have heard from others in the family. Mental illnesses/disorders can be genetic in some cases I believe, and contribute a lot to a variety of situations be it postive or negative.

ANyway, pardon the novella- didn't plan for it to be this long, LOL- anyway, I'm actually glad I went through what I did, even if it was hell, because it taught me a lot about myself. Without that knowledge and experience, I doubt I would be the person I am today, and I rather like who I am now, even if some issues still linger.

Hi all... thanks for the warm welcome! I'm liking this place more every day!

Dup...Yes, I'm a gay man.

Lissar... yes, this! "My home life was a weird stew of physical punishment, neglect in some areas, and over-protectiveness in others."... Mine too! And yes, there is quite a bit of mental illness in my family (though I do wonder what came first as it is throughout generations)... everything from schizophrenia (an uncle) to depression and anxiety (both parents) to alcoholism and drug abuse (most of my family). And though my brothers did not face the same crap I faced as a female, they both have problems. That leads me to believe that this type of home isn't really healthy for girls OR boys. The anxiety and depression and the aftermath of childhood abuse is definitely hard to shake even as an adult. I hope you are able to gain enough confidence to have kids whenever you are ready... I am pretty sure that your level of awareness will help you to not make some of the same mistakes! It's nice to meet you!

Antigone... isn't it weird (scary even lol) that we have such similar experiences? I, too, struggled with self-injury. Mine started when I was about 5 and really wasn't under control until about a year or two ago (so I would have been around 32ish). I also struggled with an eating disorder, debilitating anxiety and depression, and difficulties with codependency. Most recently, I developed an addiction to pain pills that were prescribed for chronic back pain. I was taught early on that I was not to express certain feelings and so I learned to use all of these unhealthy coping mechanisms to deal with normal, healthy feelings... insane! I do think it is a blessing that we tend to be more self-aware and have greater insight because of what we have experienced.

Thanks to everyone who has shared so far! It is good to know that I'm not alone, though I would never wish this kind of experience on anyone. I'd love to hear more about your experiences as kids in fundie or fundie-lite homes!

I grew up in the baptist church. I went to public school and was allowed to pants and shorts outside of church. The church we went to was no dancing, no cards and no movies. The only was that I couldn't take dance classes or go to school dances until I was 16. Also no drinking.

The girls were not allowed to do as much as the boys were. I think it had more do with stuff that my parents saw growing up than the church. I was told I HAD to go to college but had to stay at home to do it. The boogie man was always just around the corner, in my parents case it really was.

I was very scared of God growing up and still am. Hellfire and brimstone. I have tattoos, piercings, and swear like a sailor, but I'm still the apple of my Dad eye. I consider myself very lucky compared others.

[Guest Anonymous]

I'm anniec, female, 30-something, living in the UK. I was 'born again' as a Christian in my teens and was a baptised full member of a small evangelical church until my mid-20s. I belonged to School and University Christian Unions, led small groups and youth groups. I now identify as an atheist.

I found FJ through NoLongerQuivering.com, but became an active and obsessive member the weekend you all watched Christopher and Anna (Marie)'s wedding together. Never laughed so much in my life - possibly not how Steve intended his message to be received :D

[MrsKay]

I had a post, and then it was eaten when my finger slipped and hit some random key. Damn.

Anyway - I'm MrsKay, same as the old boards. I'm married to my second husband, and I have 3 arrows in my quiver (14, 7 and 4 months). I would love more, but, probably because I follow the Pagan path, God has chosen to smite my fertility and curse me with endometriosis, RPL, and other issues that Godly women are spared from. My relatives, for the most part, are very religious, either of Catholic or Mormon background. The means I'm the black sheep, who is not often spoken of, but that's okay - they scare me. I'd rather snark on them from a distance.

I have no idea how I came across FJ, to be honest - I always had a fascination with fundies, the trainwreck kind, with a bit of envy mixed in when faced with blogs displaying perfectly tidy homes and everything handmade. I probably came here when I was Googling for a blog to stalk. But I came, and I saw that it was good.

I also have a blog, but only recently have had time to think of new posts to write in the immediate future. I can only offer life with babies and kids, the joys and miseries of trying to breastfeed, living with autism (both my own and my 7 year old son's - I'm high-functioning, he's low-functioning and severely afflicted, but I'd rather deal with him than a J-Bot any day), and whatever random crap pops into my head: http://meditativescribe.blogspot.com/ .

So yeah, that's about it for me. I must add, I appreciate what new colors I've seen so far! Thanks, admins and mods!

[persimmon]

Hi hi! I'd been lurking on the old forum.

I have megachurchy extended family, so I'm used to watching dramaz. I consider this an extension of the sport.

[Extricated]

I was raised very conservatively and later became a fundie in my teens. As my name implies I'm extricated from the legalism. I am a Christian homeschool mom.

Out in public with my anklebiters people used to ask if I was trying for my own tv show. It wasn't until someone mentioned the Duggars by name that I looked them up and understood what they meant. I suppose I was pretty sheltered from tv/magazines if I didn't even know who Michelle Duggar was. :lol: In 6 degrees of separation I'm 1-2 from most fundy royalty but I'm nobody.

Thank you, Alecto, for setting all of this up. I already prefer it to yuku. :D

[unfound]

Hello, all! I'm unfound, and I'm a big ol' lurker. 32, writer, married, just moved into a wonderful house, 3 perfectly insane cats.

I've been interested in fundamentalists for a long time; my dad was gay, and many of those arrows they're breedin' are meant to be aimed at me and mine, so I figured it was best to try and keep a finger on the fundamentalist pulse. Growing up, of course, I got the expected static from them. I find I am always queasily dismayed by the things that they do in the name of their God. I'm an atheist, but it always pissed me off that they would profane something that should be beautiful and singular and uplifting. So I wait, and I watch.

I think I first found Ladies Against Feminism from a SomethingAwful Awful Link of the Day, or something. That, of course, led me to the Vision Forum. Somewhere in there, I found a link to the Pearls. All equally gobsmacking, really. I think if I ever had enough money, I'd want to help some of those sad girls escape. That's what really gets me.

My gratitude to all of you who facilitated the move. It will be so much better in so many ways. Gasp, we're all scandalously unyoked from Yuku!

[uber frau]

Saying hi.

I'm 29, permanant student and I live in Australia. Married with 2 arrows and one unborn blessing.

Grew up Fundie in a Calvinist/Reformed tradition so I know lots about TULIP and what a sinner I am. My religious leanings fall somewhere between liberal Lutheranism and optimistic agnosticism, depending on what day it is.

I spend way too much time on FJ, but mostly reading.

[tonamieaimee]

Just testing the new board.

I'm Aimee, and I live in the UK. I was pretty seriously Catholic, but grew out of it, and am now without a spiritual home. :roll: I love to knit and do other crafty things, but I have to snark at the same time. I wasn't a frequent poster on the old boards, but I lurked a lot.

I also just read something from *Praise Him*'s blog that made me laugh:

I have grown so much as a follower of the Cross since then!

I will soon bring a new follower into the World.

I recovered from my BATTLE WITH SATAN and God *Praise Him* prevailed over the forces of darkness!!

We also got a puppy.

I'm thinking about making "We also got a puppy" my version of "I like puffins!".

[Extricated]

I'm thinking about making "We also got a puppy" my version of "I like puffins!".

rofl

[tehgoobster]

The Lord laid it upon my heart to introduce myself, and I purpose to encourage you heathens with my biblical worldview. ;) Anyway, I'm tehgoobster, which is the name I used over at the Yuku forum. I originally stumbled upon FJ when researching the Duggars' religious beliefs, and I was shocked to learn about Bill Gothard, ATI, Vision Forum, the Botkins, the Maxwells, and all our favorite fundies. Prior to coming to FJ, I knew very, very little about fundie subculture. I find it all pretty fascinating, and I can't get enough.

[liveonradio]

Hi hi! I'm liveonradio as I was on the old board, and my goal is to lurk less and snark more :D

I'm in my mid-30s, living a carefree spinster life with my five cats in Finland. I've been an atheist all my life pretty much and fundamentalism fascinates me because it's so utterly foreign to my thinking. I think I originally found Free Jinger through the dark_christian community on Livejournal, but even before that, I followed several fundie blogs. Gretchen from YLCF was my gateway fundie :D

In the rest of my spare time, I like to knit and swim.

[wtylcf]

Now that the new board is up and running, it seems like an excellent time to finally de-lurk. Hello! I'm WTYLCF, and as you might guess, the name is an homage to my formerly favourite fundie blog. "What the...YLCF!?" was an expression I coined in reaction to many of Gretchen's early posts on marriage, man-pleasing, and so on, back a few years ago. Sadly for me, but happily for the state of humankind, both YLCF and Gretchen's personal blog have been given a small dosage of common sense and compassion in the past while, making them far less snarkworthy than before. I came across Free Jinger during Nataliegate, and, while completely horrified to find out that Ference was a seriously terrifying conman, I was thrilled to find that she'd extricated herself from that relationship and softened her hold on her previously ironclad beliefs in light of her life experiences. She was always my favourite of the YLCF girls, and I'm hoping that her life after this point will be full of joy and good times, as she's probably way overdue for some good luck.

I'm 28, an intern architect, raised Mennonite (not the fundie sort; mennonite brethren, which is pretty much like general conference evangelical). My extended family runs the gamut from atheist to Lutheran to Catholic and we all manage to get along pretty well. In my late teens and early 20s, I was in a very ill-advised relationship, my very first, with a quasi-fundie guy, who loved everything about me except my desire for my own career and my proto-feminist leanings. A couple of years and a broken engagement later, I decided to really question what I believed, in the desire to never have someone come along and try to fundamentally change who I was in the guise of trying to make me more "godly" and save me from my heathen tendencies. Well, I've pretty much embraced my inner heathen, which made for some rough times with my family, but fortunately they've come to realize that I'm still the same person only with a touch more self-acceptance and open-mindedness. My rebound relationship after my breakup with mr. Fundie-lite is still going strong, and 6 years later we're happily living together, not married and attending services at the very liberal United Church of Canada.

I became fascinated with fundie culture during my early 20s and, in a way, used the writing I found on fundie blogs to help figure out what I didn't believe about my own faith. Now, I mostly read them for the thrill of discovering someone who is ridiculous, absurd, who raises my ire and who is wrong in every way - yet who intrigues me so much I keep coming back for more.

[Jamanda]

Re-intro (i know, i posted one like a week ago, but I don't want to be left out!)

Hi, Jamanda (Duggars were my gateway fundies) here!

26, Female, Sydney-Australia

Raised Catholic, grew out of it when I studied Ancient History at uni. Did business post-grad and now Lecture at uni in various Business subjects. In long-distance relationship with Jbrian of VA, USA for almost a year now. Have no arrows of my own (one puppy Jaltaira), but adore Jbrian's little girl (age 6 and lives with daddy), and his furbabies Jdexter and Jally (kitties).

Consider myself quasi-agnostic-platonist-structuralist (work in progress).

My dad came out when I was 17 and my parents divorced.

Edited to add info, and then again to correctly spell edited :(

[amie]

..........

[momoko]

Hi everyone!

I'm Momoko, 27 years old and female with two cats.

My family is Catholic and I went to Catholic primary and secondary schools. I stopped believing at 13 years old when I came out at high school and am now an atheist. I'm almost at the end of an education course and will eventually become a primary school teacher.

I found Free Jinger while searching for articles about the Duggars (they both facinate and repulse me) and love reading all the snark!

[makepeace]

Testing. I'm Makepeace, here to make peace. I like to snark but also agree with many fundies on their values and way of living. Was raised liberal athiest, now Christian and becoming more conservative every year.

[Soldier of the One]

Hello FJ people!

Delurking just in time to be Raptured :D

Read the forum rules and looking forward to my first 'you're all going to Hell' post and joining the new board.

I've been a long-time lurker but the recent flurry of activity encouraged me to come out of my shell.

A little more about me: I am religiously Jewish and politically liberal.

I am a total religion geek and love/fear the phenomenon of American Religion.

My gateway fundie was actually the show 'Big Love'. This got me researching polygamy and fundamentalist religion.

Then I discovered Christian fundamentalism through LAF. I think I must have googled 'ladies' and 'feminism' for some reason and ran into them. I grew fascinated and started reading the blogs. I haven't looked back since then!

Nice to be here, good luck organizing the new board and a shout out to Alecto, Burris and all the others doing the hard work. :)

Edited to remove some info.

[Inanna]

Hi, I'm Inanna and I'm sad that the boards changed over just as I got to "tater tot" and now I'm stuck with "You're all going to hell" again. Alas! That's what I get for lurking for so long, I suppose.

Anyway, I grew up Southern Baptist/Catholic (that was a bit awkward, let me tell you) but, since I lived in the southern US where church is kind of a thing, I went to all sorts of churches with friends and relatives. After going to Southern Baptist megachurches and scary Church of Christ churches, I thought that I'd pretty much seen the worst that religion had to offer. And then I found No Longer Quivering and Free Jinger. :x

Now I'm a happy little pagan living out in the mountains with two kids, one dog, one cat, and some number of foster animals at any given point in time. The oldest kid has decided he's an atheist after doing a unit on various world religions, the youngest kind of likes the idea of the Greek pantheon. The dog and cat have not spoken up about their personal religious beliefs, but I'm pretty sure the cat thinks she's God and the dog worships the Fridge That Holds Cheese and Hotdogs.

I guess my fascination with fundies comes from realizing that they run in some of the same circles that I do. I like to knit, cook, can food, garden, and make my own stuff. I homeschool the guys, but not for fundie-type reasons, and am working on my doula certification. Buuuut... I look like a punk rock kid, defraud people with my ankles or cleavage on the regular, am working on a degree at the local university, and am Liberal McProgressivepants. SO. Obviously it gets a little weird running into the frumper-and-plumbing-line crowd, and I like to fully understand why they're giving me the side-eye all the time.

And snark. I like to snark.

[Soldier of the One]

Hi!

Noob here, introduced myself in a separate thread but I might as well join in :)

- Long-time lurker, 30-something, politically liberal, religious, egalitarian Jew. Happily married.

I am endlessly fascinated by all sorts of religions and subcultures and am so glad that there are others out there who share that fascination.

My gateway fundies were the ladies from LAF. I was hooked and haven't looked back since! :)

Nice to get (re)acquainted :)

[Jecca]

Well, hello.

Jecca here. Early 40s, Australian, child-free, providing board and lodging to a dog and two cats.

I found Free Jinger whilst stalking/researching the Maxwells, who I came across via the Duggar's old website.

I mainly lurk.

There's a lot of Exclusive Brethren around my neighbourhood and I find them quite fascinating.

Big find today - someone on my local Freecycle group has the name 'covenantkeeper'!!! I got all excited!!

[FlorenceHamilton]

I am FlorenceHamilton, which is not really my name. But is was my nickname on the previous site as well. I am 50, divorced from the most evil man I ever met. Happily single and staying that way. I have 3 children from my first marriage, all grown. I am a FP doc in rural SC. I am a damn Yankee by birth, and also Jewish and Liberal by birth. At this point I have embraced my atheism. My politics are now Independent. Still love Philly Cheese Steaks.

Working on starting a blog, but do not yet have one.

My gateway fundie blog was NoLongerQivering. The parallels to my own situation, my new home in the south and a bunch of other stuff made it resonate with me. Good to be here with y'all (or yous)

Flo

[twin2]

Hi. I'm twin2 and yes I am a twin (identical in case you want to know). I'm a 30ish unmarried maiden with no kids, but an adorable nephew and one evil kitteh. I'm a scientist in a field fundies hate almost as much as evolution. I first got interested in fundies channel surfing one night when I came across this freakishly large family taking a field trip to the creation museum. As a scientist I watched and was appalled. Somehow on a google search I ended up here. My hobbies are crosswords, baking, scrabble playing and snarking on teh fundies. Oh yeah, I also can't spell to save my life and since it looks like this board does not have spell check, please excuse all of my future riffles (there will be many).

[CanadianMom]

Hi all, I just joined about a week ago at the other site, but I am over here now. I am the a Canadian mom to little kiddos, a son and a daughter, and I am a Catholic married to a Jew! I work - outside the home - for the government!

I have lurked for ages, not regulalry, but I read more often after Emily/DNA - hilarious!

[booksnbeats]

Hi everyone! I just recently joined this board but have been loving the community. I was raised Catholic, but no longer consider myself religious. I'm a graduate student and I love hip hop (hence the name). I study Victorian literature and plan to be an English professor. I live with my husband of six years who has been pretty tolerant of my new internet obsession (i.e. fundies)!