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Jinger and Jeremy: Life with the Soccer Preacher Man


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choralcrusader8613

Last thread here:

Thread title credit goes to @JermajestyDuggar and @JMO.On Counting On, we saw the wedding of these two for the second time, but in real time, Jinger and Jeremy are still quiet. We saw a video where they said they're getting used to life as newlyweds and trying to learn Spanish (because they live in Laredo, TX). I'm getting a vision of when Jill called Josh "hermano" for no damn reason, and I hope their attempt is better than that.

We also had a pages-long discussion about STDs, pregnancy, and the merits of birth control, so nobody can tell me that you can't learn something from snark forums! :P I hope everyone else found it as informative and enlightening.

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**Warning: Very long and personal post. I apologise in advance for the wall I'm text** Coming out of lurkdom to say: I couldn't agree with the bolded more. I am a very stereotypically feminine ga

This really should be obvious, but you can't tell whether a person is gay based on their mannerisms, voice, appearance, style, interests, hobbies, or personality. 

Well...i guess I'll join in on the drift haha. My mom passed before I got my period, It was just me and my dad and older brother, I put the sticky side of the pad up. Because I thought the blood was s

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MamaJunebug

Informative, enlightening and a little terrifying. 

Insomnia & I looked up JinJer's church in Laredo early this morning. Honestly doesn't look like a lot going on--? I chose not to turn up the volume so I have no idea what Jer's expository preaching and sermonizing are like. 

That its name is "Grace Community" reminds me of the creepy churches with similar names that are often the source of sad, sad stories over at The Wartburg Watch.  And what's with a quadrant if the crown of thorns instead of the cross as a fundie-church logo? Part of me thinks it's just au courant like the dove was back when charismatic speaking in tongues was popular ("popular"? I dunno...)

Part of me wonders if it's part of a neo-Calvinist code of "see what you did to the son of god? You're guilty til *we *say you're not guilty!"

 

ETA: I went back to HCCLaredo's page and tried to listen to Bro. Vuolo preach. Two things prevented me: 1--the incessant minor-key plinking in the background and 2--his histrionics. And did I mention the piano plinking two notes in a minor key?

Edited by MamaJunebug
to give fair warning about the plinking and the yelling and the plinking
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Four is Enough

When Four was approaching puberty, I found a book recommended very highly by other mothers of girls. It was a great starting point for the discussions that followed.

 

Available on Amazon.

https://www.amazon.com/Care-Keeping-You-Valorie-Schaefer-ebook/dp/B00BHI2GW4/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1487866442&sr=8-1&keywords=american+girl+book+on+puberty

 

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Fluffy14

Did anyone notice how genuinely happy Meechelle was greeting Jeremy at the airport? I have never seen her smile so freely. Usually she bears a gritted teeth forced smile. I think she is a little "taken" with her newest son in law.  

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CreationMuseumCurator
11 minutes ago, Four is Enough said:

When Four was approaching puberty, I found a book recommended very highly by other mothers of girls. It was a great starting point for the discussions that followed.

 

Available on Amazon.

https://www.amazon.com/Care-Keeping-You-Valorie-Schaefer-ebook/dp/B00BHI2GW4/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1487866442&sr=8-1&keywords=american+girl+book+on+puberty

 

I received this book, and it was great. I highly recommend it. 

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Fluffy14

Does anyone think how odd it was the Jinger wanted to be surprised at her wedding decor? I thought about that. Most women are very detailed about what is going to be done down to the last detail. In some clips the Duggar girls said how indecisive Jinger is, and she just needs encouragement in her choices. I find this whole thing so bizarre. Like they have been trained their whole lives to think about things the way they were told. Obey, obey obey. Don't question authority. No independent thinking . She must have just hung back her whole life letting others decide things for her.  My only other thought is that she has seen Miss Cindy's  creativity, class , and style and had full confidence she would pull it off. I mean Jinger didn't even know what her groom was wearing.  her parents did say she was a good follower, and would make a good wife in that regard. I hope Jinger starts making her own decisions, based on her own thoughts and ideas.  I hope she learns to be confident in them. I hope Jetemy recognizes this and encourages her in this  and doesn't dominate over her,  because she will just fall in line like she has always done.

My only other thing is now she is married and can freely go a wherever  she want s on her own. Getting gas, groceries, and shopping by herself . I think it would be alluring, exciting and terrifying all at the same time. She has  had a zoo of people with her since the day she was born.   

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MamaJunebug
54 minutes ago, Fluffy14 said:

Did anyone notice how genuinely happy Meechelle was greeting Jeremy at the airport? I have never seen her smile so freely. Usually she bears a gritted teeth forced smile. I think she is a little "taken" with her newest son in law.  

Well yeah---as someone who's always been attracted to swarthy guys with good builds, I consider Pastor Jer quite the step up from patchy-bearded scarecrow Dullard and certainly from baby-faced Dudebro Bin. 

And look at what Meechelle doomed herself to tango with for all her borned days: the dictionary illustration of "colorless," JB Duggar.  Oh yeah. I won't be surprised at all if Meechy suddenly feels called to, y'know, act like a real grandma and want to go help Jinger when the first Vuoline eventually comes around. 

Meech, you cougar!!!

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danni9242

Maybe after what happened with Jubilee and to some extent Josie some of the mist cleared for M and she started to see the BS she'd signed her daughters up for. Maybe? She needs JB now she's older with no skills and a bunch of kids who still need care. Maybe she thinks getting the heck out of Arkankas with Jeremy is the best possible thing for Jinger.

I can dream anyway.

I can see far more of the daughters at least picking partners with whom they can live further away than Benessa ended up. And picking people with jobs not reliant on Daddy. Some of them at least MUST be able to see the gravy train is going to derail at some point soon?

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Exposedknees
1 hour ago, Four is Enough said:

When Four was approaching puberty, I found a book recommended very highly by other mothers of girls. It was a great starting point for the discussions that followed.

 

Available on Amazon.

https://www.amazon.com/Care-Keeping-You-Valorie-Schaefer-ebook/dp/B00BHI2GW4/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1487866442&sr=8-1&keywords=american+girl+book+on+puberty

 

I agree. This book is a GREAT starting point. As my two got older I supplemented with *Our Bodies Ourselves* ISBN-13: 978-1439190661 and *S.E.X.: The All-You-Need-to-Know Progressive Sexuality Guide to Get You Through High School and College*-we had the first edition but It appears to have been updated in 2016 978-0738218847.  Mine liked reading and researching their questions by themselves but it opened conversations later. It makes me sad that the Dugger girls don't have this kind of access. I wonder if the pre-wedding sex talk is handled by the married sisters- it might become their "Jurisdiction." All these girls go in flying blind, expected to put out 6 hours post 1st kiss. I hope that Jeremy had prior experience and was sensitive. I doubt Derdick or Bin did....

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Italiangirl
24 minutes ago, danni9242 said:

I can see far more of the daughters at least picking partners with whom they can live further away than Benessa ended up. And picking people with jobs not reliant on Daddy. Some of them at least MUST be able to see the gravy train is going to derail at some point soon?

Mmm i'm bit so sure maybe jana or jd, if i Made an effort i could Think to jessa, for sure not Jill and the other kids was young when all this start so for them it could be the norm and they don't think that it could end 

Edited by Italiangirl
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Exposedknees

Way back when.... one of  my aforementioned daughters came home from her FIRST DAY OF MIDDLE SCHOOL and asked me what a blow job was, I screamed internally and answered the question. It's sometimes hard to be straightforward about sex but you have to be. Now she's 25 and we still have conversations. The 21 year old as well...Tailor your answers and conversations to the age that your kids are....my mom told me very little if anything. I swore that my daughter's would be sexually informed. 

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front hugs > duggs

Pretty sure I came home from middle school one day and asked what "hermes" was, as a friend said her older brother got herpes ! My mom said hmmm I'm pretty sure Hermes is a Greek god. She ran away from it. I was also the daughter that didn't tell her initially when I got my period or when I had sex or anything. She was 40 when I was born, and always felt a bit out of touch that way.

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karen77
2 hours ago, Four is Enough said:

When Four was approaching puberty, I found a book recommended very highly by other mothers of girls. It was a great starting point for the discussions that followed.

 

Available on Amazon.

https://www.amazon.com/Care-Keeping-You-Valorie-Schaefer-ebook/dp/B00BHI2GW4/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1487866442&sr=8-1&keywords=american+girl+book+on+puberty

 

I just put that in my amazon cart, thanks! (I have an 8 year old daughter)

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candygirl200413

All my friends had that book and I think that's my biggest I guess disappointment my parents had with dealing with me and puberty. I think it had to do with them culturally not growing up talking about puberty and that I started rather early (2nd grade). I remember always wanting to read it at my friend's house cause I still had so many questions and it was so so confusing.

 

Once my friends went through it I felt a million times better, but those were what I call were the dark ages (2nd-6th grade).

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Gillyweed

When I was about 10, my best friend had the book Four mentioned. She showed me the page about inserting tampons. I had no idea what it was about or what the cartoon girl was doing, but I was mainly freaked out by the hair down there. A few weeks later, my mom gave me the same book, and I turned right to the tampon page to understand the cartoon. She also gave my (older) brothers some cartoon book about changing bodies and sex around the same time , but their's also included girl parts. I remember we found all the weirdly shaped boobs hilarious (the cartoon girls basically had rectangles for boobs). 

That book was basically the extent of the "talk" I got, although my school system had really good sex ed. By 5th grade, the school nurse taught us how to use pads. 

A year or go I mentioned to my mom that she never actually gave me the "talk", so she asked if I wanted it. I replied, "Absolutely not!"

Edited by Gillyweed
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PennySycamore

@candygirl200413, as I mentioned on a thread over at AYTJF, even Brownie GS leaders are taught how to talk to their girls about getting their periods.  A Brownie getting her first period at sleep-away camp or day camp has happened enough that leaders of Brownie troops need to know how to deal with it and how to talk to the girl.

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56 minutes ago, front hugs > duggs said:

Pretty sure I came home from middle school one day and asked what "hermes" was, as a friend said her older brother got herpes ! My mom said hmmm I'm pretty sure Hermes is a Greek god. She ran away from it. I was also the daughter that didn't tell her initially when I got my period or when I had sex or anything. She was 40 when I was born, and always felt a bit out of touch that way.

My mom was 42 when I was born and I also don't remember ever being open with her about puberty or sex at all.  She gave me the basic puberty, sex, and pregnancy talks.  However, I also had a 13 year long Catholic education, which had your typical mixture of abstinence only/sex is sinful/you should be ashamed of your body and urges sex education.  That has left me with an unhealthy relationship with my body and sex that I'm still learning how to deal with.  

Thankfully my parents are progressive Catholics, and they didn't reinforce this message at home, but I do think it lead to me being much less open with them.  

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Four is Enough
1 hour ago, PennySycamore said:

@candygirl200413, as I mentioned on a thread over at AYTJF, even Brownie GS leaders are taught how to talk to their girls about getting their periods.  A Brownie getting her first period at sleep-away camp or day camp has happened enough that leaders of Brownie troops need to know how to deal with it and how to talk to the girl.

Brownies!! At least I was 11! And it didn't happen at camp!

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JermajestyDuggar
3 hours ago, Fluffy14 said:

Does anyone think how odd it was the Jinger wanted to be surprised at her wedding decor? I thought about that. Most women are very detailed about what is going to be done down to the last detail. In some clips the Duggar girls said how indecisive Jinger is, and she just needs encouragement in her choices. I find this whole thing so bizarre. Like they have been trained their whole lives to think about things the way they were told. Obey, obey obey. Don't question authority. No independent thinking . She must have just hung back her whole life letting others decide things for her.  My only other thought is that she has seen Miss Cindy's  creativity, class , and style and had full confidence she would pull it off. I mean Jinger didn't even know what her groom was wearing.  her parents did say she was a good follower, and would make a good wife in that regard. I hope Jinger starts making her own decisions, based on her own thoughts and ideas.  I hope she learns to be confident in them. I hope Jetemy recognizes this and encourages her in this  and doesn't dominate over her,  because she will just fall in line like she has always done.

My only other thing is now she is married and can freely go a wherever  she want s on her own. Getting gas, groceries, and shopping by herself . I think it would be alluring, exciting and terrifying all at the same time. She has  had a zoo of people with her since the day she was born.   

It's been obvious to me since the first specials that amongst has always just followed Jessa. Now she follows Jeremy. 

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lumpentheologie
3 hours ago, Exposedknees said:

Way back when.... one of  my aforementioned daughters came home from her FIRST DAY OF MIDDLE SCHOOL and asked me what a blow job was, I screamed internally and answered the question. It's sometimes hard to be straightforward about sex but you have to be. Now she's 25 and we still have conversations. The 21 year old as well...Tailor your answers and conversations to the age that your kids are....my mom told me very little if anything. I swore that my daughter's would be sexually informed. 

When I was 17 my mom found a morning-after pill box in my trash (I know, very irresponsible, but I was so young and it could have been worse) and she gave me a book called the Guide to Getting it On.  Very comprehensive book about having sex in a responsible and enjoyable way -- it was like the Bible of sex for me.  I took it to college with me freshman year and all the girls on my floor borrowed it.   I think they're coming out with a new edition this year. It would be great for older teenagers who are starting to have sex or really considering starting, especially given the often very inadequate sex-ed in this country. 

I was kind of mortified that my mother had given it to me, but all the knowledge would have been worth even more embarrassment. 

Edited by lumpentheologie
added feelings and grammar
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MayMay1123

i remember reading a cartoon 'facts of life' book with my kids when they were young...somehow they got it out of the house and all the kids in the neighborhood were discussing it...its funny *now* :my_blush:

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6 hours ago, Fluffy14 said:

Does anyone think how odd it was the Jinger wanted to be surprised at her wedding decor? I thought about that. Most women are very detailed about what is going to be done down to the last detail. In some clips the Duggar girls said how indecisive Jinger is, and she just needs encouragement in her choices. I find this whole thing so bizarre. Like they have been trained their whole lives to think about things the way they were told. Obey, obey obey. Don't question authority. No independent thinking . She must have just hung back her whole life letting others decide things for her.  My only other thought is that she has seen Miss Cindy's  creativity, class , and style and had full confidence she would pull it off. I mean Jinger didn't even know what her groom was wearing.  her parents did say she was a good follower, and would make a good wife in that regard. I hope Jinger starts making her own decisions, based on her own thoughts and ideas.  I hope she learns to be confident in them. I hope Jetemy recognizes this and encourages her in this  and doesn't dominate over her,  because she will just fall in line like she has always done.

My only other thing is now she is married and can freely go a wherever  she want s on her own. Getting gas, groceries, and shopping by herself . I think it would be alluring, exciting and terrifying all at the same time. She has  had a zoo of people with her since the day she was born.   

So, I haven't actually seen the episode, but this is the Internet so I'll add my two cents anyway. :) 

I'm not someone who would never be called a meek follower (in fact, I think in moments of anger loved ones have referred to me as "headstrong" and "domineering," teehee). But when it comes to decorating (whether for living spaces or events), I am so deeply relieved when someone volunteers to take over. Funny enough, I actually like fashion and can be opinionated on the ambiance of restaurants or the aesthetics of other people's homes. I just hate sorting out all the little details and find that kind of coordination very stressful, and am happy to leave that to people who are more conscientious about that kind of stuff.

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I learned about most things relating to the body from my mom. She was told when she got her first period "If you lie down with a boy you will get pregnant". My grandmother probably thought she knew what sex was since she was a bit late (15) and said nothing more but my mom didn't have a clue and wondered if she was pregnant after lying down in the same room as a boy at the same time. Thankfully one of her sisters gave her the basic information of part A into part B so to speak and at least she knew that was necessary to get pregnant. Because of how bad she felt it was for her she was always trying to make sure we all knew about sex, she kept condoms in a drawer in the upstairs hallway if we needed one and she was quite progressive about gay rights and made it clear she was totally OK with any child of hers being gay and even told me about transsexuality which I think very few people knew much about in the 80s and 90s in Sweden. 

I also read books of different kinds at different ages. As a child I read Per, Ida och Minimum which was a book about to children getting a baby sibling. It is very open about sex, birth control, lust and such. Today it is a bit outdated but I read it a lot. As a teen I remember a book about getting your period but not the title. There was also a magazine for children with a column about your body, feelings and sex. There I learned that girls could masturbate. I had heard about boys and men doing it but never really thought about girls doing it. 

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nvmbr02

I gave the original Care and Keeping of you to my older daughter when she was 9 or so. They have since split it into two books, one for older kids and one for younger. I keep meaning to get the one for younger girls for my 7 year old, I think it would be great for her. I should take a look at the new one for older girls. My oldest is 13 but hasn't started her period yet. While I think she is prepared more information isn't a bad thing. She will not talk to me about anything though, completely closed lipped. Occasionally I can get information out of her via text message. It drives Dh nuts, but I figure any way we can communicate is a good thing. Does anyone happen to have a good book recommendation for boys and puberty? Ds is just now showing signs of puberty now  and while we have talked to him about what to expectI like to have references the kids can look at on their own too. Thankfully my son and my younger daughter are both  comfortable talking to us, at least for now. I will also add my two favorite books for talking about sex are It's Not The Stork (for the 6-7 and under crowd) and It's So Amazing (for the slightly older age group) . 

Growing up my mom gave us all a book call PERIOD. She gave it to me at 10 and my period started just 3 months later, talk about timing! She was always pretty open about sex and birth control with us though. I did not get along with my mom and never felt comfortable talking to her but at least she tried. Thankfully I did have aunts and older cousins who I was comfortable talking with. I do know my 13 year old does talk to my sister some, though not often. Kids are so dang hard sometimes. 

 

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MamaJunebug

Big Mama JB was close to perfect.m, but not. I was bored one day and rummaged in the credenza for something to do. Found a little  booklet with a photo of a nurse in the funniest-looking cap I'd ever seen and took it to BMJB, laughing. She blanched and yelled, ""PUT THAT BACK and stay out of the furniture!"  When I started a few weeks later, she mentioned that this is what that booklet  was about, kitted me out with a pad and a belt (young ones: don't ask me, but do thank your personal deity for removable adhesive pads and good tampons) and there we were. Never did read the blasted booklet. I like to think the junior JB females got better info from me, but i was so tired all the time during those years, I don't recall. 

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