Counting On: Season 3, Part 4: Fake Glares to Hide the Obvious

[Tangy Bee]

8 hours ago, amandaaries said:

 

Haven't seen this episode yet, but I did watch the World's Strictest Parents episode with Austin's family. Joy is NOT getting a good deal. She'll have a new headship, but Austin's dad is not a happy man and he doesn't seem to treat people well. JB has a million faults, but for their cult, he does try to treat his daughters well. Austin's mother and sister were some of the saddest, most hardworking and joyless women I've seen in fundieland (excluding some FLDS wives and children). I fear for her future at that campsite.

 

Yes, remember the mother explaining how it was their choice to take on the "burden" of running a Christian retreat. Back then, working at that camp and going to church is all Austin and his sister did. Do you all remember the part when the girls were painting a barn and it started to rain? Austin's sister kept right at it. A little later in their teens I noticed the parents let them leave the compound.

[trustworthy]

I actually really liked the honeymoon episode.  Jinger and Jeremy seem to be relating with true connection, love, and confidence in each other.  Jinger is glowing with a spark and a settled calm that comes only when you know you are loved and loving, and know deep down that that love isn't going away.  I'm so happy for her and so happy that she happened to get the right guy in the weird overly controlled system she was forced through.  Their love was palpable, and she seemed suddenly more mature and sure of herself.  I loved the way they were always laughing at inside jokes or some narrative from their first few days together that they weren't sharing.  I loved that Jeremy said, "We've laughed more in the past few days than in all the months before our marriage."  Laughing is so healthy.  And it wasn't a surprise -- as still weird as it is -- that he's finding things out about her that he didn't know before -- like her sense of humor etc. She was clearly always on guard in front of her parents and chaperones, and had to say the right thing.  Now no one is listening and she can let loose.  I have a sense there may be a snarker in there.  Somehow all these years she may have pushed her spark and rebellion deep inside but I feel like maybe it wasn't killed altogether, maybe she was keeping it safe, and she married someone with whom she feels free to start letting it out -- as pale and cautious as that spirit might be as it first comes out, I think we may see more and more of the real Jinger emerge. Only time will tell, but the way they interacted really encouraged me. There wasn't anything fake or forced or "this is what I'm supposed to say" about it.  I felt like she's let out a huge long breath.  I don't feel that about the other couples at all.

Yes, people will disagree, and mock, and snark on me perhaps, but I do feel something real and good about their relationship that I can't deny.

 

[apandaaries]

10 minutes ago, Tangy Bee said:

Yes, remember the mother explaining how it was their choice to take on the "burden" of running a Christian retreat. Back then, working at that camp and going to church is all Austin and his sister did. Do you all remember the part when the girls were painting a barn and it started to rain? Austin's sister kept right at it. A little later in their teens I noticed the parents let them leave the compound.

And forcing the Jewish teen to attend hours of their church, after criticizing her clothes as being defrauding.  Horrifying.  

The wife and kids were conditioned to just keep on working no matter what.  Dad's a strict taskmaster. The father's foolhardy determination led to the truck getting stuck in the mud, which then required a dramatic save that involved all the family members and the wild teens...but if he'd just relaxed and stayed home, the whole problem could have been avoided.  A windy dirt road after that kind of storm, with no time for things to dry out, but a steadfast stubbornness about work and idleness, leading to an entirely avoidable major problem.  Nor did he have an air of respecting and providing for the women around him; they were more like workhorses. His wife and daughter looked tired and worn down. 

Haven't seen the most recent episode myself, but I'm curious about how Austin and Joy interact.   Not sure what traits Austin has inherited from his dad, but time will tell.  He doesn't have a good role model, that's for sure. 

[metheglyn]

5 hours ago, Galbin said:

I think that Austin and Joy do appear to have a connection. It is however quite strange that he felt the need to point out that there would be no hand holding. 

Loved Jeremy and Jinger on their honeymoon. Re: two beds, many hotel rooms have one king and one queen. It has been a very common occurrence for my headship and I on our travels. I don't think they were staying in an actual honeymoon suite though. I think they saved that for the actual honeymoon, as the suites tend to be $$$.

I agree about it likely not actually being a honeymoon suite. That hotel doesn't look like it necessarily has a dedicated "honeymoon suite" anyway. I don't think they're all that common at this point, are they? King suites yes, but not "honeymoon suites."

Your comment about bed arrangements is interesting. I've never personally seen a hotel have both a King and Queen in the same room; usually rooms I've stayed in have had either a single King bed or paired Queens or Double/Full beds. Having extra beds can be very good for piling stuff on even if you're not using them. 

Frankly, when I saw the second bed it actually looks like it had a whole bunch of pillows lined up on it from the head to the foot, as a pillow catch-all spot, not like it had actually been used by either Jeremy or Jinger as a bed. 

         

[HarleyQuinn]

10 hours ago, trustworthy said:

 

Yes, people will disagree, and mock, and snark on me perhaps, but I do feel something real and good about their relationship that I can't deny.

 

I'm not going to snark on you but I do see something I can't deny from them.....lust. I'm not getting "happily in love" so much as I'm getting "happily having sex whenever I want after being repressed for years."

[Chewing Gum]

It's up on youtube, a bit quicker than usual. I loved Jingers clothes. Michelle probably won't and the clothes + food combined does show to me that Jeremy is broading her world to new things. So in a way, Jinger is free. I do wonder if she didn't want to eat the fish at first 'cause you can't eat raw fish when pregnant. Not that she was pregnant at that point but they aren't preventing so I get her hesitation there. 

[Suz8710]

I don't normally watch CO as I don't get TLC and have no strong desire to watch shows online, but I was curious about the Austin & Joy storyline and finally found a video online where they all don't have the same husky voice lol. My thoughts overall:

1. Jana is such a persona non-grata. I assume most of the episodes lately have been this way, but wow! Most of the boys  had as much screen time as she did, including minor Jason. I sort of hope it stays that way, assuming that's what she wants.

2. Why is Jed the only one around in the scene with Austin coming in at night(?) or was that early morning? Surely Austin wouldn't come over super late...can't believe no one else would be milling about the TTC. Austin must be super welcome there if he can just open the front door and walk in. Did any of the other courters get that treatment?

3. Nothing really to add on J & J that others haven't already said. Of the marrieds I'll be most curious to see where they go. I'm not sold on Jeremy.

4. Austin & Joy... I'm appalled at the preview of him asking for her hand...they look like high schoolers exploring their first dating situation.  I definitely think this is a case of Austin wanting to settle down and start a family and Joy just makes sense/is in his range of vision. I wouldn't call it desperate and I think he likes her, but I get an "out of convenience"/lazy type vibe from the situation. I'm somewhat reminded of  Brandon Keilen.

[choralcrusader8613]

12 minutes ago, Chewing Gum said:

It's up on youtube, a bit quicker than usual. I loved Jingers clothes. Michelle probably won't and the clothes + food combined does show to me that Jeremy is broading her world to new things. So in a way, Jinger is free. I do wonder if she didn't want to eat the fish at first 'cause you can't eat raw fish when pregnant. Not that she was pregnant at that point but they aren't preventing so I get her hesitation there. 

Nah, she just doesn't like fish that's looking back at her, if I recall correctly. She's had similar reactions when they were asked to eat fish in Israel and Japan.

[allthegoodnamesrgone]

On 2/28/2017 at 11:44 PM, amendgitan said:

I noticed that she had a cute and sly smile toward him when he asked her to court but he just kept staring at her, deadpan. Little emotion. 

Then afterward, she was feeling romantic and kept staring at him in the car, hoping he would stare back and smile, making that intimate connection. But he just stared soberly straight ahead. 

I don't think it's going to be a very fun match. 

Yeah. I think he's horny. But I don't know that he really knows anything about Joy and she seems different than he is. Horniness and compatability are two different things. 

What I've seen of Joy & Austin remind me of my husband and I. Not sure if any of you have seen any of the Ice Age movies, dh & I have a thing for animated movies, anyway in 1 of the movies Sid tells Manny that Eliie is for him,  He says "she is tons of fun and he is no fun at all. You complete each other"  So I'm tons of fun & he's no fun at all, he is very quiet and unassuming and I'm much more out going and prone to doing things, we've been married for 20 years now so we are doing something right.  Because of this I've always thought that we are good for each other, he keeps me from flying to the moon with my crazy ideas and I pull the stick out of his butt and make him have fun weather he wants to or not.  He pulls me down to toward earth I pull him out of his hole in the ground we work. 

[MargaretElliott]

I don't know about you guys but I can definitely see Austin's awkwardness coming from his dad. "If you're anything but the most respectful/proper/honorable gentleman on national television, then you'll go in the prayer closet until you're eighty!" or some such threat. I saw that World's Strictest Parents episode. Papa Forsyth cares about his image. Austin probably got a talking-to before going on TV. Hence the "Mr. Jimbob" and "Miss Joy-Anna" and all the stilted, stiff awkwardness. What we heard about his humor and disposition from the brothers and what we saw on-screen was so drastically different. Hell, I'm scared of Austin's dad and I only saw him on TV. Imagine living with him, being under his "umbrella of protection."

[Carm_88]

I don't think I would be very natural on tv either, I'd feel awkward as hell with the cameras following me around. Also, probably a reenactment, so that would make it that much worst. I'm not going to judge Austin just yet, I think they are both young, I wish they had more time to get to know each other before marriage. I guess we will see how it pans out. 

[CreationMuseumSeasonPass]

My mother in law moved to Biloxi, MS, a year and a half ago. They are raising their grandson. All of his neighborhood friends call her Miss Sarah, even though she's a grandma and has been married 30 years. It took her a bit to get used to. I think it's also a regional thing.

[CreationMuseumSeasonPass]

Wanted to add it's probably a sign of showing respect, whether it's to your elders or if you're a fundy boy and want to get in good with the girl you have a crush on. Whose brothers are merely feet away...

[singsingsing]

19 minutes ago, CreationMuseumSeasonPass said:

My mother in law moved to Biloxi, MS, a year and a half ago. They are raising their grandson. All of his neighborhood friends call her Miss Sarah, even though she's a grandma and has been married 30 years. It took her a bit to get used to. I think it's also a regional thing.

But it sounds like they're calling her 'Miss Sarah' as a sign of respect. There's nothing weird about calling your friend's grandma 'Miss So-and-so' but I've never heard a young guy called his 19-year-old girlfriend 'Miss'. Not since the 19th century, anyway.

[CreationMuseumSeasonPass]

2 minutes ago, singsingsing said:

But it sounds like they're calling her 'Miss Sarah' as a sign of respect. There's nothing weird about calling your friend's grandma 'Miss So-and-so' but I've never heard a young guy called his 19-year-old girlfriend 'Miss'. Not since the 19th century, anyway.

See above...lol

I'm sure Austin's dad was extremely regimented with manners and outward appearances. Even though the dad is a douche himself. My guess is it's probably something ingrained in Austin.

[singsingsing]

Just now, CreationMuseumSeasonPass said:

See above...lol

Sorry, looks like we posted at the same time! But my point stands... normal for a friend's grandma, not so much for your girlfriend. Unless someone else can chime in here... anyone from around where Austin lives? Is it normal to call your girlfriend 'Miss [first name]'?

[CreationMuseumSeasonPass]

25 minutes ago, singsingsing said:

Sorry, looks like we posted at the same time! But my point stands... normal for a friend's grandma, not so much for your girlfriend. Unless someone else can chime in here... anyone from around where Austin lives? Is it normal to call your girlfriend 'Miss [first name]'?

I wouldn't say it's normal, but nothing fundies do is really normal, is it? I'm just trying to point out an understanding of where it might be coming from. And, I agree with you, it's weird for people who are close in age/in a relationship...

[Berty K]

24 minutes ago, singsingsing said:

Is it normal to call your girlfriend 'Miss [first name]'?

Well, my whole family (parents, aunts, uncles) call me Miss Berty quite frequently. SO doesn't really though so idk. My family uses it as a term of endearment and have since I was a child. I do think it's quite Southern? But not sure. 

 

3 hours ago, Suz8710 said:

Why is Jed the only one around in the scene with Austin coming in at night(?) or was that early morning?

I think the answer is some of these scenes are staged and that's all there is to it. 

[Pukingpearl]

Where I grew up (the south but more of the bates area versus duggar), it wasn't at all uncommon to call people of any age Miss ___ or Mister ____ in casual conversation. I still do it sometimes to my children. And I'm a milennial. And I didn't grow up in a cult. 

[singsingsing]

Just now, Pukingpearl said:

Where I grew up (the south but more of the bates area versus duggar), it wasn't at all uncommon to call people of any age Miss ___ or Mister ____ in casual conversation. I still do it sometimes to my children. And I'm a milennial. And I didn't grow up in a cult. 

So you'd call your boyfriend "Mr. [first name]"? I'm not challenging you, by the way, I'm genuinely curious. I love linguistic quirks and if there are millennials out there calling their friends and romantic interests 'Mr' and 'Miss' that's pretty interesting.

[Pukingpearl]

2 minutes ago, singsingsing said:

So you'd call your boyfriend "Mr. [first name]"? I'm not challenging you, by the way, I'm genuinely curious. I love linguistic quirks and if there are millennials out there calling their friends and romantic interests 'Mr' and 'Miss' that's pretty interesting.

I don't know that I've ever called my husband that and he definitely is never referred to me that way. But I think I dated a guy in high school who called me Miss ____ sometimes? And I had an elementary school teacher who called many of her students in that manner. I've never spent too much type analyzing it before, tbh.

[CreationMuseumSeasonPass]

It doesn't happen here in the Midwest @singsingsing Sometimes, my senior VP at my office might say, "How's Miss Ashley today?" But, that's in passing and rarely done. But, no, I never call my husband "Mr. Richard," even when we started dating. I've only seen it in the southern U.S, and as a referral of respect to elders or someone in charge of something, like Miss Jane or Mr. Steve. But, I'm not a southern native, so it might be done more often than I have obviously experienced during family visits.

[Pukingpearl]

I should clarify that I don't mean it's a special way to refer to the person you're dating when I've heard it used or used it. I guess maybe it's a compromise of respect and informality? 

[Coconut Flan]

From her time in Arkansas, my mother called stepdad Mr. S at times and the Dawg even, Mr. Louie.  I mostly heard it toward older people or people in authority type positions, but I heard a few wives going Mr. X.  The miss thing was all over so I'm not sure I can sort it in my mind.

[karen77]

On 2/28/2017 at 10:38 PM, GoddessOfVictory said:

I noticed the same thing - that she seemed excited (dare I say joyful?) that he was asking her to court but he didn't quite match her emotion about it. I kept thinking maybe he was nervous about asking or maybe he's just not comfortable showing a lot of emotion, especially on camera?

 

I just looked up flight times to Sydney from Los Angeles (just because it's a likely hub) and a nonstop flight is coming in at around 14-15 hours, so I guess if they did fly to China from DFW and to Sydney from somewhere like LAX (or elsewhere in California) the two flights might clock in at around the same length.

I flew from LA to Sydney on the big Airbus 380 (full double decker) and it was 15 hrs. NOte it was 13 hrs coming back in a 747 but landing in San Fran.