Dillards 26 - Grifting All The Way!

[Snarkle Motion]

Why don't they move to Laredo? Derick can do "weekly" missionary work across the border. Jill will have family close by. I'm sure that Jeremy and Jinger wouldn't  love this idea ...but it makes the most sense to me. Derick can be a pretend missionary and use his Spanish skills. Jill will have family close by. Maybe Jim Bob can invest in property in the Laredo area for them. I don't know why I care about them or am thinking about this...

[VineHeart137]

What gets me is that most of what we've seen and heard from them while in CA is complaining and negativity. How they have trouble getting WiFi and there's wild animals and their gringo son isn't safe. But we see and hear precious little about them actually getting to know the people and their culture on a personal level. 

[grandmadugger]

Something has to be going down.  I just wish they both knew that running from your problems isn't healthy.  Helping people is a noble thing but Jill is pregnant and anything can go wrong, there are plenty of state side misson work that would keep them all safer and I dare say happier.

[Carm_88]

If they were actually doing some missionary work and loved it, were working side by side with the people, I would understand it. I would think, they made friends and have formed real relationships. Jill and Derick have done jack shit. 

[AlternativeVoice]

12 minutes ago, grandmadugger said:

Something has to be going down.  I just wish they both knew that running from your problems isn't healthy.  Helping people is a noble thing but Jill is pregnant and anything can go wrong, there are plenty of state side misson work that would keep them all safer and I dare say happier.

Maybe it has to do with whoever Amy is gna oust as the person that physically abused her.... .it's a stretch...but ya never know. 

[Carm_88]

2 minutes ago, AlternativeVoice said:

Maybe it has to do with whoever Amy is gna oust as the person that physically abused her.... .it's a stretch...but ya never know. 

It's Amy's father. Not a Duggar relative 

[AlternativeVoice]

38 minutes ago, Jilli said:

I don't think you're projecting. Jill looks seriously worn down. While I don't want to diagnose her with anything I do wish she were able to talk to someone. Even if she were just to vent. I don't think her pride would let her though, even if a minimal amount of help was available.

It honestly could be a case of post partum with Izzy that was never addressed. Her first child , labor went all the way left , pretty traumatic delivery & then her world turned upside down for her entire family when Josh gate broke loose, then leaving when Izzy was like what, 3 months? Not just to another state, another country entirely with no family nearby and not knowing the native langauage. Honestly, I would crack under that pressure. Jill never seemed resilient in the first place like Jana or Jessa to weather something like that. And who knows if Derrick was ever told about the abuse she went through. That could have thrown a huge wrench in their marriage if he wasn't aware. 

[Georgiana]

I think that whatever is going on with the Dillards is closely tied to Derrick's physical health.  Whether it be a major health issue, chronic illness, or addiction (I've posted my thoughts on my suspicions regarding pain pills before), Jill is ill-equipped to be a supportive partner in any of those situations.  

Despite their crap diet, the Duggars (especially JB and M) have incredibly robust health.  Most of the QF royal families do.  This is what Jill grew up seeing, and this is I am sure what she was expecting:  a healthy husband who could protect and provide for her and easy pregnancies/births that she recovered quickly from with no complications.  But the reality is much different.

Illness is stressful.  It's scary.  If severe and/or chronic, it can actually be traumatic (as in, the brain processes it as a trauma event).  But moreover...it's for sinners in Jill's world.  If you're a GOOD Christian, God will protect you.  

So how do you handle medical trauma when prayer didn't protect you...and when it isn't healing your husband...and when it might not protect you again?

[Pasta]

If good Christians don't get sick, does that mean dilldick isn't a good ChriStian?

Poor jillypoodle. Must be hard to adapt to the real world...

[singsingsing]

It would be hard enough for her to adapt to the real world, I'm sure, but she's not living in the real world. She's living in a sort of simultaneously privileged and hellish world partly of her own creation, partly forced upon her by her parents. The real world usually doesn't consist of being outed as a sexual abuse victim on the cover of tabloids, having the reality TV show you grew up starring on cancelled, giving tearful interviews about the abuse you suffered watched by millions of people, getting a new reality show, and travelling back and forth between your scary missionary work in a developing country and your McMansion in Arkansas multiple times a year, with a cover shoot for People magazine thrown in here and there.

[socalrules]

Honestly, I think Derrick is a wanderer. I don't think he wants to live anything close to a conventional lifestyle. He would be happy drifting from place to place without any real responsibilities. Realistically, he doesn't take care of the responsibilities he has now. He left the real work to Jim Bob and TLC. Jill was not raised to take care of her family in any other manner than cooking, cleaning, raising babies and obeying her husband. I don't think she wants to go back to CA but will bow to the whims of her loser husband, even if it is to her detriment.

Anyone figure out why they need $24k for four months in the field? Seems like you could live nicely for a few years down in CA with that amount of money. I don't get why any of the leghumpers don't question why the Dillard's don't use the money they make from Counting On for their trip. Since Jim Bob seems to pay for their living expenses while in Arkansas, they make more than enough per season to pay their own way in CA. Although they don't make Kardashian money, each family is likely making enough to at least live a decent middle class lifestyle in Arkansas. I say this as someone who does not believe they are making a crap load of money off this show. 

[AlternativeVoice]

1 hour ago, Carm_88 said:

It's Amy's father. Not a Duggar relative 

Oh! Thanks for clarifying!

[Denim Jumper]

This is a rather impetuous move to make with a pregnant wife! I could maybe see if it were a short trip, like a month or two... but to go away for Jill's last trimester and cutting it close to her due date (with a higher risk birth, at that) is dangerous and irresponsible. 

Why not stay put until in Arkansas, take the next several months to raise funding (or, you know, WORK), and head back to Danger America at the end of summer? 

I guess Derrick is one of those "I'm not a 'job' kind of person" people, but for crap sake, it ain't all about him. 

Now I kind of wonder if the Duggars are on the horns of another scandal, and he's getting the hell out of Dodge before it breaks. 

[danni9242]

What did Derrick do in Nepal? In the brief amount we saw of him there it did appear he had actually at least learnt some history/cuisine and knew some locals, at least moreso than in CA.

Jill had her little missionary trips with the family and I think that's what she thought all missionary work was like when she professed her desire to be a career missionary. The reality that outside of the churches/groups it can be scary and violent and you can be unwelcome was a surprise to her.

I think Derrick would have gone further but had to appease JB with being in the Americas and having a secure house.

Then Jill has been dealing with the Josh scandal and her traumatic birthing experience without proper counselling. Jessa is a far stronger character in terms of dealing with these things and whilst Bin has his faults I think he would be better than Derrick in upholding and supporting his wife through that. Ben cares for Jessa above all else, Derrick can't let go of his vision of 'mission' for his wife who is clearly in distress. 

 

Then there's the fact they got married so quickly and had a baby right off. They didn't know each other enough, they didn't see eachother struggle in different situations enough, and they ended up as newlyweds, new parents and in a new country all at once. That's big for anyone, let alone two people who met such a short time ago, one of whom had the constant protection of a huge family from the outside world. That's before you add illness into the mix. I think alongside that Jill also misses the help and support, and praise, from a family that size. Whilst Derrick does praise her she's used to golden child treatment day after day with thanks and praise abounding. Looking after a small child and home alone after that is hard, and often thankless, and when you are reliant on that to feel worthy and like you are succeeding it can be draining to not have that and not feel you are doing a good enough job.

 

Derrick needs to get a real job in the US, get his wife a counsellor and have her close enough to family she doesn't have to feel so alone.

[apiscue]

The thing is derick want be a "missionary" and he dont care about if that can be a problem for his neurotic wife and jill looks more and more dead inside.

I hope they change the shower by a hose.

[VineHeart137]

45 minutes ago, socalrules said:

Honestly, I think Derrick is a wanderer. I don't think he wants to live anything close to a conventional lifestyle. He would be happy drifting from place to place without any real responsibilities. Realistically, he doesn't take care of the responsibilities he has now. He left the real work to Jim Bob and TLC. Jill was not raised to take care of her family in any other manner than cooking, cleaning, raising babies and obeying her husband. I don't think she wants to go back to CA but will bow to the whims of her loser husband, even if it is to her detriment.

I  wonder what spurred the changes we've seen in Derick. I mean he studied Accounting in school, which isn't usually the degree of choice for wanderers, or those who feel they are called to save the heathens.  He used to seem like a decent person with a stable professional job, so are we just seeing his true colors now, or was there some catalyst? Maybe he does have serious health problems and it's affecting him psychologically? It's just so strange to me.

[Screamapillar]

Jill tagging that Instagram photo of them eating that stupid sundae #HeKnowsHowToCheerMeUp is ominous. Especially since it was the day before they left for Central America. It's like, hey babe, I know I'm dragging your pregnant butt to a place you don't like, but here's an ice cream monstrosity for your troubles!

[danni9242]

I think Derrick said that it was after his father died he really dug into religion. So he chose his degree before he got 'the call'?

I think Derrick took his father's death so hard that after managing to be Pistol Pete to honour him he wanted to get as far away as possible and Nepal called. I think Derrick is a runner more than a wanderer and his mum getting sick was terrifying to him. Then the Joshley scandal broke and since running to Nepal 'worked' then why not run to CA with who he thought was his perfect follower missionary wife.

Something hard is going on or coming up and his solution is to go hide in the safehouse in CA with a wife who can't meet his needs and whose needs he can't meet and a child, if I'm brutally honest it seems he regrets having, or at least having so soon and now Jill is pregnant again and possibly heading to another very expensive birth. He's ill, stressed out, she's depressed and I think he just wants to bury his head in the sand and not have to be responsible.

[Fundie Bunny]

5 minutes ago, danni9242 said:

I think Derrick is a runner more than a wanderer and his mum getting sick was terrifying to him. Then the Joshley scandal broke and since running to Nepal 'worked' then why not run to CA with who he thought was his perfect follower missionary wife.

They were going to CA before the scandal broke. He wasn'te running away, it was a storyline for 19 kids and counting

[Stormy]

25 minutes ago, Screamapillar said:

Jill tagging that Instagram photo of them eating that stupid sundae #HeKnowsHowToCheerMeUp is ominous. Especially since it was the day before they left for Central America. It's like, hey babe, I know I'm dragging your pregnant butt to a place you don't like, but here's an ice cream monstrosity for your troubles!

Oh my God, I just now realized they're already on their way, if not there now. I was a bit confused by one person's comment about them not having the money ready and that was because I assumed they'd hype their trip for weeks and have the funds ready in time for takeoff. Aside from vaguely alluding to wanting to go back to CA from time to time, this specific trip is very short notice (compounded by flowery, vague objectives). I'm on board with assuming they're running from something, and CA's the name because they have connections.

[danni9242]

42 minutes ago, Fundie Bunny said:

They were going to CA before the scandal broke. He wasn'te running away, it was a storyline for 19 kids and counting

But hadn't they heard it might prior to it breaking?

Derrick quit Wallmart right after In Touch published the police reports.

They anounced their move/location officially just two days after TLC cancelled 19KAC.

[TeamDefraudinSquad]

A lot of times kids that grow up like Jill did, being very parentified, they are too worn out from being made to take on adult responsibilities so early in life to adult for themselves later on (didn't she say Joy was her buddy starting when she was just 7? That is sooo young!) It also means that while she was raising her siblings, no one was raising her, so guess who gets to pick up the slack for her childhood neglect now? Derrick does! And that would be hard to deal with...I imagine Derrick thought finding someone with his values would be enough to make their marriage work, but theres more to it than Jesus. Derrick may be realizing that resentment can pile up quickly if you're always pulling the slack for your spouse.

Even as a secular person, it took me 9 years of living on my own in another State, and away from my family, to piece together how my childhood home made me the person I am today. I wonder what will happen to their marriage when those realizations start coming out (if they come out at all, if it would even occur to them. Not so sure about that.)

[SassyPants]

9 hours ago, Kangaroo said:

I am genuinely worried about this decision for Jill and her unborn child. There are so, so many complications that are relatively easy to prevent or treat she is simply not going to have access to in Central America. Imagine if she went into labour prematurely before they could fly back for the birth.

These people value every life from conception, but they're willing to gamble that nothing will go wrong because 'God will protect them'. It that baby dies or suffers any complications from the birth, or heaven forbid Jill dies, how could they possibly live with the burden?  Jill has already had one difficult birth, as has her sister. And her mother also has had multiple births with complications. 

It's horrible to say, but a Duggar daughter or wife is going to suffer the loss of their child, their life, or both one day, because if these idiotic behaviours. How many women in developing nations would love to have medical care and safe birth options? How many of those mothers would still have their children? And how many mothers would not have to die because of medical intervention these people are talking for granted?

Jill and that baby are not some sort of Martyrs to be thrown down and die for their cause. Nor are her sisters, or future sisters-in-law or their children. They are humans with so many rights denied to them for no good reason, and it is disgraceful. 

 

 

I have always said that in the Duggar Family, the value of each kid is 0...the value is in the collective AND COUNTING. The most important and cherished baby is the next baby. It is the dilution factor in living color. They do not care- and the collateral damage of a dead mother or infant is nada, because Jesus and heaven and all that jazz.

Above all else, these folks worship and protect the almighty dollar.

[SuchABlessing]

You can throw caution into the wind and say God will protect you no matter what 

OR 

you can use the brains God gave you to NOT go to a Zika infested country while being 5 months pregnant with several health conditions. God helps those who help themselves. 

[SassyPants]

48 minutes ago, Fundie Bunny said:

They were going to CA before the scandal broke. He wasn'te running away, it was a storyline for 19 kids and counting

IIRC, they were purportedly planning on heading to Nepal (it was shortly after the large earthquake)...I think it was all a TLC storyline. After the baby was born, Derick had his paternity leave, jaw surgery and then promptly left WM- he's an opportunistic asshole too, and then BAM- Josh's molestation scandal and the show was canceled. I think SOS and the CA mission trip was a bailout from a family friend [Mike S.]...the Dillards were desperate and they were running too.