Peak Pennsylvania has been achieved

[47of74]

Peak Pennsylvania has been achieved

thesmokinggun.com/buster/buick/drunk-pittsburgh-lingerie-guy-261798

Quote

A man wearing “pink lingerie under his lowered sweatpants” was arrested yesterday after being found passed out with his penis in his hands inside a stolen Buick sedan that was stopped in the middle of a busy Pittsburgh intersection, police report.

Daniel Marchese, 51, was collared Monday afternoon by police who discovered him with "his pants lowered to the middle of his thighs." Two witnesses told cops that they spotted Marchese “masturbating and passed out behind the wheel of his vehicle.”

As reported by the Tribune-Review's Megan Guza, Marchese scuffled with officers who took him into custody. When asked if he had ID, Marchese repled, “How about fuck you, your mother’s a <racial slur> loving whore.” Things went downhill from there, according to a criminal complaint which does not further address Marchese’s pink lingerie.

Pictured above, Marchese was charged with an assortment of crimes, including aggravated assault, indecent exposure, drunk driving, receiving stolen property, firearms possession, and making terroristic threats.

 

[Four is Enough]

Wait. How can you be passed out and masturbating at the same time?

 

[church_of_dog]

5 minutes ago, Four is Enough said:

Wait. How can you be passed out and masturbating at the same time?

 

Reflexes?  

Maybe something like the dancing squid from @HerNameIsBuffy's recent "life recap" status update?

Sorry. 

[Chocolatedefrauded]

Is he originally from Florida, by any chance?

[47of74]

2 hours ago, Four is Enough said:

Wait. How can you be passed out and masturbating at the same time?

 

Sleep wanking?  After all there is such a thing as sleep walking, maybe this is the self pleasuring version of that.