Lori Alexander 15: Leaving A Fire With Her Makeup Bag

[Kelsey]

2 hours ago, Koala said:

In today's post, Lori "gives a voice" to one of her male readers (Trey).  Apparently, she thinks it's appropriate for this (supposedly) married man to be talking to her readers about sex. 

Trey:

With every post, Lori shows her readers who she truly is.

I am a bit surprised that the queen of "all it takes is 10 mins. and some lube", allowed Trey to prattle on about "quality sex".

I sincerely hope he is not a married man. He sounds like an asshole. I guess they all do though. How does he know how many women have been physically abused? It's way under reported and not talked about. I cannot stand these arrogant assholes and cannot imagine why any woman would give a man like this the "time of day." I would be so heartbroken and embarrassed if my husband announced in a public forum that other than sex, there is no reason for me to be around.

[Imrlgoddess]

Why are commenters referring to this and other posts as "articles"?  These aren't articles...they're blogs...opinions...delusional opinions at that.....

[feministxtian]

why do these people think that sex is the end-all and be-all of marriage? I mean...damn...there are a million reasons to get married...sex (for me) isn't even in the top 10. I can think of many reasons why I like being married to my husband. He puts up with me is #1...hell, there are times I don't like living with me...yet this silly man has put up with me for all these years. To be fair though, I've put up with him too. We've laughed, we've cried, we've fought, we've thought of throwing in the towel and splitting up but we didn't. We've been through hell in a handbasket...

These people have NO clue what marriage really is. 

[Chocolatedefrauded]

20 minutes ago, feministxtian said:

why do these people think that sex is the end-all and be-all of marriage? I mean...damn...there are a million reasons to get married...sex (for me) isn't even in the top 10. I can think of many reasons why I like being married to my husband....

These people have NO clue what marriage really is. 

Agreed. Sex is such a small part of marriage.  If that's all you have together, well, that's gonna be tough when the sex goes. As is does occasionally in long marriages!

Fundies seem to marry just to have sex. For the rest of us, sex is just an added bonus. To me the most important thing is respect and communication,  when it is hard. Sometimes it is brutally hard. 

[onemama]

26 minutes ago, feministxtian said:

why do these people think that sex is the end-all and be-all of marriage? I mean...damn...there are a million reasons to get married...sex (for me) isn't even in the top 10. I can think of many reasons why I like being married to my husband. He puts up with me is #1...hell, there are times I don't like living with me...yet this silly man has put up with me for all these years. To be fair though, I've put up with him too. We've laughed, we've cried, we've fought, we've thought of throwing in the towel and splitting up but we didn't. We've been through hell in a handbasket...

These people have NO clue what marriage really is. 

That's the sort of marriage I look up to, @feministxtian. The ones made out of real people who have learned (and admit to still be learning) how to live with the person they married.  

[Hane]

1 hour ago, Koala said:

I love that Lori tells her to "fix foods for him that will nourish his body".  This is probably Brittany's fault, naturally!

Ken has already said that he cooked his own meals, and we know that at least to some degree, that continues to this day.  In yesterdays video she said something like, "Ken just came down to fix his breakfast and I smiled at him".  A smile is Lori's big concession.

Maybe Brittany can just "nourish" her husband's body with a steady diet of salads and begrudging smiles.  Then she'd really be "learning" from The Godly Mentor.

Ben:

Yes, nothing says love like manipulating the shit out of each other.  Thanks Ben, Lori's got it covered.  She doesn't need any tips for manipulating motivating others.

She's already "motivated" Ken to let her stay home by sabotaging her own birth control.

Oh, FFS. Lori, the only reason my daughter exists is because I dragged her father to a physical. At age 29, he was so lethargic that I knew something was wrong. The doc checked his hormone levels and they were extremely low. And his sperm count was FOUR THOUSAND, when a normal count should be at least in the tens of millions. No, Lori, the hippie health food I was cooking back then in the '70s didn't do squat. The hormones the doc gave him did, though, and I got pregnant shortly afterwards.

[feministxtian]

6 minutes ago, Chocolatedefrauded said:

To me the most important thing is respect and communication,  when it is hard. Sometimes it is brutally hard. 

Especially when the only communication you want to have is with a frying pan...upside his head. 

Even after almost 20 years, we're still learning about each other...but we're also not the same people we were 20 years ago. It's a neverending journey and you have the choice of making it fun and exciting and joyful or nasty, ugly and horrid. The fundies see it as nasty, ugly and horrid. They're always talking about how marriage is "so hard"...well, yeah, it's hard at times...but if that's your entire marriage then you're married to the wrong person...I mean, we've had hard times in our marriage, times when I seriously thought of clubbing him over the head and leaving him in the desert...but...it passed (and I'm WAY too chicken anyway). There are times when I want to scream "LEAVE ME ALONE" when the closeness gets to be too much in the oversized closet we presently live in...but that passes too. 

And despite all that, I wouldn't trade anything for the times when he reaches across and rests his arm on my leg and says "I love you". The butt pats when he comes to bed...he thinks I'm sleeping but I know when he gets in bed...he pats my behind, kisses my cheek and says "i love you baby"...when I'm all curled up, hair all over and drooling in my sleep. 

Oh well...bitch don't deserve anything that good. 

[AlwaysDiscerning]

1 hour ago, Imrlgoddess said:

Why are commenters referring to this and other posts as "articles"?  These aren't articles...they're blogs...opinions...delusional opinions at that.....

Oh yeah that is a HUGE pet peeve of mine! Its a comment pasted in and presto--instant article! Its like her book. Just regurgitated blog posts and presto--- you have a book and are now an author!

28 minutes ago, Chocolatedefrauded said:

Fundies seem to marry just to have sex. 

Its true. Lori said its meaningless to find joy in marriage, so its only for sex then. You find joy in God! So, therefore if it wasn't for sex they all would never have to marry. 

[Jellybean]

1 hour ago, onemama said:

If a man doesn't want to have sex every time his wife is in the mood, he must be dealing with issues and you need to love him and support him. Things like disrespect or tiredness can affect his sex-drive.

If a woman doesn't want to have sex every time her husband does, she'd better get in the mood or she's in sin and delusional = probably on the freeway to hell. A woman's sex-drive is not affected by disrespect, lack of love or tiredness. Those are just excuses. 

Interestingly, Trey thinks men are controlled by their hormones and women by their will. How does that support their notion that men are more rational beings, not controlled by their emotions and should therefore do the leading?  

 

The hypocrisy takes my breath away. Every single time. 

It frustrates me that this 'mentoring' includes so little about cooperation between partners. People are all so different, and the way they feel about physical intimacy can vary for so many reasons. This man might have a naturally lower sex drive, or he could be unwell, stressed or tired. He might be worried about contraception (or lack thereof). He might be turned on by something more specific than the 'living breathing female' as promoted by Lori.

Clearly there won't be any of this from Lori, but I would love to encourage the worried wife to talk to her husband about this - ask questions and listen to the answers. If she wants sexual release for herself, she could try making it clear to her husband that she's not just asking for sex because she's trying to fulfil a perceived duty. She could also look into some of the many ways for solo pleasure. Would she enjoy more physical contact and intimacy with her partner without focusing solely on PIV intercourse? Massages, kissing, holding hands, cuddling, stroking, or taking a bath/shower together, for example. Does she just need reassurance that she is still loved and that her husband still finds her attractive?

Did Lori manage to blame this poor woman for anything? 

[AlwaysDiscerning]

A male reader:

" A man gives love to get sex a woman gives sex to receive love."

Its prostitution for them. Swap in money for love. So, a man's love is just to get something huh, how sweet. 

 

[lawfulevil]

Honestly seeing that Ken is having emotionally intimate texting relationships with "troubled young women" is all the confirmation I needed that he's a serial cheater- and that's probably why Lori is acting out with Trey and whoever else, because Ken's at least having an emotional affair (and given Ken's coldness towards Lori and Lori's distaste for marital relations, that probably stings more than a purely physical affair would).

It's not a near-stranger's place to stand in place of a therapist, Ken- I notice it's not LORI providing the "godly counsel" to the troubled young woman. But you know perfectly well that's gross, it's all part of the process-

1. Exchange way too much personal information way too fast so that the "friendship" feels much older and more intimate than it actually is (and yeah, discussing your deep-seated childhood issues with a work acquaintance is definitely a sign that this is going on). The more "secrets" the better.

2. Establish contrast- I'm not like all those people who mistreated you in the past, I'm a Really Fabulous Person.

3. Classic love bombing- flattery, gifts (M&Ms, anyone?), constant texting. Once the traumatic bonding process is complete and some part of the victim's identity depends on your continued positive perception of them...

4. Start changing the nature of the relationship. Use all those secrets you learned in step one- those are all buttons to push. When the victim does what you want, the affection continues. When the victim doesn't do what you want, become emotionally withdrawn, withholding, even cruel. Disappear long enough to leave them frantic. Blame them for your actions.

5. By now, the victim should be thoroughly convinced that the Prince Charming that was so wonderful to them was the "Real You" and your constant mood swings and shitty selfish behavior are something they're causing by failing to be perfect.

6. Once you've completely drained the victim and they cease to be of value to you, unceremoniously ditch them.

7. Rinse and repeat.

He tried at least 1-3 on our very own forum, and you could make an argument for 4. He was incredibly surprised when it didn't work- it probably almost always has in the past. The difference is that we already know what a piece of shit Ken is, and it doesn't work as well on people who can fact-check your bullshit.

Lori shows a lot of signs of the almost-completed process- Ken's keeping her around because she's still of use to him (having a Good Christian wife is part of his image management, and there's the ten minutes with lube part) but he emotionally discarded her long ago. She's still an awful person, don't get me wrong, but you can be a horrible person and a victim.

[December]

1 hour ago, Imrlgoddess said:

Why are commenters referring to this and other posts as "articles"?  These aren't articles...they're blogs...opinions...delusional opinions at that.....

 

Because to them it seems as legit as advice you'd get from a real article by an expert on the topic? 

15 minutes ago, AlwaysDiscerning said:

Its prostitution for them. Swap in money for love. So, a man's love is just to get something huh, how sweet. 

 

Something something sanctity of marriage... 

It's sad to see how some people have such pessimistic views of both genders. How bleak must it be to think all women are disinterested in sex and only do it because it's the only way to get affection, or that all men just want to get laid and will only dole out affection as an incentive/reward for it. Mutual respect, love and attraction is awesome! 

[jadis87]

What a horrid woman. What sucks too, is for people like myself, this makes you feel super shitty. I have a way higher sex drive than my husband, he's usually the one who turns me down for sex, I'm always up to have sex with him. People who think the way she must think that a woman who has a higher drive than her husband is undesirable or crazy.

[polecat]

Quote

With very, very few exceptions (rare health issues), if you are a woman who calls herself Godly and thinks she is following Jesus Christ in her life but withholding sex from your husband you are living in a delusional fantasy.

Rare? Rare exceptions? A little googling showed me a few medical issues that could interfere with a couple's sex life and possibly enforce abstinence. 

• Arthritis, which affects more than one out of five American adults
• Heart disease, which is the leading cause of death in the U.S. for men AND women
• Dementia, which affects more than 10 percent of those over 70
• Diabetes, which affects almost 30 million Americans
• Erectile dysfunction (oh wait, this only affects men, and I guess they get to turn down sex as much as they want, eh?)

And there are countless other issues that could affect sexuality as well, especially temporarily -- like pregnancy, surgery, health issues, menstruation (not everyone is comfortable with period sex), cramps, stomach viruses, migraines, colds, influenza, etc.

I have always put a premium on my physical relationship with my husband, and I would be devastated if something happened to curtail or end it. But. BUT. There is far more between us than a bed. If all you have going for you is your genitals, your marriage is worth less than the piece of paper it's printed on.

Basically, Trey, if you are that horny, you have a hand. Use it.

[louisa05]

I remember in my time in Christian school there was a strong emphasis that men /boys and women/girls could not be friends. Any interaction between a male and female was deemed sexual or potentially sexual. Even small children.

I was disciplined once for seeking out the advice of an older more experienced male colleague too often. I was a pretty innocent 23 yr old and found myself basically accused of wanting to steal the man from his wife. It was a horrifying experience.

That is where this kind of mindset ends up because there is just no comprehension of men and women having platonic relationships, even professionally.

[Terrie]

1 minute ago, louisa05 said:

I remember in my time in Christian school there was a strong emphasis that men /boys and women/girls could not be friends. Any interaction between a male and female was deemed sexual or potentially sexual. Even small children.

As bad as something were at the Christian school I went to, this was thankfully not one of its issue. It had plenty of its own issues, but I was allowed my mostly-male circle of friends without any complaints from teachers. 

[polecat]

Quote

“Most” men are driven to it by their hormones. “Most” women must often (out of obedience) choose to do it.

This isn't a great selling point.

And the complete ignorance re: women's bodies SCREAMS out their need for more sex ed. Or ANY sex ed. Trey and Lori. Listen up. Women have testosterone (no, really, they do), estrogen and progesterone, and every one of them plays a role in a woman's sexual desire and function. Our hormones drive us to crave sex, too, which is one reason women often (not always but often) experience such a big dip in desire post-menopause: because our hormones drop and level off. (But that doesn't mean we have to live with it, either -- lots of options for addressing it for women who want to).

 

[AlwaysDiscerning]

Lori says she has NO hormones because her pituitary is almost dead. Can that be possible to have NO hormones?? 

[Koala]

Reader:

Quote

February 21, 2017 at 1:24 pm

I hope this doesn’t come off as a negative comment. Though I really appreciate the men’s input here, sometimes I feel uncomfortable discussing some topics in mixed company.

Naturally, The Modest and Discreet Mentor dismisses her concerns without so much as a second thought.

Lori Alexander:

Quote

That men like sex and want it often? I believe it’s good to hear what men have to say about what pleases them and how their minds think. It would probably be awkward if we were in a room all together discussing this but we’re not and no specifics are being given. It’s more like we’re simply reading what other men’s views are on this important topic. It’s no different than reading it in a book since none of know each other. I am sure some preachers have preached something similar to Trey’s comments.

See?  It's okay for married women to discuss their sex lives with married men, as long as they do it online!  And besides, it's not like everyone knows each other!  It's totally okay to talk to strangers about sex!  

Seriously though, what the fuck??  She claims to be modest and discreet, but she wants to talk to men online about sex?  Ummm, no thank you.  I would be absolutely mortified.  Never in a million years...

[polecat]

1 hour ago, AlwaysDiscerning said:

Lori says she has NO hormones because her pituitary is almost dead. Can that be possible to have NO hormones?? 

 

 

No. Not unless she has no pancreas, no adrenal glands, no pineal gland, no thymus, no fat (and yeah, I know, she prides herself on being fat-free, but she's got fat like everyone else). It's true that the pituitary controls several endocrine glands, but it doesn't produce ALL the hormones in her body.

But hey, she was a teacher!

 

eta: some info I found http://www.dartmouth-hitchcock.org/endo/pituitary_hormone_therapy.html

I'm no doctor, and I don't play one online. 

 

[TeddyBonkers]

I can't keep up with the upvotes I want to give to the wonderful people refuting Lori's latest bullshit (or Trey's, if we want to be specific).

"Marriage is hard!" cry the fundies. Well, no doi, it's hard when you don't talk to each other about what you are actually feeling. When the woman is supposed to suppress all negative emotions, put out sex on demand with a smile (Lori's words), and "win him without a word" it is hard as shit. 

For a time when we first got married, I tried to just "yes dear" Mr. Bonkers. He's more in line with fundie beliefs than I am, and I wanted to make him happy. Know what he wanted? He wanted to know what I wanted. I mattered enough in his life to warrant an opinion and not to be a docile sex toy. 

FFS, I hope that Trey isn't married. I'd chip in to buy him a fleshlight, in order that no woman ever be subjected to marrying such a misogynistic asshole.

 

[Granwych]

3 hours ago, AlwaysDiscerning said:

Lori says she has NO hormones because her pituitary is almost dead. Can that be possible to have NO hormones?? 

Well, she certainly lacks in the brain cell count, and that doesn't stop her blathering.   Seriously, I'll ask my dr about bodily functions and low hormonal levels.

[desertvixen]

Quote

Because Lori has never had good sex in her life. She has no idea what it is like to get fucked long and hard by a strong man who actually loves you. Absolutely. No. Idea.  

@AlwaysDiscerning  - Bingo! 

Or one who knows how to put his tongue to good use, because he understands that foreplay can be just as much fun as the "important" part.

Also, if you can't give more detailed directions than "up there", you don't need to be advising people on sexual health.

[Koala]

Lori's really hooking up with the cream of the crop.

Dave:

Quote

 I would never tie myself down to a woman if it were not for the expectation of sex

Dave also co-signed with Lori that it's totally okay for married men and women to talk to each other about their sex lives. It's all cool, as long as it's online.

 

 

[feministxtian]

Speaking of marriages and shit...tonight, on my way home from work my clutch took a shit. My hubs rode to my rescue, called the tow truck for me (I don't have a cell phone right now) came, picked me up, took me to dinner and by the time we were done, the tow truck was there. He paid for the tow, and talked me down from being unbelievably pissed and threatening to sell my car, blow it up, telling me don't worry you have my truck, we'll get your car fixed, I love you...

I can't see that shit happening with Loriken.