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Jinger and Jeremy - Social Media Silence


choralcrusader8613

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8 minutes ago, Gillyweed said:

She had two sets of twins, so 19-2=17, and then two miscarriages 17+2=19

I shouldn't try to do math so early in the morning!  Thanks for setting me straight.

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If Jinger and Jeremy somehow managed to have a few private conversations during their courtship in which they came to a mutual decision to use some form of family planning, I will be very pleasantly surprised. But I think that's a total pipe dream. If Jeremy specifically sought out a Duggar girl, pursued her, and deceived her the entire time as to his intentions re: family planning, and then informed her once they were married that, surprise, they'd actually going against everything she believes in and everything he assured her that he believed in, too, then he's an absolutely terrible human being.

The number of siblings these guys have means nothing. Their education means nothing. The fact that their mom wears pants means nothing. The only thing that matters is that they chose Duggars.

Ben's choice is understandable. He was raised the same way, of course as a 17-year-old he was attracted to a pretty girl who shared his upbringing and belief system. 

Derick has less of an excuse, but I do think he was adrift and looking for meaning and stability in his life, and was seduced by the happy image of perfection the Duggars projected. Then here's Jim Bob Duggar offering up his pretty, nice daughter, and she seems to share his love for missions. He probably thought he hit the jackpot.

Jeremy. I cannot think of an excuse for Jeremy. He wasn't raised fundie. He wasn't a young, awkward, somewhat lost and vulnerable boy like Derick. Jeremy was a man with a plan. His soccer career fizzled out. No problem, he'll seek validation and power through a career in ministry instead. Now here comes Ben Seewald - oh, he knows this guy, he married a Duggar. Hmmm... wonder if there are any single Duggar girls left? 

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9 minutes ago, singsingsing said:

If Jinger and Jeremy somehow managed to have a few private conversations during their courtship in which they came to a mutual decision to use some form of family planning, I will be very pleasantly surprised. But I think that's a total pipe dream. If Jeremy specifically sought out a Duggar girl, pursued her, and deceived her the entire time as to his intentions re: family planning, and then informed her once they were married that, surprise, they'd actually going against everything she believes in and everything he assured her that he believed in, too, then he's an absolutely terrible human being.

The number of siblings these guys have means nothing. Their education means nothing. The fact that their mom wears pants means nothing. The only thing that matters is that they chose Duggars.

Ben's choice is understandable. He was raised the same way, of course as a 17-year-old he was attracted to a pretty girl who shared his upbringing and belief system. 

Derick has less of an excuse, but I do think he was adrift and looking for meaning and stability in his life, and was seduced by the happy image of perfection the Duggars projected. Then here's Jim Bob Duggar offering up his pretty, nice daughter, and she seems to share his love for missions. He probably thought he hit the jackpot.

Jeremy. I cannot think of an excuse for Jeremy. He wasn't raised fundie. He wasn't a young, awkward, somewhat lost and vulnerable boy like Derick. Jeremy was a man with a plan. His soccer career fizzled out. No problem, he'll seek validation and power through a career in ministry instead. Now here comes Ben Seewald - oh, he knows this guy, he married a Duggar. Hmmm... wonder if there are any single Duggar girls left? 

 

I thought Jinger's face (during the Town Hall thing they had at the end of the last season), when Derick asked them about kids, said a lot.  I don't think she's down with having children immediately.

 

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35 minutes ago, singsingsing said:

I cannot think of an excuse for Jeremy. He wasn't raised fundie. He wasn't a young, awkward, somewhat lost and vulnerable boy like Derick. Jeremy was a man with a plan. His soccer career fizzled out. No problem, he'll seek validation and power through a career in ministry instead. Now here comes Ben Seewald - oh, he knows this guy, he married a Duggar. Hmmm... wonder if there are any single Duggar girls left? 

I thought Jeremy was raised fundie, albeit not in one of the more extreme sects like ATI. I recall that his father is a fundie lite minister who has done sermons on the importance of "Biblical gender roles" and the like.

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2 minutes ago, SamiKatz said:

I thought Jinger's face (during the Town Hall thing they had at the end of the last season), when Derick asked them about kids, said a lot.  I don't think she's down with having children immediately.

 

The look might have had more to do with being asked invasive questions by her freaky brother-in-law.

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26 minutes ago, SamiKatz said:

I thought Jinger's face (during the Town Hall thing they had at the end of the last season), when Derick asked them about kids, said a lot.  I don't think she's down with having children immediately.

 

Or she was embarrassed that her brother-in-law was asking her when she was going to get pregnant before she was even married and before she was even allowed to imagine having sex.

I don't really know what else to say. I'm just going to sit here and wait for the inevitable, "Oh no, I was so sure they were going to be different" when Jinger announces her pregnancy within the next 1-6 months.

 

@Cleopatra7 I guess it goes to what your definition of 'fundie' is. He was definitely raised conservative Christian. I wouldn't call it fundamentalist (at the very least, not in the same category as the Duggars), but ymmv. 

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1 hour ago, singsingsing said:

 

Jeremy. I cannot think of an excuse for Jeremy. He wasn't raised fundie. He wasn't a young, awkward, somewhat lost and vulnerable boy like Derick. Jeremy was a man with a plan. His soccer career fizzled out. No problem, he'll seek validation and power through a career in ministry instead. Now here comes Ben Seewald - oh, he knows this guy, he married a Duggar. Hmmm... wonder if there are any single Duggar girls left? 

I have posted this thought before. Evangelicals are not always comfortable with single pastors. I know of young men who couldn't get a job as a pastor in that world due to being single. 

Jeremy was probably feeling pressure to be a more legitimate pastor by having a wife. Some of that pressure was probably very direct--as in congregants telling him, "you need to get married". 

He could have got married the more normal way in American culture by dating until he found a compatible person, investing a year or two in the relationship and having an engagement of 6 mths to a year. That could have meant a long period of still being an unmarried pastor which probably made it difficult to grow his congregation. 

Or, he could go find a fundie family that believes in quick courtship and bring home a wife in less than six months thus satisfying his congregation and becoming a more legitimate pastor in the eyes of his world. And bonus points for being able to preach about purity and no kisses before marriage. 

 

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1 hour ago, singsingsing said:

If Jeremy sought out a Duggar girl and deceived her as to his intentions re: family planning, then informed her they'd actually going against everything she believes in and he assured her that he believed in, too, he's a terrible human being.

We can't be sure Jinger believes exactly what her parents do about family planning. She has never really stated that on the show. All the older kids have probably said they want to "let God" plan their families, but that could mean different things to different people. 

And oops I forgot about the twins so yes it was 19 pregnancies. I can't believe JB (and Gil Bates) let their wives go through with that. Shows a total disregard for her health and life! Also since they are against the pill due to their (erroneous) belief that it can cause a miscarriage, why aren't they against deliberately starting high-risk pregnancies at an advanced age, since that can CERTAINLY cause a miscarriage! Smh

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I totally agree that we can't know whether Jinger has the same beliefs about family planning as her parents. I sincerely hope, for her own sake, that she doesn't. But we can guess what's more likely.

Maybe I'm just jaded and cynical, because I've seen this over and over again with almost every fundie couple. The gleeful conviction that they MUST be different, then the inevitable disappointment when they aren't.

Derick was pulling the wool over Jim Bob's eyes to save Jill from fundamentalism. Jessa just wanted to get out of the house and have sex, but now of course she was going to track her cycle to avoid pregnancy or convince Ben to use birth control. Same with the Bateses, Chad Paine was a saint who was definitely not going to let his wife get pregnant again anytime soon knowing how dangerous it was for her. Alyssa was going to wait five years before having kids. Now it's Michael and Brandon - even though they've said straight out that they're having trouble getting pregnant, apparently they're using birth control because Brandon doesn't want too many kids.

It's all fantasy, and for now I see no reason to think for a second that Jinger and Jeremy will be any different. I hope they prove me wrong.

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Definately agree on Jinger probably announcing within the next 6 months.

The 2017 announcements will probably look like this:

in spring:

Jinger announcing her first pregnancy

Joseph announcing his courtship with Kendra/Lauren

The Duggars announcing Josh's and Anna's 5th child

 

in summer:

Jill giving birth and announcing the boy's name etc....

 

in fall:

Joy announcing engagement (probably on her 20th birthday)

 

winter/end of the year:

Jessa announcing third pregnancy

Jinger giving birth to her first child on her birthday (dec 21st)

 

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14 hours ago, HarleyQuinn said:

Jeremy is the scarier of all the Duggar in laws (though Derick could give him a run for his money) 

He looks controlling and he wanted Jinger because she's a push over and easy to mold. He probably loved how she fawns over him now. He married a Duggar for that reason. 

If Trump's America taught us anything, it's that normal looking people can be disgusting and have shitty beliefs too.

Time will tell. I by far though Ben was scarier than Derick at first. Ben seemed like a bible thumping stalker child. Which he sort of was but he has shown commitment to Jessa, willingness to pursue some sort of education, and a surprising open mindness in terms of racial and social issues that gives me hope that his beliefs could still evolve. Not saying he'll be liberal or anything but possibly he may actually be willing to help others in useful ways in service of Christ. And while I sense that Jessa and his relationship isn't as hot as it was I don't sense tension or anger between them like I do with Jill and Derick. It feels healthier and less forced. 

May first Derick presented as reasonable well educated grounded level headed and worldly.  Not so much any more. His more extreme sides are showing and I'm pretty sure he applied for a wife like he was submitting a resume because that's how he does things. But that's not how lasting relationships work, especially ones under the extreme stressors these two have been under. I also get the sense that Derick likes to be in control where as Ben is much more laid back.

So I'm trying to be optimistic about JinJer but of course that doesn't mean anything. We will see his true colors with time. 

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I think Jinger and Jeremy will be different, but that doesn't give me hope that she would be freed or something. I think she might wear pants down the line, enjoy a glass of wine once and a while, and maybe practice some form of family planning (My guess is 5-7 kids for her). But some things will stay the same. They will still be intolerant of other religions. They will still be homophobic and transphobic. They will still be sexist. They will still promote a system that oppresses and infantilizes women, covers up sexual assault, provides no help to victims, and is just toxic.

This is what I think is most dangerous about Jeremy. He's well-spoken, he's attractive, he's more "normal" on the outside. But on the inside, he's no better than the Duggars. He takes fundamentalism ant wraps it in a pretty bow, making it more palatable to the American people. He makes it approachable. Acceptable. He makes it okay to be sexist and homophobic and all that. We can't laugh at him because he's not a freak show. We can't brush him off because he doesn't go on crazy twitter rants. He's an ideal.

So yeah, I can see Jinger's life changing in superficial ways, but the core of their beliefs will remain rotten.

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5 hours ago, VeganCupcake said:

Jeremy could at least do the pullout or even just claim he's "not in the mood" at the 2 week mark. Jinger might not catch on and even if she did, I doubt she would argue him. I guess JB could confront him but J&J are not dependent on JB like the others so he can't threaten them into having kids. 

I really doubt Derick or Ben WANTS to be quiverfull, but their wives are calling the shots on baby making. Jill/Jessa are obsessed with racing each other and I'm sure they made their "terms and conditions" known to their husbands before getting married. Plus Ben just seems like a total pushover that obeys Jessa's orders. Jeremy has the upper hand over Jinger and seems to call the shots. I mean his dad is a pastor yet he only has 2 kids so clearly the fam doesn't believe that failing to crank out kids at a furious pace is sinful. I doubt J thinks his parents are sinners for not having a mega family. 

So true. Derick/Ben both seemed totally smitten during their courtships. Jeremy seems to view his marriage as a business merger. Some of his over the top affection seems a little fake imo. 

Ben by the far is the least creepy acting husband. He is becoming my pet fundy. I hate his wrathful instagram sermons but at least he stays away from super offensive stuff like attacking transgenders and the Women's March. And he seems less racist than most of these fundies as well. Yes he kind of acts like a culture vulture, but I think he truly admires Flame. He also seems to treat Jessa really well and seems easygoing/slow to anger. However my opinion of him will drastically lower if he doesn't eventually put his foot down and stop the endless births, for Jessa's health and safety! 

Jim Bob is downright abusive for allowing Michelle to endanger her life by getting pregnant TWENTY-ONE times! He not only enabled her, but also convinced her that it was her DUTY. So wrong. Michelle seems mentally ill for real. 

I'm holding out on my opinion of Jeremy until we see what he and Jinger do, the  speculation has been  totally off on the BIL's so far. I don't have high hopes for them like her getting to go to college and get a job but it would be nice if she got to be married for a few years before kids came along and then they only have 3 or 4 kids. IMO that is the best any of these girls one can hope for.

I'm not sure who has the mental illness here boob or DQ or if it is both of them. Did Boob drive the baby madness by getting Michelle pregnant so many times or was it Michelle the whole time, either way they are feeding off of each other and red states in America being what they are, the authorities left them to their "Godly" ways. 

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I have said it before but I expect that no more than 1 or 2 or the Duggars will come even close to their parents and I think no one is going to surpass them. I think most of the ones that marry will have large but not super large families. I will make the prediction that the largest family will be in the range of 13-15 and most will have 5-8 kids. A couple siblings will not marry or marry very late is also my prediction. Out of the ones not married now I think Jana and/or JD will stay single at least to 35 plus. 

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I really don't think we can judge what Jinger and Jeremy will do just because she gets preganant soon after marriage. 

My other halfs mother and father got married young and had one child straight away. It was 10 years before they had their second. And a further 7 before they had their third. Some people just want a baby straight away. 

Also my aunt had 2 close in age, like 17 months apart and then didn't have her third for 9 years after the 2nd. 

Having babies early on doesn't determine anything. I'll start questioning when they're on their third pregnancy in 3 years 

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10 minutes ago, BlessaYourHeart said:

I really don't think we can judge what Jinger and Jeremy will do just because she gets preganant soon after marriage. 

My other halfs mother and father got married young and had one child straight away. It was 10 years before they had their second. And a further 7 before they had their third. Some people just want a baby straight away. 

Also my aunt had 2 close in age, like 17 months apart and then didn't have her third for 9 years after the 2nd. 

Having babies early on doesn't determine anything. I'll start questioning when they're on their third pregnancy in 3 years 

Agree on that point. I know plenty of people who have 1-3 kids quite quickly, then drop of don't have any. Fundies are obviously a special case, but I don't think the first two kids are much of an indication. Especially for Jill and Jessa, who have only boys and are running out of sisters to help. 

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12 minutes ago, BlessaYourHeart said:

I really don't think we can judge what Jinger and Jeremy will do just because she gets preganant soon after marriage. 

My other halfs mother and father got married young and had one child straight away. It was 10 years before they had their second. And a further 7 before they had their third. Some people just want a baby straight away. 

Also my aunt had 2 close in age, like 17 months apart and then didn't have her third for 9 years after the 2nd. 

Having babies early on doesn't determine anything. I'll start questioning when they're on their third pregnancy in 3 years 

Were they fundamentalists? Did they come from a family where they had been indoctrinated in an extreme right-wing Christian ideology and taught that birth control was evil and akin to murder? Were they part of a community which encouraged bearing as many children as possible in order to orchestrate a societal and governmental takeover to effectively turn the United States into a theocracy?

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To Jeremy complaining about "kids having kids": what a hypocrite!  That's what happens if pro-birthers like him and the Duggars have their way and Roe v. Wade is overtured: teenage girls who get pregnant and are forced to have the baby will be "kids having kids"!  Not everyone is comfortable with giving their baby away to a righteous fundie family after birth (as much as the Duggars and their ilk would want that), and will instead raise the baby while still a child themselves.  These people infuriate me.

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And Jeremy how do you know that they were kids? Maybe these people just looked younger than they were. You don't know that they were actually kids. I was 22 and people though that I looked 15 or 16. I wasn't, so if I had a child at that time and was married with a stable job, Jeremy would have judged me for being a kid? Fuck off Jeremy! 

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1 hour ago, singsingsing said:

Were they fundamentalists? Did they come from a family where they had been indoctrinated in an extreme right-wing Christian ideology and taught that birth control was evil and akin to murder? Were they part of a community which encouraged bearing as many children as possible in order to orchestrate a societal and governmental takeover to effectively turn the United States into a theocracy?

Yes. My fiancé's parents are hard line conservative presbyterians who are completely against birth control and completely anti abortion.  His mother especially and her sister is the same. They came from a family where their mother left it up to god (right wing conservative christians) but had issues so only had 2 girls.  

Other halfs mother used natural family planning ('after much prayer') because she realised that they needed to live within their means and couldn't afford to have loads of kids. 

We're all British though so I doubt they're trying to take over the US :pb_lol:

Further insight; my boyfriend and I aren't allowed to be alone in his house. It's a fight to be able to take a separate car to events. We aren't allowed to stay in the same room over night. 

Thankfully, my mum is liberalish and gives us space in my house and tells his mum he sleeps in the spare room (even though he doesn't) when he's at my house. 

My mum and aunt came from a family of 10 (well 11 really but a twin died shortly after birth). Very right wing Protestant and very much leave the family size to god. 

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1 minute ago, BlessaYourHeart said:

Yes. My fiancé's parent are hard line conservative presbyterians who are completely against birth control and completely anti abortion. P His mother especially and her sister is the same. They came from a family where their mother left it up to god but had issues so only had 2 girls.  

Other halfs mother used natural family planning ('after much prayer') because she realised that they needed to live within their means and couldn't afford to have loads of kids. 

We're all British though so I doubt they're trying to take over the US :pb_lol:

Further insight; my boyfriend and I aren't allowed to be alone in his house. It's a fight to be able to take a separate car to events. We aren't allowed to stay in the same room over night. 

Thankfully, my mum is liberalish and gives us space in my house and tells his mum he sleeps in the spare room (even though he doesn't) when he's at my house. 

My mum and aunt came from a family of 10 (well 11 really but a twin died shortly after birth). Very right wing Protestant and very much leave the family size to god. 

I'm super interested in British fundies! They're so much rarer than the U.S. variety, but they're out there! It must be a lot harder to find marriage partners who share their beliefs in Britain, though? Or maybe they're just less picky? 

I really hope that Jinger and Jeremy end up like your other half's mother and 'after much prayer' decide to use birth control, use NFP, practice periodic abstinence, whatever. I have no issue with people not using birth control if that's their personal choice, but unfortunately with the Duggar kids, it's really not a free choice. There's going to be an incredible amount of psychological baggage to sort through for any of them who do decide to use birth control or even fertility awareness methods. And then the constant pressure and guilt from the rest of the family. Ugh.

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My parents skin doctor had 3 kids very quickly.  The main reason why she even had a 3rd I think is to go for a boy (and she got 1). The are all in their 20's now. Part of the reason why she had them so quickly was she was building a practice and was able to take a break to have them. 

She was always a very involved parent (way more then Michelle Duggar) mostly because their home her office and where they went to school (private Jewish Day School) are a very shot distance from each other.  

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1 minute ago, singsingsing said:

I'm super interested in British fundies! They're so much rarer than the U.S. variety, but they're out there! It must be a lot harder to find marriage partners who share their beliefs in Britain, though? Or maybe they're just less picky? 

I really hope that Jinger and Jeremy end up like your other half's mother and 'after much prayer' decide to use birth control, use NFP, practice periodic abstinence, whatever. I have no issue with people not using birth control if that's their personal choice, but unfortunately with the Duggar kids, it's really not a free choice. There's going to be an incredible amount of psychological baggage to sort through for any of them who do decide to use birth control or even fertility awareness methods. And then the constant pressure and guilt from the rest of the family. Ugh.

Northern Ireland and Scotland have their fair share on home grown fundies called Free Presbyterians - speaking from experience of living with them in a uni flat here in Northern Ireland - they are scarily right-wing hard line. Women wear skirts and hats to church. No trousers or uncovered heads! They also have strict modesty standards and have been more and more opening their own faith schools in church grounds. We also have had a huge growth in Seventh Day Adventists all across the U.K. The church near where I live went up almost over night! It was a field on Monday and a church on Wednesday night! 

Conservative right wing presbyterians are very common where I live in NI but hide themselves well. It's only when you get talking to one that you realise that they are there. Thankfully, much to his mothers distaste, my other half is more liberal Presbyterian! He had no problem with me being on BC, only had a problem when I went off it :pb_lol: (the pill just did not agree with my body!) 

many fundies here end up marrying people they've grown up with in the church. 

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