Shannon: another adoption crazy.

[Terrie]

I think the rhetoric of the "rescue adoption" movement is a huge problem. Look at some of the groups out there promoting international adoption, especially of teens and special needs kids. Prospective adoptive parents are pressured with stories of how kids will age out if something isn't done immediately and that if they are allowed to age out, they will die. Families are encouraged to "rescue" multiple kids at once, with the advice that it can save on travel money. "Love" and "faith" are considered substitutes for actual tools for dealing with potential issues.

But, again, the anger here is directed at children victimized by this system, because it's easy. Parents are disappointed when their hero fantasies don't become reality. And these kids are further victimized by parents who are more interested in getting a pat on the back then the hard work of helping these kids, who end up further victimized or even dead in the worst cases.

[Toothfairy]

2 hours ago, crawfishgirl said:

Sounds like something from a dating site.  And of course everything on a dating site is true..  

This just makes me sad.  Sad that it got to this point, sad that she is so incapable if seeing her own mistakes as well, and sad that she is not trying to just do her best instead of expecting sympathy from strangers on the internet.  I truly think that these people don't do any research before they move forward with such a life-altering decision as adoption, and that they knowingly put blinders on and turn off their common sense while going through the process.

Nope. The church encourages Christians to adopt. Especially international. Because  Jesus. Rehoming is a big thing. Especially for international adoptions

[Anonymousguest]

It's really sad. Is it Steven Curtis Chapman who does a big adoption thing? My friend who is an adoption counselor advises churches not to do those because people get excited, go adopt children and then end up with broken adoptions because they don't have the support.

There is a need for *something* there are orphanages all over the world full of children not receiving the care they need, who will end up on the street or in slavery if something doesn't happen. But they are already broken, abused, neglected, have never had normal social contract, etc. Moving to a new country, new culture, new language, and leaving everything behind is not easy for well grounded adults. Imagine how hard that is for a 13 yr old with no productive coping skills. Good intentions can't overcome those odds. 

And while I can understand the anger felt toward the child, my own teens certainly have had me fuming over much smaller things, and I gave birth to then and had then when they were still cute and love them unconditionally, these ladies seem to have completely lost perspective that the children are victims here. Yes, the foreign adoption agencies and all involved are corrupt, and the adoptive parents are being played, but it's the kids who are the victims. 

[VaSportsMom]

What a sanctimonious bitch. If I didn't know that was a grown ass woman ranting about a child I would swear that it was a tween girl ranting about the slutty cheerleader that stole her bf and ruined her life forever.

[desertvixen]

@laPapessaGiovanna, it was SO refreshing to learn that Russian letters only make one sound.  Instead of E making a bunch of different sounds, they have a bunch of different Es.  And no silent letters! 

[freedom_for_all]

Does anyone know of any organizations working to change the adoption situation, advocating for the kids in these situation, or anything of the like? I'd love to get involved and help fix the system in some way. I'm not a lawyer or a social worker but I am great at administrative things and the phones.

[older than allosaurs]

2 hours ago, freedom_for_all said:

Does anyone know of any organizations working to change the adoption situation, advocating for the kids in these situation, or anything of the like? I'd love to get involved and help fix the system in some way. I'm not a lawyer or a social worker but I am great at administrative things and the phones.

Two groups I think usually have their heads on straight are the Donaldson Adoption Institute and NACAC (North American Council on Adoptable Children). NACAC advocates mostly for domestic adoption from foster care and/or special needs, but they have links to some international groups.

If you haven't read the Reuters investigative series on adoption rehoming, and you are ready for some serious outrage, it also has some followup on which states have taken action to outlaw rehoming. http://www.reuters.com/investigates/adoption/#article/part1

Perhaps some legislator in pushing for legislation in your state.  I think the lack of centralized statistics and information on many aspects of adoption in the U.S. is one factor that lets these horrific scenarios keep repeating.

 

[Fundiewonder]

There's a Facebook group called Second Chance adoption that has profiles of adopted kids who need new homes because their families no longer want to deal with them. About half the profiles say something like " The family would like the new adoptive parents to be evangelical Christians."  It's like they think they can still get some points with Jesus for that.

 

https://www.facebook.com/secondchanceadoptions/?ref=ts&fref=ts

[heidi]

Shannon claims that the US Attorney in Detroit is going to change the case from civil to criminal. She claims they say that it was fraud.  

[Mercer]

See, this is why I don't believe her even though Z apparently exists.

It's just not plausible to me that a US Attorney would go after a teenager with obvious severe mental illness for supposedly committing fraud, when fraud in adoption situations is often almost impossible to prove anyway. Fraud goes to intentions, not just actions, and it can be very difficult in adoption-related cases to prove that even an adult acted maliciously rather than ignorantly... let alone a teenager with psychological problems and a language barrier.

It would have to be demonstrated that an institutionalized Ukrainian child understood the United States immigration system well enough to exploit it, and understood the concept of a functional family system well enough to comprehend that he was taking advantage of it to the detriment of the family in question. That would be almost impossible to prove. It's basically his word against theirs, and manipulative teenage behavior does not automatically constitute criminal fraud.

Another reason for my skepticism is that if this case is truly proceeding as she says, it would quite literally change decades of adoption law by having the sending country retaining primarily responsibility and having the right to terminate a completed adoption, which never happens, and going after an adoptee for adoption fraud, which is a concept that is essentially unheard of - but rather than lawyers poised to find out how this precedent is going to change their legal practices, reporters trying to be the first to tell this public about this major development, and adoption advocacy groups trying to jump in on one side or the other to influence the ruling... we're hearing about it only on one random and unverified blog. Oh, and the blogger needs some money to fund the whole thing...

Yeah. Still not buying it.

[Carm_88]

I think Shannon is going to try and get money, for said lawyer to get rid of the evil Ukrainian. Poor Z.  

[heidi]

I wonder if she's going to scam her readers for money (she already has a fundraising page online) to pay for a "lawyer" and then pocket the money and rehome Z through one of those shady facebook groups. 

That poor, poor child. Shannon is clearly mentally deranged.

Edit: How is that Facebook page allowed the exist? How is it not human trafficking?

[Mercer]

Shannon is actually already fundraising to cover the costs of all her hardships. I don't want to give her the site traffic, but if you search for her online it's very easy to find.

[Carm_88]

Just now, Mercer said:

Shannon is actually already fundraising to cover the costs of all her hardships. I don't want to give her the site traffic, but if you search for her online it's very easy to find.

Of course she is. 

[Terrie]

3 minutes ago, Mercer said:

Shannon is actually already fundraising to cover the costs of all her hardships. I don't want to give her the site traffic, but if you search for her online it's very easy to find.

That's after she fundraised the adoption costs.

I think it's important to put something into perspective here. Z was 13 when he visited the US and was first introduced to the family. He was brought to the US 8 months after that. Nine months after arriving is when this lady says things fell apart. So the "criminal" she says is so evil he needs to be shipped back to Ukraine and have his citizenship revoked was, at the oldest, 15 at the end of his "fraud". A freshman in high school. She's basically saying a junior high age child scammed her family to get into the US. Bull. Shit. 

[Lurky]

I just can't believe a child who was adopted at 13/4 can be prosecuted for fraud.  If she was going after the Ukrainian orphanage, that would have to be through the Ukrainian courts - but even then, her whole "I did not research"/not bothering to learn the language etc etc would make it insanely hard.

So yeah, this sounds like exaggeration to me.  But what kind of awful person would even fantasise about all of this?  And I know I've said this before, but why didn't social services get involved?  It's just too much.

[Black Aliss]

27 minutes ago, Mercer said:

Shannon is actually already fundraising to cover the costs of all her hardships. I don't want to give her the site traffic, but if you search for her online it's very easy to find.

Does anyone else smell a RRat?

[Anonymousguest]

The time line sounds about right for behavior problems to arise. The child most likely has RAD. The first 6-9m were a honeymoon period and as he got more comfortable the problems started. They should have anticipated that and had him in therapy/family therapy from the beginning. 

It does seem completely crazy that other adults wouldnt see what is going on, and that the boy is a victim, and clearly suffering from mental illness.if anyone should be charged with fraud it should be the adoption agency. Where are they in this? 

[Soulhuntress]

11 hours ago, heidi said:

Shannon claims that the US Attorney in Detroit is going to change the case from civil to criminal. She claims they say that it was fraud.  

She is being charged with fraud?  More likely scenario

[Jess]

Even if he was charged with fraud. I can't see that being sent to adult court. He was 13 when the alleged fraud happened. It would almost certainly be held in family court. I don't see a family court judge finding the kid guilty. Someone probably told her they "would look into it" and she just assumes they will file charges.

[laPapessaGiovanna]

13 hours ago, Terrie said:

That's after she fundraised the adoption costs.

I think it's important to put something into perspective here. Z was 13 when he visited the US and was first introduced to the family. He was brought to the US 8 months after that. Nine months after arriving is when this lady says things fell apart. So the "criminal" she says is so evil he needs to be shipped back to Ukraine and have his citizenship revoked was, at the oldest, 15 at the end of his "fraud". A freshman in high school. She's basically saying a junior high age child scammed her family to get into the US. Bull. Shit. 

Is this even contempkated by the legal system? I know that the US didn't sign most of the international treaties meant to protect minors, but if he has lost Ukrainian citizenship in the adoption process, it would be dramatic to deprive him of US citizenship when the international community is doing everything to avoid statelessness for minors.

[AuLait]

On 2/9/2017 at 8:04 PM, Fundiewonder said:

There's a Facebook group called Second Chance adoption that has profiles of adopted kids who need new homes because their families no longer want to deal with them. About half the profiles say something like " The family would like the new adoptive parents to be evangelical Christians."  It's like they think they can still get some points with Jesus for that.

 

https://www.facebook.com/secondchanceadoptions/?ref=ts&fref=ts

Wow. And my cousin and a friend are part of that group which is even more wow

[FeministShrew]

21 hours ago, Mercer said:

See, this is why I don't believe her even though Z apparently exists.

Yeah. Still not buying it.

I agree. I think she's manufacturing legal drama for attention & money. 
Shannon reminds me of an ex-friend of mine who was going through a divorce. She posted publicly on Facebook (and also in a private FB group message) that her soon-to-be ex had been abusing her & their kids for years. She claimed he was being investigated by the police as well as DSS. She convinced almost all of our circle of friends to block him, because we were outraged at her stories and believed her completely. A few days later she posted that he had been arrested and was looking at a long prison sentence.

Except there was no record of his arrest, either in our city/county or anywhere. She posted that he had been denied bail. But bail proceedings are all public record here, and all court dockets, even for family court, are listed online. He never showed up anywhere. Not on the current or former prisoner list at any local detention facility, not on any court docket anywhere. 
Add to that the fact that I ran into him at a restaurant while she was insisting he was in jail.  She said he was fired from his job, but my company works with his & nope, he's still there. When I asked her privately what was going on she blocked my phone number & blocked me on FB.  Meanwhile, I've heard she's still continuing her imaginary saga and insists he's in jail. But as of last week he & his new girlfriend were on vacation in D.C.

It angers me that she's slandering & vilifying someone,  just like Shannon seems to be doing to Z. I hope he gets proper counselling and an education and makes a good life for himself here, and I hope he's eventually able to sponsor his bio mom. 
 

 

[Mercer]

9 hours ago, laPapessaGiovanna said:

Is this even contempkated by the legal system? I know that the US didn't sign most of the international treaties meant to protect minors, but if he has lost Ukrainian citizenship in the adoption process, it would be dramatic to deprive him of US citizenship when the international community is doing everything to avoid statelessness for minors.

I doubt it. Internationally adopted minors rarely retain dual citizenship, and as you say, the legal system is not going to create a stateless child if it can be avoided - which it can, because the US has a juvenile justice system so there is no need to palm him back off on Ukraine. Shannon keeps saying that the Ukrainian courts want him back, but that seems unlikely and counter to how adoption law actually works. 

The only way I can actually see this happening is if Shannon and her husband did not file the necessary legal paperwork to have Z made a US citizen upon adoption. There have been situations where adoptees have been threatened with deportation because they are not in fact US citizens due to their adoptive parents' mistakes. That said, I have never heard of that happening to a minor child - it typically involves a young adult adoptee - and the rest of the situation still wouldn't fit Shannon's claims if that were the case.

[Fundiewonder]

Shannon is fantasizing if she thinks a 13 year old orphan can be prosecuted for fraud. She could allege that the agency in the Ukraine presented fraudulent details about the kid, but even that would be hard to prove.  

i think adoption agencies should be required to report the number of disruptions that have occurred with kids they placed.  If they're not willing to report, there should be some central tracking system. Any agencies that have more than one disruptions on the books each year should either be banned from placing kids or forced to take corrective action.

Some of these parents remind me of brides who just think about the wedding day. They want the attention, the lovely pictures, the excitement.  They don't think about what comes next, nor do they consider that they're undertaking what is supposed to be a lifelong commitment.