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The Putman Family (cult) on TLC


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Dandruff

I don't get a cult vibe from these folks.  I think they're just wrapped up in each other's BS to the point where it owns them. 

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The daughter and her second-year-resident husband (the one who changed his last name to Putman) want to move closer to the hospital where he works because it's such a long commute from the "commune." 

So much WTFery with this show I don't even know where to start. --The dad and mom (especially the dad) are in charge now.  I wonder what will happen after they pass.  Would one brother become the

How does TLC find these people?

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wandering woman
7 hours ago, Dandruff said:

I don't get a cult vibe from these folks.  I think they're just wrapped up in each other's BS to the point where it owns them. 

Nope . . . they're not a cult.  They are a bunch of needy, weird, out of touch people.  I bet they don't have many friends.  Grandpa would be unhappy with anyone spending time with people who are not in the family.

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Iokaste

I get wanting to live close to your family, but why not simply get houses in the same neighbourhood or buy a big plot of land and have seperate livingquarters but a "common-room building" in the middle with a huge kitchen/dining room, shared launderette, storage rooms and other convieniences? 

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JermajestyDuggar
8 hours ago, season of life said:

The stuff concerning the single banking account and family decisions sounds super weird. I would not want to share a whole house with my own family and my parents AND my sisters. NO.

The son-in-law changing his last name doesn't bother me. Women do it every day, so if he wants to, more power to him.

I am surprised they got all the spouses on board with living in a shared home. Privacy would be a major thing for me.

The only thing I find odd about the name changing is it seems unnecessary. 

A.) he's a dr and drs almost always keep the name they started with (even when female drs get married) because their name is a large part of their working identity. But I didn't watch the episode so maybe he changed his name before med school?

B.) the wife and children could all have the last name of Putman. Lots of people keep their name after marriage and plenty of children have their mother's last name instead of their father's. 

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BullyJBG

Interesting. If this is a series, I do wonder how often generation 2 and 3 see their in-laws/other grandparents. In the article it does say the grandkids go to school, so that's one step of "normal". I guess it's yet to be seen if they're allowed to have friends there; like can they come over, or can they go over to their places. Do they do home-church too?

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iweartanktops
21 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

That sounds like an enormous waste of money. What happens when these adult kids get sick of the bullshit and all decide to move out? Who the fuck. Is going to buy that place? No one that's who. If they were smart they would build a few different normal sized houses on one large plot of land. Your resale value will be much better. 

I'm guessing that won't be a problem since they all have the same bank account. Daddy probably has control of every dime. 

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Carm_88
I'm guessing that won't be a problem since they all have the same bank account. Daddy probably has control of every dime. 

Well considering that their cards have limits and if they are going over there has to be a talk...not gonna be a problem at all!
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iweartanktops
22 minutes ago, Carm_88 said:


Well considering that their cards have limits and if they are going over there has to be a talk...not gonna be a problem at all!

Seriously? WOW. I haven't watched, but I've been keeping up with the thread in shock. 

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BackseatMom

I am watching this right now, and all I can say is holy shit!

Daddy, can we please move nearer to the hospital for a little bit so my husband doesn't die on the road? I mean, if that's okay with you.

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Buzzard
3 hours ago, BackseatMom said:

I am watching this right now, and all I can say is holy shit!

Daddy, can we please move nearer to the hospital for a little bit so my husband doesn't die on the road? I mean, if that's okay with you.

What she said was "I want you to pray about this" or "can you pray about this."  It was a very weird way to bring it up considering they're GROWN and this is something that is seriously impacting his life and safety.  There is nothing to "pray" about - Dad, we're moving out so that your SON IN LAW doesnt get in another car accident and kill himself/someone else etc.

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BackseatMom

Which makes it even weirder, right?

I have been thinking about this train wreck of a family all day. I really hope TLC churns out a few seasons.

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Palimpsest
On 1/18/2017 at 6:48 AM, wandering woman said:

There are ten adults and fifteen kids living there.  I was appalled that an adult had to ask permission to leave and cried through the whole thing.

Oh, please don't cry.  Remember this is UnReality TV and a lot of stuff is staged for maximum drama.  

The family does sound extraordinarily enmeshed though.  I don't think a 1:1.5 (10 adults to 15 kids) is at all bad as an adult child ratio.  Can this family keep the kids clean, fed, educated and safe - if they can't they are idle as shit.

7 hours ago, iweartanktops said:

I'm guessing that won't be a problem since they all have the same bank account. Daddy probably has control of every dime. 

Or they have formed a corporation for tax reasons.  Now Daddy may be Papa Hale reincarnated but I'm not going there quite yet. Smoke and mirrors.

1 minute ago, BackseatMom said:

Which makes it even weirder, right?

I have been thinking about this train wreck of a family all day. I really hope TLC churns out a few seasons.

No, no!  Get thee behind me, Satan!  Please never hope that TLC exploits more children for profit!  

I'm not watching but in what state are the repulsive Putnams?  I have an itch to examine the Child Labor Laws there.  

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Dandruff
8 hours ago, BullyJBG said:

In the article it does say the grandkids go to school, so that's one step of "normal".

School may be normal, but I wonder whether the grandkids are normal at school.  Wouldn't surprise me if they ask to go to the bathroom often - because it's available - kind of like kids with a history of malnutrition sometimes hoarding food.

 

 

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Palimpsest
1 hour ago, MarblesMom said:

@Palimpsest they are in Michigan.

Thanks.  Not a lawyer but follow this stuff.

Note: Federal child labor laws do not cover children in the performing arts or in reality TV.  It is up to individual states to enact "Coogan-type" legislation to protect and compensate children (by establishing trust funds to protect 15 - 20% of their earnings) working in entertainment.  TLC has been famously known to exploit loopholes in state laws.  

My quick look at the MI Child Labor Laws says that the minors in performing arts *should* have work permits (to protect the numbers of hours worked and compensation) but Reality TV is not covered.  

I'll check some more but don't assume these children in MI have any protections under Child Labor Laws at the moment or are being compensated at all.  Do not assume that any Coogan-type trust exists.  These kids are working (and Reality TV is work) for nothing and there are no safeguards for the number of hours worked.

Yeah, I'll dig some more, but it stinks.  As usual.

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allthegoodnamesrgone
12 hours ago, Iokaste said:

I get wanting to live close to your family, but why not simply get houses in the same neighbourhood or buy a big plot of land and have seperate livingquarters but a "common-room building" in the middle with a huge kitchen/dining room, shared launderette, storage rooms and other convieniences? 

A family I know at church, Mom & Dad owned about 10 acres and had 4 kids  As each child married they were given  2 acres of land,  they all built houses on their acres,  They live like "normal" people each separate bank accounts, jobs, rules,  They are all just share a driveway.  

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Jana814
9 minutes ago, allthegoodnamesrgone said:

A family I know at church, Mom & Dad owned about 10 acres and had 4 kids  As each child married they were given  2 acres of land,  they all built houses on their acres,  They live like "normal" people each separate bank accounts, jobs, rules,  They are all just share a driveway.  

That's great!!  What a wonderful thing to do. 

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RosyDaisy
A family I know at church, Mom & Dad owned about 10 acres and had 4 kids  As each child married they were given  2 acres of land,  they all built houses on their acres,  They live like "normal" people each separate bank accounts, jobs, rules,  They are all just share a driveway.  

That's what my grandfather did for me and my sister. We're just normal people with normal lives. Everybody is independent.
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ophelia
7 hours ago, allthegoodnamesrgone said:

A family I know at church, Mom & Dad owned about 10 acres and had 4 kids  As each child married they were given  2 acres of land,  they all built houses on their acres,  They live like "normal" people each separate bank accounts, jobs, rules,  They are all just share a driveway.  

I'd love to live like that one day. Not only with my family, but also some close friends.

 

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Lizzybet
13 hours ago, Palimpsest said:

Oh, please don't cry.  Remember this is UnReality TV and a lot of stuff is staged for maximum drama.  

 

I think the poster was referring to the adult child crying throughout because of how sad they felt having to even consider leaving the family nest.

There was a LOT of angst!

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Palimpsest
11 minutes ago, Lizzybet said:

I think the poster was referring to the adult child crying throughout because of how sad they felt having to even consider leaving the family nest.

There was a LOT of angst!

Thanks for the clarification.  I misread. :)

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smittykins
On 1/18/2017 at 9:25 PM, Audrey2 said:

It does sound like the way the Putmans live is quite out there. However, in some families and some parts of the United States, multigenerational families and homes are planned for. This way, as parents age, they can age at home, with their children and grandchildren. In some cases, the grandparents are able to provide childcare as well. It's not extremely common, but I believe I've read books (albeit fiction) using examples of this. In this case, there is an area/floor for grandparents, and space for the family as well. 

 

If it's done in a normal and healthy way (it was this way for generations), I don't have a problem with it. The Putmans, however, don't do this normally or healthily.

I know the Amish build additions called "granddaddy houses" for elderly relatives, since they believe in taking care of their own.

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One of those articles talked about the children devouring fresh fruit and nuts, because they hardly every get them, because they're soooo expensive to buy in bulk...  But that seems really weird, given that at least 2 or the adults have professional jobs.  I don't understand!  And why can't eg one parent do shopping for things like fruit and treats, while another does the shopping for bread and eggs?   If they're planning to build a house with 18 bathrooms, surely they can afford fresh fruit for the children?

(I guess the 18-bed house could re-sell as a hotel, maybe?)

Do they really put all the kids in 2 bedrooms, like dorms, rather than live as family units?  That's so strange, and I'm please that it sounds like at least one of the families is escaping from this oddness.

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calimojo

I don't think the daughter and her husband will really leave.   That whole storyline seemed designed to create drama for the show. 

But,  if it was true, what stood out for me was at the end,  when the matriarch says in her TH that she felt bad they were thinking of moving out because then her daughter would be all alone and not know what to do.  I am sorry, but that seriously is a PARENTING FAIL, if your nearly 30 year old daughter is so hobbled by enmeshment that she can't function if she is on her own for a limited amount of time on her own.  The truth is that it is probably going to be really hard for that daughter if she does move out.  She has a few little ones and one on the way and she has probably never parented her children without the help of other adults. 

 

I don't think there is anything inherently wrong with multi-generational living.  But I think it seemed so off with this family because it was more about control than it was anything else.  The one bank account and allowances on a credit card for example was part of what makes it seem so dysfunctional.  And the kids all living dorms style in bedrooms away from their own family units.  I guess I could see older kids in that set up, but it feels sad to me that little ones would be expected to bed down in the dorm and not with their own family somehow. 

 

I googled the Dr son and Dr SIL.  The Dr son has decent ratings as a doctor, but I can't help but think that the show could impact his medical practice.  It says he practices in Saginaw which is also a pretty long drive from where they live.  His brothers were really rude to him.  And,  all things considered, he probably contributes a decent amount of money to the house bank account. 

 

One thing that is good though is they let the kids go to school and they seem to value higher education.  I wonder if the kids who went to college actually went away to school, or if they lived at home and commuted. 

 

Dad's a nut job with serious unresolved attachment issues from his childhood. 

 

ANd they seemed oddly way too frank about sex for a first episode.  The first married son kept talking about how he is always in the mood but his wife isn't because their bedroom is near one of the busy bathrooms.  Then the wives in a group folding clothes were talking about sex and multitasking and the one DIL bragged about how she came down the stairs one time and bragged how she learned to multitask, which apparently meant she fit in a quickie with her husband while doing some sort of household chore. 

 

Very odd.

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ChunkyBarbie

I tuned into this show because I thought it was about polygamists. The Putmans make the Brown family seem oh so normal.  I think TLC has become scandal mongers, wtf, there is no way this family is normal. Either, TLC is deliberately pursuing shit-shows or they seriously have the worst background checkers ever. 

 

Also. Who has ever heard of a 6,500+ square foot house having only TWO bathrooms?  Did Mike Fucking-Brady design and build it?  I call BS. 

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