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Lori Alexander 14: Environmental Notebook Doodles & Self-Righteous Husband Bashing


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If Lori hadn't spent the better part of the morning arguing and trying to have the last word, she might have had time to toss that Norwex cloth in the wash and vacuum her damn carpet.

But, what do I know.  It's not like I wrote the following quote about softness and femininity in women:

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She doesn't argue her point over and over but allows the other person to have the last word. 

:pb_rollseyes:  I guess it's different when The Godly Mentor does it.

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annnddd the last comment in that diatribe is indeed gone.  It ends nicely with Lori's "I've been mentoring women for over 13 years" bs.  

I've noticed of late the Jilly hasn't been commenting on her posts...I wonder if she disagreed and got run off.....

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@Imrlgoddess- I haven't seen Jilly post since Lori asked for the names of the women whose husbands wanted them to teach.

In other news, what is the deal with this video?   I can't tell if the video is lagging, or if she is even more incoherent than usual.  

 

*side note* Is that low cut top supposed to be an example of what not to wear?

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@Koala the video seems fine to me, I watched it here and then on IG itself...I just notice her speech pattern.  The way she speaks and enunciates reminds me a little bit of Captain Kirk.  It's almost as if she's actively fighting a sibilant S, maybe a result of where her tumor was?

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I am actually beginning to wonder if it is lagging on my end.  Something is definitely off.  

In other news, there's the infamous Norwex cloth.

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Early in my marriage to Ex-Mr.-Hane #2, he was offered a job that would have required us to move.  I told him that I would only agree to move if I could be a SAHM. I had just gotten vesting rights at my job (seniority, retirement fund, etc.),  my parents and sisters took care of my daughter, and I had a lifelong network of friends. He balked because he didn't want to be the sole support of the family.

My hard-line position eventually paid off for me: he kept losing jobs and hopping from job to job every couple of years, while I built up a healthy retirement fund. If I'd followed The Godly Mentor's advice, I have no doubt that we would both have been stranded out of state, broke and unemployed. 

When the marriage started to crash and burn (in my perspective, not his), one day he said, "I wonder where we'll wing up living when we retire." I immediately picked that up as a red flag: a classic abuse move is to isolate the victim from her family and friends. 

I'll take my spidey sense over Lori's bloviations any day.

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Lori's newest notebook doodle is all about married women who 'are often shocked and upset with an unplanned pregnancy as if this is not a normal consequence of having sex. The likely outcome of having sex is supposed to be babies! For some reason too many have forgotten this and falsely believe birth control is 100% effective.'

Stop right there, Lori. You are the very last person who should bring up birth control, no matter what the context. :my_dodgy:

 

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10 minutes ago, Loveday said:

Lori's newest notebook doodle is all about married women who 'are often shocked and upset with an unplanned pregnancy as if this is not a normal consequence of having sex. The likely outcome of having sex is supposed to be babies! For some reason too many have forgotten this and falsely believe birth control is 100% effective.'

Stop right there, Lori. You are the very last person who should bring up birth control, no matter what the context. :my_dodgy:

 

It's particularly ineffective when you poke holes in it.  

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17 minutes ago, Loveday said:

Lori's newest notebook doodle is all about married women who 'are often shocked and upset with an unplanned pregnancy as if this is not a normal consequence of having sex. The likely outcome of having sex is supposed to be babies! For some reason too many have forgotten this and falsely believe birth control is 100% effective.'

Stop right there, Lori. You are the very last person who should bring up birth control, no matter what the context. :my_dodgy:

 

 

Or maybe this was yet another passive-aggressive swipe.

Only this time it was aimed towards a certain husband who was shocked by an unplanned pregnancy because HE assumed that birth control would be enough to prevent a pregnancy. And it probably would have been had his crafty (read: deceitful, conniving, manipulative) wife hadn't destroyed it so that she could get pregnant against his will.

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The video both in IG and youtube played alright on my laptop. Lori just sounds off as always IMO.  I really think that we see what happens when women do not exercise their brains.  Maybe she is trying to sound submissive, but comes across as a bit dim. 

I also think that she's taking jabs at her husband. I wonder what Ken did to deserve her recent passive-aggressive jab. I suppose that he's going to have more big salads, for whatever he did.

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Mr. Xtian moved TWICE for me. TWICE! Ok...so maybe the second move wasn't that great an idea but...all in all, it's been a good thing in many ways, even with the shit that went down. 

I am currently suffering with the galloping crud. I got coughs, I got snot, I got the pukes and the runs. My sweet husband has made it his mission to take care of me. He went out and got me dayquil an nyquil, he got me my favorite cereal. He's offering to take me to the urgent care, etc. 

He even went to his doctor's appointment alone which is a big deal...due to his medical history, he always wants me to go with him...but I was too sick to MOVE and he had to go alone. I'm pretty proud that he did it. 

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3 hours ago, Koala said:

If Lori hadn't spent the better part of the morning arguing and trying to have the last word, she might have had time to toss that Norwex cloth in the wash and vacuum her damn carpet.

But, what do I know.  It's not like I wrote the following quote about softness and femininity in women:

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She doesn't argue her point over and over but allows the other person to have the last word. 

:pb_rollseyes:  I guess it's different when The Godly Mentor does it.

It all works out as long as the last word is, "You are so right, Lori, thank you!"

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1 hour ago, Loveday said:

Lori's newest notebook doodle is all about married women who 'are often shocked and upset with an unplanned pregnancy as if this is not a normal consequence of having sex. The likely outcome of having sex is supposed to be babies! For some reason too many have forgotten this and falsely believe birth control is 100% effective.'

Stop right there, Lori. You are the very last person who should bring up birth control, no matter what the context. :my_dodgy:

 

Every now and then Lori inspires me. She makes me want to write a book about adult relationships, based on everything my parents and grandparents taught me, plus my own experiences. Alas, it'd be a pretty short book. It'd boil down to "don't be a dick".

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4 hours ago, Koala said:

@Imrlgoddess- I haven't seen Jilly post since Lori asked for the names of the women whose husbands wanted them to teach.

In other news, what is the deal with this video?   I can't tell if the video is lagging, or if she is even more incoherent than usual.  

 

*side note* Is that low cut top supposed to be an example of what not to wear?

It's not lagging here either, but she does sound off. The way she mixes up words, sunny/rainy, warm/white...

And it really really annoys me that the windows reflects in her glasses. 

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Well that was a bit pointless, wasn't it? "I'm gonna share which washing products I use, and I use this stuff that I make, but I'm not going to tell you what's in it because I have no idea what's in it, so, but yeah, you guys all should use this amazing product that I use, it's really great because I have a top loader. "

 

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I have to admit, I love my Norwex cloths. They can't be beat, in my opinion, for cleaning and wiping up, doing mirrors/windows, polishing granite and porcelain. BUT, mine get laundered after EVERY use. I can't imagine just "rinsing (them) in hot water". EEEWWWWW!!! 

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Lori:

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 I have been mentoring women for over 13 years now and often women will use their feelings and emotions to manipulate their husbands to do what they want instead of obeying their husbands as God commands.

I am honestly beginning to think that Lori's real objection is to feelings and emotions.  She's prattled on and on about being emotionless, and I think she's telling the truth.  I think that's what allows her to do the things she does.  Her combination of complete lack of feelings for others/emotions and a strong desire to control, make for the dangerous advice she gives out daily.

She thinks her sabotaging her birth control is a "funny story" <---her exact words, but she shrieks with indignation at the thought that another woman might express her objections to moving, and even worse, that her husband might listen.

I think she gets some sick satisfaction from controlling other women by telling them they must push aside all feelings and emotions and become robots.  I think it pleases her when she hears about women in desperately unhappy situations (remember the reader who asked for prayer, and Lori's response was that Christ wants us to suffer?). She even makes up silly (totally non-Biblical) rules.  An example: If a wife has an issue/complaint, she may speak to her husband about it once.  No more.  <---Lori made that rule up.  You will find it nowhere in scripture.

In any case, her readership is dropping off.  Lots of people who used to comment are gone.

This comment was left on her Facebook today:

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 Depression is a devastating medical illness just like cancer or diabetes. It is NOT mere sadness, emotional manipulation, or a bad attitude and when you talk about it like it is, you are potentially hurting a lot of people. Please, everyone, if you are going to speak about mental illness--educate yourselves first.

People are starting to see her for who she is.

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I went over to her blog and read the "moving with your husband" post.  I don't think Lori gives much thought to what she posts.  Just this one story is so full of contradictions and silly statements!

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 I honestly cried the first two months of living here only because I wouldn’t let go of thinking about what I lost back at home. I was being pretty selfish.

 

 

 

Why selfish? How about homesick?

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 I would never leave where I am. I don’t want to go back.

I’m so thankful God made my husband the head of our home. 

 

 

So, what if your husband feels called to move on somewhere else or go back to where you came from?   By the way, your husband is called the head of you, his wife, not the head of your home. 

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 While I was fighting God on this move, my husband was obeying Him. Had it been left to me, we would still be back in our old home state and I wouldn’t have ever met the wonderful people and the rich gospel-filled church we go to now. I’m thankful my husband listened to God and not me.

I'm glad it all worked out well for you. Would you still be singing the praises of husband-headship and husband ignoring his wife if your fears had materialized? Because sometimes they do. 

I know a woman who followed her husband, who also claimed to be hearing God, to another country and another continent.  There she became homeless and unemployed, with 5 kids. She continued to follow her husband into one disaster after another. They are now separated. 

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Look at Sarah. God told Abraham, “Go forth from your country, and from your relatives and from your father’s house, to the land which I will show you” (Genesis 12:1) and Sarah followed. 

Yes, Sarai followed (she became Sarah later).  It may be worth noting that Abraham was 75 and Sarai was in her 60s. I doubt they had just married a year or two earlier.  Would she have left as a newlywed? We don't know. 

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I, too, had hard regrets about how I behave in certain areas the 9 first years of our marriage, 

10 years after we marry, my husband had the desire to serve God in Mexico. When he first told me about this, I decided to follow him everywhere on the earth… (if you read my reply to HappyHomemakeri in this post, you will read that I wrongly behave the first 9 years of our marriage). So in 2010, we moved from our peaceful Quebec to Mexico, in a highly dangerous city (Torreon). That’s when God profoundly impress in my heart that He is with me everyday until the end (Matt. 28.20). And it was then that I realized that our real home is where we are together, my husband and I

 

What if it took you 10 years to learn to trust your husband and God enough to make such a huge move and do so with confidence?   Why beat yourself over your head for not being instantly willing to move several thousand miles away from everything you know, to a country where they don't speak your language, with a person you don't know all that well yet?  

Then another commenter posts this: 

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Where you go, I will go. Where you lodge, I will lodge. Your people will be my people. Your God will be my God.

What? That was Ruth's vow to Naomi, not a wedding vow!   Sheesh! Abigail didn't go where her husband went, she went behind his back and saved their people. She blatantly disobeyed her "lord", calling him a fool!

Sapphira went along with her husband and lied to the Holy Spirit. Had she told the truth, thus outing her husband's lie, when the apostles asked, she would have lived. 

A reader asks:

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Perhaps you can advise me on a friend’s situation. Her husband wants to move, and she’d be fine with it, except for one thing. The new job offers higher status and more opportunity, but less pay. That, combined with the cost of the move, means my friend will have to return to the workforce (she has small kids who will go to daycare).

For this reason alone, she opposes the move. She love being at home.

Lori answers:

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It’s a hard one but her husband is her head and leader of the family so she must follow his lead and pray to the Lord asking Him for wisdom and making a way for her to be able to be home or even make money from home. With Him ALL things are possible!

Just like you did, Lori, when you put a hole in your diaphragm! Hahaha! Wasn't that fun? Getting your way? 

Conclusion:

For Lori, everything is black and white. There's no need for a journey, you should automatically trust your husband and God and follow your husband, regardless of how you feel about his decision. Forget about needing time to build trust. 

Lori has no business counseling. If her live counseling is anything like her written stuff, she's not even actually counseling, she's just dishing out orders. To do what she herself didn't do! 

Counseling involves listening to people even if you don't agree with them and helping them see for themselves what is holding them back, what the real problems are, what they need to work on.  You need to let go of your desire to control the outcome and let them arrive at their own conclusions.  See, a woman who doesn't want to move with her husband has reasons and fears that you don't give a damn about. You are a cruel, heartless, spoiled old woman, Lori. Shut up.

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I think she has cognitive problems... That video about the cleaning products is just so random and incoherent... I mean, she says she's gonna share which cleaning products she uses but she ends up not sharing any information that is useful to anybody, she says she doesn't remember what all goes in the powder and doesn't really even mention a name for the stuff in the video.  What about planning? It's like she just started the camera and began rambling. If anybody else was going to make a video about a product they use and they had problems telling you anything about it off the top of their head they'd look it up beforehand.

 

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Reader:

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I think that a couple should try the move, but if the wife ends up hating it, then the husband should be willing to move back.

Lori:

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No, a job and providing is more important than a wife's happiness 

Reader:

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The Transformed Wife No, a good job can be found anywhere.

(I disagree with this assertion, but for the sake of argument, let's go with it)

Lori:

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 No, a good job can't be found anywhere for all men. 

"A good job can't be found..."

Why not???  When widows and single moms tell Lori they have to work to feed their children and put a roof over their heads, Lori always tells them that they can just get one of those lucrative work from home jobs.  She further asserts that God owns everything, so they should just trust him.

Why couldn't a man just get one of the work from home jobs and avoid the move?  If it'll pay to feed/house/clothe a woman and her children, then surely it will feed a man and his family. After all, God has commanded that he provide, and what God commands he provides.  He owns everything anyway, so why worry?

It's a win win the way I see it.  

Husband fulfills God's command to provide (and never has to leave the comfort of his home...better that way...no breathing all the "feminist air").  No need to move.

Problem solved.  See how well Lori's advice works? 

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Today the Discreet and Modest Mentor wants to talk to her readers about sex...again.  Mostly she wants to talk about how wives aren't "giving it" to their husbands.

She starts off by breaking one of the unwritten (and perhaps written) rules of mentoring- You don't blab to the internet about the private affairs of the person you are mentoring:

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Ken is mentoring a man whose wife hasn’t given him sex for over six month. 

She goes on to let her readers in on a secret.  The main reason men marry:

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The main reason men marry is for sex and a lot of it.

The rest of the post is a compilation of posts by men claiming to be "sex starved".

Lori concludes:

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Stop depriving your husband of what he enjoys most.

*gag*

I have never encountered a person who could make sex seem so cheap and dirty.  

The wife marries for money, the husband marries for sex.  Disgusting.

Prepare for an onslaught of comments from Lori's male readers (namely, Dave and Earl).

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1 hour ago, Koala said:

The wife marries for money, the husband marries for sex.  Disgusting.

She makes marriage sound like prostitution. 

7 hours ago, onemama said:

Where you go, I will go. Where you lodge, I will lodge. Your people will be my people. Your God will be my God.

I wrote a response to the reader who posted this. It's gone, of course.  Why would Lori want to check and see if that vow is even a marriage vow? It supports her teaching, so who cares?

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Reader:

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A quote from the post: "The main reason men marry is for sex and a lot of it"

I agree that sex is an important part of a relationship. However, the main reason people marry is not sex (yes, people, because women also enjoy sex; there are also women who are deprived of sex by their husbands). 

People marry because they found a person who they love, with who they enjoy spending their time with, with whom they can see themselves have and raise children, and ultimately, grow old with.

If sex would be the main reason, people would not marry, there are plenty of women and men who have premarital sex.

Awaiting Lori's eloquent reply.  Probably something like, 

"Nuh uh, an honest man will tell you that all he really wants is a naked wife who smiles a lot."

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Out of every single post about wives not giving much or any sex to their husbands, not once, not once has anyone ever asked why. Why doesn't she want to have sex with her husband? If she used to have frequent sex, what changed? Why can't the man have a conversation with his wife about what's going on and both their needs? If she has lost her libido, that's a discussion she needs to have with her doctor. If she's too exhausted, they can discuss what to do about that, if anything. Perhaps he could help her more around the house or could he could just hire a housekeeper, right Lori? 

None of these posts ever involve couples sitting down and talking about their issues like adults. It's always about passive aggressive attitudes and doing what he wants no matter what the concerns or issues are. It's just all rather childish. In her mentoring, it's ALWAYS the woman doing wrong. ALWAYS. Which shows she is a terrible mentor. The saying there's two sides to every story and the truth is somewhere in the middle is true. Automatically blaming one side all the time proves she very clearly doesn't know what she's doing and has no business mentoring anyone whatsoever. 

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