Awkward Christian Music Album Covers

[PennySycamore]

@GreyhoundFan,  the station you worked for sounds a lot like WNCW in Spindale, NC.  It plays an eclectic mix of music as well including an afternoon of bluegrass on Saturdays, the Grateful Dead Hour and Dead Air on Wednesday evenings and Frank on Friday at noon on Fridays where they pay muscly Frank Zappa for an hour.  It's my favorite station!  You never know quite what you hear on WNCW.

@MayMay1123,  I imagine that the women teased the absolute hell out of their hair.  They didn't do a little gentle backcombing, but hardcore teasing.  I've never understood why you'd deliberately tangle your hair on purpose.

[Bad Wolf]

20 hours ago, Exposedknees said:

Ouch. The green, the green. My eyes hurt.

[mango_fandango]

Those sashes on the women's dresses draw attention to their boobs somewhat. How defrauding. 

[older than allosaurs]

7 hours ago, GreyhoundFan said:

I'm a fan of the Louvin Brothers as well. Many, many, many moons ago, I worked at a public radio station in a small city smack dab in the middle of a huge rural area. Our station played a wide variety of music, including classical, jazz, big band, blues, soul, and bluegrass. When I was promoted from a student employee to a full staff member, I had to do some of the on-air bluegrass shows. It was quite a change from the classical and jazz that I knew well. I always made sure I played a couple of Louvin Brothers songs. My favorite is their version of "Knee Deep in Loving You", which was made popular by Dave & Sugar.

You are my new favorite DJ. I would loan you my Stanley Brothers vinyl if you went back to that line of work.

[GreyhoundFan]

2 hours ago, older than allosaurs said:

You are my new favorite DJ. I would loan you my Stanley Brothers vinyl if you went back to that line of work.

I wish I could, I loved that job. Getting to sit around all day, playing music and talking with listeners, what a joy. We had a huge library, including lots of Stanley Brothers. The station was just a few hours away from the Carter Family Fold, so there was a deep love of Bluegrass in that area. One of the regular DJs was a local Bluegrass celebrity who know all the big names personally. He is the one who introduced me to Allison Krauss, or as he always called her, MISS Allison Krauss.

Unfortunately, there is no stability in radio, so people are laid off with numbing regularity, and I needed to find a more stable paycheck.

[Howl]

18 hours ago, older than allosaurs said:

OK--this doesn't make the cut for weirdness, but I actually know Claudette. She was a bus driver for our district and would yodel to entertain the kids. She's a very nice woman, and tough as nails. I went to a Christmas concert at her church once, and there was a near blizzard. Half the choir didn't come, the audience was equally sparse, and she strode in from her farm, 8 months pregnant, and just killed the tenor part of the Hallelujah Chorus.

The part the does make the cut for weirdness is that her sister was Margo St. James who founded COYOTE, a union for sex workers, and by all accounts the two of them got along great.

This may be one of the most wonderful posts on FJ evah!  Eleventy!!!

[CyborgKin]

I like me some Bryan Duncan.  That said...

 

[WhatWouldJohnCrichtonDo?]

@CyborgKin--That video always makes me laugh! 

[CyborgKin]

Meanwhile, the Mormons get an awesome dancing violinist.  Oh well, no one promised life would be fair.

[Leftitinmysnood]

Hey! Don't knock the ventriloquists! I remember seeing Gail and Ezra live when I was a kid. I never could figure out why they made Candy Man into a song about God, though. He wouldn't make the world taste good, the devil does that!

[bowlady]

I can't believe nobody's posted this one: 

 

[Black Aliss]

Every time I start thinking we've seen them all, another one pops up.

[PennySycamore]

@Black Aliss, no why would a supposed Indian be yodeling?

[Snarkle]

I was glad to see someone posted a Stryper cover.  A friend of mine's husband is a local musician (his band did have one video on MTV back when it actually played them) and his band has played with Stryper in recent years at some metal/hard rock festivals (apparently metal is metal, even if it's for Jesus).

As for the other covers, I showed my teen son some of them and of course he said, Wow, are they all double entendres?  It's like Fifty Shades of Jesus...

[PopRox]

5 minutes ago, Snarkle said:

As for the other covers, I showed my teen son some of them and of course he said, Wow, are they all double entendres?  It's like Fifty Shades of Jesus...

HAHAHA love it! Your son sounds very clever!

(P.S. Kinda surprised no Christian authors tried to cash in on the "Fifty Shades" craze by writing a book with that title...)

[WhatWouldJohnCrichtonDo?]

2 hours ago, bowlady said:

I can't believe nobody's posted this one: 

 

Aw, come on! It was the '80s! Pastel argyle was in!!!1!!11!!! 

I've actually always liked this one:

[PennySycamore]

16 minutes ago, WhatWouldJohnCrichtonDo? said:

Aw, come on! It was the '80s! Pastel argyle was in!!!1!!11!!! 

In our family, argyle socks were called "Christian" socks for some strange reason. 

ETA:  One thing that gets me is how hard it is to read the titles or "artists" on some of these album covers.  They're a real design fail.

[ladyamylynn]

I've never asked this, but can we pretty please have "Yodeling praises unto the Lord" as a post count title? @Curious @HerNameIsBuffy @Coconut Flan

[Coconut Flan]

User title requests need to go into this thread:

I go in there once every couple of weeks or so and create the new ones.  You should also link to the post where the title originated.  Trusting me to track requests down is not a good idea.  I lose the reminder post its like mad or the dog steals them.

[SuchABlessing]

These are all pretty awful, but what concerns me most is the common use of ventriloquism? How is that Christian? 

i once saw a ventriloquist show on a cruise and it legit freaked me out. Very very creepy stuff lol 

[PennySycamore]

44 minutes ago, SuchABlessing said:

These are all pretty awful, but what concerns me most is the common use of ventriloquism? How is that Christian? 

i once saw a ventriloquist show on a cruise and it legit freaked me out. Very very creepy stuff lol 

Have you ever seen the movie Magic with Anthony Hopkins, Ann-Margaret and Burgess Meredith?  That will scare the hell out of you!

[Black Aliss]

10 hours ago, SuchABlessing said:

These are all pretty awful, but what concerns me most is the common use of ventriloquism? How is that Christian? 

i once saw a ventriloquist show on a cruise and it legit freaked me out. Very very creepy stuff lol 

I know that when I was a kid, traveling evangelist/ventriloquists were a thing. I remember only one who was good enough that I couldn't see his lips moving. I guess that's why the records were so popular. Nothing to see here. . .Heck, if you were a truly terrible ventrigelist, you could just have someone else do the dummy's voice.

 

And yeah, I am old enough to remember Edgar Bergen, Charlie McCarthy, and Mortimer Snerd on the radio but he at least got his start in vaudeville and movies, before going on the radio.

[purjolok84]

"He Touched Me" just sounds so wrong, particularly these days. 

With 'Jesus Use Me' coming a close second. Ugh.

These people have no sense of innuendo or what sounds appropriate, living in their skirts-only, big-hair, courtship cloistered bubbles, do they?

https://goo.gl/images/RyXG63

Am I being really mean (to the person in the picture) if I say that she kind of resembles Jill Rodrigues there? Something about the facial expression there ...

[mango_fandango]

Why do stereotypical ventriloquist dolls look creepy as fuck? Not only that, but they all look so similar!

(I only say stereotypical because the Ines Jeff Dunham uses are not like those, but then he's been doing it since he was like 8 (apparently) and he's in a league of his own when it comes to ventriloquism.)

[older than allosaurs]

On 1/5/2017 at 3:46 PM, Howl said:

This may be one of the most wonderful posts on FJ evah!  Eleventy!!!

This absolutely made my day. Thanks.