Lori Alexander 13: Transformed and Still Judgey

[SweetFellowshipper]

On one hand I know many people with chronic pain and invisible disabilities, especially women, who are mistreated or assumed to be exaggerating or lying. 

On the other hand...Lori sucks and I always feel like she's lying about her illnesses just because she lies about everything.

[kpmom]

Koala quoted Lori:

3 hours ago, Koala said:

 

Erin told me she doesn't even know when Ryan has the flu since he won't complain about it.

I was brought up not to complain too, but the downside is you can tend to minimize a serious problem.

And we know Lori is not like that as she has missed several important family events due to her chronic pain issues.  She makes sure everyone, including blog readers knows about it too.

[polecat]

1 hour ago, Koala said:

 

#2.  Having nothing but a big salad for dinner "many nights" is not going to cut it for 4 growing teenagers (as evidenced by the fact that they wanted the food that Ken cooked).

#3. Why didn't Ken just make enough for his children?  He knew they were hungry and that Lori wasn't cooking for them.  The fact that he acts like he was put out by them asking for "his"
food just shows what kind of dad he was.

#4.  Lori didn't cook for Ken like she claims she did.  She used her illness to get out of cooking and to get her way about controlling food. 

 

This certainly does paint a much different picture of Lori and her family during those early years. And wasn't one of those quotes about her children fearing her pertaining to squirreling food/candy away or something along those lines? Or is my memory failing? 

It sounds to me like Lori was a whining, hypochondriac harridan who spent her days locked in her room, sweeping out dramatically every once in a while to put the smack down on some hapless child or other, hurling printed worksheets down in front of them and calling it "school." Ken was cluelessly shoveling his own food into his face before he charged off to his next basketball game, oblivious to his children's heart- and body hunger.

That sounds like a lovely home situation. (tic) I do agree with Lori on one thing: That nanny was indeed sent from heaven. 

On a side note, it completely grosses me out that a middle-aged woman thought it was in any way appropriate for her elderly father to rub her feet. Lori, you're such a spoiled snot.

[lilwriter85]

1 hour ago, AlwaysDiscerning said:

Her health issues can't be that bad if she managed four pregnancies and four healthy babies all within a close time frame.  Or did the health issues just so happen to start after the last child?

IIRC, she got into a car accident when her youngest child was a toddler and some of the neck issues were due to that accident.

[Koala]

28 minutes ago, polecat said:

This certainly does paint a much different picture of Lori and her family during those early years. And wasn't one of those quotes about her children fearing her pertaining to squirreling food/candy away or something along those lines? Or is my memory failing? 

Yes.

Lori:

Quote

Ask my children how controlling I was...They had to sneak junk food, so I wouldn't get mad at them.  I think they were actually afraid of me, which I don't necessarily think is bad.  Kids should have a deep respect for authority.  

 

[usmcmom]

26 minutes ago, polecat said:

On a side note, it completely grosses me out that a middle-aged woman thought it was in any way appropriate for her elderly father to rub her feet. Lori, you're such a spoiled snot.

I always thought it was nice when...you know...a husband or significant other rubbed your feet when you're ill. The fact that Ken couldn't be bothered doesn't surprise me because basketball. Also, a husband is merely required to lay down his life for his wife; not actually minister to her in any way, so there's that. 

[desertvixen]

@SweetFellowshipper says: On the other hand...Lori sucks and I always feel like she's lying about her illnesses just because she lies about everything.

I don't think she lies, but I do think that in Lori's opinion, no one ever has it as bad as she does. 

The food thing bothers me so much.  I have a ten-year old daughter whose mission in life is apparently to eat everything in the house that's not nailed down.  (And unless the salad is Caesar, she is NOT interested.)  So I keep healthy stuff in the house and feed her.  How can you not feed your kids?

ETA: This especially bothers me because they could afford it.

[purjolok84]

So just finished reading the latest post ...

No excessive care or attention for Lori's kids!

No sleepovers, fun times, or junk food 'just because'.

Lori made sure they knew who was boss so everything was as low maintenance as possible and no one stepped of line. And if they did ... Well, there was no abuse, per se, but I bet those kids knew when something was about to go down.

Good to know you're proud of that Lori!

As a small side note though, I spent NYE with friends who have a two year old girl - I bought a bag of chips and she would ask me for some every so often. Each time she took one she would say 'It's a BIG ONE!' and laugh at me.

Lori chose to pass up good times like that. It's her loss.

[freealljs]

I too think that Lori has passed up on so many good opportunities, but this is the same woman who (I believe) wrote comments about how terrible "fun" is, after her own daughter mentioned that she was a "fun" mother. Yeesh. 

@Kenplease suggest to Lori to stop making those videos. She comes across as a bit unhinged and incoherent. I know not everyone is good at public speaking, but Lori is not portraying herself well. 

[usmcmom]

I recently watched a couple videos that Erika Shupe has done. Wow!  She is so much more polished and coherent than Lori. You can tell Erika prepares and perhaps writes a few notes. Lori seems to just set her phone on "video" and...lets the spirit mover her???

We all have our gifts. YouTube  tutorials are not Lori's gift. 

[dairyfreelife]

I don't really see that's it's a bad thing to have money or to be a little "spoiled". There's nothing wrong with having nice things in life. A nice house, even a nice, large house, nice cars, nice gadgets, nice clothes, nice furniture. By nice, I mean not cheap. I have been in positions with little money and on the verge of being homeless in the past, living paycheck to paycheck, wondering if I had the money to afford my basic bills next month like water, electricity, food, rent. I am now in a more secure position in life. My fiance likes nicer things and he makes good money. He works hard for a good company and the money and benefits show. He likes to "spoil" me with items from nice stores like Macy's. That's okay. He can afford it. We don't feel above others. Well, except the assholes who were horrible to me in school and I see them now living poorly. Yeah, told me I was worthless and terrible, look who's living better now. But that's off-topic. However, being spoiled isn't the same as being a spoiled brat.

It's not your salary, it's your attitude. It's thinking you are better than others. It's thinking that because you have money, haven't struggled, those that do are beneath you. It's not that Ken has money or that he may even spoil her with nice clothes and a nice car and nice furniture, it's that she thinks everyone should and can just live a life without money issues and penny pinch and such and tries to give advice when she has NEVER had to do any of those things. She tells people to stop eating out, yet says they go out about twice a week. She tells readers to buy organic and is baffled when others say they can't get fresh produce locally year-round and when she says come to warm climate like where she lives in expensive southern California they tell her they can't just up and move to such a location. She tells people to not take vacations, yet goes on several each year, going for weeks at a time and doesn't understand when people gave her sideways glances as to how she managed to have a 2 week vacation become 7 weeks on a whim. Hardly anyone can do that, but she did not comprehend. Lori is a spoiled brat who cannot and is unwilling to understand she has lived in a bubble that few live in. Her "old" Mercedes, her $1500 reupholstered furniture, her special carpet install, her children going to BIOLA and private schools, her children having a nanny, having a housekeeper, her twice a week restaurant meals, her vacations to Wisconsin, Hawaii, etc., her getting her way or no way, she lives in her own world where she rules. Everyone is beneath her and everyone does what she says or else she'll throw a fit until she gets her way. Anyone else's needs are less important than her wants. 

Plain and simple, she's a spoiled rotten brat still pitching fits like a child. She has done nothing to prove otherwise or that she has ever learned the error of her ways. Her writings prove time and time again that she was a pampered, spoiled, rotten little brat since she was a child and has not changed. To her sisters, to her parents, to her teachers, to her classmates, to her friends, to her neighbors, to her children, to her husband, to other women online, to everyone she meets. I have yet to see one single story about her life where she was not a brat to someone else. If anyone finds such a story from her about her, feel free to correct me. 

[Hisey]

4 hours ago, purjolok84 said:

As a small side note though, I spent NYE with friends who have a two year old girl - I bought a bag of chips and she would ask me for some every so often. Each time she took one she would say 'It's a BIG ONE!' and laugh at me.

Lori chose to pass up good times like that. It's her loss.

I know! That's the thing! These fundies miss out on so much fun with their kids when they beat them into silence. A cowed child is not going to say most of the adorable, naive things that come into her young mind. A beaten-into-submission child is not going to do the funny things that secure, well-loved children do, the things that make you shake your head and laugh. 

Lori, kids settle down eventually whether you beat them with a leather strap or not. Both my kids were wild and wacky when they were little. My oldest was constantly filthy because of her busy explorations of the world. My youngest had a streak of mischief and curiosity a mile wide. We lived in a rather fundie town when my kids were small and I know some people shook their heads when they saw how we laughed when our kids said wacky things in public, didn't freak out if the kids got messy in the mud, and let them be wild and noisy in their play.  Both are teenagers now and --without ever being hit --they have transformed into smart, kind, "well-behaved" young women, all on their own. And my husband and I have lots of memories of two adorable impulsive little girls who said and did such funny things because they felt safe enough to do so.

[Hisey]

4 hours ago, desertvixen said:

@SweetFellowshipper says: On the other hand...Lori sucks and I always feel like she's lying about her illnesses just because she lies about everything.

I don't think she lies, but I do think that in Lori's opinion, no one ever has it as bad as she does. 

The food thing bothers me so much.  I have a ten-year old daughter whose mission in life is apparently to eat everything in the house that's not nailed down.  (And unless the salad is Caesar, she is NOT interested.)  So I keep healthy stuff in the house and feed her.  How can you not feed your kids?

ETA: This especially bothers me because they could afford it.

LOL, I have a kid like that, my youngest. She eats everything in sight.

The "secret" to getting kids to eat healthy, I've found, is to only have healthy foods in the house. And to prepare healthy foods and have them laying around, without saying a word about it.. Like leaving a plate of cut up apples on the table. No need to "force" anybody to eat anything. But when good food is left out, and looks attractive, it generally gets eaten. 

That works till a kid can go to the store by themselves. Then it gets harder. I am dealing with that with my 16-year old, who loves the independence she gets from driving, and her newfound ability to drive herself to junk food.  Luckily, by 16, kids are old enough to reason with. I just gently point out "Is it good to eat so much of X and then not want to eat dinner?" and she gets the point. I figure it's just a phase.

But for kids under 16 it's pretty easy. Mom calls the shots on what food comes into the house. A little junk food leaks in through birthday parties, grandparents, etc, but that's not going to kill them. I don't understand why Lori had so much conflict.

[Luvmyskinnyjeanz]

2 hours ago, Hisey said:

My oldest was constantly filthy because of her busy explorations of the world

My youngest was constantly naked, no matter how hard I tried to keep clothes on him he would rip them off, at the time we lived in the Pilbara (North Western Australia) so it was always hot, I remember walking through the shopping centre with him and he was leaving a trail of clothing. I managed to get him, about 2 and a half, to compromise tshirt and shoes off but keep nappy and shorts on and everyone happy, unlike Lori's kids. 

[onemama]

5 hours ago, Luvmyskinnyjeanz said:

My youngest was constantly naked, no matter how hard I tried to keep clothes on him he would rip them off, at the time we lived in the Pilbara (North Western Australia) so it was always hot, I remember walking through the shopping centre with him and he was leaving a trail of clothing. I managed to get him, about 2 and a half, to compromise tshirt and shoes off but keep nappy and shorts on and everyone happy, unlike Lori's kids. 

I remember reading about the sin of "exhibitionism" on the raising godly tomatoes blog. The lady spanked her son for streaking through the house naked.  

In that culture, everything is either sin or "godly", obedience or disobedience.  Growing up, we were punished for eating the candy we got at school when kids celebrated their birthdays. We were supposed to put it in our pockets and bring it home. That candy literally burned in my pocket until I gave in and ate it, and then lied about having eaten it. To this day, I still feel the need to hide sweet foods and I struggle with the feeling that I'm doing something wrong when I buy them and eat them.  In my opinion, the food policing did a lot more harm than good. 

[Luvmyskinnyjeanz]

6 minutes ago, onemama said:

I remember reading about the sin of "exhibitionism" on the raising godly tomatoes blog. The lady spanked her son for streaking through the house naked.  

In that culture, everything is either sin or "godly", obedience or disobedience.  Growing up, we were punished for eating the candy we got at school when kids celebrated their birthdays. We were supposed to put it in our pockets and bring it home. That candy literally burned in my pocket until I gave in and ate it, and then lied about having eaten it. To this day, I still feel the need to hide sweet foods and I struggle with the feeling that I'm doing something wrong when I buy them and eat them.  In my opinion, the food policing did a lot more harm than good. 

I always giggle a bit when I read about spanking, we call it smacking, spanking is the kinky adult fun time one. . Little kids love being naked until they are taught to be ashamed of their bodies. Same with food, anything that is forbidden or secretive instantly becomes more appealing and teaches the kid to become sneaky. Stupid fundies. 

 

 

[Koala]

Lori Alexander:

Quote

Men value feminine women who act like women. They like soft and gentle women who love to cook for them, take care of their homes, don’t nag them, and please them sexually.

#1. They like soft gentle women

Lori Alexander:

Quote

I am  lion...hear my roar!

I think Lori's attitude towards her readers is very clear evidence that's she's anything but soft and gentle.  More like a bull in a china shop.

#2 They like women who cook for them

Ken Alexander:

Quote

I had to fend for myself many days and nights. 

Quote

Many nights Lori made her big salads

Well, I guess if you like Big Salads....but I guess it turned out okay, because as Ken said:

Quote

 I cooked

#3 They like women who take care of their homes.

Ken Alexander:

Quote

You keep a tidy home, not spotless, but clean.

I wonder if the work the maid does counts?  Maybe instead of sending her next door to get dirt on the neighbors (for Lori to blog about), she should have her stick around so the house can be more than "tidy".  

As Lori always says:

And whatsoever ye do your maid does, do it heartily, as to the Lord

#4.  They like women who don't nag them.

Now this is true.  I know my husband would much prefer me to take not so subtle digs at him on the internet, than to nag him.  Nagging is a SIN!

#5 They like women who please them sexually

Lori Alexander:

Quote

IT ONLY NEEDS TO TAKE TEN MINUTES!!! 

Yep, only 10 minutes and some lube!

[polecat]

15 minutes ago, Koala said:

Men value feminine women who act like women. They like soft and gentle women

This might be what Ken likes, but Lori needs to stop speaking for all men. If women can't teach men, they sure as hell shouldn't speak for them.

 

[AlwaysDiscerning]

Looky here...the world's highest paying jobs with the least stress..

#14 - Orthodontist -- $221K a year

What a cushy life the Alexanders live. He needs a more stressful job because pain is a great teacher. How else will he ever learn. 

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-4084336/Business-Insider-reveals-jobs-combine-low-stress-high-pay.html

[polecat]

1 hour ago, AlwaysDiscerning said:

Looky here...the world's highest paying jobs with the least stress..

#14 - Orthodontist -- $221K a year

What a cushy life the Alexanders live. He needs a more stressful job because pain is a great teacher. How else will he ever learn. 

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-4084336/Business-Insider-reveals-jobs-combine-low-stress-high-pay.html

 

Ken isn't an orthodontist. He's a consultant, which could mean pretty darn near anything. But I can all but guarantee the vast majority of his stress isn't coming from his job.

Lori, otoh, is clearly a great teacher because she's a massive pain in the ass.

[AlwaysDiscerning]

He is an orthodontist consultant. Begs the question then how does one get to consult orthodontists if not one himself...how do you just get into that field.

[kpmom]

15 minutes ago, AlwaysDiscerning said:

He is an orthodontist consultant. Begs the question then how does one get to consult orthodontists if not one himself...how do you just get into that field.

According to their web site, they help with scheduling, new patient process, management, staff training.

http://www.alexanderandsons.consulting/services/orthodontic-management-consulting

[AlwaysDiscerning]

I just wonder why orthodontics, why the interest? Can I just start consulting doctors without  medical experience. I guess you just need business experience.  sorry I was wrong but I recall lots of references here to "orthodontist husband". Either way they still appear to have money.

[December]

4 hours ago, polecat said:

This might be what Ken likes, but Lori needs to stop speaking for all men. If women can't teach men, they sure as hell shouldn't speak for them.

 

If other husbands have different views of what a relationship should look like, or what their wives should do, it's because there's something wrong with them because her obviously personal set of relationship rules are applicable to all couples.

Or, it's just the same thing that many people do... tell other people there's only correct right way and it magically happens to be theirs, because they're actually insecure about their choices for whatever reason.

[ViolaSebastian]

2 hours ago, AlwaysDiscerning said:

I just wonder why orthodontics, why the interest? Can I just start consulting doctors without  medical experience. I guess you just need business experience.  sorry I was wrong but I recall lots of references here to "orthodontist husband". Either way they still appear to have money.

One of his power points turned up on one of the threads. It was hilariously terrible and gave some insight into his *cough cough* skills.