Whitney and Zach Bates- Part 2

[feministxtian]

47 minutes ago, JillyO said:

No, all he can possibly imagine for her is she'll grow up and get married and have babies.

Well..my hubby, who is as UNfundie as can be...has taken great pride in his daughters' achievements, one is an RN working on her BSN, the other is in law enforcement...HOWEVER, the image in his mind was the day he'd walk his baby girls down the aisle. 

And he's married to a decidedly unfundie wife...(me). 

I don't think that Zach's thinking of his baby girl's wedding day has anything to do with anything else....other than knowing that once she gets married, daddy won't be her #1 guy anymore. At least, that's how my hub explained it to me when his girls got married. It's sort of the visible sign that they're not his little girls anymore. 

[ophelia]

6 hours ago, JillyO said:

Of course he couldn't possibly be tearing up at the thought of her growing up and becoming a doctor, or writing a bestl-selling novel, or winning the fucking Nobel peace prize. No, all he can possibly imagine for her is she'll grow up and get married and have babies. FUCK THIS SHIT!

Of course her only possible achievement is getting married and popping out baby, because this is the only way to biblical womanhood in their book. And again the hypocrisy burns: the whole patriarchy, quiverfull, sahd movement is based on the oppression of feminine sexuality and yet again fundie fathers will make absolutely sure that their daughers get only married to a guy that wants to impregnate her at every possible moment and so it is all about sex.

[Carm_88]

Zach already tears up at the thought of her growing up and getting married.

Of course he couldn't possibly be tearing up at the thought of her growing up and becoming a doctor, or writing a bestl-selling novel, or winning the fucking Nobel peace prize. No, all he can possibly imagine for her is she'll grow up and get married and have babies. FUCK THIS SHIT!

She's a female! How could she possibly do any of these things with all the children that she will be popping out? It might be normal to think about the wedding day but unlike the average female, it will be the absolute biggest day of Kaci's life. I feel sad that she won't know the fun/awkwardness of going to prom/dances, of going to an actual school, of living in a dorm/small apartment with a bunch of friends, having the freedom to drink and dance, to make mistakes in love and truly find someone perfect for her. I know they don't see it this way but Zach and Whitney are robbing their children, just as Gil and Kelly robbed Zach.

[VelociRapture]

10 hours ago, JillyO said:

Of course he couldn't possibly be tearing up at the thought of her growing up and becoming a doctor, or writing a bestl-selling novel, or winning the fucking Nobel peace prize. No, all he can possibly imagine for her is she'll grow up and get married and have babies. FUCK THIS SHIT!

That bothered me too. Yeah, it's sweet to imagine my kid possibly getting married one day - but there's no guarantee she'll want that and it's not right to make it the sole focus of her future the way Fundies do. She's only a baby, but I already know she has so much potential and so much to offer the world.

My MIL made a sweet comment at Christmas to my newborn about how no guy will ever be good enough for her - and I mean that sincerely. It was very sweet and I know she meant it innocently enough.

I, in turn, gently told my daughter that no one is "too good" for anyone else and that I'll support her if she ever wants a romantic relationship one day - regardless of what sex or gender or anything that person is. All that matters to me is they treat her right and she treats them right in return. And if she doesn't want a romantic relationship, then that's wonderful too. I just want her happy and healthy and loving the life she has.

(My MIL agreed with what I said by the way. Only thing she wants is a happy and healthy grandkid. She's awesome like that. )

[nausicaa]

10 hours ago, feministxtian said:

I don't think that Zach's thinking of his baby girl's wedding day has anything to do with anything else....other than knowing that once she gets married, daddy won't be her #1 guy anymore. At least, that's how my hub explained it to me when his girls got married. It's sort of the visible sign that they're not his little girls anymore. 

However well-intentioned that might be, frankly I still find this thinking sexist (even if it is done unconsciously). If one is a nurse and the other is in law enforcement, then they weren't anyone's little girl for a long time, but independent women. Treating marriage as "the" visible sign that girls have turned into women is still pushing patriarchal beliefs about how women fit into our society, diminishing their agency, and defining them by their relationship to men. 

I understand that a lot of parents feel this way and don't have any negative intentions behind it, but I still find the benevolent sexism damaging and something that needs to be examined.

[freedom_for_all]

However well-intentioned that might be, frankly I still find this thinking sexist (even if it is done unconsciously). If one is a nurse and the other is in law enforcement, then they weren't anyone's little girl for a long time, but independent women. Treating marriage as "the" visible sign that girls have turned into women is still pushing patriarchal beliefs about how women fit into our society, diminishing their agency, and defining them by their relationship to men. 
I understand that a lot of parents feel this way and don't have any negative intentions behind it, but I still find the benevolent sexism damaging and something that needs to be examined.

I think I will always be my daddies little girl, even when I am old and gray. Don't get me wrong, he treats and respects me like the adult I am (even though I personally don't feel like an adult). We talk politics and debate and do all sorts of fun things. Doesn't mean I'm not still his little girl.

Sorry random tangent, I should call my dad.

[nausicaa]

30 minutes ago, freedom_for_all said:

I think I will always be my daddies little girl, even when I am old and gray. Don't get me wrong, he treats and respects me like the adult I am (even though I personally don't feel like an adult). We talk politics and debate and do all sorts of fun things. Doesn't mean I'm not still his little girl.

Sorry random tangent, I should call my dad.

The "always daddy's little girl" thing actually bothers me less than the "daddy's little girl until marriage" idea. 

The latter suggests women aren't fully formed adults until having a husband. The former is more of a reflection just on how parents see their children in general. 

[JillyO]

3 hours ago, nausicaa said:

However well-intentioned that might be, frankly I still find this thinking sexist (even if it is done unconsciously). If one is a nurse and the other is in law enforcement, then they weren't anyone's little girl for a long time, but independent women. Treating marriage as "the" visible sign that girls have turned into women is still pushing patriarchal beliefs about how women fit into our society, diminishing their agency, and defining them by their relationship to men. 

I understand that a lot of parents feel this way and don't have any negative intentions behind it, but I still find the benevolent sexism damaging and something that needs to be examined.

Agreed. Hardly anyone ever says about their little boy "I can't believe that one day he'll grow up and get married." And absolutely no one ever says about a man getting married "aww, now he's not daddy's/momma's little boy anymore." So however well-intentioned you or your spouse are in saying something like that about your daughter, please know that it perpetuates sexism and patriarchy.

[wikinggirl]

16 hours ago, JillyO said:

Of course he couldn't possibly be tearing up at the thought of her growing up and becoming a doctor, or writing a bestl-selling novel, or winning the fucking Nobel peace prize. No, all he can possibly imagine for her is she'll grow up and get married and have babies. FUCK THIS SHIT!

I totally agree. And she is SEVEN MONTHS OLD! Take a chill pill. 

[Carm_88]

14 minutes ago, wikinggirl said:

I totally agree. And she is SEVEN MONTHS OLD! Take a chill pill. 

But she will be a sister mom before you know it. Unless Zach and Whitney aren't having anymore children...which would be great. 

[GoneDownTheRabbitHole]

I don't have kids, but it sure seems like Zach and Whitney are always saying how they don't want their kids to grow up and how big they're getting in almost every single post. Is that dramatic or is that how most parents feel? I get wanting to enjoy each age group, but it seems excessive in each post!

[RosyDaisy]

I forgot Kaci is 7 months old. Who wants to bet there will be an announcement coming soon?

[hollyandivy]

1 hour ago, RosyDaisy said:

I forgot Kaci is 7 months old. Who wants to bet there will be an announcement coming soon?

Those were my thoughts exactly....

 

As for the marriage thing: it seems to be the only life goal a girl can have - get married and become a broodmare - just ugh!

[Bethella]

2 hours ago, RosyDaisy said:

I forgot Kaci is 7 months old. Who wants to bet there will be an announcement coming soon?

If they maintain their previous spacing of 20 months, she won't be getting pregnant until about May, due around February 2018.

[RosyDaisy]

I not so sure they are consciously spacing. Zach was attending the police academy away from home at some point.

[Screamapillar]

14 hours ago, GoneDownTheRabbitHole said:

I don't have kids, but it sure seems like Zach and Whitney are always saying how they don't want their kids to grow up and how big they're getting in almost every single post. Is that dramatic or is that how most parents feel? I get wanting to enjoy each age group, but it seems excessive in each post!

I do get a little weepy each time my daughter grows into a bigger size of clothes and I put all of the cute little things that she's outgrown away. But at the same time, the exciting thing about being a parent for me is just imagining the things that she'll do with her life. So it's like yeah, she's a cute little baby right now and I'll miss all of the snuggles and rocking her to sleep and all that but in 50 years it will be even cooler when I can be like, "Oh, have you heard of my daughter: Chief Justice Screamapillar?"

[RosyDaisy]

My dad said the same things about me and my sister. Except, he mentioned college and jobs before marriage.

[JordynDarby5]

On ‎1‎/‎22‎/‎2017 at 5:56 PM, RosyDaisy said:

I forgot Kaci is 7 months old. Who wants to bet there will be an announcement coming soon?

I've been wondering if Whitney and Erin will both be announcing soon.

 

 

 

[RosyDaisy]

You know, I don't think Erin really understands that pregnancy could kill her and her baby. It appears to me that now she has this cocktail of drugs that the only thing she's worried about is getting that epidural. I wonder if Dr. Paine has been giving her medical advice like he did when he told rape victim to eat a protein bar.

[ophelia]

2 hours ago, RosyDaisy said:

You know, I don't think Erin really understands that pregnancy could kill her and her baby. It appears to me that now she has this cocktail of drugs that the only thing she's worried about is getting that epidural. I wonder if Dr. Paine has been giving her medical advice like he did when he told rape victim to eat a protein bar.

He did what???

 

When Erin and Chad had Carson and spoke about how diffucult it was for them to have children due to Erin medical condition I really thought they would be more careful, but then they had Brooklyn soon after Carson and I can totally see them announce a third pregnancy in the near future. And it'll all be about trusting and pleasing god. Using your brain or at least common sense is just too damn much to ask for in their circles.

[RosyDaisy]

Yes, Dr. Paine told a rape victim to eat a protein bar. This victim is one of several plaintiffs in a civil lawsuit against IBLB and it's board of directors, which include Gil Bates and Dr. Paine (Chad's father). These victims claim they were sexually abused and harassed. It's awful. The full transcript is stored here somewhere.

[Melissa1977]

6 hours ago, RosyDaisy said:

You know, I don't think Erin really understands that pregnancy could kill her and her baby. It appears to me that now she has this cocktail of drugs that the only thing she's worried about is getting that epidural. I wonder if Dr. Paine has been giving her medical advice like he did when he told rape victim to eat a protein bar.

She said no more kids.

Only time will tell.

 

 

[wandering woman]

When did Erin say no more kids?

[ophelia]

2 hours ago, RosyDaisy said:

Yes, Dr. Paine told a rape victim to eat a protein bar. This victim is one of several plaintiffs in a civil lawsuit against IBLB and it's board of directors, which include Gil Bates and Dr. Paine (Chad's father). These victims claim they were sexually abused and harassed. It's awful. The full transcript is stored here somewhere.

I REALLY need to read the transcripts, but I actually don't want cause I think I'd find them too horrible.

49 minutes ago, Melissa1977 said:

She said no more kids.

Only time will tell.

 

 

I don't follow the show, but I'm quite sure that if they stated something like this there would have been a HUGE FJ party going on.

[RosyDaisy]

At no point have Erin or Chad ever outright said they were never having anymore kids. Erin has said this is 2 of 2. That is not the same thing. They are quiverfull fundies. Not being open to have children is a sin to these people.